Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Because Some Snark Bears Repeating

WBZ (Channel 4 - Boston):

The Boston Police Department said a recent string of sexual assaults allegedly by cab and livery drivers has prompted a warning to passengers to be careful.

Police said since October there have been five sexual assaults on women who reported being attacked by taxi or livery drivers.

And, stop me if you've heard this one before.

Police also suggest carrying a cell phone and holding car keys in your hand that can be used as a weapon against an attacker.

From the joint statement released by Boston Mayor Tom "Mumbles" Menino and Massachusetts Governor Deval "Hopenchange Jr." Patrick:

A woman should never carry a gun, because the bad guy will just take it away from her and use it against her. Whereas, a set of car keys will impart superhuman strength and razor-edged combat readiness upon any woman carrying them. There would simply be no way she could ever be disarmed and assaulted then. Same applies to cell phones and plastic whistles.