Friday, June 16, 2006

Dumbass of the Day

Presented without commentary.

Officer's submachine gun stolen at game

DETROIT --A suburban police officer left a submachine gun in his unmarked vehicle while he attended a baseball game downtown, and returned to find it stolen, police said Thursday.

The narcotics officer from Oakland County's West Bloomfield Township left the weapon covered in the back seat of his Jeep while he attended a Detroit Tigers game Wednesday night at Comerica Park, West Bloomfield Police Chief Ron Cronin told local TV stations.

"He gets an `A' for stupidity in this case," Cronin said of the officer, whom he did not identify. "You can bet he's gonna be disciplined."

OK, maybe just a little commentary.

What a MORON!

What a FUCKING moron!

What a goddamn unbelievably bone-headed, fucking moron!!!

And, of course, I'm sure he'll be "disciplined" just as harshly as you or I would be for doing the same thing, right? Yeah...don't bet the house on it.

"...but some animals or more equal than others."

UPDATE: More here.

A West Bloomfield Police officer who took a department car and sub-machine gun to a Detroit Tigers game Wednesday night is under investigation.

Well, you certainly can't blame him for wanting to have a weapon with him in the crime-free city of Detroit. I know I would.

Between 8-10 p.m., as the officer attended the game, someone broke into the undercover car as it sat parked on Woodward and stole a 9 mm Colt SMG sub-machine gun from the back seat along with some ammunition, said Detroit Police Sgt. Omar Feliciano.

The gun is Colt's lightweight version of the M-16 rifle, according the gunmaker's Web site. It will fire all standard 9 mm bullets and is designed for close fights.

Yeah, I'll just stick that under a blanket on my back seat. What's the worst that could happen?

The West Bloomfield officer -- who both police departments declined to name -- is a three-year veteran.

OK, what's wrong with that sentence?

As a member of a special response team, he is expected to be on 24-hour alert, said West Bloomfield Township Lt. Carl Fuhs. The officer in theory should have his firearm nearby at all times, Fuhs said.

"Obviously we are not happy about this," Fuhs said. "He probably should not have left it in the back seat."


Here's where the story starts to smell like week-old cod.

When Detroit officers responded to the theft, the West Bloomfield officer declined to have the vehicle impounded or checked for fingerprints, Feliciano said.

Yeah, woudn't want to do that - might help the police catch catch your accomplice the guy.

Fuhs said his department will investigate the loss of the West Bloomfield gun and Police Chief Ronald D. Cronin will decide if a disciplinary action is needed.


That grinding sound you just heard was the wheels of justice coming to a slow, painful stop.

UPDATE II: Quote of the Day

This gem comes from reader Eric, via the comments to this post.

It seems the idiot who left his machine gun in the back seat isn't the only cop walking the streets of West Bloomfield, Michigan severely wanting in the clue department.

"The people who took it probably didn't even know it was a gun," said [West Bloomfield police chief Ronald] Cronin.

Your weekend homework assignment is to scroll up to the picture above, and tell me what else that object could possibly be mistaken for.

A novelty salt saker, perhaps?

Maybe, a canoe paddle?