Just What We Need, Another Mall Rampage

Alternate Post Title: Disco Pants and Haircuts

A 19-year-old from Long Island decided to tear up a local shopping mall with an assault weapon last night. Yet, surprisingly [read: not] the anticipated calls from the usual suspects to ban such weapons will be non-existent.

MASSAPEQUA, N.Y. --A teenager drove to a crowded suburban mall on Thursday, smashing through the entrance and cruising past clothing stores before exiting the car to deliver a speech to onlookers, police said.

The 19-year-old man drove through the mall's main glass doors at around 7 p.m., continued past a JCPenney, passed the mall's central court, knocked over a kiosk and then made two left turns before exiting near a McDonald's, Nassau County police said.

Insert obligatory Blues Brothers reference here.

Elwood: Baby clothes...
Jake: This place has got everything.

I blame John Landis.

After breaking through the second set of doors at Westfield Sunrise mall, the driver exited the car and started giving a speech before being restrained by a passer-by until police got there, Officer Thomas Brussell said.

[snip]

Brussell said he did not immediately have information on what could have driven the man to take a spin indoors. Charges were pending.

I would freakin' hope so.