Thursday, August 10, 2006

DHS: Hot On the Trail of the Colgate Bomber


TRAVEL ADVISORY: If you are flying out of Logan today, you will face tighter security because of the heightened terror alert. The National Guard and State Police are conducting random checks of automobiles and luggage. In addition, there is a second level of security that has been added at each departure gate, where checkers will not allow you to carry on laptops or cell phones, or any liquids, even in your carry-on bag. Those liquids and gels include bottled water, coffee, shampoo, hair gels, toothpaste, mouthwash, and suntan lotion. You must arrive at Logan 2.5 to 3 hours before before departure for overseas flights and 2 hours for domestic flights. --Developing

Show of hands, who feels safer now?

(looks around for hands)

(still looking)


Seriously, can we start a little racial profiling in our airports now?

If 99.9% of all terror attacks in the world, over the last 30 years, had been carried out by white men, aged 18-40, of western European descent, I'd have no problem being pulled aside for extra scrutiny at airport security checkpoints. So, for all of those ACLU types screaming about unfair targeting of Arab-looking men, go fix yourself a nice, hot cup of go fuck yourself.

Now, because we've enslaved ourselves to never-before-seen levels of political correctness in this country, I'm expected to check a $2,000 laptop in my luggage, deprive my kids of their sippy cups and juice boxes, and am now forbidden from bringing on board the Dunkin' Donuts coffee I just purchased in the "secure" area of the terminal.

Who needs terrorists? The war is already over.

We didn't win.