What a Sad Bunch of Pansies

Has Red Sox Nation suddenly turned into a bunch of sniveling girly-men? First Mike Greenwell, now this.

FORT MYERS - Leery of appearing that they are taking their success and rubbing it in the collective face of the New York Yankees, the Red Sox are leaning against presenting World Series rings to players prior to the home opener at Fenway Park on April 11.

Ever since the Sox won their first title in 86 years and it was learned that the first home series of the year would be against the Yankees, New Englanders have relished the idea of the ages-old rivals having to watch the rings being presented at Fenway. The ceremony, which will undoubtedly be accompanied by great fanfare and celebration, may not be proper to conduct in front of the team the Sox defeated in the ALCS before heading on to sweep the St. Louis Cardinals, according to executive vice president Dr. Charles Steinberg.

"There's a degree of decorum you'd like to show and a degree of respect you'd like to demonstrate," Steinberg said. "When it is done, it will be done tastefully."

Fuck. That.

You want "tasteful"? I've got your "tasteful" right here, pal!

Give 'em the damn rings so they can rub the Yankees' noses in it like a bunch of puppies who just peed on the rug for the third time today. Then, have a drawing to see which Red Sox player (or, better yet, lucky fan) gets to use his new hardware to stamp the phrase "NOTSOB XOS DER" into A-Fraud and Jeter's foreheads.