Tuesday, August 23, 2005

It's For the Children...Again

Reader, and newcomer to the blogosphere, Johnny of The Independent Jerk, kindly provided me with this link to the Worcester Police Department's Firearms Removal Program in the comment section to a previous post.

Firearm Removal Program

Contact Detective James Heffernan at (508) 799-8651
to arrange removal of unwanted firearms.

I would LOVE to have a peek inside Detective Heffernan's home gun safe.

And, I would now like to take this opportunity to launch my new anti-crime initiative. If, in fact, these "firearm removal programs" are as effective as the police and gun control advocates claim they are, then surely they wouldn't object to me starting one of my own to get even more scary guns off the streets - you know, "for the children" and all.

Introducing the...

mAss Backwards

Firearm Removal Program

Is there a "silent killer" lurking in your sock drawer?

Is Grandpa's old service pistol hiding out in the attic, just waiting for the opportunity to lash out and shoot the next innocent child to poke his head through the door?

Do you hear voices coming from that old shotgun resting against the wall in the closet?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then I implore you to take advantage of my free firearms removal program.

That's right - FREE!

At absolutely no cost to you, I will drive to your home and pick up these dangerous weapons of mass destruction to ensure that they will never act out on their own accord and injure or kill your loved ones. The safety of all our children is at stake. You can't afford not to take advantage of this program.


Be one of the first 100 people to participate in this bold new crime-fighting measure and receive, absolutely free, this wonderful gift.