Monday, November 21, 2005

Welcome (Again) to Massachusetts

Immigration laws? Well, those are more like guidelines. So, let's give illegal aliens taxpayer-funded tuition discounts, and drivers licenses.

Drug laws? Well, those could best be described as suggestions. So, we'll legalize the sale of needles to known heroin users, while we prosecute people selling pipes to known marijuana users.

Sex offender laws? No such thing - so long as you're a confessed child molester who also happens to be a police officer.

But, wait a minute!

What's this?

A supermarket wants to open on Thanksgiving Day? And the owner wants to give his employees the option of working that day or not? And pay them double-time for showing up? Not in Massachusetts you don't! We have laws here, pal! And we'll enforce them with vigor, damn it!

An attempt by the Whole Foods supermarket chain to defy the state's centuries-old "blue laws" and open on Thanksgiving has been shut down by the state attorney general, who told the upscale chain to stay closed for the holiday or risk criminal charges.

We're from the government, and we're here to help.