Thursday, September 07, 2006

Yeah, This'll Teach 'Em

From the Letters to the Editor of the Boston Globe:

Action urged to end Darfur violence

GENOCIDE IS an intolerable practice in the 21st century.

As opposed to when? 1998?

However, as reported in your Sept. 1 article ("New round of fighting is feared in Darfur," Page A1), even though the Bush administration declared the violence in Darfur a genocide nearly two years ago, little has changed in the lives of civilians there.

That's because all the socialist, liberal ninnies comprising the Ding-Dong Wing of the Democratic Party and the United Nations Security Council would throw a collective temper tantrum if Bush announced he was going to launch a military strike against those committing said genocide.

And, also because Bush is enough of a pussy to cave in to the incessant whining of the aforementioned, genocide-sympathizing panty-twists.

Since 2003, the Sudanese government and its proxy militia, Janjaweed, have been waging a genocidal campaign against the villagers of Darfur. More than 2 million people have been brutally displaced and more than 450,000 people have died as a result of violence, hunger, or disease. Rape has become an instrument of war, and violence against [unarmed and defenseless - ed.] women the centerpiece of the conflict.

Unless, of course, that "violence against women" happened to take place in Iraq in one of Saddam's kids' rape rooms, in which case, it goes from "centerpiece" to "irrelevant" status, as far as any discussions on the justification of the use of military force in Iraq are concerned.

Face it, had Clinton gone to war on those grounds alone, the National Organization for Women would have immediately petitioned John Paul II for Clinton's canonization to sainthood. Actually, now that I think about it, that petition is probably still in the works, as we speak.

A new round of fighting is indeed called for -- in the form of an appeal to protect the people of Darfur.

From the Loony Left Lexicon:

Fighting (verb): Having a lengthy series of meetings with harshly worded Powerpoint presentations...and no free coffee! We're getting serious now!

Personally, I was thinking of something more "in the form of" a Mosin Nagant, SKS, Lee-Enfield, Swiss K-31, etc.

Plenty of "appeal" there.

Communities nationwide are mobilizing to stop the genocide.

How, pray tell?

On Sept. 17, a pivotal rally...

LOOK OUT! Janjaweed rapists and plunderers, be warned! They're having a "rally"! You might as well come out with your hands up. Rumor has it there will be a drum circle.

...timed to coincide with the opening of the General Assembly of the United Nations, is being held in New York's Central Park. This could be a time for people to declare, "Not on our watch."


Knock yourself out there, Susan. But, this reality, of which those on the liberal left remain woefully dismissive, remains. A couple hundred air-dropped crates of reliable battle rifles will "protect the people of Darfur" [read: women and children] immeasurably better than a congregation of white, guilt-ridden, do-gooder hippie-types banging on empty plastic buckets in the park.

Hence, Bumper Sticker #2 (available soon*):

Then again, we could always just revert to the oft-employed (and Bono-approved) method of raising money and funneling it through a bunch of corrupt, bureaucrat-laden international aid organizations.

"Kofi Annan, call your office. Your check is here."

Now, if that wouldn't bring a rapid end to the bloodshed, starvation and rape, I don't know what will.

But, hey, who knows? With enough money, it's possible these women might be able to bribe their attackers into letting them off easy.

And only raping them twice.

* pending sufficient sales of Bumper Sticker #1