Please Update Your Scorecard

For those of you keeping score at home (as you all damn well should be):

Devices used to inject heroin - GOOD.

Devices used to ingest alcohol - BAD.

First potato chips without fat, next carb-free cookies.

Now you can inhale your liquor.

But Massachusetts officials aren'’t toasting the "“AWOL"” machine that lets hang-over weary and carb-conscious patrons suck on a tube and inhale boooze for a purportedly "“euphoric"” high.

Two Bay State lawmakers and at least one town want to ban "“vaporized"” alcohol before Massachusetts even gets addicted.

Alcohol With Out Liquid machines sell for $300 online and work like this:

You suck on an inhaler -— connected by a tube to the machine -— for 20 minutes and breathe oxygen and vaporized booze. The spirits enter your bloodstream through your lungs, instead of your digestive system, and AWOL'’s maker claims it won'’t give you a hangover and it'’s low-cal.

But, I thought we, as a nation, were facing a deadly obesity epidemic. This is just the kind of thing the "We Know What's Best For You" brigade (aka: the Massachusetts General Court) should be welcoming to the Commonwealth with open arms.

Seriously, what's next? Shot glasses? Plastic funnels and vinyl tubing? Those oh-so-suave hard hats with the beer can holders and plastic tubing on the side?

[insert your own Ted Kennedy joke here]