Friday, February 10, 2006

Mumbling Right Along

From the Roslindale/West Roxbury Transcript:

Menino: New council wants to cut local crime

Really? They want to cut crime? You mean, there's no desire on the mayor's part to intentionally increase crime? Well, that's reassuring.

I guess.

In response to the need to implement an ongoing comprehensive anti-crime strategy, my administration and I last month created the Strategic Crime Council.

I guess all the "task forces", "focus groups", and "summits" he's tried haven't done jackshit. So, clearly, the solution to the city's crime problem lies in the creation of a "council". And here's a shocker - the formation of this council will be accompanied by...wait for it...proposals for more gun control! How strategic of them.

This will really stick it to the Gangbangers Local 12.

The council is examining everything from ammunition sales regulation...

As opposed to the current system we have in Massachusetts that forbids the sale of ammunition to anyone not in possession of a valid Firearms Identification Card or License to Carry a Firearm, both of which require the holder to submit to a criminal background check and fingerprinting?

Tell me, Mumbles, oh wonderful wise one, will the DNA collections be performed by the gun shop proprietors at the point of purchase? Or will licensed gun owners have the option of submitting DNA samples to the Commonwealth ahead of time?

...and bullet micro-stamping...

Yep. That'll do it. Linking crackheads to their bullets by matching the serial numbers to the forms they filled out at the gun shop where they legally purchased their ammunition.

Yes, folks. Our mayor is this stupid. stricter sentencing for illegal possession and trafficking.


My second proposal states that any habitual offender, someone who has been convicted of two or more crimes within Massachusetts or another state, would receive the maximum sentence if convicted again...

Wait a minute?

Who are you? And what have you done with the mayor?

Reducing crime by reducing the criminal population? Now, that's a novel idea. Why hasn't anyone thought of that before?


OK, kids, pop quiz time.

Which of these three proposals...

(A) Ammunition sales regulation
(B) Bullet micro-stamping
(C) Stricter sentencing for illegal possession and trafficking of firearms

...has the best chance of gaining ground in the progressive paradise of Massachusetts? And which will be summarily rejected as a violation of the rights of the people?

No, I will not be publishing an answer guide.