T.G.I.F.

Here's a MGCSS/DHBA triple-shot to help you get an early jump on your weekend reading.

First up, a couple items out of Worcester, where the chief of police chief has, for all intents and purposes, unilaterally ceased issuing Worcester residents firearms licenses.

And, boy, it's a good thing this guy didn't have a gun. Otherwise, these innocent children might have had to witness him shooting some worthless sack-o'-shit criminal scuzball. As it was, they only had to watch said scuzball shoot the guy in the neck.

WORCESTER, Mass. -- A man was shot and wounded in the neck in front of two children during a home invasion in Worcester.

Gun Control - it's For the Children^TM.

Then there's this story of one Mr. Oscar Machicote. It seems Mr. Machicote, a convicted felon, was arrested in Worcester for (surprise!) possessing a handgun. Hey, wait a second! I believe that would be against the law.

The Indictment charges that on November 23, 2004, MACHICOTE, a previously convicted felon, was found in Worcester to be in possession of a Colt .45 caliber pistol. Federal law prohibits individuals previously convicted of a federal or state felony from possessing firearms or ammunition.

If convicted, MACHICOTE faces a mandatory minimum sentence of 15 years in prison up to a maximum of life, and a $250,000 fine.

And, to top that off, that Colt .45 isn't on Attorney General Reilly's roster of firearms approved for sale in Massachusetts. Oh boy, Oscar's in big trouble now! Oh, wait, that list only applies to the most responsible, law-abiding citizens of the Commonwealth. I keep forgetting. My bad.

Meanwhile, sur La Rive Gauche:

Sept. 14, 10:30 p.m., a resident reported being approached on Vassal Lane by a black male, 14 to 16 years old, 5 feet, 7 inches, short hair, long orange shirt and jeans, who asked for directions and then pulled out a small handgun and demanded her purse. He fled with the purse toward Fayerweather Street.

11 p.m., a woman reported being approached by a male and female while at Cedar and Harvey streets. The female, described to be white, in her 20s, 5 feet, 7 inches, 150 pounds, dark hair, dark T-shirt and dark jeans, asked the woman for the time while the male, described to be black, in his 20s, 5 feet, 7 inches, dark clothes, produced what looked like a handgun. Both suspects demanded money and fled up the street with the victim's purse.

Sept. 15, 12:05 p.m., an employee of 1369 Coffee House in Inman Square reported that a Hispanic male, in his 20s, 5 feet 8 inches, 155 pounds, wearing a black hoodie, Red Sox hat, dark black baggy pants and a bandana over his face, displayed a handgun and demanded money before fleeing with $800.

Sept. 17, an employee of Sandy's Market, 1295 Cambridge St., reported a suspect walked into the store, pointed a long, silver barrel gun at him and said, "Give me your money." The suspect is described as a white male, 5 feet, 9 inches, 160 pounds, wearing a ski mask and stocking over his face. He fled with money.

HA! You see! No one in these reports was actually killed - therefore gun control works! Hooray!!!