All Apologies

Proving that (some) Massachusetts liberals actually do possess a sense of humor, David, over at Blue Mass. Group, took the time to link to my "MumbleCard" post from yesterday.

You may not agree with much of what Bruce says.
by: David
June 01, 2006 at 12:52:47 EST

But you've got to admit that he's really funny sometimes.

BMG commenter, Bob, however, failed to see the humor therein.

Funny like a hole in the head (0.00 / 0)

I don't admit and neither, I suspect, the kids shot in April on Creston Street. Bruce should be spending his extensive free time writing apology letters to the victims of gun violence.

To be blunt, there's something wrong with Bob. Because, that post (my slightly biased opinion aside) was fucking funny, dammit! Further, Bob seems to think I owe an apology to the victims of gun scumbag violence, including a bunch of kids who unfortunately were injured in a drive-by shooting in Roxbury a couple months back.

Well, I do aim to please. So, without further ado:

Dear Bob,

I'm Sorry.

I'm sorry that the scumbags who are shooting up these neighborhoods of Boston, including Creston Street in Roxbury, have absolutely no respect for human life, or regard for the laws of the nation and the Commonwealth. Though, I fail to see how that's MY problem.

I'm sorry that we have judges in this county who feel that eleven days is a proper prison sentence for a previously convicted armed robber to serve on a subsequent charge of illegal gun possession. Though, I fail to see how that's MY problem.

I'm sorry the Boston Police Department's homicide detective squad seems more concerned these days with scamming overtime pay for bogus courtroom appearances than they do with actually solving homicides. Though, I fail to see how that's MY problem.

I'm sorry our District Attorney's offices in the Commonwealth have been taken over by prosecutors who will plea-bargain away the mandatory one-year prison sentence for illegal gun possession, as called for under the Bartley-Fox Law, as easily as they would a jaywalking charge. Though, I fail to see how that's MY problem.

I'm sorry our state legislature is dominated by short-sighted individuals who believe it's possible to legislate morality, or exact changes in the behavior of criminals by passing meaningless, feel-good, do-nothing laws that affect only the non-criminal portion of the population of the Commonwealth. Though, I fail to see how that's MY problem.

I'm sorry that we have elected, once again, a mayor who has unilaterally made it the official policy of his administration to deny the poor, elderly, and non-politically-connected populations of Boston the right to defend themselves against these violent scumbags. Though I fail to see how that's MY problem.

I'm sorry we have a Mayor who claims we don't have enough money to hire police officers, yet he found the time and resources to run around downtown last year with a bunch of kids putting rollerskates, hightops and doo-rags, and purple fetish boots on the statues of our founding fathers. Though I fail to see how that's MY problem.

I'm sorry we have a mayor who purports to be so empathetic toward the people living in the crime-ridden neighborhoods of Boston, while at the same time telling them what a safe city we all live in. Yet, he won't actually go into these neighborhoods to speak to these people face-to-face without his taxpayer-funded armed security detail (and adoring local media entourage) close behind. Though I fail to see how that's MY problem.

Lastly, I'm sorry, that you are suffering such a wild disconnect from reality where these matters are concerned.

Though I fail to see how that's MY problem.

Quite sincerely,

Bruce