Sunday, April 22, 2007

Speaking of Ass Wiping

Will someone please tell me this is a joke?

Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.


Sometimes I fear for the future of our species.

I remember waking up to one such "pesky occasion", after an evening spent pounding room temperature Busch longnecks and wolfing down an extra large order of suicidal buffalo wings from the Cuckoo's Nest in Somerville, thinking one roll might not do the trick.

(link via Doc at The Autopsy, via Ace)