Sunday, July 06, 2008

All This Can Be Yours For Only $169 a Night!

Planning a trip to the White Mountains region of New Hampshire this summer for a little rest and relaxation?

Well, if you're thinking of booking a cottage (cottage #8, specifically) at Sky Valley Motel & Cottages in Bartlett, I hope you like "rustic". And, I hope your definition of "rustic" includes the following phrases:

- Floor lamp in the kids' room held together with drywall screws, L-brackets, and electrical tape.
- Bedside table lamp in the kids' room not held together with an old, dried-up piece of duct tape.
- A bathtub faucet that gurgles incessantly, because it can't be turned off.
- Electrical outlets without cover plates.
- Smashed up baseboard heaters (OK, this one's not that big of a deal in the summer).
- Rusty, old stovetops with knobs that keep popping off.

(click to enlargify)

I tried to take picture of the stench of stale cigarette smoke that greets you in the main office as you make your way back to the Poolside Cafe, but it wouldn't photograph well.

Neither would the fleas* that we saw in the bathtub as we were packing up, or the non-existent electrical outlet in the phonebooth-sized bathroom.

Needless to say, we won't be returning anytime soon.

*OK, I'm not sure they were fleas, but they were tiny, little, jumping insects. And, I prefer my bathtubs tiny, little, jumping insects-free. I'm finicky like that.

UPDATE: My bad. Make that $199 a night.