From the "Mumbonics to English" Dictionary

Today's word:

MAJOR (adj) - Great in scope or effect

From BPDNews.com:

Today, Mayor Thomas M. Menino and Acting Commissioner Al Goslin, in conjunction with the Boston Police Department and numerous community and faith-based organizations, is pleased to announce that the 2006 Boston Gun Buyback “Aim For Peace” was a major success.

Got that? It's now a "major" success.

I don't have all the numbers in front of me, but I'm not seeing anything these days that would lend the slightest bit of credence to this never-ending line of shit the mayor's shoveling here.

Last night:

Dorchester Shooting Leaves 1 Dead, 2 Injured

One person is dead and two others are wounded in an overnight shooting in Dorchester.

Earlier this week (post-gun buyback):

Mattapan man dies in daylight shooting

The "tallest man" on Woolson Street in Mattapan who was beloved for his magnetic personality, caring and charm was shot dead yesterday morning in a brazen daylight shooting.

Violent Night In City Leaves 1 Dead, 2 Injured

A 30-year-old man was shot and killed at 34 Danube Street, said Boston Police. The victim was taken to Boston Medical Center, where he was pronounced dead around 11:45 p.m.

Man shot to death in Dorchester

A 44-year-old man was fatally shot yesterday at Dorchester's Franklin Field Public Housing Development, making him the city's 39th homicide victim this year, police said.

Homicide On Woolson Street

On July 19, 2006 around 11:29am, officers from District 3 responded to 14 Woolson Street in Mattapan for a report of a person shot. On arrival officers located the victim, a black male suffering from a gunshot wound to the chest. The victim was transported to Brigham and Women Hospital where he later succumbed to his injuries.

Did I miss any? I didn't bother to include all the non-fatal shootings, gun possession arrests, and armed robberies. Who's got the time?

I'm almost afraid to ask, what would it take for this gun buyback program to be deemed a failure by our lexiconically-challenged mayor?

So, once you're finished patting yourself on the back for getting all those crime-causing guns "off the street", what do you say you leave the bodyguard at home, Tom, and spend a week or two living in these neighborhoods with the people, about whom you profess to care so deeply?

In Priscilla Megie's Dorchester neighborhood, a slope of ramshackle tenements, uneven lawns, and cracked sidewalks, the curtains are drawn and most shades are down. No matter how hot it gets, she said, her three children, ages 8, 5, and 2, are not allowed to play outside, go near the windows, or sit on the porch. And when they hear the crackle of gunfire, which is nearly every day and night on Hamilton Street, she said, the children are trained to hit the floor -- fast.

After all, with all those guns on their way to the foundry, what harm could possibly come to you?

Mayor Menino joined by the Boston Police Department and members of the community will announce the grand total of collected “buyback” firearms. The Boston Police Ballistics Units has completed auditing the inventory of collected weapons and the final tally is in. On hand will be hundreds of firearms that have been removed from city streets. The media will witness a large collection of these firearms being loaded into a BPD Patrol Wagon and sent to an “undisclosed” location to be melted into sewer caps.

"YESTERDAY'S GUNS"? What a fucking joke.

I'm sure these new paperweights will provide a great deal of comfort and solace for the people whose neighborhoods have been turned into warzones by TODAY'S CRIMINALS!

Perhaps, these parents could take a page from the Clint Eastwood Playbook, and send their kids out to play with Menino's new mini-manhole covers sewn into their clothes to deflect any stray bullets coming their way.

Who knows, if this could "save just one life", perhaps this gun buyback program could prove itself to be somewhat useful after all.

* That's the Marty McFly Playbook, for my younger readers.