Satan Channels Ving Rhames

I have on good authority that somewhere in Hell, on the heels of this story hitting the news, the following conversation took place:

Satan: OK, who's next?

Minion: Defrocked priest and convicted child rapist, James Porter, sir. I started preparing his room the minute I heard he was coming. What are we going to do with him now?

Satan: What now? Let me tell you what now. I'ma call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin' niggers, who'll go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. You hear me talkin', hillbilly boy? I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'ma get medieval on your ass.

While typing this, I just realized I've been blogging almost a full year without a single Pulp Fiction quote making its way onto the main page here - glad I could rectify that egregious oversight.