Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Don't bring a flashlight to a bear fight

From today's Boston Herald comes this article about a man who did exactly what that we are told by the authorities to do when in danger - he called 911. Fortunately, for our hero, he knew that was only 'Plan A' and was adequately prepared (read: armed) to execute 'Plan B'.

Jurkowski, a 56-year-old carpenter, said the bear had been stalking his family for a week. The first encounter happened Aug. 8, when the bear reached through a window and took a swipe at one of Jurkowski's three dogs.

He returned again about 8 p.m. Sunday while Jurkowski and his wife, Marjorie, were watching the Olympics. ``He was standing on the porch with his paws up as high as he could stretch and he had a 100-pound bag of sunflower seeds in his mouth,'' Jurkowski said.

Jurkowski rushed inside and told his wife to call 911. Palmer police arrived minutes later and chased the bear into the woods with flashlights and sirens. The cops told the Jurkowskis not to worry; the bear would probably be too scared to return.

Probably? That's the best the cops can do to protect this guy and his family? I'm sorry, but I want more than a "probably" when evaluating a potential threat to my family's well-being. Especially when that threat is a 300-pound wild animal that recognizes my property to be a source of food. But I'm sure the cops know best, right? That old tried and true flashlights and sirens technique (just like our forefathers used) will surely teach that bear a lesson he'll NEVER forget.

But less than an hour later, Jurkowski saw the hulking animal heading for his doorway, which was guarded only by a flimsy screen and his three yapping Chihuahuas.

Or not.

"He was 5 feet away when I fired my first shot," Jurkowski said. "I shot three more times and then my gun jammed. He gave a humongous roar, and I ran into the house."

"He crawled about 50 feet, laid down and died," he said. "I'm not bragging, that's just what happened."

All in all, a good story with a happy ending, but did the Herald have to run the guy's picture?

Even THIS guy can handle a shotgun better than John Kerry


As much as this picture might perpetuate the stereotype of gun owners as...well, um...this guy, do take note of his safe handling of the firearm - finger off the trigger until you're ready to fire. The truly sad thing is, if he didn't own a gun and went to apply for a gun permit, explaining that a bear had been stalking his family for a week, he would have been shit out of luck waiting for his permit to be issued, even for a "shall issue" FID card allowing for purchase and possession of a shotgun.

But seeing as it's Palmer (western MA) and not the enlightened hamlet of Boston or Cambridge, there's a good chance a neighbor would have loaned him one (oh no, that would be illegal) and the cops wouldn't have done a damn thing about it, except maybe advise him to keep the gun clean and in working order to avoid jamming in the future.