Friday, August 11, 2006

Leave it to the Boston Phoenix

To run an article about a new line of specialty beers from Samuel Adams, and still find a way to work in the obligatory Bush-bashing.

A nation founded on beer is a strong republic indeed. It'’s well known by now that the Mayflower pushed ashore a little early, at Plymouth in 1620, because the parched Pilgrims had run out of their staples, "“especially our beere."” And everyone around here knows that founding father Samuel Adams was a brewer. Well, so were George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and James Madison. (Can you even imagine George W. Bush home brewing?)

Hmmm...I wonder if Mr. Miliard would have tossed that last line in, had John Kerry carried Ohio in 2004. Whoops, I meant to say, "had Ohio not been stolen from John Kerry by the sinister overlords of the Diebold/Halliburton cabal".

Actually, come to think of it, he very well might have.

The imagery would likely be too hard for even the writers at The Phoenix to overlook: the sight of John "Common Man" Kerry standing in his designer kitchen in Louisburg Square, with the sleeves rolled up on his $148 Brooks Brothers shirt (with "tennis collar"), wearing his monogrammed Williams-Sonoma apron, cooking up a pot of wort in his $120 All-Clad Stockpot on the $11,000 Viking range.

"Say, Ter-AYYY-zuh? Where do we keep those utensils that the commoners use to stir stuff when they're cooking?"

"You mean, the SPOONS, John?"

"So, those are called spoons, too, huh? My, that's fascinating."