Almost Missed This One
Hint: It would include the phrase "got away with an undisclosed amount of cash".
NEWINGTON -- After stealing a Ford Escort from the parking lot of a Portsmouth supermarket, a masked man attempted to rob the Woodbury Avenue branch of TD Banknorth, said police.
The robbery was botched, said Police Cpt. Brian Newcomer, after the would-be robber got into an argument with another customer who complained he was taking too long.
Not a likely outcome 'round these parts, where law enforcement and government officials recommend [read: mandate] that the citizenry - when faced with even the slightest hint of danger - behave like hapless, compliant victims.