Friday, February 18, 2005

Wile E. Coyote vs. 2-by-4

From the Boston Herald:

Rabid coyote attacks Cape mom

A Cape Cod man ran to his wife's rescue yesterday using a piece of lumber to cripple an attacking coyote that had locked its rabies-infected jaws on her wrist, police said.

The coyote was shot twice and killed by police, Sgt. Ben Baxter said.

Marstons Mills resident Cindy Parker-Kelley let the couple's Norwegian elkhound out yesterday around 7 a.m. A short time later, she heard the dog yelping in the back yard, police said.

When she looked outside, Baxter said she saw the family pet had cornered the rabid coyote.

When she ran out and tried to shoo away the critter, the coyote attacked her, police said.

David Kelley ran outside in his underwear, saw the animal latched onto his wife's arm, and grabbed a piece of lumber. He whacked the lunging animal several times, police said.

"I couldn't believe how brazen it was to keep coming at me," Kelley told WCVB-TV (Ch. 5).

Now would be the time to ask the seemingly obvious question, what was she thinking, approaching a wild animal and flailing her arms around like that. It turns out - and no, as much as I wish otherwise, I'm not making this up - she was following the appropriate course of action as laid out by MassWildlife (see this previous post).

"We need to tell people to harass the animals," said Marion Larson, information and education biologist for MassWildlife. "We don't want people to be afraid. This is one animal that instead of standing there and watching it take a nap, go give it a lesson."

Well, she gave it a lesson alright - and a snack.

Welcome to Massachusetts. Had this story unfolded outside the confines of the People's Republic, there would have been just one phone call made that morning - to Animal Control for carcass removal, preceded of course, by a discussion between the homeowners over which firearm to use to relieve the coyote of it's cerebral functions.

Your homework: Read the post linked above, then take this brief quiz to see how well you'd fare against a coyote in your back yard. Take your time and answer thoughtfully, you will be graded on this.