Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Mumbles: We Need More Federal Gun Laws

More from the "Making America Safer (For Crack Dealers and Rapists)" Gun Summit, courtesy of the Boston Herald:

"The problem is we don't have a national policy on guns," Menino said after the summit ended with a news conference and a signing of the statement of principles.

We don't?

That's odd. Because, the last time I checked, we had all kinds of gun "policy" at the national level, in the form of numerous federal gun control laws that:

(A) require gun purchasers be subject to a criminal background check.
(B) make it a crime to sell a firearm to a resident in another state.
(C) require notification to law enforcement of multiple handgun purchases.
(D) that severely restrict the purchase and possession of automatic weapons.
(E) prohibit the sale of armor-piercing handgun ammunition.
(F) regulate the licensing of firearms dealers.

And the list doesn't end there by any means.

But, I digress. Shame on me for trying to introduce facts (again) into this discussion, when what really matters is what feeeeeeels good, and what is best for our great nanny-state collectivist Utopia.

The document begins: "Whereas 30,000 Americans across the country are killed every year as a result of gun violence, as Mayors, we are duty-bound to do everything in our power to protect our residents, especially our children, from harm...

Here's a novel idea. Allow the law-abiding citizens in your cities to make the choice, as free people, to act responsibly and provide for their own self-defense against anyone who wishes to bring harm to them or their families. Anything short of that, by your own words, should be seen as dereliction of duty and result in your removal from office.

Yeah, like that'll happen.

...and there is no greater threat to public safety than the threat of illegal guns."

As opposed to the threat of legal screwdrivers.

According to police, a 51-year-old man was approached by a Felix Pierre, 27, of Somerville while making a deposit at the bank's safety deposit box. The victim told police that Pierre came in from behind and grabbed the bag of money.

After a struggle, the victim was able to recover the bag.

Police say Pierre then stabbed the victim above the eyebrow with a screwdriver when he refused to comply with his demands to hand over the money.

Gun Control: Because allowing some scumbag to stick a screwdriver into your head is morally superior to putting a bullet into his.

UPDATE: I don't want to give the impression that I'm singling out these deadly screwdrivers for any special scrutiny here.

It is imperative that we remain equally vigilant of the threat posed to society by all the flashlights, knives, rocks, fire extinguishers, baseball bats, boxcutters, rope, golf clubs, hammers, and shower curtain rods we've got lying around here in the land of the "most effective gun laws in the nation".

Because, it's never about the INDIVIDUALS who CHOOSE to use these objects in an UNLAWFUL manner. It just wouldn't be compassionate to crack down on them and hold them accountable for their actions. Besides, they've been through enough already - probably just didn't get enough hugs when they were younger.

UPDATE: And scissors.