MBTA to DNC, "F.U."

This is like breaking into a house, beating the homeowner, kicking his dog, and then asking if he has any iced tea.

BOSTON (AP) The head of the Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority quickly rejected a request by the state's congressional delegation to provide free subway service during the Democratic National Convention.

U.S. Sen. Edward Kennedy and the state's 10 congressmen all Democrats made the request in a letter sent Friday to MBTA general manager Michael Mulhern and Boston 2004 president David Passafaro, asking them to make subways free in downtown Boston during the four-day convention in July.

You'd expect more class from someone like Ted Kennedy.

Oh wait...never mind, the industrial shoe adhesive fumes seem to be dissipating slightly. I'm much better now. And on second thought, this is like asking Mr. Kopechne if he's got five bucks on him 'cause Mary Jo had said she'd pay for gas.

Iraqi Militia Channels Henry Rollins

OK, so maybe this is just a coincidence, but I'm getting some nice mental imagery of a pissed-off Henry Rollins (seemingly redundant phrase, I know) toting an AK-47 whacking terrorist scumbags. Mohammed, be afraid, be very afraid.

BAGHDAD—Twenty men slinging Kalashnikovs, Sterling sub-machineguns, and an assortment of pistols sauntered down a main street in the Baghdad neighborhood of al-Adhamiya one recent Friday afternoon ready for business. As locals watch anxiously, the men tore down pro-Baathist and anti-Coalition posters, a common sight in this pro-Saddam district. Then they replaced the posters with leaflets of their own, vowing attacks on "terrorists" and their allies in the name of a militia called the "Black Flag".

(original link via Clayton Cramer)

Two Words

Jason. Varitek.

Headline du Jour

From the Boston Globe:

Members of Phish decide it's time to cut bait

Follow-up trivia: Name the venue in which Phish played their first Boston gig (hint: they had a slot-hockey table and it was REALLY easy to pick up girls there).

This just in!

Judging from the headline to this article, I'm wondering if Christopher Young, the sportswriter for The Boston Phoenix, didn't just come out of a 15-year coma and submit whatever happened to be on his desk when he woke up.

The Celtics’ history be damned — they’re no longer the NBA’s marquee team

Whoa! Stop the presses! Say it ain't so!

Happy Endings

I just love stories with happy endings. From the MetroWest Daily News comes this lovely bit of news:

SHREWSBURY -- Two men suspected of up to 10 area bank robberies were in custody yesterday after three bank customers chased one of the men and wrestled him to the ground, police said.

I'm not one to judge a book by its cover, but looking at the picture of these two individuals, I'm gonna go with "guilty" on this one. Unfortunately though, every rose does have its thorn, just as this story contains these comments made by local law enforcement officials.

When asked whether armed security guards in a bank would deter potential robberies, both Sampson and Westborough Police Chief Alan Gordon were skeptical.

"If the person coming in doesn't have a weapon, then you've already introduced one," said Gordon. "If he were to disarm the security guard, then you've got a weapon that person can use."

Yeah, and if I were to shit gold coins, I'd be rich. This is a such a weak argument. Following Chief Gordon's logic, none of the officers under his command should be carrying sidearms. After all, all a person would have to do is disarm a police officer, then he'd have a gun he can use.

An individual who is intent on committing armed robbery WILL find an easier way to obtain a handgun than attempting to physically overpower an armed guard or, more likely, they will move on to an easier target - a bank with no armed security presence. Given the choice, they're gonna target the easy prey, knowing that the tellers are instructed to comply with their demands. Clearly that plan seems to have worked quite well for them in the past. They just didn't count on ordinary people actually standing up and protecting their community from scum such as them.

Kudos to those citizens involved with this arrest.

Disgrace Personified

Nice op-ed piece today from Jeff Jacoby - the only reason to actually read the Boston Globe (OK, that AND Red Sox coverage):

TWO WEEKS ago Senator Ted Kennedy uttered what may turn out to be the single most disgusting remark made about the United States in the course of the Iraq War. The reaction to his slander - or rather, the lack of reaction - speaks volumes about the moral bankruptcy of the American left.

The opening paragraph really says it all, but read the whole piece, it's worth it. If Jack Kennedy were alive today, there's no way he'd be falling in line with the "Democratic" Party of today. Dylan had it right - the times they are a-changing...bigtime.

When Kennedy appeared on NBC's "Today" program on May 13, it didn't even occur to host Matt Lauer to challenge him on the appalling equivalence he had drawn three days earlier.

Not that anyone was holding their breath waiting for THAT to happen.

There is nothing wrong with political passion. Nor is there anything wrong with criticizing the administration's conduct of the war. But accusing the US Army of being no better than Ba'athist torturers is not constructive criticism. Shrugging when a formidable politician broadcasts such a terrible libel is not responsible citizenship. Those are forms of propaganda, and propaganda in wartime is a lethal weapon. To turn that weapon against the United States is to give aid and comfort to the enemy.

Kennedy is a disgrace. I'm sitting here trying to come up with a wittier insult, some clever derogatory remark to describe our senior Senator, but he's just not worth the extra effort. He's a disgrace to United States of America and her values, and it's (way past) time for him to fade away.

UPDATE (5/26/04): here's a lovely bit of mildly-delusional leftist commentary on this subject, all too typical of the Massachusetts liberal mindset, courtesy of the Jenn Martinelli Experience:

Sorry, but I think that Ted Kennedy has a valid point. I love how we don't think it's OK to equate rape and sadistic treatment of Iraqi prisoners by American military personnel with rape and sadistic treatment of people by Saddam Hussein. What is the difference exactly? That it was fewer people? Did the US military torment them in a nicer way? Is it better to be raped by an American?

Jenn, sweetheart, you have to stop cutting the Prozac's in half. Take the WHOLE pill.

Conventional Wisdom (or lack thereof)

From the editorial page of the Wall Street Journal comes this piece on John Kerry's possible delay in officially accepting the party's nomination in order to make best use of the private campaign funds raised to-date.

Of course, the late July date was the Democratic Party's own choice--and it was selected precisely so it would let the nominee accept matching federal campaign funds a month earlier than President Bush, who will be nominated in late August. The assumption had been that the Democratic candidate would have run out of cash by this summer, but Mr. Kerry has been raising more money than he expected. In other words, Mr. Kerry embraced the rules when they helped him but now wants to ignore them when they don't.

In an interview on the subject, our esteemed senator described campaign finance reform and its implications here as "...silliness in the legal process...".

So, the campaign finance reform laws, once touted by the left as a way to keep the rich, evil corporate interests from controlling the political system, are just "silly" legal technicalities now that George Soros and his ilk are ponying up millions to help unseat President Bush.

This would be "silly" if this man wasn't actually trying to become the leader of the free world. We're well into "scary" here.

I understand, though, that laundering that much cash takes time. It's not like Kerry will ever EARN enough money to repay the $6,000,000 he borrowed from his "half" of the Louisburg Square estate (which, at 3.0% over 30 years comes to just over $25K/month). But that's another story for another day.

Crappy 80's Song of the Week

Oops, seems I skipped a week - been a little busy. So, here's a two-fer to illustrate the lyrical brilliance of Billy Squier.

The Stroke

Stroke me, stroke me
Give me the business all night long...

Rock Me Tonite

I want ya tonite - I want ya with me
Make me guilty of love in the first degree

Oooh, baby.

Those who can't teach...

Corruption, dishonesty and a lack of integrity among the ranks of the teachers' union? Shocking...just shocking! But hey, as long as it's "for the children", it must be OK so let's increase their funding...AGAIN. They mean well. Is it any wonder we're churning out a generation of "knuckleheads"?

LOS ANGELES (AP) At least 75 California teachers helped students cheat on standardized exams since a new testing program began five years ago, according to a newspaper report citing state documents.

Incidents include teachers who gave hints by drawing on the blackboard or leaving posters on the wall, told students the right answers and changed the students' responses themselves, the Los Angeles Times reported, referring to documents obtained through a Public Records Act request.

Remember this the next time Kerry's campaign criticizes the Bush camp for catering to the wants and needs of special interest groups and abandoning our nation's children. What do they think the California Teachers Association is, a charity organization? Gimme a break.

They need to keep the country's public education system in the toilet. Otherwise, the next generation of voters would actually be able to think for themselves and see today's Democratic party as the bastion of hypocrisy they've become.

Fuck 'em.

Must Have Been a Tense Standoff

More from the Poorly Written Headline Department:

"Sailor wanted after body of roommate found in Mass. surrenders"

After lengthy negotiations, the corpse went along quietly without a struggle, authorities say.

Consider this

From MSNBC, comes this AP story:

Headline: "Kerry would consider anti-abortion judges"

Let me just add to this that I would definitely consider sticking a hot fireplace poker up my ass.

(tip o' the tam to Stark Truth for the link)

No prior license plate-making experience required

Please don't let this story destroy your faith in the Massachusetts Registry of Motor Vehicles:

BOSTON -- Thirteen people face bribery and public corruption charges after a bust at the Registry of Motor Vehicles today, according to the state attorney general's office.

Those arrested included six current or former employees at Registry offices in Melrose, Watertown and Boston's Chinatown. Eleven were arrested today and two others face charges but have not been arrested yet.

The workers were allegedly part of a bribery scheme, selling illegal Massachusetts driver's licenses and permits without proper documentation to illegal immigrants and ineligible drivers. Sources said the bribes ranged from $200 to $1,900.

In the ethics-laden RMV? Hard to imagine, I know.

Lock 'em up. End of discussion. Move along.

Coz and Effect

Can a brother get an A-MEN?

"Ladies and gentlemen, the lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal. These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids – $500 sneakers for what? And won't spend $200 for 'Hooked on Phonics.'"

"They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English. I can't even talk the way these people talk: 'Why you ain't,' 'Where you is' ... And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk. And then I heard the father talk. ... Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. ... You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth!"

Who is responsible for these comments? Howard Stern? Trent Lott? Jay Severin?

Nope. Bill Cosby. Priceless stuff.

(original link via Ravenwood)

Closer to the Harp

Can someone give me one, just ONE good reason for choosing the Fleet Center over the brand new convention center in South Boston as the location for the Democratic National Convention this summer? I've been trying to come up with one valid reason for the decision to use this venue, and all I got is...

...it's closer to the BAHZ! (The Harp, Paddy Burke's, The Fours, Grand Canal, Irish Embassy, McGann's, etc.)

It can't be a question of the facility not being ready for operation by the time of the convention. Given the amount of money being spent/wasted/lost in conjunction with the Fleet Center planning, it would be ridiculously simple to accelerate the schedule of any remaining construction activities at the new convention center. The saying goes there isn't any problem that can't be fixed by throwing money at it. While this theory has proven to be less than accurate where our public school system is concerned, it couldn't ring more true in the construction industry.

By choosing the Fleet Center, it seems they're banking on the Big Dig being completed before the Conference Center. Not the smartest wager in town, a 50/50 shot at best.

This article on boston.com today highlights some more proposed security plans, adding insult to injury to what will already be a crippled downtown region.

The motoring public will have no access to surface parking lots anywhere near the FleetCenter during the Democratic National Convention, and parking garages in the area will be sharply restricted, according to draft plans set to be discussed at a special briefing for business leaders this morning.

In addition, all deliveries to businesses and offices in the area will have to be made before 2 p.m. every day during convention week, the last week of July. Delivery truck drivers will have to park outside the area known as Bulfinch Triangle -- bounded by Merrimac, Causeway, and North Washington streets -- and wheel or carry in all supplies.

The proposed restrictions on parking and deliveries, as well as the full closure of Causeway Street, are all being mulled because of security concerns. Officials earlier announced the late-afternoon-through-evening closure of Interstate 93, North Station commuter rail, and the area subway stop, to thwart a possible terrorist attack.

Put this one on the top of the "WTF" file. I wonder if the emergency preparedness planning taking place around the convention includes scenarios involving emergency access and egress at the neighboring Mass. General Hospital. Best of luck to our local EMT's and ambulance drivers.

Commuters put off by the closing of area parking garages and surface parking lots, have no fear. There will be ample parking available in the newly-created parking lot - called Storrow Drive. When that lot fills up, just cross the river (good luck) and park in the new Memorial Drive parking lot.

Crime Control in the Bay State

With judges like this, who needs enemies?

A Dorchester teen accused of botching a hit on a witness who had testified to seeing him murder a man is back on the streets thanks to a doubtful judge.

Fighting crime in Massachusetts (a two-step program):

• Prevent, or at the very least, discourage, law-abiding citizens from carrying firearms for self-defense by enacting overly-restrictive gun control laws.


• Keep the violent criminals, prone to blatant disregard for said gun control laws, on the street where they can purchase any gun they want and freely ply their trade.

Until the Commonwealth starts taking the concept of criminal control seriously, they can take all their "common sense" gun control laws and stick them up their collective dirt chute. But wait, there's more. No story like this would be complete without a plea for sympathy and compassion for the accused.

Parrish's attorney, Jessica Hedges, said the teen made bail. He is working toward obtaining a GED and is working as an apprentice woodworker.

"He's focused," Hedges said.

Focused? What the hell is that supposed to mean. Manson was "focused" for Christ's sake! And can we PLEASE do something about the use of the word "teen" when referring to a 19-year-old, fully grown, ADULT thug? To imply he's just some misunderstood kid is an insult to anyone with two brain cells to rub together.

Tomahawk this, baby!

The Big Unit, Randy Johnson, kicked some ass tonight.

ATLANTA (AP) -- Arizona's Randy Johnson became the oldest pitcher in major league history to throw a perfect game, retiring all 27 hitters to lead the Diamondbacks over the Atlanta Braves 2-0 Tuesday night.

Not too shabby there.

Why bother?

What's the point of arming your armored car drivers if they're going to hand over their sidearms at the first sign of trouble?

BOSTON -- Officials believe they may have a security-camera photo of the man who ambushed two armored car guards outside Bunker Hill Community College, fleeing with their .38-caliber revolvers and an undetermined amount of money.

Show of hands - how many of you, if employed as an armored car driver, would see to it that your .38 was carried as a BACK-UP piece? Hey, there's a concept.

When this story broke, all the TV and radio news outlets were running with this little bit of misinformation (from the Boston Herald):

Initial reports had the robber armed with two AK-47 assault rifles, but authorities said they believe the man was carrying just two handguns when he confronted the guards at the ATM.

How is it possible to mistake two handguns for two AK-47's? If this information came from the guards involved, then these guys are too stupid to be carrying in the first place.

Of course, now the champions of the Assault Weapons Ban can use this as proof that the ban works - as if having the criminals opt for handguns, shotguns, or hunting (read: not scary-looking) rifles, instead of evil assault (read: scary-looking) rifles, will make our streets safer.

Now, gentle readers, let's suppose that this individual WAS, in fact, armed with two AK-47's. No doubt, this event would then be used as proof that the AWB needs to be extended and strengthened. Funny how they'd be able to spin any news story to fit their agenda. You'd think they were John Kerry supporters. Oh wait...never mind.

Wait...you mean Saddam lied?

From the AP comes this interesting item out of Baghdad:

BAGHDAD, Iraq (AP) A roadside bomb containing deadly sarin nerve agent exploded near a U.S. military convoy, the U.S. military said Monday. It was believed to be the first confirmed finding of any of the banned weapons upon which the United States based its case for the Iraq war.

Any guesses as to how the anti-war pro-Saddam left will spin this? Then there's this:

It was unclear if the sarin shell was from chemical rounds that the United Nations had tagged and marked for destruction before the U.S. invasion.

Does this matter? If it was, it proves that not all these weapons were destroyed per the requirements of the UN resolution. If it wasn't, it proves how useless the UN inspections were in the first place.

Kerrying on

Please don't let this destroy your faith in the junior senator from Massachusetts. But it seems that John Kerry, who has come out in public AGAINST gay marriage is still trying to swing both ways on the issue (no pun intended...well, maybe slightly intended).

WASHINGTON -- Senator John F. Kerry met privately yesterday with gay-rights groups to fortify a tenuous peace between his presidential campaign, which is seeking to neutralize gay marriage as a political wedge issue, and gay leaders who share feelings of anger and resignation toward Kerry for opposing the marriages that will begin in his home state Monday.

Kerry reminded the leaders that he has one of the most supportive voting records on gay-related legislation in the Senate and that he would champion their causes as president, Kerry aides and gay leaders said yesterday.

Translation: Kerry reminded the leaders that he would tell the American public he could shoot gold bricks out of his ass if it would help him get elected.

Too bad Air America isn't hiring

Wow. It takes a special kind of assclown to make Al Franken seem funny these days:

PORTLAND - The radio station KNRK at 94.7 FM is issuing an apology to its listeners after talk show hosts Marconi, Tiny and sidekick Nickie J. laughed at and ridiculed the beheading of American Nick Berg.

The three were fired Thursday afternoon, after airing the audio recording of Berg's murder repeatedly on Wednesday and laughing at the incident.

Three more names added to the list of people on whom I wouldn't waste a perfectly good mouthful of spit.

The pride of Morrisey Boulevard

Why let annoying little things like facts and journalistic ethics get in your way when you're trying to bash the President, undermine the war on terror, and fuel the fires of anti-Americanism around the world, while pushing your liberal agenda with your newspaper? Ask the Boston Globe.

Via Hoystory, THIS is priceless - read the whole thing.

Boston residents got more than they bargained for this morning when their copy of the Globe came complete with graphic photos depicting U.S. troops gang-raping Iraqi women.

Problem is the photos are fake. They were taken from pornographic websites and disseminated by anti-American propagandists, as first reported by WND a week ago.

[snip]

The photos accompanied an article about Boston city councilor Chuck Turner, who distributed the graphic photographs yesterday at a press conference with activist Sadiki Kambon. Turner told reporters the photos showed U.S. soldiers raping Iraqi women

"The American people have a right and responsibility to see the pictures," Turner said.

Um...as an adult living in this country, I already have the right to view pornography whenever I want. As far as responsibilities are concerned, I have more important things to do like raising my children and providing them with food, clothing, and shelter, and teaching them to be wary of leftist, self-absorbed, race-baiting, Bush-bashing douchebags like Mr. Turner, but I'm glad the city councilor has my best interests at heart.

Kambon, who is director of the Black Community Information Center, said at the news conference he received the photographs by e-mail from Akbar Muhammad, a representative for the Nation of Islam.

And they weren't legitimate photographs??? I'm shocked!

The Globe was provided with a statement by Muhammad who wrote, "There aren't any doubts in my mind about the reports on torture of Iraqi prisoners. All you have to do is look at the pictures of Saddam Hussein after his capture when he was being examined on television across the world. He appeared to be drugged and unaware that he was being filmed to be humiliated and disgraced in front of the entire world."

[snip]

In the letter given to the globe, Muhammad termed reservists, "raving beasts," and added, "I was fortunate enough to make copies of the pictures before they became unavailable on the Internet."

Yeah, you know how once pictures like this hit the internet, that's the end of 'em. Just ask Paris Hilton.

Muhammad also called for the resignation of Rumsfeld.

No word yet from City hall if anyone's calling for Turner's resignation.

Turner and Kambon told the Globe they don't know where or when the photos they distributed yesterday were taken. But Turner said they came from a "very legitimate person."

Yeah...um...OK.

MORE: It gets better. Drudge has a scan of the picture that ran in the Globe. Remember, this is the paper that chose not to run the Doonesbury strip in which a character yells "Son of a bitch!" out of fear of offending its readers.

So if you're keeping track at home, that's "Graphic Photographs of Vaginal Penetration and Oral Sex" - GOOD. The word "Bitch" - BAD.

UPDATE: Previously archived pic posted (11/30/05).

I'm just a gigolo...

Can somebody PLEASE bitch-slap J. Flipper Kerry and explain to him that this ain't Survivor, and Teresa isn't wearing any kind of immunity necklace. From the Washington Times:

Having twice used her immense wealth to rescue her second husband's faltering political career, Mrs. Heinz Kerry now claims a highly dubious "right to privacy." Her failure to disclose her returns would make her the first spouse to shield this information in the three decades during which presidential and vice presidential candidates and their spouses have routinely made this information public. Mr. Kerry, who has twice exploited his wife's wealth in the past and stands ready to benefit from it again if she makes good her threat to unleash an "independent" issue-ads campaign, once again expects to have it both ways, just as he has done on matters of policy.

Bottom line: There's no way they'll allow her tax returns to be made public. Where you and I might have a few skeletons in our closets, I suspect it's fossilized Brontosaurus remains lurking in the armoire of the Louisburg Square master suite.

Read the whole piece, then submit your best guess as to how Kerry's gonna raise the scratch to repay that "loan". I hear there's good money to be made in the gigolo trade.

(original link via Viking Pundit)

UPDATE: Now it appears as though she will be releasing the first two pages of her tax return some time in October. I'm sure that from the third page on, there's really not much interesting at all. Yeah, right.

If her full returns ever get released, I predict there's enough dirt in there to sink not only Kerry's shot at the White House, but also his chances of getting re-elected to his senate seat, even in the liberal enclave of Massachusetts.

Life in the Utopian City of Cambridge

You've heard the expression, "A conservative is a liberal who's been mugged", but what do you call a naive liberal who gets mugged and continues to think and act like a naive liberal? Read here about "Brian's First Mugging". Here are some highlights:

They started towards my walking trajectory. One faster than the other, as to get on either side of my path. My instincts at that point sounded the alarm. That's not right. My liberal side kicked in "Don't stop walking because they're black. They're dressed cleanly, although very urban, that doesn't mean they're going to do anything. Lots of people mindlessly walk into people's path."

Yep, nothing like allowing your politically correct, leftist upbringing to override your body's own natural, instinctive self-defense mechanisms, and getting your ass mugged because of it.

I get out of there promptly. Honestly surprised. Not so bad for being "violated." Is this the feeling of violation? Why did they do this?

Why the scare quotes around "violated"? Granted, it was a violation of a much smaller scale than violent rape, or a brutal beating, but yes, you were violated. Wanna know why? Because they knew they could get away with it. They did it because it's the People's Republik of Cambridge, one of the hardest places outside Washington DC or Chicago in which to obtain a permit to carry a firearm to defend one's self from scum like this. They knew that two guys with a knife will trump one guy with no gun any day.

They didn't look like typical thieves.

Which would look like what exactly? Was it because they weren't wearing black ninja suits with ski masks?

They were dressed cleanly. They probably wore those clothes to school. They weren't thorough, and almost polite. I must have been lucky with a couple of rookies. Their whole life of crime ahead of them. They were probably a little scared, too. But as the street would teach, they hid it well. You never show weakness.

You want to know a good way to not show weakness? Draw down on these kids with a .38 and tell 'em to fuck off.

I walk quickly to the train, and get on with little delay. I didn't call the cops, rather back to the store so they could alert mall security. I wasn't concerned too much with the police, as I was with preventing this from happening again that night to someone else.

By NOT calling the police? How exactly is that going to prevent this from happening to someone else?

Security could do that. Their presence alone deters. People, attention deters. But, the cops would likely not catch them, unless they were really stupid and hung around there.

Ah, yes, of course. By alerting mall security, you're ridding the neighboring streets of violent crime. Brilliant. They did such a fabulous job of deterring this crime once already.

When I got home, there was a message from the store that the police responded to their call instead of Mall Security. The cops usually have a presence in the mall. They want me to call them directly a file a report, because despite my description has passed along by the store, they can't file a report with anything less than a first hand description. I haven't called yet. I'm debating as to whether its even worth it.

Yeah, you're probably right. Better to let these kids continue assaulting people at their whim. It's one thing to be OK with your government telling you that you have no right to defend yourself from armed criminals, but it's just asinine to roll up in a ball and do absolutely nothing about it after the fact. You think the problem's gonna go away if you close your eyes and sing "Hands Across America"?

Mugging seems like such a nice word. Armed robbery with a deadly weapon is pretty fearsome. It turns out that this is one of the most common offenses in this area of Cambridge, in fact the biggest other than vandalism. But the analysis doesn't make me feel any better, because I and some many others have to walk that path twice daily.

So you get mugged by some knife-wielding thugs and do NOTHING about it, except to ask yourself why these nicely dressed young men would do such a thing. Don't be too surprised when it happens to you again. Maybe you'll want to bring them a snack next time so the three of you can sit down and discuss there societal woes over a couple croissants.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

File this under "Mandatory Sentencing Bad".

HARLAN, Iowa (AP) A woman who shot her abusive husband, then left his body in their home for more than a year, was sentenced Monday to 50 years in prison by a judge who said the mandatory sentence was unjust.

Unjust? Man, that's the understatement of the year.

Smith said Shanahan shot her husband, Scott, after suffering 18 years of abuse. "No human should have to put up with that," the judge said.
[snip]
Shanahan claimed she acted in self-defense when she killed her husband at the end of three days of beatings. She said he was angry because she was pregnant with their third child and refused to get an abortion.

But prosecutors said Scott Shanahan had gone back to bed and was not an immediate threat when he was killed.

These prosecutors need to be publicly hung from their nutsacks. After THREE days of beatings, the asshole lies down to go to sleep (hey, wife-beating can take a lot out of a guy). If this was the woman's only window of opportunity for taking him out, than by all means, she should have acted on it. I don't care if the guy's on the can taking a dump, or passed out cold in a Wild Turkey-induced coma - eighteen years of systematic beating qualifies as a 24-hour immediate threat in my book.

I think it's safe to say, that once this scumbag was well-rested, he'd go right back to beating the snot out of her. The prosecutors of this case would rather have her wait patiently for him to wake up and resume pummeling her before defending herself from this animal. Sick fuckers. Pardon my language, but this pisses me off. If someone is shooting at you, would you not be allowed to shoot back between shots? How about while your attacker is reloading? After all, he's busy loading his gun, and not an immediate threat.

Dixie Shanahan initially told police that her husband left her, but his skeletal remains were found in a spare bedroom more than a year later.

Um...OK, maybe that wasn't the smartest move on her part.

50 Cent channels Chevy Chase

Try not to let this destroy your faith in the hip hop generation:

A whole dollar won't get rap star 50 Cent invited back to Springfield's Hippodrome anytime soon, thanks to a melee in which the club owner says the hip-hopper jumped from the stage to take on a belligerent spectator.

[snip]

Barrasso said it took security guards and two extra-duty police officers to push the rapper - who was carrying a pellet gun loaded with rubber BB bullets in a chic Gucci holster - back on stage.

From "National Lampoon's Vacation":

Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld (John Candy): That's not a real gun, is it Clark?

Clark (Chevy Chase): Are you kidding this is a Magnum P.I.

He was (Boston) Robbed!

OK, I feel obligated to say something after last night's big "Survivor All-Stars" finale, in which Boston Rob came took second place, despite the fact that he DOMINATED that game. He shouldn't have wussed out like that last night being all apologetic and shit. So you hurt the feelings egos of the players you voted off on your way to the top - so friggin' what? From the Boston Globe:

The passive half of the season's power couple, Brkich prevailed by a single vote over fellow finalist Rob. And she was anointed by one of the series' most ambivalent and hostile juries ever. The final tribal council was a volcano of bitter feelings, as Lex, Kathy, Alicia, and Big Tom tore into Rob for his serial betrayals. "You have not outclassed us," Alicia said. "You used your friendships as steppingstones," Kathy said.

"You sold out your values, you sold out your character, you sold out your friends for a stack of greenbacks," Lex said.

IT'S JUST A GAME! Get a grip, people! You all got played by Mariano like a $2 scratch ticket. Deal with it.

Rob, you're the man!

Lex, you're a tool.

One more highlight from this article - noteworthy for its phonetically accurate reporting.

If you heard a strange noise a little after 10 p.m., it was a collective sigh from the direction of Canton, Rob's hometown. It was a sigh of disappointment when their boy lost, after host Jeff Probst announced Brkich's name live from Madison Square Garden. And it was a sigh of pleasure that Rob had secured his beloved Am-buh, after she accepted his televised marriage proposal made only moments before she won.

That's pissah, dude.

UPDATE: Not to be outdone, the Boston Herald's Survivor story from today includes this gem of a sentence:

Prior to the announcement of the winner and the surprise marriage proposal, Brkich and the Canton native had to endure one of the wickedest tribal councils since the first season.

That's wikkid pissah, dude.

It was thirty years ago today...

One of the top bands in the "You love 'em or hate 'em" category, Rush, is celebrating their 30th anniversary this year with a tour that will see them playing in front of European audiences for the first time in quite a while. Here's a decent piece on this from Billboard Magazine.

NEW YORK (Billboard) - Geddy Lee didn't know it at the time, but on his 21st birthday -- July 29, 1974 -- he and his bandmates hit a career lottery.

That was the day Neil Peart joined Lee and Alex Lifeson in their band Rush. When Peart replaced drummer John Rutsey, he cemented a lineup for the Toronto-based trio that has lasted for 30 years, with Lifeson on guitar and Lee on bass and lead vocals.

This brings us to the trivia question at hand, which will replace this week's "Crappy 80's Song of the Week" post. Name another rock band that has stayed together at least 30 years, while continuing to release new music and tour without ever changing their line-up.

Hint - it's not the Rolling Stones. They had about 17 years between Ron Wood joining the band and Bill Wyman jumping ship.

Rachel Lucas Returns

Rachel Lucas, who had "retired" from the blogosphere before I entered it has returned. If you want to know why she's been missed, check out her recent commentary on retrieving her old archives:

Update: I finally made my archives work, mostly. God, how embarrassing. If you don't blog, or even if you do but you're not filled with self-loathing for your own writing, you can't imagine how exquisitely painful it is to read stuff you wrote in the past and to see quite clearly that you yourself are actually a gigantic assbiscuit, cheesy and dorky in all your keyboard-thumping glory. Or maybe it's just me.

She's ba-a-a-ack. And if the word "assbiscuit" doesn't make you laugh out loud, seek immediate medical attention - there's something seriously wrong with you.

Better Late Than Never

Took 'em long enough, though. Pedophile priest (sorry...alleged pedophile priest) Paul Shanley has been defrocked.

BOSTON (AP) -- Paul Shanley, a key figure in the clergy sexual abuse scandal in the Boston Archdiocese, has been defrocked, according to a document obtained by The Associated Press.

Now let's just hope that after his trial in October, he gets put away for a long, long, long time. I'm sure he'll be real popular with the fellas. He's about to learn a whole new definition of the word "defrocked".

Spiderman in Red Square

OK, this might just be the biggest non-news story of the year.

In the latest example of a sponsor's stamp on the sports world, ads for the movie "Spider-Man 2" will be placed atop bases at 15 major league ballparks during games from June 11-13.

Here's what the ad is comprised of:

The ads, about 4-by-4-inches with a red background and yellow webbing, won't appear on home plate.

The only reason this has any chance of being a successful advertising campaign, is because it's been picked up by every news outlet in the free world. How the hell is a 4-inch square going to convey its message to anyone watching on TV or sitting in the stands? At best, you would be able to discern that it is, in fact, a square-shaped marking on the base, and that it's some shade of red.

It's actually quite a genius bit of marketing, create a "controversy", and get the enlarged image of your ad splashed all over the TV and the internet. It worked for Moveon.org's proposed Super bowl ads. Also, check out this rationale behind the ad campaign:

"We need to reach out to a younger demographic to bring them to the ballpark," Parkes said. "They are looking for nontraditional breakthrough ways to convey 'Spider-Man' messaging. ... It's the future of how we generate excitement inside the stadium and about the game itself."

By putting little red squares on the bases? Are you high? Do you really want to attract a younger crowd? How about doing something about ticket prices so that maybe, just maybe, the average working stiff could actually afford to take his kids to a ball game.

"Daddy, Daddy, can we go to the Red Sox game this weekend? I want to see those little four-inch red squares on the bases. That would be real keen! I've never seen four-inch red squares before!"

Sheesh.

UPDATE (5/7/04): Well, surprise, surprise, surprise!

A day after announcing a promotion to put advertisements on bases next month, Major League Baseball reversed course yesterday and eliminated that part of its "Spider-Man 2" marketing deal.

No shit, Sherlock. There's no way I'm the only one who sees this latest turn of events as nothing more than how this was planned all along. Why pay for an expensive ad campaign when you can get the national media to do it for you? If the Associated Press wants to promote your product worldwide for free, you'd have to be a moron of epic proportion to pay anyone for a smaller-scale promotion. Notice though, at first glance, this write-up makes it appear as if Major League Baseball was the party who pulled the plug on this, but we read a little further to find:

"(President of worldwide marketing for the Columbia Tri-Star Motion Picture Group, Geoffrey) Ammer said his group approached baseball about pulling the bases promotion."

File this one under "Duh".

File under "What did you expect?"

Bad guy walks into convenience store. Bad guy brandishes a handgun. Bad guy pistol whips clerk and makes off with an undisclosed amount of cash. Bad guy is later arrested and charged with aggravated robbery. And this happened in Ohio, a state that recently passed legislation allowing its citizens to carry concealed firearms for their personal protection. Surely this must be an example of the "wild wild west bloodbaths in the streets" scenario the gun control crowd predicted, right?

Think again. Compare this story from the Akron Beacon Journal with the version from the Ohioans for Concealed Carry website (with pictures).

It's shocking I tell you...just shocking! What's this world coming to when an individual out to commit armed robbery in the middle of the day doesn't even have the decency to leave his gun in the car...just like the nice sign said.

Hey, why don't banks just post a $5 sign on the door that says "No Bank Robbing Allowed Here"? Think of all the money they'd save in security costs. It's brilliant! Why haven't they thought of this sooner? And why don't women, if they have to go out alone at night, just wear a button that says "No Raping Allowed". Think of all the violent crime we can prevent!

Morons.

Crappy 80's Song of the Week

"The Final Countdown" by Europe

The first "hair band" to make my list. The gloves are off now. Look out!

More "scary gun" BS

With the debate currently underway on strengthening the Massachusetts ban on certain (scary-looking) semiautomatic rifles, State Senator Jarrett T. Barrios has an op-ed piece in today's Boston Globe. Too much garbage to bother copying the entire text here, but here's the money quote:

Let's be clear. Semiautomatic assault weapons have no self-protection purpose. Unlike rifles and other recreational firearms, they have no sporting purpose. The constitutional right to own guns has never been found to extend to military-designed weapons of mass destruction.

Let's be clear. You are an ignoramus, Senator.

I'm not holding my breath waiting for the Globe to print my reply, but here it is. I had to get it down to close to 200 words from the original 500 or so it started as.

After reading Senator Barrios' op-ed piece on the proposed state “assault weapons” ban (Assault weapons must be banned - again, May 4, 2004), I have just one question. Would Senator Barrios have felt better if the victims of the Wakefield shooting had been shot with the shotgun or handgun Michael McDermott was carrying that day?

Senator Barrios is trying to differentiate between semiautomatic rifles that look scary and semiautomatic rifles that are used for hunting and sporting purposes. The fact is that the difference between the two is largely one of cosmetics, not of functionality. He is doing a great disservice to his constituency with this deliberate distortion of the truth, and by employing phrases such as "military-designed weapons of mass destruction". This ban has nothing to do with fully automatic machine guns, which he would very much like the uneducated public to believe.

We could engage in a "my statistics can beat up your statistics" debate, but the bottom line is: Criminals don't obey laws, it's part of their job description. To pretend that just a few more "common-sense" gun control laws could have prevented the shooting in Wakefield, or make us all immune to gun violence, is to dismiss logic and embrace ignorance.

UPDATE: Raging Dave has this post up from Sen. Barrios' counterpart at the Seattle Times...and nicely tears him a new one over it.