Like a Broke..Broke...Broke...Broken Record
Today's MGCSS features a rolling gun battle that took played out on the streets of Dorchester yesterday, just feet away from an elementary school.
Now, how can it be "unclear what prompted the shooting"? Mayor Menino, our all-knowing leader, has had this one figured out for years now. As everyone knows, it was the mere presence of evil, mind-altering guns in the hands of these individuals that stripped them of all their moral fiber and transformed these otherwise respectable, law-abiding youth into ruthless thugs, prompting them to fire indiscriminately around a local schoolyard.
Hmmm...wait a minute. On second thought, it had to have been the lack of job openings at Friendly's that drove these upstanding citizens to a life of violent crime.
No, no, no, I got it. It was the need for more taxpayer-funded after-school activities. Or maybe some kind of midnight basketball program would have prevented this latest gunfight. Those have both been favorites of Mumbles for some time, as well.
Or, perhaps, this shootout was the direct result of recent efforts to reform the state's welfare program, and serves as an indicator that we need to funnel more money down that drain, lest we cause even more gun crime through our lack of compassion.
The Boston Herald has an interesting twist on this, one that I hadn't even considered. How could I not have come up with this one?
It was those high-capacity assault minivans...of course.
Gunfire erupted outside a Dorchester elementary school yesterday afternoon, as more than a dozen fifth-graders were starting recess in their playground, outraged school officials and parents said yesterday.
It is unclear what prompted the shooting in front of the John Winthrop School, which is located on the Dorchester-Roxbury line, but Boston police were seeking two men in minivans who fired at each other, spraying the area with gunfire.
Now, how can it be "unclear what prompted the shooting"? Mayor Menino, our all-knowing leader, has had this one figured out for years now. As everyone knows, it was the mere presence of evil, mind-altering guns in the hands of these individuals that stripped them of all their moral fiber and transformed these otherwise respectable, law-abiding youth into ruthless thugs, prompting them to fire indiscriminately around a local schoolyard.
Hmmm...wait a minute. On second thought, it had to have been the lack of job openings at Friendly's that drove these upstanding citizens to a life of violent crime.
No, no, no, I got it. It was the need for more taxpayer-funded after-school activities. Or maybe some kind of midnight basketball program would have prevented this latest gunfight. Those have both been favorites of Mumbles for some time, as well.
Or, perhaps, this shootout was the direct result of recent efforts to reform the state's welfare program, and serves as an indicator that we need to funnel more money down that drain, lest we cause even more gun crime through our lack of compassion.
The Boston Herald has an interesting twist on this, one that I hadn't even considered. How could I not have come up with this one?
A brazen afternoon gun battle between two speeding minivans scattered terrified elementary school students from a playground and left a Roxbury neighborhood pitted with bullet holes.
It was those high-capacity assault minivans...of course.
