Thursday, April 21, 2005

Ticket to Ride

The Boston Herald has this rather disheartening update on yesterday's story about the thousands of dollars in unpaid parking tickets being racked up by city hacks employees.

City workers' tickets could be uncollectable

Thousands of dollars worth of tickets slapped on city vehicles may go forever unpaid as fuming officials scramble to find employees responsible for racking up violations.

"What they are trying to do is figure out who had the cars," acting Transportation Commissioner Tom Tinlin said. "If they can't figure out who had the car, those tickets will go down as uncollected tickets."

Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit.

What a friggin' lame-assed cop-out. If a vehicle, registered to a municipal entity, gets ticketed, then that department or organization is on the hook for any and all associated fines. Period. I don't give a flying rat's ass who the individual driving the car at the time was, and neither should the city. If I loan my car to a friend and he gets tagged for parking at a fire hydrant, guess who the city's going to come after for the fine - yours truly, the registered owner of the car.

By their reasoning, if the city can't prove that I was the person driving my car at the time it was ticketed, then that ticket should go down as "uncollected" and get tossed in the trash. Right, Mr. Commissioner?

So, anyway, here's my solution:

From now on, I will appeal all future parking tickets by claiming that I happened to loan my car on the day in question to an unlicensed illegal alien who needed it to drive to a job interview, so that he could become a productive member of society by doing a job Americans don't want to do.

It's foolproof, I tell you, foolproof.