Give Us This Day Our Daily Fisk

George Barnes had this post-Heller piece up last week in the Worcester Telegram. He started out on some pretty solid footing...

The U.S. Supreme Court finally got it right on a gun case.

The court vote Thursday correctly struck down a Washington, D.C., ban on handgun ownership in the district. It also deemed unconstitutional the city’s requirement that homeowners keep trigger locks on legal firearms kept in their homes or keep the firearms disassembled.

...but it only took him a couple paragraphs after that to start sliding off the continental shelf of rational thought.

The ban appeared to be very much at odds with the Constitution and people’s right to keep and bear arms, if that is what they need to do. It is said people need guns for self-defense because, heck, the only thing protecting them, other than their handguns, are local and state police and sheriff’s departments, federal agencies such as the FBI, the Drug Enforcement Administration, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives, and the Secret Service. There are also National Guard units scattered throughout most states and environmental police officers wandering the woods.

So, essentially, he's saying the court got the call right, but the amendment itself is simply not needed in today's America. You know, because we've got all these fabulous government agencies to provide us with 'round-the-clock protection.

Uh-huh.

Here's another George Barnes article, from September 2006.

2 arrested, 1 sought after gunshots fired

GARDNER— One man was injured, two men are under arrest and a third is being sought by police following a wild incident outside a wake that was being held Friday night at a funeral home on Pleasant Street.

Lt. Gerald Poirier said police were called to Poliks Funeral Home, 431 Pleasant St., at about 7:39 p.m. after receiving reports of shots being fired in front of the building.

[...]

Lt. Poirier said people at the funeral home directed police to a bleeding man in the street. The 46-year-old Worcester resident, whose name was not released, told police he had been beaten, forced into a vehicle at gunpoint by three men and driven to the funeral home.

What? The police showed up AFTER the violent crime had occurred? And, they had to be directed to the bleeding man in the street? They weren't able to protect this man from being harmed by violent criminals? I'm SHOCKED!

Yet, strangely, there's no criticism by Mr. Barnes of the Gardner Police Department's failure to provide the victim with his personal 24-hour bodyguard. Go figure.

So, congratulations, Mr. Barnes! You're this month's proud recipient of the Journalistic Credibility of Tree Bark Award.

Oh, and if you need another reason not to click through and read his piece de retardance, here are a couple.

With all the other problems this country has, anarchy is not desirable, and that is what is likely to happen if everyone is running around their yards enforcing neighborhood decorum with loaded pistols.

Fear, meet monger.

Like needing a handgun for protection in your home, semiautomatic weapons seem unnecessary, and are not very sporting.

Yeah, what kind of paranoid whackjob needs a handgun to protect his family? It's not like a deranged naked man is going to crawl through a window of your house, clutching a tube of mechanical lubricant, and yelling "I'm gonna get you!" as he makes his way toward your kid's bedroom.

Douche, meet bag.

This guy wouldn't recognize a sporting firearm if a wooden crate full of them fell on that vacuum chamber of his he calls a skull.