Monday, February 28, 2005

Bicycle Control Now!

Well, it was that or Fetchez la Schwinn!

17-Year-Old To Face Charges

POSTED: 12:33 pm EST February 28, 2005

BOSTON -- A 17-year-old Acton, Mass., man was arrested after he allegedly threw a 10-speed bicycle off the roof of a three-story apartment building, hitting and seriously injuring a woman on the sidewalk below.

At least it wasn't one of those 21-speed "assault" bicycles.

Justin E. Towne was charged with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon following the incident early Saturday morning. Towne was expected to be arraigned Monday.

David Procopio, a spokesman for Suffolk District Attorney Dan Conley, said the woman's boyfriend told police that the couple was walking in front of an apartment building on Allston Street at about 1:25 a.m. Saturday when a beer can came down from the roof, hitting his girlfriend. The man said a bicycle then fell from the roof, striking his 24-year-old girlfriend in the head and knocking her to the sidewalk.

Seriously, what the freakin' hell is wrong with some people today? I have consumed a LOT of beer over the last 20+ years, and done some pretty stupid stuff, but not once did I ever say to myself, "Hey, you know what I feel like doing? Hucking a bike off the roof at someone. Man, how cool would that be?"

And what's with the A&B charge? Screw that. I'd hit the little bastard with attempted murder and let his lawyer plea-bargain down to felony assault and battery. No trial required. Five years. Too bad. So sad. Bye bye. End of story.