Wednesday, October 18, 2006

One More Nail in the Coffin


Attleboro School Bans Tag, Other Recess Games

Children at the Willett Elementary School in Attleboro are not allowed to play tag, touch football or any games involving contact during recess.

Yes, children are now forbidden to act like children. It's FOR THE CHILDRENTM, you understand.

Prinicpal Gaylene Heppe cited the safety risks and the school's liability in case of injury as reasons for the recess ban. Heppe, who is in her second year as principal, told CBS4 the ban is not new and has been in effect for years.

I honestly don't know if there's anything that could better encapsulate the "Massachusetts Mentality" than the phrase, "recess ban". I'm nearly speechless.

The Attleboro Sun Chronicle reports elementary schools in Cheyenne, Wyo. and Spokane, Wash. banned tag at recess this year. A suburban Charleston, S.C. school also outlawed all unsupervised contact sports.

Principal Heppe said she isn't interested in any trends around the country, her concern lies with keeping the children as safe as possible.

"OK, kids, it's recess time. Put on your nerf suits, crash helmets, and mosquito netting. And, remember, once you reach the playground, NO MOVING!"

UPDATE: How sad is this?

Another Willett parent, Celeste D'Elia, said her son feels safer because of the rule. "I've witnessed enough near collisions," she said.

Not any actual collisions, mind you, resulting in broken bones, bloody noses, or even a scraped knee or two. She's witnessed actual "near collisions".

Sweet smoking Jesus!!!

Children actually running around and playing in near proximity to one another!!! At playtime!!!

AAAGGHHH!!!! We're all doomed!!!