Déjà Vu

(translated from French = Dead Horse)

From last month's BPD "INFORMATION ADVISORY":

Between September 30th and October 10th, seven commercial robbery incidents have taken place throughout the city that appears to be related. A black male suspect (age 20-30), similarly described in appearance and motive has robbed four gas stations and two convenience stores (two incidents at one location), all at gunpoint using a black handgun.

I'm guessing they haven't caught the guy yet, based on today's "PUBLIC SAFETY NOTIFICATION":

(Quick question - is a "notification" more or less urgent than an "advisory"? Perhaps, the Mayor can form a "multi-pronged" "task force" to help us get to the bottom of that.)

Between September 30th and November 13th, eleven commercial robbery incidents have taken place that appears to be related. A black male suspect (age 20-30) similarly described in appearance and motive has targeted gas stations, convenience stores and coffee shops, all at gunpoint using a black handgun. The suspect has been reported to cover his face with a mask or bandana, and has been known to order the clerks to the floor at gunpoint.

And, what Violent Crime Notification/Advisory would be complete without the obligatory "Self-Defense for Liberals" press release from the shepherds at the Boston Police Department.

WHAT TO DO DURING A ROBBERY:

To reduce the risk of injury, COMPLY WITH THE ROBBER’S DEMANDS. Make a mental note of as much descriptive information as possible.

What to look for:
· Facial Features
· Clothing & Jewelry
· Skin, Hair & Eye Color
· Age, Height, Weight, Sex
· Scars, Tattoos, Marks
· Speech, Accents

Sounds great on paper, but let's review the incident reports.

The suspect entered the store brandishing a black handgun and ordered the clerk to open the register. The suspect told the clerk to get on the ground...

The suspect entered the store showing a black handgun. The suspect demanded money and ordered the clerk to open the register. The suspect told the clerk to get on the ground...

The suspect ordered the clerk to the floor and demanded money.

The suspect threatened to shoot the clerk, ordered her to the floor...

The suspect ordered the clerk down on the floor at gunpoint...

The suspect ordered the clerk to the floor at gunpoint...

The suspect entered the store and threatened the clerk with a black handgun. The suspect fled with cash from the register after he struck the victim on the back of the head with the handgun....

ROUGHLY TRANSLATED: While you're lying face-down on the floor (or curled up in pain, nursing a head wound), fearing for your life, having ceded all responsibility for your personal safety to a couple scumbags (the one in the Mayor's Office and the one pointing a gun at the back of your head), be sure to have a good look around so you can take detailed notes on the your assailant's physical appearance.

And, don't forget to put on your anti-crime sneakers before you go to your job at the Quickie-Mart down the street. Those will help a lot.