It's All About the Guns (cont'd)

Via the Brockton Enterprise:

STOUGHTON — Two Porter Street men charged with the attempted slaying of a 17-year-old in a bloody attack with a meat cleaver...

KITCHEN UTENSIL CONTROL! NOW!!!

...and a folding pocketknife...

CAMPING EQUIPMENT CONTROL! NOW!!!

BAN THE CUB SCOUTS!

...were each held on $100,000 cash bail Tuesday.

One of the suspects, Jose Ramirez, 22, of 173 Porter St., is also facing a second charge of attempted murder after police say he assaulted the other defendant, Willie Wilkerson, 20, also of 173 Porter St., with the meat cleaver.

"It was a wild scene," said police Sgt. Daniel McGowan. "It's shocking."

Hey! That's my line, pal!

And, from cbs4boston.com:

There was a scare for customers and employees at a Braintree credit union Wednesday, when a woman walked in claiming to have a bomb.

The female robber demanded money from a clerk at the Telephone Workers Credit Union at the South Shore Plaza. She took the cash and fled – leaving a bag behind.

The bank was evacuated and the bomb squad was called to the scene.

Turns out, all that was inside the bag was a bunch of clothing.

Clearly, what's called for here is a wide-sweeping ban on the sale and possession of clothing.

Public nudity - it's FOR THE CHILDREN^TM!