Sunday, January 21, 2007

Pre-Flight Checklist

Ample quantity of adult beverage?


"Hint of Lime" Tostitos?




Brady jersey?


National Anthem underway.


Please fasten your seatbelts and return your tray to the full upright position. We'll be taking off shortly.

>>> PHEW! Addai just dropped a big one. Colts to punt.

>>> Apparently, Jay-Z is back. And he drinks Bud. Uh-huh.

>>> Faulk's two inches short on 3rd down. I smell QB-sneak.

>>> Or a 35-yard run by Corey Dillon. Whatever.

>>> HOLY SHIT! I think I just swallowed by tongue. TOUCHDOWN PATRIOTS! 7-0! 7:24 to go in the first quarter.

>>> Colts in New England territory, seem to be moving the ball well.

>>> Holding called against the Colts. I can live with that.

>>> Colts on the board with a Vinatieri field goal. 7-3 Pats.

>>> OK, the first quarter's in the can. So far, so good. Time to put the kids to bed.

>>> 4th and 6. Pats might be going for it.


>>> And Dillon walks it in. 14-3 Patriots!

>>> Manning picked! Have I mentioned how much I love Assante Samuel? 21-3 Pats!

>>> Hey, I know. Let's give Brady, like, five or six minutes to dance around in the pocket. What's the worse that could happen?

>>> Brady sacked at midfield. That was somewhat less than optimal.

>>> Ben Affleck and Alicia Keys? Together in the same movie? Pinch me, I must be dreaming!

>>> Back-to-back first downs for the Colts. First and goal to go with under a minute to play in the half. Plenty of time for Manning to cough up the ball.

>>> Fourth and goal. No penalty on the flag. Ha-ha.

>>> A.V. good for three. 21-6 Pats.

>>> OK...second half underway. Colts driving.

>>> OK, they're at midfield. That's far enough. Shut 'em down, boys.

>>> Big third down here. 3rd and 5 on the NE 33...

First down Colts at the 21...motherfucker.

>>> First and goal...

>>> TD Indianapolis. It's 21-12..heh heh.[/rushgeek]

>>> OK...we've got an 8-point lead with an assload of football left to play. Gotta turn it up.

>>> Three and out. WTF?

>>> Colts driving again, to the NE 32.

>>> Pass interference in the end zone! Fuck.

(Indy scored 8 points here. It's getting harder to keep up, the more Long Trails I put away)

>>> First and goal at the five. That's more like it.

>>> Coach's Challenge on the NE touchdown.


>>> And...right back at 'em. Game tied at 28.

>>> Three and out. Our defense is running on fumes. This does not bode well.

Then again, there's still plenty of time for Manning to be Manning.

>>> OK, I'm undecided. Do I buy the car that can drive on two wheels on the ledge of a building twelve stories up? Or the Honda that doubles as a massive popcorn popper?

>>> Indy goes three-and-out. About fucking time.

>>> Yeah...if you stick your fingers in the other guy's facemask, and remove his helmet, you're gonna get called on it.

BIG break for the Pats!

>>> Pats (burrrp) to the 27!

>>> First and 15 after the penalty...

Caldwell drops a gimme!

>>> Pats settle for three, take the lead, 31-28.

>>> OK...we need to shut 'em down. This time I mean it.

>>> OK, the 52-yard pass and run play wasn't exactly what I had in mind.

>>> And Vinatieri boots it through (surprise, surprise) for the game-tying field goal.

>>> Daniel Graham with a helluva catch! Pats to the Colts 29.

>>> Big 3rd and 10 coming up...


...not too much there. Field goal unit coming out.

>>> And Gojkoikwshgyt nails it!

>>> At 65 points, the over's looking pretty good.

>>> BIG third down coming up.

>>> Pats hold! Indy punts! Patriots have the ball at their own 40, with 3:22 on the clock. Oops, make that the 35-yard line. Twelve guys on the field.

>>> 2:17 to go. Colts with the ball on the 20, one timeout left. I need a drink.


Colts to the NE 36.

>>> Uh oh...roughing the passer against the Patriots. Colts have 1st and goal.

>>> Make that 1st and 10. Now 2nd and 6. Now 3rd and 2. Where'd I put that drink?

>>> OK...that sucked.

Brady with 0:54 on the clock needs to go 80 yards for the win.

>>> Or not.

Good night.