Saturday, December 31, 2005

Photo Album Flashbacks - vol. 4

Caption this undated photo of your humble host.

(click for larger image)

Friday, December 30, 2005

New Year's Resolution #1

File the paperwork required to have my full name legally changed to Extra Crispy, Please.

Post Mortem Equine Flagellations

Looking back at some of the local news items from just the last couple of weeks, it's becoming more and more clear what a blissful world of peace...

Once inside, they put the woman in a kitchen chair and tied her up with rope. After the thieves threatened to hit the woman with a flashlight, she lead them to a paper bag that contained $55.

NEWTON, Mass. -- Newton police arrested a man early Friday morning for allegedly breaking into a neighbor's house and stabbing a man and his wife.

DEDHAM -- An Everett man is the third person to be arrested and charged with forcing his way into a Dedham home last week and mugging a man inside, according to police Sgt. Robert Nedder.


Nedder said since all three are accused of hitting the man, they are charged with armed burglary, even though they had no weapons.


LAWRENCE, Mass. - A 64-year-old man was tied to a bed with a telephone cord, beaten and left to die by a New Hampshire couple who then plundered his bank account, authorities said. The man was saved when his landlord found him 36 hours later.


TAUNTON — A man was beaten and stabbed Wednesday evening during a fight at a sub shop on Washington Street.

...and sugarplums...

Van Callender, 46, 269 Broadway, was arrested and charged with assault and battery with a deadly weapon after allegedly hitting a man with a hammer.

12:50 a.m., a Berkshire Place resident reported that as he was exiting the 7-Eleven at Main and Portland streets, two men approached him, showed a knife and took $35. The suspects fled down Portland toward Broadway.

12:36 a.m., a Hastings Square resident reported that she was walking in the area of Pear and Cottage streets when two men showed a knife and took her cell phone and bag. The men fled toward Central Square.

...we would live in, if only we could make all the evil...

The victim was shopping inside Village Baby, at 23 Harvard St., around 3 p.m. on Dec. 20, when a man allegedly took her wallet, hit her and threatened to cut her if she did not get out of his way when he tried to leave the store.


He drove to a Wal-Mart in Framingham and saw a 25-year-old woman settling her 2-year-old son in his car seat. He jumped into the passenger seat, shoved a chef’s knife against her, and forced her to drive, threatening to kill her and her son if she didn’t do as he said, police said.


On Dec. 19, a suspect in his 20s, armed with a knife, robbed a male resident as he crossed the footbridge over the Massachusetts Turnpike in Allston, according to a police report. The incident occurred around 8:45 p.m. The victim was not injured.


A man is being treated for non-life threatening injures after Boston Police say he fell out of a window on Northampton Street while trying to escape from a suspect armed with a knife.


Right before Nikhil Dhar began beating and stabbing professor Mary Elizabeth Hooker outside her Cambridge home last Thursday evening, he told her, "Now I will have to go back to my country," according to police testimony at a court hearing yesterday.

All we need now is a way to blame New Hampshire and Vermont for all of this, and we'll be all set.

Pulling Up the Tent Stakes - Reason #7,230

Driving north for some skiing anytime soon?

If so, should you find yourself in need of a gallon of milk, a cup of coffee, a bag of Doritos, or a 12-pack of Old Milwaukee, might I suggest the Exit 3 Travel Stop in Portsmouth, New Hampshire?

Store Clerk Says He'll Continue To Carry Gun

PORTSMOUTH, N.H. -- A store clerk fired for bringing a gun to work has a new job at another store.

Bruce Soiett said that he always brings his .45-caliber handgun to work. He used to work at a Cumberland Farms in Greenland, and on Dec. 7, the store was robbed at gunpoint. When the thief ran, Soiett followed him.

"I yelled at him to stop, and he turned with the gun," Soiett said. "I fired two quick shots because I thought he was going to shoot at me."

No one was hit, and the robber was never caught. Soiett lost his job because Cumberland Farms has a no-weapon policy. The owner of the Exit 3 Travel Stop in Portsmouth was happy to hire him.

Gee, I guess their "No Guns Allowed" sign wasn't printed in a language the gun-toting scumbag could understand. You can bet your ass the muzzle end of Mr. Soiett's Glock sure as hell was, though.

"We feel more comfortable having people who can stand up for themselves," store owner Bharat Batel said.

Welcome to America, Mr. Batel. Glad to have you here!

Greenland Police Chief Mike Maloney said that while Soiett has every right to pack heat at work, he has some concerns.

"The clerk might get killed over $200," Maloney said.

As opposed to an unarmed store clerk who could just use his or her Jedi Knight mind tricks to convince the armed thug to lay down his weapon and lead a life of good will and charity.

"I find, in my opinion, it's just best to let us do our jobs."

If part of your job description includes tracing chalk outlines around dead convenience store clerks, then I have a few suggestions what you can do with your opinion there, Chief.

Soiett said that as long as he has a job at a convenience store, his gun will be loaded, just in case.

"If you come in and rob from me, you may get more than your money," he said.

Cumberland Farms could not be reached for comment.

Not surprising - it's not easy to comment with your head so far up your ass that there's no room to squeeze in a microphone.

(link via KABA)

Pulling Up the Tent Stakes - Reason #7,229

You think the Boston Globe would ever print anything remotely resembling this article from today's Union Leader?

The M&M Show: Another mayor shifts blame to guns

ONE MONTH after Boston Mayor Tom Menino blamed his city’s rise in gun-related crime on looser gun laws in northern New England, Toronto Mayor David Miller blamed Toronto’s, and Canada’s, recent spike in gun crime on looser American gun laws.

Welcome to The M&M Show, starring mayors Menino and Miller! Watch in wonder as they deftly blame outsiders for their cities’ crime problems! Sit in amazement as they ignore criminals and attempt to rid the streets of inanimate objects!

Like Menino, Miller didn’t bother to explain how the differential in gun laws, which has existed for years, all of a sudden caused Canadian shootings to rise. Did Canadian criminals just now figure out they could get guns more easily south of the border?

He did, however, spread the blame. If only the Canadian government had more social programs, low-income Canadians wouldn’t have to resort to crime to make ends meet.

Evidently, Miller has never read H.L. Mencken, who wisely observed, “The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.”

One security expert at the Toronto-based Mackenzie Institute called the mayor’s blaming of America “a cop out” and noted that the real problem is a rise in criminal gangs.

Imagine that. Criminals causing crime. But don’t tell the mayors. They’ll have to change their act. And then what would we do for entertainment?

That third paragraph echoes the question I asked last month as Mumbles was kicking off his latest version of the Blame New Hampshire Game - and it bears repeating here.

When Boston had "only" 31 homicides back in 1999, that statistic was held up as incontrovertible evidence that the "most effective gun laws in the nation" were working, despite the accompanying fact that neighboring states such as New Hampshire, Maine, and Vermont had pretty much the same, if not looser, restrictions on gun ownership in place that they do today.

But, now that the murder rate in Boston is back up to its highest level in ten years, why is it suddenly our neighboring states' fault for flooding our streets with guns, as the Mayor would sincerely like you to believe?

Welcome to Massachusetts - please check your ability to process logical thought at the door.

( link via Jeff at Alphecca - who should be on your "daily reads" list if he's not already)

Literacy In the Home

Alternate Title: Reason #17,286,512 why I love my kids.

Me: (turning bottle toward 3-year-old Daughter) What are these letters, honey?

Daughter: G-U-I-N-N-E-S-S

Me: And, what does that spell?

Daughter: Beer!


Me: That's right.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

A Late Christmas Present

Thank you, Santa.

KABUL, Afghanistan (CNN) -- Two would-be suicide bombers have blown themselves up while strapping on explosives in a store in southern Afghanistan, police said.

The explosion took place at 2 p.m. (0930 GMT) Thursday in the town of Waish, about a kilometer from the Pakistan border, and no one else was hurt, according to Abdul Hakim Hungar, deputy police chief of Kandahar province.

Now, if that doesn't put the world's biggest shit-eatin' grin on your face, there's something seriously wrong with you.

She Could Have Been Wustoff, I Suppose

Here's another one I meant to get to earlier, but I'm glad I put it off until this great write up from the Boston Globe came out - lots of good material here. Of course, it begs the obvious question - how long before the enlightened people of Cambridge vote themselves out of the right to own kitchen knives?

CAMBRIDGE-- A 22-year-old student from the University of Massachusetts at Lowell accused of attacking a "favorite" teacher with a kitchen knife last week...

I'd hate to have been on this guy's list of crappy teachers. a dispute over a failing grade might have been concerned about being deported to his native India, officials said.

Well, asshole, if all goes well (not holding my breath), you've just extended your visa by 20 to 30 years. Welcome to the Massachusetts Department of Correction.

Prosecutors said Dhar followed Hooker home from the school Thursday afternoon, waiting while she stopped for coffee, and then attacked her in front of her house, slashing her neck repeatedly before a neighbor chased him away.

Also noteworthy, the neighbor who interceded and saved this woman's life is a U.S. Army reservist - you know, one of those violent killers that the good people of Cambridge don't want anywhere near their fair city.

OK, onto the obligatory "nice kid" commentary from the scumbag's friends and family. I do love this part so.

Friends and family said Dhar, who moved from Calcutta to Lowell in 2002 on a student visa, spoke highly of Hooker and was not a violent person.

Yep, right up to the point where the knife entered her neck, he was a real peach.

Friends and relatives of Dhar said yesterday they believe the attack was a misunderstanding.

Ahhhh, so he simply misunderstood the laws in this country against jamming a kitchen knife into someone's neck. Well, that clears it up. You are free to go now, Mr. Dahr.

Ganga Sharma, a close friend of Dhar's, said Dhar was a ''great guy" who always took care of others.

I tend to agree with Mr. Sharma here. Though, it depends on your definition of "taking care of", I suppose.

And with 2005 coming to a close in just two days, I'm happy to say that this line from his attorney will, in fact, be eligible for the Quote of the Year Award:

"That was his favorite professor," said Stephen Hrones, Dhar's lawyer. "I guess the fear of flunking out and disappointing his family and losing his visa was just building pressure on him. The fact that he went to visit her showed his concern."

Yeah, it's not like he just showed up on her doorstep out of thin air and started attacking her. He stalked her first, so let's cut him some slack. It's the "progressive" thing to do.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

It Takes a Village Idiot

Brace yourselves, we're once again going into the dark, forbidden forest known as the Boston Globe's letters to the editor.

A bit of Bolivia right here

December 28, 2005

IN PROMOTING the need for socioeconomic change in Bolivia, the editorial "Bolivian reality check" (Dec. 26) asserts that "democracy will not have much of a future in countries where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer." I could not agree more.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the top fifth of households in the United States accounted for 43.6 percent of aggregate income in 1967, while the lowest fifth only earned 4 percent. In 2004, the top fifth accounted for 50.1 percent while the lowest fifth earned a meager 3.4 percent.

Bolivia does not seem to be the only country whose democracy is threatened by economic inequity.


A concept apparently lost on this budding young member of the Karl Marx Admiration Society is the blatantly obvious observation that the American economy is not a zero-sum game. Folks like Eric here honestly believe that in order for a person to become rich in this country, he or she has to literally take that money away from someone of lesser means.

Following young Eric's example, let's have a look at those at the U.S. Census Bureau income tables.

First, the change in percent share of aggregate income, originally cited by our young collectivist friend here, for the bottom fifth of American households (this particular table only goes up to 2003, so I'm using those numbers instead).

2003: 3.4%
1967: 4.0%

Again, if we were playing a zero-sum game, where no money enters or leaves the equation, this would be indicative of "the poor getting poorer", as Eric and his ilk are wont to say. But, let's assume the US economy has strengthened and grown somewhat over the last 38 years - a scary thought to some.

Looking at the actual incomes in dollars associated therewith:

2003: $17,984
1967: $3,000

OK, OK, in the interest of being fair and balanced, and to assuage the "concerns" of the "It Takes a Village to Raise a Communist" Brigade, let's see what these numbers look like adjusted for inflation - in 2003 dollars (same link as above):

2003: $17,984
1967: $14,004

So, taking inflation into account, the poor people of 2003 were making about 28% more than they were in 1967.

And this is a bad thing?

Apparently, it is to Mr. Biewener and those who believe we'd be better off if there were no "rich" people or "poor" people in the world. The whole notion of someone taking advantage of all the economic opportunities this country has to offer and becoming financially successful as a result thereof just turns their stomachs.

Of course, these are the same people who think that if we could only funnel a few more billion dollars through the coffers of the corrupt dictators running the world's poorest, third-world, shithole countries, then we'd end poverty once and for all.

Just one, small, problem there, folks.




That's the funny thing about reality - she is one cold-hearted mother-fucker, huh, kids?

So, you socialist drones can sit around the T entrance at Harvard Square, wearing your hemp-woven Che Guevara t-shirts, banging on empty five-gallon buckets, chanting "the rich get richer and the poor get poorer" all day long, but it will never change the fact that the "rich people" in this country are simply getting richer faster than the "poor people" are.

How is that a difficulty concept to understand?

Tell you what - pick two people at random off the street. Give one of them $20, the other $1,000. Now tell them they've got 24 hours to use that money to turn a profit of $20. Who's going to have a tougher time accomplishing that?

I apologize if my application of common sense and factual information here has in any way shattered or damaged your Utopian visions of paradise, but someone had to do it. Just draw the curtains of your dorm room tight, relax, take a deep breath, and count to ten. Everything's going to be fine.

Does This Sound Familiar?

From the Boston Herald:

The $147 million taxpayer-funded price tag for a ____________ already likened to a ____________ could soar $40 million higher because of allegations the state hid pre-construction problems in the bidding process.

I know what you're thinking. Which leaking, crumbling, or otherwise poorly constructed section of the Big Dig are they talking about this time?

They're not.

A legal battle over the massive expenses incurred during the controversial renovation of downtown Boston's John Adams Courthouse has erupted in Suffolk Superior Court, where builders and subcontractors are demanding millions more for work on the historic Pemberton Square building.

They charge that the state failed to come clean when the job went to bid in 2001 about design flaws relating to fitting electrical and mechanical equipment, cooling tower issues, the presence of calcimine paint and possibly asbestos in the soil of the tunnels under the structure.


Lower court judges jokingly refer to the building - with its marble, granite and mahogany office suites for the judges complete with private baths and kitchens - as the "Palace of Versailles” and SJC Chief Justice Margaret H. Marshall as “Marie Antoinette."

Bienvenue au Massachusetts.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Under the Christmas Tree


Clearing the Cobwebs

OK, back to the daily grind. Another Christmas come and gone. The girls agreed with my assessment that this (much like the last) was the "best Christmas ever".

Regular bloggage will resume shortly.

Friday, December 23, 2005

I Guess It's True What They Say

You really don't need a firearm to defend yourself from an armed assailant. All you have to do is throw yourself out the window.

A man is being treated for non-life threatening injures after Boston Police say he fell out of a window on Northampton Street while trying to escape from a suspect armed with a knife.

It's so simple, it's brilliant. How come I didn't think of that?

Saw This Coming

mAss Backwards (yesterday):

Unless the state legislature can come up with a way to count all the illegal aliens in Massachusetts as lawful residents (and don't tell me they're not working on it already), expect to see the same results in the year-end tally....and next year...and the year after that...

Boston Globe (today):

Secretary of State William F. Galvin said Massachusetts needs to be far more aggressive about making sure its immigrants and its college students are counted in 2010 and devising an economic strategy that will attract businesses and keep them here.

I wish I was wrong more often. Really.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Like a Breath of Fresh Air

For all the times we have to put up with idiotic family members of accused criminals crying on the TV news about what a good boy their delinquent son was, or how he was just starting to turn his life (and budding rap career) around, it is quite refreshing to meet John Savarese.

Mr. Savarese is the stepfather of one Keith Comins who, with his idiot buddies, was arrested for following delivery trucks around town and stealing packages from peoples' front porches.

"Taking some presents off porches. He's stupid[.]"

That 'bout sums it up.

Officials were deciding if the men should be released on bail.

Yeah, wouldn't that be a crying shame if these nice young men had to spend Christmas in the can?

Why People Homeschool

From Greenwich, Connecticut:

Then, Santa Claus encountered the animals in the forest and told them he was discouraged by the way they had divided themselves on the basis of their colors. Santa told the animals that their skin color should not cause division among them and that they should live together in one community.

Where radical Islamic terrorist scumbags and the Euro-socialist scum and third-world shithole dictators who coddle them would be welcomed with open arms and those vile, gun-toting, freedom-loving Americans would be treated like the dangerous, subversive criminals they are.

The animals agreed with Santa's message and then renamed their community The Rainbow Forest. In the play's final scene, the animals linked arms and sang "The Colors of the World Blend in Perfect Harmony."

Linus, please pick up the red courtesy telephone cluebat.

Charlie Brown: [shouting in desperation] Isn't there anyone out there who can tell me what Christmas is all about?

Linus Van Pelt: Sure, Charlie Brown, I can tell you. Lights, please.

[a spotlight shines on Linus]

Linus Van Pelt: "And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the fields, keeping watch over their flocks by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the lord shone round about them, and they were so afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not, for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you this day is born in the City of Bethlehem, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; you shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, good will toward men'". That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie brown.

Link via Michelle Malkin who notes:

Students in Greenwich, CT performed "A Rainbow Christmas" to teach tolerance and diversity. Because a Christmas play that actually taught about, oh, I don't know, Christmas wouldn't be tolerant or diverse enough.

Pass the egg nog.

A Glimpse Into the Future

After this exchange that took place last night over a little tea party playtime, I'd say I'm raising a couple future Dunkin Donuts customers.

Daughter #1: Papa, how many scoops of sugar do you want?

Me: Ummm....two please.

Daughter #1: (turns to Daughter #2) How many scoops do you want?

Daughter #2: Ummm...EIGHT.

Here We Go (Away) Again

Stick this one in the "Gee, I'm stunned" file. Massachusetts Attorney General, and gubernatorial hopeful, Tom Reilly must have his people working overtime to come up with more ways to blame the continuing population decline of Massachusetts on the alleged shortcomings of the Romney administration.

Southern, Western states gain population and political clout

House seats in Northeast at risk in 2010

WASHINGTON -- Southern and Western states are growing so much faster than the rest of the country that several are expected to grab House seats from the Northeast and Midwest when Congress is reapportioned in 2010.

The projections are based on state population estimates by the Census Bureau. The bureau released its July 2005 estimates today, showing that Nevada grew at a faster rate than any other state for the 19th consecutive year, followed by Arizona, Idaho, Florida and Utah.

Of course, the rapid population growth in those states can no doubt be attributed to the liberal, gun-controlling, tax-loving, politicians who maintain their one-party, ideological stranglehold therein, right, Tom?

Rhode Island, New York, and Massachusetts lost population, as did the District of Columbia.

At least, if anything, we're consistent.

Unless the state legislature can come up with a way to count all the illegal aliens in Massachusetts as lawful residents (and don't tell me they're not working on it already), expect to see the same results in the year-end tally....and next year...and the year after that...

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

It's Not Just For Headwear Anymore

Look, nobody's looking to restrict the rights of law-abiding citizens to properly store their leftover meatloaf. All we want are some "common sense" aluminim foil safety laws.

Kingston police yesterday charged three teenagers with creating three homemade bombs out of cleaning solution and aluminum foil, one of which nearly injured a family dog that dropped the device moments before it exploded, police said.


Vile Scumbag of the Week

I've had a post of about 250,000 words bouncing around my head for the last day and a half, with about 249,997 of those words being of a horse-beating, Barrios-bashing nature.

So much to write, so little time. I'll try to be brief.

If you haven't heard by now, or if you're not from 'round these parts, here's the story:

Last Saturday evening, as holiday shoppers bustled about in the parking lot of a Framingham Wal-Mart, a woman and her toddler strolled to their car.

Suddenly, authorities say, Evandro S. Doirado struck.

With 13-inch knife in hand, authorities say, he pounced on them, forcing the pair into her car.

Well, thank God he didn't have a $5 plastic slingshot.

Within minutes, Doirado forced the woman to drive to an adjacent parking lot and sexually assaulted her in the car in front of her 2-year-old son, authorities said.

They then drove to a seaside Plymouth motel room where he repeatedly raped her while her son cowered at the bedside, authorities said.

Her torment ended only after Doirado took her to buy beer at a nearby liquor store Monday. She mouthed "help me" to a customer, then mouthed the name of the motel to a store clerk, who called police, authorities said.

Doirado, 28, of Framingham, was arraigned yesterday in Plymouth District Court on numerous rape and assault charges, and is being held without bail. At a court hearing scheduled for Friday, prosecutors plan to ask a judge to hold him for 60 days without bail because they consider Doirado a public danger.

Gee...what what was their first clue?

"This is random; they didn't know each other," said Plymouth District Attorney Timothy J. Cruz. "The complete randomness, that's what's scary. It could have happened to anyone."

Thanks to the State's tireless efforts to render the populace defenseless against such vermin stool such as this.

He added: "When you do this with a child in the room, you are an evil person. There's no way around it."

As opposed to abducting, robbing, raping, and threatening to kill a defenseless woman WITHOUT a child in the room?

Framingham police and Plymouth prosecutors were not familiar with Doirado. His name did not turn up in sex-offender databases or other court records, and no prior offenses were mentioned in court yesterday

I can only offer two possible explanations:

1. He was a perfectly law-abiding citizen until a few days ago when he picked up a large knife and was instantly transformed into a dangerous, violent, sexual predator by its magical powers.

2. He entered our country in a manner not in compliance with US immigration law, with no intentions whatsoever of adhering to any of our other laws. You know, those silly little laws we have in this country against attempted murder, kidnapping, armed robbery, and aggravated sexual assault.

By golly, if only he was able to get a driver's license and a discounted college tuition, then he would have sought out gainful employment and become a productive member of society, instead of being forced into a life of crime by the cold-hearted Romney administration.

Save us, Governor Reilly!

And from the Boston Herald we get this wonderful bit of advice from Detective Sgt. Christopher Lareau of Chicopee

Police are urging holiday shoppers to be ready to push their panic buttons after a woman and her toddler were kidnapped from a Framingham Wal-Mart this weekend and two other children were almost snatched in Chicopee.

"Don'’t make it easy to become a victim," warned Detective Sgt. Christopher Lareau of Chicopee.

Easy for someone with the unfettered right to carry a firearm to say. Try telling it to the "stewards of the people" on Beacon Hill who have been force-feeding us all their "common sense", "for the children" gun control laws for as long as I care to remember.

Women out shopping yesterday said they'’ve come to fear becoming easy targets this holiday season.

Here's a novel idea - stop voting for the liberal, nanny-state wankers who like it that way. Demand that your right to protect your family from harm be restored to you forthwith!

From having a car'’s panic button at the ready...

What's that, you say? Your '96 Grand Cherokee doesn't have such a feature? And your '89 Caprice isn't equipped with one either? Well, short of buying a new car, maybe there are some other precautions yo can take. Let's read on.

...and parking near the store entrance...

OK, these people have apparently never been to a shopping mall in mid-December. Unless you plan on illegally taking a handicapped spot, that advice is about as useful as putting handlebars on a parakeet. checking for intruders in the back seat...

No wonder these people have never been to a mall in mid-December, they've been home watching far too many teen horror flicks and believing every junk e-mail horror story their idiotic friends send them.

...the women described various strategies for staying safe. missed one.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Playing Catch-Up

Expect light blogging over the next few days as we start gearing up for Christmas. I've got a lot of loose ends to tie up at work before the end of the year. Regardless, here are a couple of the local items in the news I meant to get to earlier.

First up, the U.S. Attorney for New Hampshire tells Mayor Menino and company to get bent.

NH returns fire on 'myth' about Mass. gun violence

The U.S. attorney for New Hampshire is firing back against charges that lax gun control laws in northern New England are partly responsible for an increase in gun crimes in Boston.

U.S. Attorney Thomas Colantuono told Foster's Sunday Citizen that's an "urban myth" that doesn't stand up to the facts.


And the Boston Herald has this great "companion piece" to that Union Leader article today - a classic example of what passes for getting tough on gun crime in the Bay State.

‘Strict’ Mass. gun laws misfire

Last week state police busted a trio of alleged drug dealers from Dorchester. Victor M. Alvarado, 21, John Davis, 35, and Reggie Bragg, 35, were allegedly carrying two kilograms of cocaine and $29,000 in green stuffed into a red Christmas gift bag.

Lucky for the cops, and for the community, the men were allegedly carrying enough drugs to send them to jail for a long, long time. Lucky because the AK-47 machine gun Alvarado allegedly stashed under his bed at 44 Allegheny St. in Roxbury would not guarantee him much jail time, despite the two loaded clips tucked neatly beside the machine gun.

Nor would the loaded .22-caliber Beretta cops say was hidden next to the assault rifle.

Because the guns were in Alvarado’s home, rather than on his person, the state’s mandatory one year for gun possession does not apply and the charge is a misdemeanor for not having a firearms identification card.

The state’s dirty secret behind what is touted as the nation’s toughest gun laws falls under Massachusetts General Law Chapter 269: Section 10H. It essentially states that if someone secrets a gun in their home, rather than stuff it in the back of his pants, the penalty is imprisonment for not more than two years, or by a fine of not more than $500.

Damn you, Kerry Healey!

Consider these cases:

Joseph Valentine Vasquez was locked up in August allegedly with a .9 mm Beretta and a silver .357 both fully loaded. The weapons were found under a mattress at his Dorchester home, next to a Latin Kings manual and some vials of crack cocaine, according to police. However, Vasquez, 21, was not charged with illegal gun possession.

I blame the CIA.

Gregory King was busted at his father’s Roxbury home with a .9 mm Jennings handgun, loaded with 12 rounds, along with crack cocaine, a drug scale and some marijuana, say cops. The 23-year-old was out on bail on another gun case when he was busted in February. He would make bail again, only to allegedly sell drugs to an undercover cop.

I blame Vermont.

But perhaps the most egregious example happened in October when an armed alleged drug dealer, Kevin L. Sanchez, 20, brandished a weapon at a Boston cop, according to police. However, the gun charge was a misdemeanor because Sanchez did not cross the threshold of his Dorchester home when he allegedly pointed the .38 caliber at the officer.

Gee, if the legislature spent one-third the time and energy working to close the "Violent Criminal Scumbags Walk Loophole" as they do trying to close the so-called "Gun Show Loophole", we might actually start to see criminals getting charged, prosecuted, and incarcerated for violating some of our most basic "commmon sense" gun laws.

Wouldn't that be refreshing?

Let's Play "Count the Tragedies"

This story is tragic in more ways than I care to count right now (emphasis mine).

A 4-year-old boy fatally shot himself in the head with a gun he found at home in a bedroom closet, authorities said.

Jovan Mitchell was playing with his 5-year-old cousin Sunday when he shot himself with the 9 mm semiautomatic pistol, Hillsborough County sheriff's investigators said.

The cousin, Lyndon Jenkins, said Jovan had gotten into a bedroom closet before the gun went off. He went to another room of the apartment and told Jovan's mother, 18-year-old Charvanette Mitchell, who called 911.

Cries for tougher gun control laws from the "Blame the Gun" brigade in 3..2..1...

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Another Stray Puppy Followed Me Home

Just got back from the gun show in Salem, New Hampshire.

When I have more time, I'll post a copy of the thank-you letter I plan on sending to Boston Globe columnist, Steve Bailey. Were it not for his moronic, anti-gun screed published in the Globe a few weeks back, I never would have heard of the show and would have missed out of this.

Remington 870 Express Magnum shotgun - 12 ga.
Gorgeous wood - barely used.
(click for larger image)

The guys at Stateline Guns, Ammo & Archery (Plaistow, NH) had it tagged for $279, with the special "Christmas price" of $240. After browsing around and contemplating an old Marlin 60 (.22LR) for $79, I came back and had another "look" at the Remington.

When the "Santa Discount" price reached $225, a strange, magical power overtook my wallet and levitated my credit card right across the table. It was really quite the supernatural phenomenon to behold.

Merry Christmas to me! And a big thank-you to Steve Bailey of the Boston Globe.

As I looked around the room, it became quite apparent what Steve Bailey was so fearful of as he was doing his "research" for his column - a large room full of American citizens wearing patriotic emblems on their clothes, many openly expressing their love for our nation and her armed forces...and smiling.

Oh, the humanity!

UPDATE: The angled view was making her look longer than she is. Here's the side view.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Morons in the News - NH Edition

Best free advice this idiot's ever gonna get.

Next time, just pay the ticket.

Photo Album Flashbacks - vol. 3

Alternate Title: Why Married Guys Should Avoid, At All Cost, the Annual Octoberfest Party at the Harpoon Brewery in Boston

Alternate Alternate Title: You Can't Spell "Harpoon" Without..

[Hey, watch it, man. This is a family place! -ed.]

October 1994 (um...I think)

For the record, regarding that blonde on my left:

1. We definitely did not drive her convertible BMW downtown after drinking as much as we did, I mean, didn't, at the brewery that afternoon/evening/night.

2. After not doing that, we most certainly were not emphatically refused entrance to Clarke's, due to the inebriated state in which we were not.

3. Following those non-occurrences, we most certainly did not, um, "forget to remember" where we "parked" her Beamer, which we certainly didn't think had been stolen that night/morning.

4. I'd tell you more about what didn't happen that night, but I certainly don't not remember forgetting any more of the details, or lack thereof.

Besides, it's not like I was a total drunk back in the old days, to which this picture of me pouring myself out of Amigo's in Portland, Maine (January, have no friggin' clue) will surely attest.

This review of Amigo's pretty much sums it up:

Just off the cobblestones of Dana St., the door to Amigos opens into a less-than-upscale bar...

That's putting a gentle spin on things.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Whiny Pussies in the News - NFL Edition

Hey, T.O., how about a nice hot cup of shut the fuck up?

PHILADELPHIA (AP) -- Before Terrell Owens was banished from the Philadelphia Eagles, the All-Pro wide receiver told GQ magazine that some of his teammates didn't want him to play in the Super Bowl last February.

"A lot of people, they doubted me," Owens said in the January issue of GQ. "Some of my teammates didn't want to see me come back, but I came back.

"That's why I felt so ultimately disrespected, because I knew how hard I worked to get back on that field to help them. Had I not played, who knows, we probably would've gotten beat worse."


Owens told the magazine he felt "used" by the Eagles.

Ownes pulled down $9,160,700 last year, while being "used" by the Eagles. Where do I sign up for some of that disrespect?

Danger! Danger! Danger!

So, I'm heading up to Jay's place early Sunday morning. From there, we're driving over the border to Rockingham Park in nearby Salem, New Hampshire.

Saturday, Dec. 17th & Sunday, Dec. 18th
Exhibitors display and sell guns and other equipment
located in the Grandstand.
Show Hours: Saturday 9 AM - 4 PM / Sunday 9 AM - 3 PM
Admission: $7.00

Sounds fun. Where's the danger in that, you might ask?

Year-end bonus checks were handed out last night at our company's Christm...I mean, holiday party.

To quote Lindsey Buckingham:

I think I'm in trouble...

If a Tree Falls...

If a violent home invasion takes place in one of our "safe" neighborhoods here in Boston, but the major local news outlets choose not to report on it, did it really happen?

Elected officials in Boston are always eager to remind us, through their friends in the local media, that the problem of violent crime in the city isn't as bad as many perceive it to be, and that it's only happening in a few small, isolated portions of the inner-city.

Seems to me, this illusion will continue to be an easy one for the politicians to sell to the public, as long as their comrades in the "news" media remain seemingly determined to avoid reporting on incidents like this when they happens in the upscale, Caucasian-American neighborhoods of Boston.

After all, an uneducated populace is a compliant populace.

From the Beacon Hill Times (12/06/05):

Home invasion intimidates residents

Two Grove Street residents were allegedly threatened and tied up during a mid-day home invasion and robbery last Tuesday, while a third man remained undiscovered in a locked bedroom in the apartment.

This happened in the upper-class neighborhood of Beacon Hill the week after Thanksgiving. Anyone remember reading about this in the Boston Globe? No? How about the Herald? Still no?

How about Channel 4? 5? 7? 25? 38? 56?

Hut, hut, hike!

According to a police report, the incident began at about 11:30 p.m. [mid-day? -ed.] when three men knocked on the door of the Grove Street apartment. The two individuals living in the apartment did not answer the door after seeing the men through a peephole. The suspects then broke the door and entered the apartment. At least one wore a full-face blue ski mask and carried a shotgun.

Spends time on Beacon Hill? Carries a shotgun? Possibly enjoys skiing?

Can John Kerry account for his whereabouts on the evening in question? As we all know, after witnessing his many hunting forays last fall, that is our junior senator's "weapon of choice". No word on whether any of the assailants was driving an Oldsmobile.

Another carried a machete and "talked like a black person," and a third was described as dressed in blue jeans and a white hooded sweatshirt, and spoke with a Spanish or Russian accent.

Was that machete on AG Reilly's list of "prohibited weapons"? I mean, I realize it's not as lethal as a $5 plastic slingshot, but still...

The suspects attempted to open the bedroom door occupied by the third apartment dweller, but did not break the door when discovering it was locked. That man said he had heard the suspects tearing tape, tying the two victims to the floor, and asking them where their property was. The victims later reported that the suspects then stole a lap top computer, cell phone, wallet, driver's license, cash and a bottle of prescription medicine before leaving the premises.

According to the police report, the pair waited about 90 minutes after the suspects left to call 911 because they had been threatened not to contact the police. They told police that one suspect had said, "“You call police and you'’ll get a bullet in your pretty head"” and another had told them, "“We know who you are and where you live. If you call police, we will come back and get you."”

Clearly, they're bluffing. They would never do such a thing. There are laws against doing mean stuff like that.

Captain Bernard O'’Rourke of Area A-1 Boston Police Department said that, despite the fact that the two victims struggled when pushed to the ground and tied up, they did not appear injured and did not require medical attention.

Living a life where you're forced to subject yourself to the "kindness" of heavily-armed home invaders in order to provide for your personal well-being - it's the Massachusetts way! Now shut up and get back in line with the rest of the peasantry.

But, again, if the Globe didn't print it, did it really happen?

(link via reader Boston Shepherd)

Baghdad Ted

To borrow a phrase - heh.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Reilly's Off And Running...

...right out of his friggin' tree.

Reilly Launches First Shots In Governor's Race

Let the mudslinging begin. A day after Governor Romney said he would not run for re-election, Attorney General Tom Reilly officially announced he'’s in the race -– and he took shots at Lieutenant Governor Kerry Healey, a likely candidate for the Republican nomination.

In a Thursday morning news conference, Reilly, a Democrat, called Healey a "willing participant" in an administration that presided over the loss of jobs and population in the state, and which vetoed a bill to promote stem cell research in Massachusetts.

Of course, the state legislature, that holy and anointed body of untouchables, unaccountable to the will of the electorate, and comprised overwhelmingly of liberal, pro-big government Democrats, that has taxed and regulated the hard-working people of Massachusetts to the point of physically fleeing the state, had absolutely no part in any of that.


In Reilly's defense, I'll say this. He does have a somewhat valid point. When he becomes governor, the population of Massachusetts is guaranteed to skyrocket. Granted, all the people moving into the state at that time will be illegal aliens and non-tax-paying welfare recipients, but why let yourself get bogged down with minor technicalities like that when you've got voters to bullshit.

I predict any future Reilly governorship would be a short-lived one, however.

Once the illegal aliens realize that "Team DiRT" (DiMasi, Reilly, Travaglini) will give them anything they want by way of government handouts, all at the expense of the taxpayers who haven't moved out-of-state yet, it won't be long before they start demanding the right to purchase and carry firearms.

Words of advice: Be sure you're out of the blast radius when Reilly's head explodes as a direct result of that moral quandary. You wouldn't want to get what little gray matter there might be in there on you.

Ever try washing brain out of suede?

Let The Vote Buying Begin

Anyone think it's a coincidence that this "breaking news" appeared on within hours of Tom "I Love State-Regulated Car Insurance and Those Who Regulate It" Reilly announcing his candidacy for governor?

BREAKING NEWS: The auto insurance rate in Mass. is being cut by 8.7 percent, which will translate into an average savings of just over $95 per year for motorists, according to the Associated Press. It's the largest auto insurance rate cut in 25 years.

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Blaming New Hampshire Criminals

From the Boston Globe:

A QUADRUPLE HOMICIDE in Dorchester Tuesday appalled residents and rocked an already-teetering Boston Police Department. The city's murder toll now stands at 71, the highest since 1995, and law enforcement officials appear incapable of getting a firm grip on the situation.

Efforts by the Boston police to develop useful intelligence on gang activity and revive crime-fighting partnerships with state and federal law enforcement agencies are not bearing fruit. The information that reaches City Hall and the public is often vague or out-of-date. For example, much has been said by police of late about the flow of weapons from New Hampshire gun dealers to criminals in Boston. But police now believe that home burglaries of licensed weapons may be responsible for the flood of guns.

What? You mean to tell me Mayor "Blame Montpelier" Menino has no friggin' clue what he's talking about? I'm absolutely shocked! I honestly don't know how my fragile eggshell fantasy world will ever handle such a devastating blow.

On a related note, should the day ever come where my house is burglarized during the day and my handgun stolen and used in to murder some 15-year-old in Dorchester, we can all thank Mayor Menino and Police Commissioner O'Toole for requiring me to keep my gun out of my direct control when I leave my private property.

How do you spell "common sense"?

(Non-)Breaking (Non-)News

In the least shocking, and most anticipated news development of the last century, Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney announced last night that he will not be seeking re-election in November.

If you didn't see this coming from a million fucking miles away, you haven't been paying attention.

So, what's next for the Commonwealth? Governor Kerry Healey (down, Jay)? Tom Reilly? Deval Patrick?

If there's one thing I can guarantee you, it's this. None of them - especially that vile, statist prick Reilly - will be my next governor.

File Under "No Other State ___________"

When they're not busy debating the pros and cons of mandating the use of paper toilet seat covers in the Commonwealth, the Massachusetts General Court is hard at work, tackling other important issues of the day, such as changing the rules of sporting activities through "common-sense" legislation.

Soccer Helmet Bill Kicked Around On Beacon Hill

Helmets for soccer players?

A bill being heard on Beacon Hill Wednesday would make it the law in Massachusetts.

Inmate #1: What are you in for?
Inmate #2: You don't wanna know.

The Boston Globe says the original bill called for a ban on heading, but was changed to require helmets instead.

Why not reduce the number of foot injuries by banning the use of feet in soccer?

Supporters of the bill say helmets would also protect players from head injuries suffered in collisions with other players, or with goalposts.

Ban goalposts!

But why stop there? Let's ban going outside altogether. It would dramatically reduce the rate of fatal skin cancer in the Commonwealth caused by over-exposure to sunlight - not to mention meteorite fatalities.

And sharp pointy things like pencils and toothpicks? Don't get me started!

And this closing paragraph is sure to shock you.

No other state has such a law.

Yes, but then again, no other state is as "progressive" as Massachusetts.

I need a drink.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Tonight at 11:00


On Channel 7 News (WHDH TV - Boston)

Weapons on the Web

They're illegal, dangerous and easy to buy, and these deadly weapons are making their way into the hands of criminals. We go undercover to expose easy access to "Weapons on the Web"

"Weapons on the Web," tonight at 11 p.m. on 7 News.

Be sure to have your fearmonger-o-meters properly calibrated and zeroed prior to airtime. You wouldn't want to get any erroneous readings.

Bear in mind, that in the "progressive" paradise of Massachusetts, this deadly weapon (formerly available at Toys R' Us for $4.99) is "illegal".

Attorney General Tom Reilly says so.

Home Page > Consumer Protection > Consumer Advisories > December 30, 2003



Consumers Should Return Item to Store for Refund

Attorney General Tom Reilly is urging any Massachusetts consumers who purchased a dangerous slingshot "toy," the Supremo Slingshot, at any Toys "R" Us store to return the item for a full refund. The national retailer removed the toy from its shelves after AG Reilly's Office contacted the company with concerns about the product, which falls under the state's prohibited weapons statute.


UPDATE: Gee, that was some hard-hitting, informative journalism.


The piece started out by recounting the story of 22-year-old Susannah Richardson who was attacked in October on her way home one night by a man with a stun gun. They then showed their reporter going on-line to purchase a stun gun and have it shipped to a Massachusetts address. Their whole point was to show how easy it is to obtain stun guns and switchblades over the internet.

You know what else is "easy" to do?

Driving through Downtown Crossing at noontime, running over every pedestrian you see.

Dropping bowling balls off of highway overpasses onto unsuspecting motorists below.

Soaking an occupied house with gasoline and setting it on fire, killing everyone inside.

Just like buying a stun gun on-line, all these acts are "easy" to do.

Now, what do they all have in common? They all involve the use of "legal" items, but require that a conscious decision be made by an individual bent on violating the law and bringing harm to others.

Gee, it's almost as though it's the criminals who are causing the crime in our communities. Who knew?

I wonder if the folks at Channel 7 would have felt better had Ms. Richardson been attacked by a thug carrying a hammer. Or a rock, maybe.

As I said over at Derek's place yesterday:

You want readily available deadly weapons? Try walking through your local Home Depot.

Chain saws
Saw blades
Pipe Wrenches
(insert your favorite hand or power tool here)

You think the "concerned" news media would care more about these deadly weapons that can be purchased by anyone with cash in hand, no license, no waiting period, no age limit, and no credit card required.

You know...for the children, and all.

OK, I'm a Dumbass

It sure looked like windshield fluid at the time.

Local Politician Wants Me Locked Up


From the land of "the most effective gun control laws in the nation" comes this startling (not) front-page story.

4 slain in Dorchester house

Four people were shot dead in a startling attack inside the basement of a Dorchester house last night.

I guess it all depends on your definition of the word "effective".

It appeared to be Boston's deadliest shooting since the execution-style murder of five people in an underground Chinatown gambling parlor in 1991.

Boston Police Superintendent Bobbie Johnson said the shooting occurred shortly before 10 p.m. on Bourneside Street, which is near Fields Corner. Police who responded found four men in their late teens to early 20s. Three were dead. The fourth, a 21-year-old suffering from multiple gunshot wounds, was taken to Boston Medical Center, where he was later pronounced dead, according to police.

Police stressed that the gunfire erupted inside the home and that the attack did not appear random. Police said they received preliminary reports of a heavy-set male leaving the house after the shooting, but said they didn't have enough details to put out a description.


"I'd like to reiterate that this incident happened in the basement, not outside," Johnson told reporters at the scene late last night. "Even if we had had 100 cops on the beat, we wouldn't have been able to prevent it."

But another dozen or so gun control laws would have done the trick, right?

Senator Barrios? Representative Toomey? Linsky? Anyone?

If increased police presence was all that was required to curb the violent crime rate in the city, the Dudley Square MBTA bus station would be the safest hangout in town.

Boston City Councilor Maureen Feeney was on the radio this morning blaming this latest multiple homicide on (quel surprise) the gun used in the shooting - not the piece of shit who actually pulled the trigger. Yes, Maureen, it was all the gun's fault.

You have got to stop cutting the pills in half, sweetheart.

She followed that comment up with one torn right from the pages of the Rosie O'Donnell playbook, saying that anyone in the City of Boston should be thrown in jail. WRKO talk show host, Scott Allen Miller, gave her a chance to clarify her position.

Miller: I gotta back up to something you just said, though. Are you saying that anyone...who possesses a gun in Boston should be...should be locked up?

Feeney: Yes. I am.

Like I said, sweety, take the whole pill.

OK, maybe I'll give her the benefit of the doubt, and conclude that she was referring to the illegal possession of firearms in the city. It can be hard to get your point across clearly on a short radio interview conducted over the phone. But the fact that she made only a passing reference to the lawless scumbag who actually pulled the trigger was quite telling.

UPDATE: The Boston Herald has the audio of Scott Allen Miller's (WRKO) interview this morning with City Councilor Maureen Feeney here.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Our Tax Dollars (Once Again) Hard at Work

As if it wasn't bad enough having the government dictate to you when, what and where you could eat,drink, and smoke - now they want to start regulating what goes on at the other end, so to speak.

"To sit or not to sit?" is the question one MetroWest lawmaker wants to help public bathroom users across the state answer.

A bill that would require paper toilet seat covers in all public bathrooms in Massachusetts will be weighed by the joint Public Health Committee tomorrow.

I'd like to say I was surprised to read of such a proposal coming from the venerable halls of wisdom and common sense up on Beacon Hill, but who would I be kidding?

So, what exactly does state Rep. Kay Khan of Newton, the sponsor of this latest turd of nanny-state legislation to bob up to the surface, have to say on the matter?

"And who knows how things get transmitted....You just don’t know with all the diseases going around these days."

We don't? Wouldn't you think that if there was even the slightest hint of evidence that diseases were being spread around by toilet seats, we would have heard something of it by now. And, isn't one of the very cornerstones of AIDS education the debunking of the myth that the HIV virus can be passed on from a toilet seat?

Khan, who filed the bill at the request of a now deceased constituent, admitted not knowing details about what the paper covers would cost facility owners and renters...

As if she and the rest of our dedicated solons on Beacon Hill have ever let pesky little details like costs borne by the public deter them from imposing their benevolence and wisdom on us commoners.

...or if sitting directly on dirty toilet seats poses any medical risks.

Solving non-existent problems through meaningless, costly, time-consuming legislation - Welcome to Massachusetts.

The state has no regulations now regarding the paper covers, said state Department of Public Health spokeswoman Donna Rheaume.

AAAGGHH!!! Head for the hills!Unregulated toilet seats! We're all gonna DIE!!! Oh, the humanity! Won't SOMEBODY think of the CHILDREN???

No doctors or health professionals were available yesterday afternoon to comment on health risks associated with sitting directly on toilet seats.

Seeing as this is the same group of folks who turn to the scholarly insight of Rosie O'Donnell and the weapons expertise of Jarrett "Poncherello" Barrios to draw inspiration for new and creative firearms legislation, I wouldn't expect commentary from "doctors or health professionals" to enter this equation anytime soon.

Idiots in the News

A licensed gun owner in South Boston has had his guns seized by the police. Though, I'm having a hard time drumming up any sympathy for him. After being involved in a NEAR collision with another driver, this rocket scientist allegedly decided to follow the guy home, allegedly aimed a rifle at him and his friends, and allegedly pulled the trigger.

A couple of notes concerning the local news reporting of this incident. Read the Boston Globe's account of what transpired and you'd think State Senator Jarrett Barrios , upon reading this, was dancing around in his PJ's like an 8-year-old kid unwrapping a new bike on Christmas morning. At long last, an evil .50-caliber rifle, the possession of which - by us mortal commoners - he's been tirelessly trying to outlaw, has actually been used in the commission of a crime in Massachusetts!

Ziad Abdul and two friends were planning their night's entertainment when a minor traffic dispute ended in a fearful confrontation with a South Boston man who allegedly pointed a rifle at them and pulled the trigger, said Abdul and Boston police.

"It was scary," Abdul said of the moment when John S. Donoghue Jr. allegedly pointed the .50-caliber rifle at him and two others, Abdul's cousin and a longtime friend. "He pointed a gun at us. ... Then he pulled the trigger. Once."

Wow! I hear those things can shoot down telecommunications satellites!

well, not exactly. As the Boston Herald informs us.

Southie'’s version of Daniel Boone, minus the coonskin cap, got mad as a rooster in an empty henhouse following a near-collision with another driver.

But John Law came looking for him after he tailed the other driver to the Harbor Point Development, aimed a muzzleloading .50-caliber rifle at the man and pulled the trigger, police said.

Fortunately, the road-rage throwback had not poured any black powder down his barrel.

Not that this in any way excuses the actions of this imbecile, but I thought it worthwhile to compare the two reports side by side.

Of course, his lawyer says none of this happened as written in the papers. That's hardly relevant, as far as the city is concerned. Mr. Donoghue can kiss his License to Carry (and his personal property) good-bye. He could be cleared of all charges, and itwouldn't make a lick of a difference. Just having your name appear anywhere in a police report is sufficient cause in this town to have your constitutional rights permanently revoked.

Other notable bits:

"I messed up," Donoghue is quoted in a police report as having said. "I thought just words would be exchanged, and I would leave."

I'd say he's being quite generous using the word "thought" there.

Police said they will retain the handguns and rifles if Donoghue's permit is terminated.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that would be in violation of the law that allows for people whose licenses are revoked the opportunity to sell or transfer their firearms to a third party legally permitted to take possession of them. Not that the laws of the Commonwealth have ever stopped the City of Boston from violating the rights of gun owners in the past, mind you.

Enough Already

Clarence can jam that new saxophone up his ass for all I care. If I have to listen to that song one more time...

As Bad As Things Are Here....

...things could always be worse.

We could be Great Britain, for example, where it's not t-shirts, foliage, or tourists that are causing the crime in the streets.

It's armed police officers.

READING, England -- During his training to become a British police officer, Ben Johnson recalled, an instructor told him and other recruits, "If you ever see somebody carrying a gun, turn and run away as quickly as possible."

Would you like some cheese with your surrender? And, they wonder why violent crime is on the rise over there.

"It was a bizarre situation," said Johnson, 34, a former police officer in Garland, Texas, and US Army soldier who moved here with his British wife three years ago and became this country's first non-British police officer. He said running from trouble was exactly the opposite of what he learned as an American police officer.

Now Johnson is publicly challenging one of the great traditions of law enforcement in Britain, what he calls the "old-fashioned idea of the unarmed bobby on the beat."

He has written to his chief asking for permission to carry a gun, arguing that Britain is no longer safe for unarmed and undertrained police officers. He says he will resign if the chief refuses.

Johnson's case has caused a media furor here, partly because an American is saying he feels less safe as a police officer in Britain than he did on the beat in the United States, which is routinely portrayed here as a gun-drunk Wild West.

But Johnson has also reignited a debate about whether more British police should carry guns in an era of terrorism and increasing violent crime. His supporters argue that British police need guns to protect themselves, but opponents suggest it would just lead to more gun crime.

So, by applying their version of logical thought (and I use both those words very loosely here), they could abolish the police force altogether and watch their crime rate drop to zero. It's the perfect plan! What's taking them so long? Sounds more than reasonable to me.

"The UK is changing rapidly, and the police have been slow to adapt," said Johnson, 6-foot-4 and thin, cradling his infant daughter in his lap in the dining room of his neat row house. "We should value the lives of police officers enough to properly equip them and train them to do the job -- even if that means getting rid of some old-fashioned notions."

While you're at it, try valuing the lives of your ordinary citizens. I know that's asking quite a lot, but as I keep telling my daughters when presenting them with a new food at dinnertime - try it, you might like it.[/pipedream]

Monday, December 12, 2005

It's D-Day

Demolition day, that is.

I'm taking the morning off to meet with our contractor who will be renovating our downstairs apartment. The kitchen and bathroom will be gutted today, and the tub and tile installation will be underway shortly thereafter.

New kitchen cabinets have been ordered, and will be here in three to five weeks.

Hopefully, all the work involved with converting these units to condominiums will be complete by the end of February, and the units will hit the market in March. I'll try to put up some "Before and After" pics, if you all are interested in that kind of stuff.

I can almost taste the freedom.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Photo Album Flashbacks - vol. 2

Set the Wayback Machine to December 1998, Sherman.

Downstairs at The Middle East in Cambridge for the Mighty Mighty Bosstones' "Hometown Throwdown".

Your favorite blogger striking a most charming pose with Bosstones' frontman, Dicky Barrett...

...and with Julie Kramer (then with WFNX) wearing the now-infamous "Hot Rod Tuxedo" (at least the jacket, anyway) given to me on-stage by Dicky that night.

Yes, the suit is still hanging up in my closet.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Why Just Christmas Time?

It's not like Paris Hilton only comes once a year.

A Good Sign

So, I met with our contractor last night to sign the contract for the renovation work we're having done prior to the condo conversion planned for our two-family house (significantly more $$$ for us when we sell). Part of our arrangement is that I will be buying all the cabinets, fixtures, flooring, tile, and appliances, and he will be providing the labor for installation, as well as any associated plumbing and electrical work.

I told him I'd probably be making at least one run up to a Sears, Lowe's or Home Depot in New Hampshire with the Odyssey to load up on tax-free goods. He told me he's got customers in Rhode Island (7% sales tax!) who do the same thing, only they drive into Massachusetts to save on the sales tax. Now, there's a wild concept for you.

Anyway, the subject turned to how unfriendly Massachusetts is toward anyone who actually works (shudder) for a living. He told me what a costly pain in the ass it is to get licensed as a general contractor in this state. You can guess where this conversation went.

Turns out he's been a licensed gun owner in the Commonwealth for close to 20 years now. He had questions concerning the legal technicalities of carrying with or without a Class A license, and I was more than happy to further enlighten him on the subject. It really helped soften the blow of writing a sizeable check to someone I had met only a couple weeks prior.

Now, if I'm hiring someone to work on my house, and thereby be in close vicinity to my wife and children on a near-daily basis, I could hardly think of a better character reference than a Massachusetts-issued gun permit.

Please Update Your Scorecard

For those of you keeping score at home (as you all damn well should be):

Devices used to inject heroin - GOOD.

Devices used to ingest alcohol - BAD.

First potato chips without fat, next carb-free cookies.

Now you can inhale your liquor.

But Massachusetts officials aren'’t toasting the "“AWOL"” machine that lets hang-over weary and carb-conscious patrons suck on a tube and inhale boooze for a purportedly "“euphoric"” high.

Two Bay State lawmakers and at least one town want to ban "“vaporized"” alcohol before Massachusetts even gets addicted.

Alcohol With Out Liquid machines sell for $300 online and work like this:

You suck on an inhaler -— connected by a tube to the machine -— for 20 minutes and breathe oxygen and vaporized booze. The spirits enter your bloodstream through your lungs, instead of your digestive system, and AWOL'’s maker claims it won'’t give you a hangover and it'’s low-cal.

But, I thought we, as a nation, were facing a deadly obesity epidemic. This is just the kind of thing the "We Know What's Best For You" brigade (aka: the Massachusetts General Court) should be welcoming to the Commonwealth with open arms.

Seriously, what's next? Shot glasses? Plastic funnels and vinyl tubing? Those oh-so-suave hard hats with the beer can holders and plastic tubing on the side?

[insert your own Ted Kennedy joke here]


Property taxes rise 9.2% in city

Property taxes in Boston are set to rise for the fourth straight year, city officials said yesterday, increasing the average single-family homeowner's tax bill to $2,750.

And the Globe thinks this is news?

File Under: Things Could Always Be Worse

Woman allegedly bites off beau's fingertip

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Student in Hot Water Over Clan Attire

Don't hold your breath waiting for the ACLU to rally behind Missouri high school senior Nathan Warmack, who was asked to change out of what his principal had deemed to be inappropriate attire for a formal dance.

CAPE GIRARDEAU (AP) - Members of a Scottish group are calling for a high school principal to apologize to a student who was asked to change out of the kilt he wore to a formal dance.

On the other hand, were he to claim to be an illegal alien transvestite...

It Was 25 Years Ago Today

John Lennon
1940 - 1980

Quote of the Day

Dumbass Edition

I don't have a link to the video, nor a transcript of this brilliant bit of reporting from a New England Cable News (NECN) reporter from last nights News at 9:00, and I was in the other room at the time she said this. But, I wrote it down as soon as I heard it, so I wouldn't get it wrong.

On their segment on yesterday's shooting incident at the Miami Airport last night, she said this during a discussion of the Federal Air Marshal program:

"...and, as we learned today, their weapons are loaded."

No additional commentary required.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

How It's Done

I'm hearing news updates on the radio reporting that this idiot is now an ex-idiot.

MIAMI, Florida (CNN) -- Federal air marshals shot and wounded a man on a boarding bridge at Miami International Airport after he said he had a bomb, federal officials told CNN.

Based on what I've heard, it would appear to be a textbook takedown. Get ready now for the interviews from the family of the deceased describing what a nice, young man he was. Or how he had recently stopped taking his medication, or that he was acting out of desperation brought on by the racist economic policies of the Bush/Rove cabal, or ________ [insert sob story of your choosing here].

I'm telling you, the entertainment portion of this story has just begun.

UPDATE: Apparently, the ex-idiot in question was a 44-year-old American citizen - emphasis on "was".

Headline of the Day

Courtesy of the Boston Globe:

Santa imposter allegedly drops trousers at mall

Let me get this straight. It wasn't the real Santa? It was just some imposter dressed like Santa?

Phew, I'm glad they cleared that up.

I would have been up all night on Christmas Eve with a .45 trained on the front door, in the event that bastard tried getting into my house.

"Hold it right there! That's close enough, Santa! I know all about that mall incident in New Hampshire from a couple weeks ago. So, just put the presents on the porch, keep your hands where I can see 'em, and back away slowly!"

Speaking of Fleeing Boston

Via CNN Money:

In Massachusetts, a quarter of the people in the state said they would leave if they had the opportunity, according to a poll by MassINC, a non-profit public policy think tank. They would join some 170,000 Bay Staters who left for other parts of the United States between 2000 and 2004.

[insert sarcastic "Gee, I'm stunned." comment, or equivalent, here]

The No. 1 reason cited by those who want to leave: The high cost of living.


And the No. 1 area needing major improvement: Housing affordability.

OK, this one's always puzzled me - the need to "improve" housing affordability. The same people who are now calling for the government to come in and provide more affordable housing in Boston are, for the most part, the same ones who, years ago, were calling for the government to come in and help clean up their dilapidated neighborhoods. And what happened then?

The neighborhods got cleaned up.

The crime rate went down (for a while anyway).

More people wanted to move into these neighborhoods as a result.

Number of available housing units decreased.

Real estate prices went up.

That free market's a bitch, eh?

That said, we could bring back "affordable" housing in a matter of months. It wouldn't be all that difficult.

Just re-open all the crack houses, dump the garbage back in the gutters, and put the graffiti back up in some of these recently improved neighborhoods. The illegal drug trade will flourish once again. Crime will go up. The quality of life will go down. People will move out in droves, returning control of the streets to the criminals and bums.

Or, if you want to do it over a slightly longer period of time, don't change a thing. Just continue the current game plan of taxing the "rich" (aka: anyone with a job) into extinction.

Given the nation's most liberal welfare program, state-controlled auto insurance rates that extort money from the good drivers to subsidize the bad drivers' insurance coverage, a legislature that just tried as hard as they could to levy an illegal retroactive tax hike on its citizens, and city councilors who want to charge you a tax for the "privilege" of driving into Boston, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand that, eventually currently, a large number of people will find are finding it unacceptable to live in (and fund) such a "progressive" paradise, pull pulling up the tent stakes, and make making a beeline for the New Hampshire border.

In either scenario, the number of available housing units in these neighborhoods will increase dramatically as a result, causing selling prices to drop accordingly.

Presto! Affordable housing.

Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.

(CNN link via Countertop)

Fleeing Boston

No, this is not another post about me making plans to move out of Boston in as expedient a manner as possible. It's about everybody getting out of Boston, all at once.

Boston Mayor Tom Menino has unveiled the city's official emergency preparedness plan, designed to facilitate the evacuation of the city in the event of a major emergency.

Anyone ever try to get out of Boston on Friday afternoon of Memorial Day weekend?

Now imagine having to do that with 50 times the volume of cars on the highway, all being driven by people in full-blown panic mode.

Officials also began mailing a brochure detailing the evacuation plan to all of the city's 280,000 households. The brochure has been translated into Spanish and includes a map of the evacuation routes. A new city website,, will offer the same information translated into six languages, Menino said.

Whatever you do, folks, don't lose that brochure. You're going to need something to wipe your ass with when you're forced to take a dump amongst the stalled cars on Storrow Drive.