Thursday, January 29, 2009

This Just In!

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg is still a tyrannical, nanny-statist loser.

Mayor Bloomberg Declares War On ... Salt

Singer Jimmy Buffett will never find his "lost shaker of salt" in New York City or any other place in the country if Mayor Michael Bloomberg has his way. The mayor is waging a war on salt and he wants food manufacturers and restaurants to join his army … or else.


The city's plan is to get food manufacturers in the United States to agree to gradually start reducing salt content until it reaches a 50 percent cut in 10 years.

Up next, mandatory registration for bowel evacuation time slots (make check payable to New York City Rectum Enforcement Squad), so that the flushing of city toilets can be spaced out evenly throughout the day.

Note: This new policy will, in fact, serve no practical purpose, and have zero tangible benefit to the city, but someone on the Mayor's staff just recently informed His Royal Highness that there are currently no regulations in place, whatsoever, that tell the residents and visitors of New York City when they are, and are not, allowed to take a dump.

Seriously, is this guy not the biggest asshole of a control freak walking the planet right now? WHERE DOES IT F***ING END WITH THESE PEOPLE???

Thomas Frieden, the city's health commissioner, said he wants manufacturers and restaurants to join the war on salt voluntarily. If they don't, the city could pass legislation making it the law.

Ah, yes, the new "progressive" definition of "voluntarily".

F*** every last one of these useless dung rockets.

"Welcome to New York City! Here's your lunch order: one pre-cut (no unlicensed knives allowed) slab of unleavened, unsalted, sugarless, fat-free, gluten-free, vegan bread and a plastic sippy cup (glass kills) of soy milk. Better eat quick, though, if you want to make that 3:00 PM Broadway show and make it back to your hotel room in time for bedcheck."

Have I mentioned what a major, flaming ball of ass this guy is?

I'm ashamed to share the same biological classification as this piece of shit. Just knowing that we even have that in common makes me want to puke my f***ing spleen out.

Now, ask me how I really feel.