Friday, March 18, 2005

Enough Already!

As if selling (not to mention buying) pretzels and grilled cheese sandwiches that look like the Virgin Mary on eBay wasn't ridiculous enough, now it's come to satanic turtles and holy roasting pans.

MICHIGANTOWN, Ind. -- Could it be... Satan? A central Indiana pet shop owner says a turtle that was the only animal to survive an October fire has developed an image of Satan's face on its shell.


Dora has produced a DVD of the turtle's story that he plans to auction on the Internet. He will also offer the winning bidder the chance to buy Lucky off-line.

Susan McGuinness, of Dorchester, said the burnt label on her roasting pan looks like the Virgin Mary holding the baby Jesus. She spotted the metal "miracle" just before she put the pan in the dishwasher on Sunday.


McGuinness said she will probably sell the pan on eBay.

Damn! I took a dump last week that looked just like Ernest Borgnine. But, like an idiot, I went and flushed the toilet. I bet that bad boy would've brought me at least five bucks.

UPDATE: Then I Saw Her Face...

Disregard everything I wrote above, and tell me this piece of paneling on my office wall isn't a spitting image of the Virgin Mary suckling the baby Jesus. Granted, she's also holding a Captain America shield, but that just makes it all the more, um, unique - and extra super-valuable.

WOO-HOO! I'm rich!