Problem Solved!

Washington D.C. now gang-free!

When is a gang not a gang? When it's based in the District.

D.C. officials insist on describing groups of young males as "crews," rather than gangs, even when they are held responsible for violent acts such as the wave of killings in the city last weekend.

I'll check my handbook to make sure, but I believe this one comes in at #3 on the list of "Surefire Indicators That You Are Fresh Out of Ideas".