Thursday, July 14, 2005

Whippit, Whippit Good

Well, THIS can only lead to one thing.

WEST HARTFORD, Conn. - An expert in eating disorders collapsed in a supermarket after inhaling propellant from whipped cream cans, according to police.


According to the arrest warrant affidavit, West Hartford police responded to the Farmington Avenue Stop & Shop and found Berzins lying on the floor and bleeding from her head. Berzins, the affidavit says, told police she did not know what happened.

Police interviewed witnesses and collected evidence, then determined that Berzins apparently inhaled from three cans of whipped cream containing nitrous oxide, known as laughing gas, the affidavit says.

Berzins was charged with possession of a restricted substance, criminal mischief and creating a public disturbance. She was released on $500 bail and is to appear in Hartford Superior Court on July 21.

Apparently, Ms. Berzins did not possess a valid Connecticut Whipped Cream License. Stay tuned for calls for stringent whipped cream control from our ever-merciful leaders up on Beacon Hill. If it can happen in Connecticut, it can happen here. That's all the justification they'll need.

I wish I was kidding.