Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Here's a "What If" For You

OK, everybody, hold hands. We're going to set foot into the alternate-reality universe occupied by Sarah Brady, Dianne Feinstein, and the rest of their gun-grabbing minions. It's a wonderful world where all the nasty, scary guns have magically disappeared. It should go without saying that this would be a most tranquil place, full of peace, love, and understanding - and completely devoid of all the trappings of our violent present-day society, which as we all know, are caused by the presence and easy availability of firearms.

Think about it. No more murder/suicides:

A newly divorced New Hampshire mother drowned her 6-year-old daughter in the bathtub before hanging herself in the garage Sunday night, authorities said.

No more home invasions, kidnapping, assault and battery, and aggravated rape:

UPDATE (2/18/05): Sorry, previous link NFG. Try this one.

The woman, in her 20s, told police she was getting ready to go to bed at about midnight on Feb. 3 when she noticed one of the lights in her home had been turned off. When she went to see why, a man dressed in black and wearing a ski mask grabbed her from behind, placed a hand over her mouth and threw her to the floor.

She said the attacker held a knife to her throat and took her to her bedroom, tied her to the bed, gagged her with duct tape and raped her.

And we'd finally bid adieu to domestic violence:

A man is in hospital after being hit in the head with a frozen pork chop in Queensland's south-west.

So, let's review the "weapons of choice" used in these incidents from the past week:

Violent assaults taking place with nary a gun in sight. Who knew?

Also of interest is where these stories took place: New Hampshire, Massachusetts, and Australia, three regions with (in order) increasingly stringent gun control legislation in place. Yet, each story offers a chance to poke holes in the arguments most often trotted out by the gun-grabbers and their ignorant ilk.

1. The easier it is for people to buy guns, the more likely they'll use them against a family member or themselves.

The woman in the first story lived in a state where all you need is a driver's license and a clean criminal record to pass the background check at the point of purchase, and you walk out of the store with your shiny new firearm. This was an option available to her, yet she killed her child by drowning her in the tub, then hung herself in the garage. There isn't a single piece of gun control legislation that would have prevented this tragedy.

2. Gun control disarms criminals, thereby making life safer for everyone.

The woman in the second story has the misfortune of living in Massachusetts (see 187 or so previous posts). Violent psychopath with a knife beats unarmed rape victim nearly every time. I won't say that just by having a gun, this story would have turned out differently, but the odds sure as hell would have tipped in her favor if she had access to a gun, and the training to safely operate the same.

3. Mere restrictions on gun ownership aren't enough. We need a total gun ban - you know, "for the children".

OK, so the third story is included more for comic relief, but it illustrates an important point. Australia has some of the toughest gun control laws around, including an outright ban on handgun ownership. Yet, there are thousands of everyday objects Australians can still come in contact with on a regular basis than can be used to injure or kill someone. All that's required is the criminal intent and the will to act on it - two things that cannot be legislated out of existence.

Now, if you'll excuse me I have to finish cleaning up from my killing spree last June.

UPDATE (2/18/05): Here's a prime example of what can happen when you listen to and go along with politicians who want to deprive you of the means to protect your family. All too often, we hear people on the other side of the fence saying that no one NEEDS to own guns. Sorry, but if you share living space with rabid coyotes, it would be a damn good thing to consider.

Come to think of it, this would be also one instance where having a pork chop handy might prove useful. At least it could buy you enough time to get the kids inside and get your firearm of choice from the gunsafe.