Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Mumble ub da Day

From the Office of the Mayor:

Mayor Menino Names New Police Commissioner

"Ed Davis is a man with stellar public safety credentials and is highly respected by many in the law enforcement community, both in Massachusetts and nationally. During his 12 years as head of the Lowell Police Department, Lowell has seen a dramatic decrease in crime," Mayor Menino said.

Surely, Mumbles, you have your facts confused here.

After 12 years of subjecting this city to your wisdom and leadership, the crime rate in Boston is climbing, with this year's homicide rate poised to surpass last year's ten-year high. Shootings, stabbings, and armed robbery? Up, up, and up.

And, the best you've been able to come up with has been a relentless, reality-defying "Blame New Hampshire" campaign and a feel-good, do-nothing gun buyback program, which, to this day, you hail as a "major success".

Now, have you looked at Lowell on a map recently?

Given its close proximity to the New Hampshire border, and its prime location right along the "Assault Weapons Pipeline" (aka: Route 3), how can it be that their crime rate has gone down? Following your "logic", I'd fully expect there to be no one left in the town, what with all the evil, mind-controlling, crime-causing guns that must surely be flooding the streets, and mowing down the innocent in numbers far beyond what we're seeing all the way down here in Boston.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot the ever-popular "Blame Mitt Romney" tactic. That one makes perfectly good sense to me, seeing how Boston is part of Massachusetts, and Lowell is part of...

Oh, wait.

Never mind.