Friday, May 04, 2007

Dumbasses of the Day

Meet Stephen Foti and Michael Saulnier, a couple of small-time dirtbags, and prison inmates, who thought this would be a smart move...

BRENTWOOD, N.H. -- Two New Hampshire inmates who police said walked away from a work program on Thursday were back in custody Friday.

Police said Stephen Foti and Michael Saulnier, both 21, stole a car from the Rockingham County Nursing Home, where they were working as part of a program with the Rockingham County Jail.

Now, I can understand the reasoning behind such an escape plan for someone facing, say, 30 to 50 years in the joint. But, these numbnuts were so far removed from the "nothing left to lose" category, it's laughable.

Foti and Saulnier were arraigned Friday on charges of escape. Foti had four months left on his sentence, and Saulnier had 10 months left. Police said the new felony charges could carry sentences of three to seven years in prison.

I don't care who you are...that's funny.

So, what did their escape plan entail, exactly?

Apparently, once they were able to procure a getaway vehicle, they made a bee-line for Massachusetts. A much smarter strategy, actually, than simply taking off through the woods across the street from the nursing home. They'd have likely turned up in my back yard.

"Honey! There's a couple kids walking out of the woods with 'Rockingham County Jail' stenciled across their green shirts and matching pants. Do you want me to get you the Remington or the .45?"