Monday, October 29, 2007

Ignoramus Maximus

Via Jeff Soyer, comes this piece of abject cerebral diarrhea. Too much material to fisk this morning. Gotta get ready to meet the next President of the United States up in Concord this afternoon.

Here's a little taste to get you going.

Here's a bold proposal: Let's talk about gun control


We should all recall when three college students were killed execution-style in Newark....

By illegal aliens prohibited from purchasing or possessing firearms in the United States.

...not long after a mad student...

A total nutcase, whose mental condition should have been in the NICS database, but wasn't.

...killed 32 people at Virginia Tech. Some of us are probably still reeling about the mother who bought her 14-year-old son an automatic weapon...

Um, no she didn't. add to an already dangerous stockpile of guns...

To quote Clark Griswold:

Are you kidding? This is a Magnum P.I.


I could poke an eye out with this thing.

But, I digress.

...and explosives.

Oh, that reminds me. I need to fill my truck up with gas this morning. Now, where did I put my License to Purchase Gasoline?

Don't forget that street gangs...

The membership of which is comprised of amoral, law-breaking thugs prohibited under current local, state, and federal laws from purchasing or possessing firearms.

...have murdered thousands upon thousands since 9/11. Far too many believe that power comes from the barrel of a gun.

Yeah, like these bad people.

An inconvenient number are members of the National Rifle Association...

Since when is zero so inconvenient?

which would probably be mounting a defense of the rapper T.I., who was recently arrested for buying three machine guns and silencers.

And, he got paid to write that. I'm still waiting for my checks from the evil gun lobby to start rolling in. Seriously, my dog eats roadkill off the pavement that's more intelligent than this guy.

And hey, Stanley, here's a "bold proposal" for you.

Stop committing aggressive acts of violence.

At the First Annual Jazz Awards, Crouch was invited to present an award, and while reading the nominees made disparaging comments about two of them: trumpeter Dave Douglas and pianist Matthew Shipp. After the show, jazz critic Howard Mandel (not to be confused with "Deal or No Deal" host Howie Mandel), who was largely responsible for creating and organizing the Jazz Awards, confronted Crouch about his earlier comments. After a short argument, Crouch punched Mandel and then was confronted by Shipp, who called Crouch "an Uncle Tom and a fucking loser". However, the two were quickly separated and a brawl was avoided.[3]

In 2004, Crouch approached critic Dale Peck—who had written an unfavorable review of Crouch's first novel Don't the Moon Look Lonesome—in a Greenwich Village restaurant and slapped him in the face warning him, "Don’t you ever do that again. If you do you’ll get much worse." Crouch has also punched jazz writer Russ Musto and Village Voice letters editor Ron Plotkin and put fellow Voice critic Harry Allen in a choke hold, leading to his dismissal.



The NRA made him do it.