Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Granny Stater of the Week

Meet New Hampshire State Representative Catherine Mulholland (D-Grafton):

MANCHESTER, N.H. -- A state legislator is proposing a new tax on candy, officials said.

Sean McDonald reported that there's a new "candy tax" being proposed.

Democratic Rep. Catherine Mulholland of Grafton has proposed raising money for the state by putting a 50 cent tax for every pound of candy, which would be about 5 cents of tax on a candy bar.


Here's a reeeeeal shocker She's not from around here.

Birthplace: England


Three words: Nanny. Go. Home.

I'll now take the advice of my parents, who told me long ago, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all", and let Dave Quinn do the talking here (for the next five seconds, or so, anyway).

"I just think the whole thing is really quite silly," said Dave Quinn, an employee at Can Otis Chocolates in Manchester.

As a candy maker and retailer, he would have to get multiple "candy licenses," which would cost his store about $450, and his store would be required to buy 'tax stamps' to be put on all candy, a cost that would be passed along.


Yes...$450 for candy licenses.

CANDY LICENSES.

That was not a typo.

Read it again.

$450 for CANDY LICENSES.

Once again, so we're clear, I am not making this up.

Four hundred and fucking fifty fucking dollars for fucking CANDY LICENSES!

Don't these people have a comet to catch?

I hereby pledge never to use the phrase "dumbest thing I've ever heard" ever again. Every time I speak or write those words, it's only a (short) matter of time before I read something like this.

Not all candy sellers dislike the tax. Some store owners said they do not take offense form the tax because much of it goes to education.


Uh-huh.

Right.

Until the next time around, when they tell us we need a tax on Slim Jims, beef jerky, and Firecracker sausages, because public education will have been determined to be - SURPRISE, SURPRISE! - underfunded!

Again.

And after that, it will be a video game tax.

Then, a movie rental tax.

And, then they'll go for a "paltry" a one-percent increase in the state _______ tax.

All FOR THE CHILDRENTM, of course.

And, finally, after they've succeeded in turning New Hampshire into Massachusetts North, bringing the state to its knees in a state of complete economic ruin, they'll look around for one of those evil Republicans to blame for all of it.

It's what they do.

"Fund education, we get, what, $3,300 per child per year? There's not a single school district that can pay for schools on $3,300 per season," said one store owner.

So far, the bill only has one sponsor.


That's one too many, as far as I'm concerned.

The date for when this bill would go before the house is unknown, officials said.


Might I recommend we pencil it in for next February 30th?