From The "Stupid Criminals" Files

Here's a "What would you do?" scenario for you.

You're a prisoner in police custody on your way to a court appearance. You suddenly see an opportunity to escape and decide to make a run for it.

Where do you go in your efforts to get away from the police?

If you're this genius, a donut shop.

A prisoner on his way to court bolted from a state police cruiser parked at the Middleboro barracks on Tuesday, carjacked a vehicle and made his way to South Middleboro before local police apprehended him.

[snip]

On Tuesday just before 8 a.m., state police Sgt. Henry Bushfan placed Judge in a cruiser and went to get another prisoner out of the barracks.

That is when Judge made his escape.

Ryan said Judge ended up at the Dunkin' Donuts at routes 28 and 105 and stole a car.

Might I suggest the use of handcuffs next time, officer?

Meanwhile, this guy is giving new meaning to the phrase "a couple logs short of a campfire".

Investigators say 34-year-old William McMahon went into the Shell station on Central Street late Monday night, bought two dollars worth of gas in a plastic container and then left the station.

They say he came back moments later, poured the gas over the counter and inside the station, lit a cigarette lighter, threatened to ignite the gasoline and demanded the attendant's car keys.

The attendant didn't comply right away and police say McMahon poured more gas over the counter and floor and lit the lighter again.

Well, if anyone's looking for an example where a firearm would not be the most effective tool for self-defense, I'd say standing in a room full of gasoline vapors would make the list.