Saturday, August 12, 2006

It's Another Happy Ending

Daily reader, John B. in Minnesota, brings us this latest "happy ending" story. It's a fascinating tale of three "disadvantaged youths", all fine "upstanding members of their community", who were doubtlessly in the process of "turning their lives around", when their plans went suddenly awry.

Man Uses Sword to Fight Off Burglars

(Minneapolis) - It was just are 3:30 Wednesday morning when a Minneapolis apartment dweller was forced to defend himself and his property with a sword.

Police say they got a call from residents of the 3100 block of Lyndale Avenue South that four people had forced their way into a residence.

According to police, once the burglars were inside, they got into a fight with one of the residents who grabbed his roommates sword and started slashing the intruders. His feisty attack send the invaders running, but not before he wounded several.

Shortly after Minneapolis police arrived, they were called by doctors at the hospital about the arrival of three people to the ER with severed fingers and lacerations.

There's a bit more detail in this story from WCCO (Channel 4 in Minneapolis). Basically, three scumbags break into an apartment in the middle of the night and hold the residents at gunpoint, as part of their personal income redistribution program. One of the scumbags in question grabs a samurai sword off the wall and uses it to threaten the victims.

One of said victims, upon reaching the conclusion that being a victim totally sucks, decides to ignore all the excellent advice laid out in the Self Defense for Liberals Handbook, rushes the guy with the sword, takes the sword away from him, and proceeds to slice of a few of the scumbag's fingers in the process.

"We just expected the worst," he said. "We assumed we could be dead."

Now why would you assume that? Just because it was 3:30 in the morning, a gang of armed thugs resembling a neighborhood al Qaeda sleeper cell just broke into your apartment and pointed a gun at your head? about paranoid.

How did you know they weren't just looking for directions to the 24-hour soup kitchen where they could have going at that hour of the morning to get ready to work the breakfast shift?

Witnesses also reported seeing paramedics carrying a bag of severed fingers out of the apartment.

Well done, I say. And, much to the chagrin of Barbara Boxer, Ted Kennedy, and the rest of the ding-dong wing of the Democratic Party in this country, the City of Minneapolis is a safer place to be today.