Sunday, April 30, 2006


This was the first month I went over 20,000 site visits in a single month. Something I posted back on the 18th apparently caught the eye of more than a few folks.

So ... um ... yay for me, I guess.

Pass the 'Gansett.

Words to Live By (and Music to Drink To)

"Don't let age put years on you."

Don't Forget to Write

Words & Music by Tony Small
Tony Small: Guitar & Vocals
Padraig Stevens: Percussion
Eoin Duignan: Whistle
John Brown: Guitar & Bass

From the "Mighty Session!" CD.

My favorite cut from the CD, by far, is The Masquerade, featuring Eoin Duignan on the whistle and uileann pipes. If you're planning a trip to Irealnd in the near future, set your itinerary to include a Thursday night at the Small Bridge Pub in Dingle.

You will not be disappointed.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

It's "Common Sense"

Ban walking!

A sexual predator remained on the loose after attacking a woman walking alone yesterday morning through the Blue Hills Reservation and sexually assaulting her, state police said.

Friday, April 28, 2006

When Life Imitates CSI

Nice shootin', Tex.

SEATTLE --Police fired a bullet directly into one of the chambers of a gun wielded by an angry man as they shot him to death in a confrontation at a bus stop, authorities said.

The man never fired his gun, but the fluke police shot showed he was aiming it, said Deputy Police Chief Clark S. Kimerer.

"Physically, I believe, it is impossible to conclude anything other than the fact that the suspect was pointing a weapon directly at the officers," Kimerer said.

Should eliminate any doubts in that regard.

Police said the 18-year-old man became belligerent after a fight with his girlfriend on Tuesday and raised his gun at officers responding to a call from a concerned storekeeper. Authorities said they ordered the man to put his gun down, but he refused.

Ahhh...another innocent "child" killed by a violent gun.

Officers fired a total of about four shots from their .40-caliber Glock handguns, authorities said. One of their bullets entered one of the chambers of the man's .38-caliber revolver, shoving the bullet inside backwards, said Kimerer.

Stay tuned for the impending cries of, "You see? The police didn't have to kill the guy! Why can't this be standard operating procedure?"

Contest Time

You're the judge.

This scumbag is standing before you awaiting sentencing.

A man was charged Thursday with murder after police said he tossed his 9-month-old son from a car, slammed the baby onto the vehicle's hood and then threw him into a canal.

You have been granted a one-time dispensation to disregard the Eighth Amendment (that whole "cruel and unusual punishment" deal).

In 10 words, or less, what is his sentence?

I'll go first.

Firecracker. Rectum. Rubbing alcohol.

Some assembly required.

Repeat until dead.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Like I Need Another Timewaster

Check out

Search an address. Then, click on "See home details" in the little pop-up label.

Ok, I thought it was pretty cool.

Dear Fox News:

If you would be so kind as to refrain from spamming my blog's comments with links to your own content, again, it would be much appreciated.

Thank you.

p.s. Is web traffic at down to the point where you have to spam my blog to get readers? Sad, dude.

(click for full-size image)

Puttin' the Dead Back In Deadbeat

...or, at least, trying to.

Dad allegedly shoots at son's computer

DUNEDIN, Fla. --A father fed up with his son for spending too much time on the computer, allegedly fired shots at the monitor, authorities said.

That'll teach little Timmy to blow off his math homework.

Langenderfer allegedly told deputies he was angry that his son had neglected the laundry and was spending all his time playing computer games. He told deputies the gun accidentally fired and the bullet hit the wall a few feet from where his son, Tim, was sitting.

It "accidentally fired". Uh-huh.

Tim, 22, called...

Excuse me??? Please tell me that was a typo, and that little Timmy is, in fact, only 12.

Tim, 22, called 911 and said he and his dad were arguing and his dad had just shot at him.

So, the father's a raving nutjob, and it turns out little Timmy is a 22-year-old who still lives with his parent(s) and spends the better part of his days playing video games.

Insert obligatory movie quote here.

RSVP Not Applicable

From the editorial desk of the Boston Globe:

...Boston Mayor Thomas Menino and New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, who hosted this week's summit, are promising to lead a national campaign against gun violence and recruit at least 50 mayors to the cause by year's end.

I wonder if they'll extend an invitation to Mayor Berman of Gilbert, Arizona for their next "gun (control) summit".

Probably not.

When Double-Dongs Are Outlawed...

Earlier this month (posts here and here), I mentioned how unlikely it would be for someone to confuse South Carolina for Massachusetts anytime soon.

Well, this post from Lee at Right-Thinking from the Left Coast adds yet another reason to that list. Though, in this case, it's the Bay State that comes out on top in the common sense rankings.

From the Charlotte Observer:

Bill would make sale of sex toys illegal in South Carolina

The South Carolina bill, proposed by Republican Rep. Ralph Davenport, would make it a felony to sell devices used primarily for sexual stimulation and allow law enforcement to seize sex toys from raided businesses.

After which, the seized devices will be promptly destroyed.

Yeah, right.

The ACLU got involved in the case, [ACLU attorney, Mark Lopez] said, to "keep the government out of the bedroom."

Unless, of course, the government wants to steal the handgun from your bedside pistol safe. The ACLU's been remarkably silent on that front.

Though the laws don't punish people for owning sex toys, banning their sale is a backdoor attempt to discourage their use, Lopez said.

Nice choice of phrasing there.

No word on whether or not an exemption has been included "for a bona fide medical, scientific, educational, legislative, judicial or law enforcement purpose." And just think, for once, a "sporting purposes" clause would have made sense.

This Just In!

Actor Kevin Costner accused of indecent acting.

This is news? Have these people not seen Waterworld? Or The Postman?

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

24 - The Morning A While After

Episode 19: 1:00 AM to 2:00 AM

Bruce's Five-Point Review

1. OK, show of hands. How many of you think Heller actually went into the drink?

Now, how many of you think he bailed at the last second?

I'm going with "bailed" (with fingers crossed).

"But, Mom! All the cool kids are faking their own death! Jack did it!"

2. I knew the old DHS broad would come around. I don't hold the same hope for Miles (anagram of slime). It will be nice to watch Chloe knee him in the nuts (or lack thereof) later on. Maybe we could get Miles to head up the tactical team going over to Buchanan's house to take her into custody, and she'd get another chance to unload an M-4 into someone's sorry ass.

3. Good move by Jack there, puttin' the Magic Anti-Terror HoodieTM up, grabbing a couple suitcases, and just nonchalantly walking up the ramp and onto the plane at the end of the hour. No way anyone would possibly suspect he wasn't a real baggage handler. I know I was convinced.

From the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler:

Nobody is going to suspect somebody dressed up like the Unabomber, carrying two large suitcases with unknown contents toward the open cargo bay of a diplomatic flight, after all.

4. Good thing Curtis finished that two-hour dump when he did. Thank God he didn't take the Daily News and the LA Times into the shitter with him.

5. Screw it. I'm going to bed. I owe you one.

Yes, More Gun Summit "Reporting"

From Mayor Menino's PR Office the Boston Globe:

Menino said in 12 years as mayor he has not seen a similar movement by big city leaders to take on the gun industry and stiffen federal gun laws.

God forbid, Tom, you and your gun-grabbing cohorts should ever decide to take on the criminal offenders, or stiffen sentencing guidelines for the same.

Menino said the mayors intend to travel to Washington with a message about the relationship between gun laws and the thousands of Americans who die at the hands of firearms annually.

No doubt, he'll be sure the mention the decrease in the nationwide violent crime rate that has happened concurrently with more and more states loosening their restrictions on the rights of law-abiding citizens to carry concealed weapons for self-defense purposes.

Or the relationship between the violent crime rates and the "report card" grades handed out by the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence for the six states that make up New England.

Note: These numbers are from 2004. If anyone has
more current data, feel free to forward it to me.

Or not.

And, from the Department of Numeric-Rectal Extractions, comes this claim by New York Mayor, and gun summit co-host, Michael Bloomberg:

...1 percent of gun dealers supply 60 percent of guns used in crimes.

No doubt, he also presented documentation to back up his assertion.

Or not.

And, I'm sure Menino and Bloomberg welcomed input from both sides of the gun rights debate, in the interest of fairness and all.

Lawrence G. Keane, a senior vice president at the National Shooting Sports Foundation, a Connecticut-based trade association, said his organization runs a program that helps gun dealers identify and stop illegal ''straw purchasers," people who buy guns legally with the intention of selling them illegally. Keane said his group asked to attend the gun summit and was turned away, which he found especially disturbing because the mayors invited gun control advocate Joshua Horwitz of the Coalition to Stop Gun Violence.

Or not.

"There doesn't appear to have been any attempt to have a mature and balanced discussion," Keane said.

Shocking, I know.

A study, released Monday and conducted by researchers from the University of Toledo, Kent State University, and Wayne State University, shows police chiefs across the country also support tougher gun-control measures.

Something tells me the results of this survey taken by the National Association of Chiefs of Police were not presented to the gun summit attendees (nor the writers and editors at the Globe).

3. Should any law-abiding citizen be able to purchase a firearm for sport or self-defense? YES 93.6%

4. Within the past year, has your agency been called upon to arrest anyone who has made a false statement on an application to purchase a firearm? NO 92.2%

5. Should anyone (such as a convicted felon) in violation of state or federal firearm possession laws, be prosecuted by the U.S. Attorney and, if convicted, receive a maximum prison term? YES 89.7%

6. Do you believe law-abiding citizens should be limited to the purchase of no more than one firearm per month? NO 72.8%

7. Do you maintain that criminals currently are able to obtain basically any type of firearm by illegal means? YES 96.1%

8. Do you believe the application & training process to allow commercial airline pilots to carry firearms in the cockpit is too restrictive and burdensome? NO 53.6%

9. Will a national concealed handgun permit reduce rates of violent crime as recent studies in some states have already reflected? YES 63.1%

Call it a hunch.

Menino said the mayors tried to learn from one another.

And what better way to "learn" than to have your discussions closed off to those with differing viewpoints? This would be like President Bush sitting down with the CEO's of all the big oil companies to discuss the pros and cons of solar-powered cars.

As the mayors came to the podium to share stories about innocent children killed by stray gunfire, the day's theme became clear: America's mayors are on the front lines.


It's the law-abiding citizens who have been rendered defenseless by their "leaders" who are on the "front lines" - you know, the people who actually live in these crime-ridden neighborhoods, as opposed to the mayor who shows up on occasion for a little free publicity with his armed security detail and TV news camera crews in tow.

What a joke.

I hope Mike and Tom offered all the mayors and gun control lobbyists who attended this anti-gun circlejerk a complimentary sanitizing handwipe on their way out the door.

Protecting One's Investment

Looks like it's about time to re-introduce my solution to rising gas prices (NEW LOW PRICE - just $2.99 + shipping).

Disclaimer: Please be sure check with your local law enforcement agencies for any laws or regulations that may be in effect in your community, as they pertain to your ability to legally discharge a firearm on your property and your right to shoot someone in your driveway who's siphoning gas out of your car.

The Joys of Taxpayer-Funded Handouts

But, it's FREEEE!

LOS ANGELES, California (Reuters) -- Some California drivers are resorting to desperate measures to beat the surge in gas prices at the pump -- deliberately running dry on the state's freeways and simply waiting for rescue.

"Every time fuel goes up, we start noticing it. But right now we are noticing it a lot more," Andy Lujan, owner of California Coach Towing in Orange County, said Tuesday.

Lujan's 20 trucks roam the busy freeways of Orange and Los Angeles counties as part of a publicly funded patrol that gives a free gallon of gas to drivers who have run out of fuel. It also offers other basic assistance to drivers whose vehicles have broken down.

So, if I can get up to 100 miles of free towing as part of my AAA-Plus roadside assistance coverage (which I'm actually PAYING for), what's to stop me from "breaking down" on my way back from my parents' house in Maine, and getting towed back to my driveway in Boston?

I mean, other than honesty and decent moral values?

Moshe Ben Dayan, whose TipTopTow company performs a similar service in Los Angeles' affluent west side, said some people were taking advantage of the freeway service patrol.


"There was one guy a while back who was stopping every morning and trying to get his one free gallon," said Dayan. "I think it is going to be more drastic when the price of gas is closer to $4 a gallon."

I'm shocked.

Mumbles: We Need More Federal Gun Laws

More from the "Making America Safer (For Crack Dealers and Rapists)" Gun Summit, courtesy of the Boston Herald:

"The problem is we don't have a national policy on guns," Menino said after the summit ended with a news conference and a signing of the statement of principles.

We don't?

That's odd. Because, the last time I checked, we had all kinds of gun "policy" at the national level, in the form of numerous federal gun control laws that:

(A) require gun purchasers be subject to a criminal background check.
(B) make it a crime to sell a firearm to a resident in another state.
(C) require notification to law enforcement of multiple handgun purchases.
(D) that severely restrict the purchase and possession of automatic weapons.
(E) prohibit the sale of armor-piercing handgun ammunition.
(F) regulate the licensing of firearms dealers.

And the list doesn't end there by any means.

But, I digress. Shame on me for trying to introduce facts (again) into this discussion, when what really matters is what feeeeeeels good, and what is best for our great nanny-state collectivist Utopia.

The document begins: "Whereas 30,000 Americans across the country are killed every year as a result of gun violence, as Mayors, we are duty-bound to do everything in our power to protect our residents, especially our children, from harm...

Here's a novel idea. Allow the law-abiding citizens in your cities to make the choice, as free people, to act responsibly and provide for their own self-defense against anyone who wishes to bring harm to them or their families. Anything short of that, by your own words, should be seen as dereliction of duty and result in your removal from office.

Yeah, like that'll happen.

...and there is no greater threat to public safety than the threat of illegal guns."

As opposed to the threat of legal screwdrivers.

According to police, a 51-year-old man was approached by a Felix Pierre, 27, of Somerville while making a deposit at the bank's safety deposit box. The victim told police that Pierre came in from behind and grabbed the bag of money.

After a struggle, the victim was able to recover the bag.

Police say Pierre then stabbed the victim above the eyebrow with a screwdriver when he refused to comply with his demands to hand over the money.

Gun Control: Because allowing some scumbag to stick a screwdriver into your head is morally superior to putting a bullet into his.

UPDATE: I don't want to give the impression that I'm singling out these deadly screwdrivers for any special scrutiny here.

It is imperative that we remain equally vigilant of the threat posed to society by all the flashlights, knives, rocks, fire extinguishers, baseball bats, boxcutters, rope, golf clubs, hammers, and shower curtain rods we've got lying around here in the land of the "most effective gun laws in the nation".

Because, it's never about the INDIVIDUALS who CHOOSE to use these objects in an UNLAWFUL manner. It just wouldn't be compassionate to crack down on them and hold them accountable for their actions. Besides, they've been through enough already - probably just didn't get enough hugs when they were younger.

UPDATE: And scissors.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

The Great Gun Summit (cont.)

Raven brings us this AP News link:

N.Y. Mayor Hosts Gun Control Summit

Refreshing to see at least one news outlet calling it what it is.

"Gun crime is a national problem that needs a national response," Menino said, noting that many guns used in Boston murders last year came from other states.

Just how many is many, Mr. Mayor? Can you be more specific?

I have to ask, because just three months ago the Boston Globe reported (as I'm wont to remind my readers):

Although most illegal guns found in Boston in 2004 came from Massachusetts, police have traced more firearms to other New England states, including Maine, New Hampshire, and Connecticut, and Southern states such as Alabama, Florida, and Maryland.

So, according to the Boston Globe (and, depsite Mumbles' incessant whining to the contrary), the "gun-free" Commonwealth of Massachusetts, with all our "common sense" gun control laws, was ranked the #1 source for "illegal guns" taken from criminals on the streets of Boston in the year 2004.

Take that, Georgia, you ass-backward bunch of trigger-happy redneck crackers! We're #1, bitches! We're #1!

Now, for your homework assignment.

Caption this.

UPDATE: Here's the headline from WTNH (New Haven, CT):

Thirteen mayors attend summit on illegal gun control

If only.

Ready the Flag (and the Dead Horse)

From the Boston Herald:

As Mayor Thomas M. Menino prepares to attend a gun summit alongside mayors from across the country in New York City this morning, he said the federal government has paid more attention to combating bird flu than battling bullets.

"Gun violence is an epidemic sweeping across our country," Menino told the Herald in an interview yesterday.

That's strange (read: bullshit), because the facts say otherwise. Despite what Mayor Menino would have you believe, The rate of violent crime - including firearms-related incidents - in this country is on its way down, and has been for quite some time now. This rhetoric is nothing more than the continuing spread of lies and misinformation (and the passing of the buck) we've come to know so well from this administration and its co-conspirators in the gun control movement.

Last year, Boston marked its highest body count in a decade, with 75 murders and 341 shootings. This year, the number of victims hit by gunfire by April 20 was a staggering 110, nearly double the victims in 2005 when 65 people were shot, according to BPD statistics released this week.

So, we've got violent crime on its way up in the City of Boston, land of "the most effective gun laws in the nation", yet decreasing nationwide. We've got Massachusetts boasting far and away the highest violent crime rate of the six New England states. Yet, Menino's "solution" is to get the rest of the country to become "just like us".

Ask not for whom the cuckoo clock tolls...

Now, if Menino were to say that gun violence is an epidemic sweeping across the larger metropolitan areas in the country with large CRIMINAL populations, and that tougher laws calling for harsher punishment of CRIMINALS are needed to stem the violence, then he might be onto something. But, that would involve the acceptance of reality, and the admission that your core philosophy of "guns cause crime" is flawed.

Of course, there will be the usual "tough on crime" lip service paid to the idea of locking up criminals at this "summit", but they've had decades to get that plan implemented. If you're looking for radical changes in the way CRIMINALS are treated to come out of this meeting of the "minds", then the standard breath-holding warning remains in effect.

I'll close with this relevant Quote of the Day, via (The Other Side of) Kim du Toit:

"How a politician stands on the Second Amendment tells you how he or she views you as an individual... as a trustworthy and productive citizen, or as part of an unruly crowd that needs to be lorded over, controlled, supervised, and taken care of."

- Texas State Rep. Suzanna Gratia-Hupp


UPDATE: And, speaking of lies and misinformation coming from the anti-gun rights brigade, check this editorial from The Minnesota Frisbee Pilot Daily (via Jeff at Alphecca):

Fewer guns, fewer dead people

$$$$$ Money quote $$$$$

What do people even need handguns for? Protection, right? However, if no one could buy or carry a handgun legally, no one would need a handgun to protect themselves.

TSTF. Move along.

People who buy handguns likely are people who will use them in ways that affect others' safety.

Minnesota’s Personal Protection Act, also known as the conceal-carry law, is very controversial legislation that allows people to carry a handgun in public with a permit. This permit is given to anyone who has not been convicted of certain violent crimes or those who have finished a prison sentence 10 years prior to applying for a permit.

This means that someone who killed someone and served time potentially could be given a gun to carry in public legally 10 years later and that the state says this is perfectly fine.


Monday, April 24, 2006

Auto Insurance In the News Again

From the Boston Globe:

For almost 30 years, elderly drivers in Massachusetts have enjoyed a benefit no one else has: a 25 percent discount on auto insurance premiums, worth about $250 on this year's bills.

But now the state's insurers are questioning whether the discount still makes sense at a time when national data indicate that older drivers, particularly those 75 and above, are filing claims and dying in crashes at a pace that rivals that of teenagers. Insurers in some states no longer give discounts to drivers 75 and above, and some charge older drivers more than younger adults.

Good lord! Individuals' insurance premium costs based on assigned risk! No wonder this is such a controversial issue here in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. IT MAKES SENSE.

Daniel Johnston, president of the Automobile Insurers Bureau of Massachusetts, which represents the state's companies on rate matters, said any group of drivers that receives a discount it does not deserve is effectively being subsidized by drivers who are paying more than they should.

Gee, no kidding.

Welcome to Massachusetts.

Recap: Let me see if I understand this correctly.

It's perfectly acceptable to document the behavior of lawless, teenaged punks shooting up Boston's inner-city neighborhoods and use it as justification for restricting the RIGHT to self defense of law-abiding, middle-aged, suburbanites.

But, restricting the driving PRIVILEGES of, or charging more for car insurance for persons of a certain demographic (in this case, 75-years-old and up), based on the accident statistics and driving patterns of persons of that same demographic can somehow be seen as controversial and unfair.


What's the "Matter", Mr. Mayor?

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Boston Mayor Tom Menino's spokesman, Seth Gitell, has one of the easiest jobs in town - Mayor "Pass the Buck" Menino's personal echo.

Boston Herald 10/20/05:

A day after City Council President Michael Flaherty's car window was blown out by a bullet as he drove along bustling Dorchester Avenue, Boston police refused yesterday to make public the total number of Hub shootings so far this year.

The refusal [...] comes amid a rash of recent public gunplay that has alarmed city residents, and despite clear indications that shootings have jumped from 2004 to 2005.


Menino's spokesman, Seth Gitell, had no comment, saying "it's a police matter."

Boston Globe 4/24/06:

Ten people have been robbed on the streets surrounding Boston Common and nearby in the South End since April 1 in crimes that appear to be related, police said.


Seth Gitell, a spokesman for Mayor Thomas M. Menino, declined to comment on the robberies, saying it was a police matter.

Tell me something, Mr. Mayor, is there anything in the city that would qualify as a "city hall matter" worthy of a response from your office? If anything, it seems to me that armed gangs preying on the good people of Boston should probably make that list. But, following your logic, it's not apparent that anything necessarily would.

Firefighters threatening a walkout over stalled contract negotiations? Sounds like a "fire department matter" to me.

Quality of life in the low-income neighborhoods being negatively impacted by excessive trash on the sidewalk? Don't bother the mayor. That's a "sanitation department" matter.

Public school teachers in the city going on strike? Seems to me that would more likely be a "school committee matter".

Residents complaining about their streets not being plowed for days? Clearly, that's a "public works matter", no need to get His Highness involved.

Double parked cars in Southie blocking side street access by emergency vehicles? Wait, let me guess, that would be a "transportation department matter"?

Looks like the official Mayor Menino Press Release Generator needs a little tweaking.

Mayor Menino Press Release Generator - v2.0

1. The Mayor is [outraged/delighted] over this latest development. (choose one)

2. The Mayor was [unaware of/responsible] for much of what you read in the papers this morning regarding this incident. (choose one)

3a. The Mayor will [look into it/schedule a cocktail reception] immediately. (choose one)

3b. (alternate) The Mayor has no comment on this, as it is a ___________ matter. (fill in the blank with whichever governmental entity on which you wish to blame this incident/crisis)

Friday, April 21, 2006

Another "Youth" Gunned Down In His Prime

Yep, it's yet another senseless gun death in Red America. If only they had adopted Massachusetts-style "common sense" gun control laws, this tragedy, and countless others just like it, could have been averted.

DeAngelo Morrison felt lucky to be alive Wednesday, hours after he shot and killed a masked man armed with a shotgun who was chasing him into his Speedway apartment.

How terrible.

Speedway police say Morrison, 21, was acting in self-defense when he fired his handgun at the two men rushing up the stairs at the West Wind Terrace Apartments, near I-465 and Crawfordsville Road.

The bullet struck DeShawn Givens, 21, in the chest and police said he died at the bottom of the stairwell.


"At the end of the day, the law says if you have no other out and it appears you are about to get killed or seriously harmed, you don't have to send out a survey," said Scott Newman, the former Marion County prosecutor. "You can pull out a gun and defend yourself."

If only that were the case here in Massachusetts.

Massachusetts Self-Defense Situation Assessment Survey

Have a good weekend, folks.

How Are Those "Gun Summit" Plans Going?

We're firing up the old crystal ball, once again, for a peek into the future present of our gun-free paradise of Meninostan.

A 22-year-old Jamaica Plain resident was walking toward the Tropical Market when a black male wearing a red jacket approached him and asked him for money. The victim said no then went into the store. When he came back out with a few items he purchased, the suspect approached him again, questioning the victim for lying to him about not having any money. Then the suspect stabbed the victim several times in the arm and chest.

Last night at 2:15am, a 48-year-old black man from Charlestown was walking on Walford Way in Charlestown when a group of approximately six black and Hispanic males attacked him and stabbed him in the back multiple times.

Officers responded to a radio call last night at 10:42pm at 104 Old Ironsides Way for a man stabbed. Upon arrival, officers observed the victim bleeding from the left flank area. He stated he was attacked and stabbed once by a group of approximately 10 teenaged males on Monument Street.'s about the guns.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

I Should Be a Teacher

Parents rip school over gay storybook

In a controversy with a familiar ring, parents of a Lexington second-grader are protesting that their son's teacher read a fairy tale about gay marriage to the class without warning parents first.

The teacher at Joseph Estabrook Elementary School used the children's book, "King & King," as part of a lesson about different types of weddings. A prince marries another prince instead of a princess in the book, which was on the American Library Association's list of the 10 most challenged books in 2004 because of its homosexual theme.

Right up front, I am a supporter of gay rights, and of the rights of gays to marry, so don't get any ideas of labeling me with any of that "hate-filled bigot" bullshit.

That said, we're talking seven-year-old kids here, people.

This is just wrong.

"My son is only 7 years old," said Lexington parent Robin Wirthlin, who complained to the school system last month and will meet with the superintendent next week. "By presenting this kind of issue at such a young age, they're trying to indoctrinate our children. They're intentionally presenting this as a norm, and it's not a value that our family supports."

How can anyone say there's nothing wrong with introducing the "reality" of gay marriage and the gay lifestyle to seven-year-olds whose current reality likely includes belief in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny? [UPDATE: Hell, I wouldn't want my kids at that age to be introduced to the reality of the romantic relations of heterosexual couples] Let the kids be kids, and teach them how to read, write, and find the United States of America on a map of the world. Get the social engineering out of the schools and allow that responsibility to remain with the parents where it belongs.

She complained more than a year after Lexington parent David Parker was arrested for trespassing, because he refused to leave the Estabrook school grounds until administrators allowed him to opt his son out of discussions about families with same-sex parents. The latest incident has renewed the efforts of Waltham-based Parents' Rights Coalition to rid the state's schools of books and lessons that relate to homosexuality, and led the school system to reemphasize its stance on teaching about gay marriage and related issues as part of larger lessons on diversity and tolerance.

Diversity and tolerance? When I was in second grade, I was learning how to read, write, and do math, with a little bit of "do unto others" thrown in for good measure. What kind of deranged agenda was that?

Lexington Superintendent of Schools Paul Ash said Estabrook has no legal obligation to notify parents about the book. "We couldn't run a public school system if every parent who feels some topic is objectionable to them for moral or religious reasons decides their child should be removed," he said. "Lexington is committed to teaching children about the world they live in, and in Massachusetts same-sex marriage is legal."

Because it's "legal"? That's his current litmus test for determining the school's educational curriculum?


Dear Superintendent Ash:

I'm writing to let you know I'll be heading on over to the Estabrook Elementary School this Monday to start a one-week stint as a guest educator. And, I'm bringing some wonderful educational material with me, in my "diversity book bag". Now, don't get your panties in a twist, Paul. Only LEGAL topics will be discussed when I take to the hallways and classrooms of this fine academic institution of yours.

I'll start with first-grade storytime and this fine book, The Great Book of Guns: An Illustrated History of Military, Sporting, and Antique Firearms. Lots of pictures for the young 'uns to look at!

Next up, right before lunch, I'll hit the second-graders' classrooms and read to them from this excellent book on safety in and around the home, George Tooley's Beginner's Book on How to Handle Firearms Safely . What could be more important than teaching our children how to be safe?

After lunch and recess - you do let the kids run around and play like, well, kids these days, right? - I'll sit down with some of your third graders and have a lesson in wildlife conservation with this educational tome, Hunting in North America: Big Game, Small Game, Upland Birds, Waterfowl, Wild Turkey. Surely, this will pass muster with you and your PC police force.

I must say, I look forward to the opportunity to assist you in molding the minds of the young people in your charge.


Bruce [name withheld]
Roslindale, MA

Sounds Like a Plan To Me

Minuteman leader pushes border fence

TUCSON, Ariz. (AP) -- If the government doesn't build security fencing along the Mexico border, Minuteman border watch leader Chris Simcox says he and his supporters will.

Simcox, whose civilian watch group opposes illegal immigration, said Wednesday he was sending an ultimatum to President Bush to deploy military reserves to the Arizona border by May 25 or his supporters will break ground for their own building project.

"We're going to show the federal government how easy it is to build these security fences, how inexpensively they can be built when built by private people and free enterprise," Simcox said.

A security fence erected along the US/Mexico border, funded by private money. Illegal aliens and drug runners would be prevented from entering our country. All those evil guns Mexican President Fox is so concerned about would be kept out of Mexico. What's not to love?

Honestly, who could possibly object to such a proposal? I mean, besides Ted Kennedy's "Open Borders Brigade" and the millions of downtrodden Mexicans they're looking to import and indoctrinate as future Democratic voters as quickly as possible.

Congress has been debating immigration reform for several months. One bill, approved by the U.S. House in December, calls for nearly 700 miles of fencing along the U.S.-Mexico border. The fence proposal has angered Mexicans, with President Vicente Fox calling it "shameful."

Hey, Vicente Presidente!

This goes without saying (like, that's ever stopped me before), but for Vicente Fox to call any such proposal "shameful" is nothing short of the world's largest flaming ball of hypocritical buttnugget, coming from the leader of the country where illegal aliens are arrested, robbed, raped, jailed, and deported (or simply shot on sight) by armed agents of the government.

What's Spanish for "asshat"? Culosombrero?


Westboro Manager Arrested In Immigration Raid


A Westboro office was one of several branches of a national company raided by immigration officers Wednesday.


44-year-old Michael Ames of Shrewsbury, the manager of IFCO Systems Westboro office, was one of several people arrested in a crackdown on employers of illegal workers.


Seven executives and hundreds of employees of the crate and pallet manufacturer were taken into custody, as agents raided IFCO offices and plants in at least nine states.


It was the culmination of a yearlong criminal investigation.

Federal prosecutors said the executives conspired to transport, harbor and encourage illegal workers to reside in the United States for commercial advantage and private financial gain.

In addition to Westboro, raids took place at several locations in upstate New York and in Biglerville, Pa., Charlotte, N.C., Cincinnati, Houston, Indianapolis, Phoenix, and Richmond, Va.

If found guilty in a court of law, I say string 'em up by their naughty bits out in the woods and let the animals have them lock 'em up.

15-Year-Old Girl Shot in Roxbury

I hope the authorities are able to arrest, prosecute, and incarcerate the gun that was responsible for this.


The Mass. Exodus (cont.)

There's yet another article in the Boston Globe today on the continuing decline in the population of Massachusetts. And it brings some bad news, folks. We're no longer #1 in the population loser category.

Bay State exodus 2d only to N.Y.

Massachusetts lost more residents than it attracted in recent years, at a greater rate than any other state but New York, according to Census Bureau estimates released today.

We got beat by New York? I hate when that happens!

The estimates show that between 2000 and 2004, more residents left Massachusetts than moved to the Bay State -- with an average annual exodus of 42,402 people. That amounts to a rate of 6.6 people leaving the state per 1,000, second only to New York's rate of 9.6 residents per 1,000 during that period.



Naturally, the Democrats - who overwhelmingly dominate the social and political landscape in Massachusetts - will be out in force (again) blaming this on our Republican governor, Mitt Romney. So, how does Romney's office respond?

But nationally, the regions picking up population are in the South and West, with Nevada, Arizona, Florida, and Idaho topping the list. Romney's communications director, Eric Fehrnstrom, noted those centers of population growth and attributed Massachusetts' losses to New England's weather.


The US Census Bureau report measured how many people are moving in and out of states, and it found that the migration from most of the New England states has slowed in recent years. More people moved into Maine, New Hampshire, and Vermont than moved out from 2000 to 2004, while the number of people moving into Connecticut dropped slightly. Nationally, the South remained the primary destination.

Apologies to Natalie Merchant and 10,000 Maniacs, but something tells me it's not about the weather. And, since when is Idaho a "warm state"?

Frey said metropolitan Boston has been losing people since 1990, but in recent years the loss has been occurring at greater rates than at any time since the recession of 1990 and 1991. Today's report found that among large metropolitan areas, Greater Boston trailed only San Francisco and New York City in its rate of loss.

Mayor Menino's office will be issuing a statement later this morning addressing this latest crisis, just as soon as he figures out who to blame it on.

Here's the Boston Globe graphic that accompanies the story.

(click for larger image)

Biggest population losses (per 1,000 residents) for the major metropolitan areas shown:

New York City = -11.4
Boston = -9.5
Los Angeles = -9.3
Chicago = -6.8

Let's play "What do these five places (including San Francisco) have in common?".


I'll close with this "Quote of the Day" from Marc J. Perry, head of the Department of Stating the Bleeding Obvious.

Even with immigration, the population has not kept up because more people are moving out. "When you have that many more people leaving each year than coming in, it makes it that much more challenging to have population growth," said Marc J. Perry, a demographer for the US Census Bureau who handled the latest report.

Bodes real well for our new "free healthcare for any freeloader who puts up a tent in Massachusetts and calls it home" plan.

UPDATE: Per jeremiah's comment, consider Washington D.C. added to the above list of cities, with a population loss of 10+ residents per 1,000 jumping ship (see Boston Globe graphic).

Also, it should be noted, as this Boston Globe article points out, that at least one Boston neighborhood is experiencing a population growth...of sorts.

According to Boston police statistics, every category of major crime in [Mattapan] is up compared with last year, including 100 percent jumps in homicide, robbery, and residential burglary. He said an influx of paroled prisoners and troubled youth is driving the violence.

I blame Wal-Mart, no, wait, Dick Cheney, no that's not it, ummm...Starbucks!, pay phones, global warming, no, wait, I got it...Idaho, umm...HALLIBURTON!

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

What's Wrong With This Headline?

Scrappy couple foil Lynn home invasion

Paul Reardon and Kelly Sullivan were unharmed and only lost a portable telephone following the 20-minute break-in that began at 8:25 a.m. when Reardon heard a knock on his 150 Lynnway front door.

"I said, 'who is it?' and bang, they came crashing through the door," Reardon said.

The taller of the two men wrestled Reardon, who uses a motorized chair to get around, onto his dining room floor.

Sullivan shouted at the intruders as she ran to help him.

She asked who the men were, and according to Sullivan, the taller of the two men responded by saying the men were 'the police.'

Sullivan then asked the man where his badge was.

"That upset them," she said.

The man's accomplice turned a handgun on her while he handcuffed Sullivan's hands behind her back and handcuffed Reardon to a kitchen chair.

Then the pair started ransacking the couple's home.

If this is what passes for a "foiled" home invasion in Lynn, I'd hate to be the victim of a successful one.

They Got the Bastard

There's one less pervert walking the streets of Quincy.

Well, for the time being, anyway.

Having recently moved to Quincy after spending more than a decade in Oregon, David Anderson asked an area resident for a job, police said.

Then he kept talking, they said, telling the prospective employer that he had broken up with his girlfriend and allegedly showing him graphic letters he had penned to her. The disclosure led police to arrest Anderson, 54, charging that he left female underwear and sexually threatening notes aimed at young girls on at least five doorsteps around town since February.

Anderson is expected to be arraigned in Quincy District Court this morning on charges of dissemination of obscene material, and making threats disrupting the public, which is punishable by up to 20 years in state prison.

Yeah, like that'll happen.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

God Bless the Palmetto State (cont.)

Following up on this post from a couple weeks ago, it's pretty safe to say no one is going to be confusing Massachusetts for South Carolina any time soon. And, not that you need the reminder, but please don't hold your breath waiting to read this in the Boston Globe.

Pickens County Woman Shoots Home Invader

Pickens County Investigators say Brian Teague forced his way into Susan Hendricks' home Thursday evening and refused to leave.

"She felt threatened," says Lt. Lane Byers, Pickens County Sheriff's Office. "She felt she could not leave the home to get away from him. And she felt she had to defend herself. She used a firearm to do so."

Shame on her! Doesn't she know she was supposed to just give this nice young man whatever he wanted? Because, that's precisely what the gun control blissninnies are always advising women to do in that situation.

Hendricks reportedly shot Teague several times.

Four shots out of five from her revolver, per this account.

"She had made some complaints that he had bothered her, prior to this."

In fact, Hendricks filed an incident report about Teague with the Pickens County Sheriff's Office, just 30 minutes before the shooting.

Good thing she wasn't a resident of the People's Progressive Republic of Bostonia. Had she gone down to BPD headquarters to file an application for a license to own a handgun at that time, she'd be shit out of luck (read: likely deceased).

By about 105 days, 23 hours, and 30 minutes.

But, better to have an innocent woman beaten to within inches of her life by a deranged mullet-wearing psychopath, than to actually allow her the CHOICE to defend herself with the most effective means possible. Right, Mr. Mayor? Senator Barrios, any comment?

(link via The Other Side of Kim)


From the Boston Globe:

Menino, Bloomberg announce gun summit

Note: Not a "gang" summit, a "crack dealer" summit, a "carjacker" summit, or an "armed assailant of any kind" summit. It's those pesky inanimate objects...again. Remember the big "car" summit that was held last year as the state legislature was exploring new ways to crack down on drunk driving in the Commonwealth?

Yeah, me neither.

Boston Mayor Thomas M. Menino announced today that he and New York Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg will meet with mayors from more than a dozen other cities next week to discuss working together to prevent gun violence.

OK, ONE MORE TIME for the people in the cheap seats...

Guns aren't violent.

Criminals with guns are.

As are criminals with knives, golf clubs, and pointy sticks.

Mayors from Philadelphia, Dallas, Miami, Washington D.C., Providence, Seattle, and Trenton, N.J. are also expected to attend the meeting next Tuesday at Gracie Mansion in New York.

Menino, who reached out to Bloomberg in January after hearing him talk about gun violence in his inaugural address, has said he and Bloomberg would form a panel and tour the country asking other mayors to join them in crafting and lobbying for federal legislation to help cities and towns address the issue.

Let's recap:

It's against the law for anyone to use a gun in a criminal manner.

It's against the law for a criminal to own or carry any kind of gun.

Yet, Menino and Bloomberg are still looking to "solve" this problem of theirs (read: cover up for their own cities' flagrant inability to arrest, prosecute, and incarcerate the criminals) through the creation of more laws.

The number of homicides in Boston reached a 10-year high last year. The number of fatal and nonfatal shootings through April 6 this year was 99, up from 57 for the same period last year.

Now, one could infer from that statement that is was the violent criminal population in Boston last year that returned to a 10-year high. Or that the violent criminal population of Boston today is up 74% from what it was this time last year. But, framing it thusly would, of course, make it harder for Mumbles and his nanny-state co-conspirators to justify additional restrictions on the rights of the law-abiding, NON-VIOLENT, NON-CRIMINAL population.

And we can't have that now, can we?

Have I mentioned lately how totally disconnected from reality our mayor is here in the once-beautiful People's Republic of Bostonia?

24 - The Morning After

Episode 18: 12:00 AM to 1:00 AM

Apologies for the lack of "24" blogging last week. I won't let it happen again. It wasn't my fault, honest! I ran out of gas. I, I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts. IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!

And, oh yeah, I blame New Hampshire! But, again, I digress.

Bruce's Five-Point Review

1. I must say it's nice to see Logan growing a pair of balls. I was beginning to worry Jack wouldn't have anywhere to kick him where it would have any effect.

2. Though, I'm hoping Secretary Hellraiser gets to Logan first for that little brachial artery incident between Henderson and Audrey there. Now, they put that on pay-per-view, and they'll cut the federal deficit in half.

3. And speaking of Audrey...

Jack, don't do it!

For ONCE in his life, Jack should have just clammed up, listened to the woman, and done as she said.

4. One thing that's got me puzzled somewhat was Aaron's cell phone being left behind at the stables. Did he plant it there? Or did he get jumped while waiting for Martha to show up?

And speaking of Martha Logan and getting jumped, Aaron, are you gonna wait until Jack kills Logan before you do his wife? 'Cuz, if you hadn't noticed, Red, she kinda wants you. As does every straight woman and gay man on the planet by now, I'd imagine.

5. All in all, a quality episode. Bodycount and ammo usage are both up. And, in stark contrast to where we stood six or seven weeks ago, I'm looking forward to next week's episode. Good thing too, because I would have quit watching otherwise.


No, honest, I swear.



6. So, is Curtis taking, like, a two-hour shit, or what?

And He's the One With All the Guns

Apparently, it's "Irony Lost on the Witless" Week.

First, we had the rocket scientist of a historian who wrote the letter posted here. And today, it's our old friend Quincy (MA) police chief Robert Crowley. You remember him. He's the "public servant" who gets paid an extra $12,500 a year to eat lunch and read magazines.

But, I digress.

His most egregious violation of his sworn duties as a public servant has been his unwavering belief that the residents of Quincy are not to be trusted to provide for the safety and well-being of their families (at one point last year, there were stories of his office even refusing to allow residents to apply for "shall-issue" Firearms Identification Cards, in gross violation of state law).

Flashback to this previous post from March 2005:

On February 7, 2005 more than 140 Quincy residents turned out at City Hall for a special hearing of the City Council's Committee on Public Safety regarding Chief Crowley's firearms license policies.


At one point, a City Councilor asked the chief if he would issue a license to a woman in a domestic violence situation, presupposing that the woman had no criminal record or mental health issues. The chief's response was, "I can't answer that, I have to go to the specifics... what level of fear she had."

And now, here's what's going down in his tranquil, gun-free Utopia these days, and his response to the situation. From the Boston Herald:

Quincy pervert threatens girls

Some parents of young girls in Quincy are shaken after police say a serial sicko left girls' panties on their front porch, and wrapped the underwear around magazine pages containing threats to rape little girls.

Quincy police say the pervert has hit five houses in Quincy - three of them are home to young girls - between February and Easter Sunday. Each time a pair of girl's or women's underwear or bras were left on the front porch, and the undergarments were wrapped around torn-out pages from American Girl magazine. Written in print were sexually graphic threats against girls, including threats of rape, said Quincy police Chief Robert Crowley.

"My fear is that somebody may be attacked," Crowley said last night, going public with the issue for the first time after the messages left Friday at a Bradford Street home became more sexually explicit.

What "level of fear" would that be exactly, Chief?

And, if you think you're afraid? How do you think some of these parents of the children feel after being denied the right to effectively protect their families from harm based on your "no self-defense for commoners" firearms licensing policy?

Monday, April 17, 2006

Beating Sparing the Dead Horse

What he said.

And, the Blithering Idiot of the Month Award...

...goes to one Jerry Schneider of Stafford, VA(?).

You may bear arms--but only rod-and-ball variety

I grow weary of the constitutional argument for gun ownership, based as it is on the "infallibility" of the Founding Fathers ["An intellectual shell game with the anti-gun folks," March 30].

For the Founding Fathers, arms were cumbersome muzzle-loaders. They had no concept of modern weaponry.

I like to think that in their wisdom, they would have been appalled at the notion of their own citizenry bearing such arms.

If we are giving the Founding Fathers the final word on the subject, then we all have the right to keep and bear muzzle-loaders.

Jerry Schneider


Interesting point of view for someone who most likely used the internet to send a letter to the editor of a newspaper, for publication on their website, as a means of exercising his right to free speech, as protected by the First Amendment.

Though, I suppose is plausible that he could have written the letter by hand on a piece of parchment with a quill-tipped pen and hand-delivered it to the editor's office... it could then be published in a newspaper printed on a high-speed, computerized printing press.

Either way, it's a pity irony is so often lost on the witless.

(link via Alphecca)

Friday, April 14, 2006

No Thanks

Well, I was going to kick off the weekend with my answer to "The 100 Unsexiest Men in the World" (from this previous post), by listing my choices for "The 10 Unsexiest Women in the World". But, as soon as I started looking for some pictures to attach to my list, I found myself too ill to continue.

(click - at your own risk - for larger image)

Have a good weekend, all!

How To Earn My Respect

Step 1: Use the word "asswipe" in a post title.

Step 2: Write this...

I just went over to the Registry of Deeds to file a document pertaining to our condo association. The first part of my trip was amusing, as the officer who had placed my bag through the metal detector at the entrace to the courthouse told me he was going to need to confiscate my camera. He then placed it in a plastic bag printed "confiscated weapon" and had me sign a receipt for a weapon.

Once I'd been disarmed, I went into the registry...

Obligatory snark: Helluva job Menino and his henchmen are doing getting these weapons of the streets of our fair hamlet. I know I'll be able to sleep better at night now.

Eeka posts on a far-too-regular basis about the "quality" of customer "service" she's experienced at the hands of our public "servants" here in the once-great Commonwealth of Massachusetts. She is a veritable lightning rod for bureacratic horseshit like this, and just morons in general, it seems.

Can't say I envy her one bit.

UPDATE: From commenter 'damnright' at Universal Hub:

WANTED: Unskilled labor to work for life in protected job. Tasks entail being sarcastic to the taxpayers of the Commonwealth. You will be approached by people that don't have much experience with the court system/ registry/ social services. Feel free to mock them in their ignorance, even though if the tables where turned you wouldn't survive in a competitive environment. Wear cheap suits and kick the dog when you get home.

Not much to add there.

One For the Ladies

From the Boston Phoenix comes this list of The 100 unsexiest men in the world by Bill Jensen and Ryan Stewart. Not that I devote a great deal of (read: any) time evaluating the sexiness of male celebrities, but I found little to disagree with on the list.

Don Imus, arguably THE unsexiest man of all time, made the Top-10.

"It would be like having sex with an old
leather bag, but not in a good way[.]"

Rounding out the Top-10:

1. Gilbert Gottfried

2. Randy Johnson

3. Roger Ebert

4. Dr. Phil

5. Alan Colmes

6. Chad Kroeger

7. Mike Mills

8. Osama Bin Laden

9. Jay Leno

The Clay Aiken and Axl Rose fans sound off in the comments (now, there's a steel cage match I'd pay good money to watch). As does a Dr. Phil admirer (???).

Chacun à son goût.

If "Buy a Gun Day" Ain't Your Thing

How about "Buy a Flashlight Day"?

Specifically, the .410 shotgun Maglite.

Also available in the .380-caliber Mini-Maglite.

Dear Santa...

(link via No Quarters)

UPDATE: Not to be confused with the non-MA-compliant version.

Quote of the Day

Pa. man kills girlfriend over sandwiches

UNIONTOWN, Pa. --A man threw a microwave at his girlfriend, then fatally beat her after she refused to heat up sandwiches, police said.


After throwing her to the floor, Fordyce threw a microwave oven onto McCann's chest after she refused to heat up sandwiches for him, he told police. Fordyce also said he stomped on McCann's chest repeatedly then banged her head on the floor until she lost consciousness -- but that he also said he didn't mean to kill her, police said.

"It was an accident. I didn't do it on purpose," police quoted Fordyce as saying.

Whatever you say, pal. But, just so you know, that's exactly how your new boyfriend in prison will explain your rectal bleeding when quesitoned by the warden about it.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

How Cool Is This?

From The View From North Central Idaho:

Quote of the day--Bruce at mAss Backwards

Vini. Vidi. Boom.
[I came. I saw. I blew stuff up.]

Bruce at mAss Backwards
The winning Boomershoot 2006 slogan entry.
Congratulations Bruce.

Well, if I can't be there, I'll gladly take the t-shirt.

Doubts Linger Over Cost of Healthcare Bill

No shit.

Governor Mitt Romney signed most of a sweeping new healthcare bill into law yesterday at a festive Faneuil Hall ceremony hailed as a hallmark of bipartisan achievement, even as healthcare specialists expressed concern that the plan could start losing money in three years.

When the politicians and "experts" tell you the cost of anything "probably" won't go up, chances are it will (ref. the Big Dig). When these same folks tell you the price tag "could" actually increase, chances are you're in for a screwing of monumental proportion.

A legislative staff analysis estimates that the groundbreaking healthcare plan would start losing money in two to three years, which could put pressure on lawmakers to spend more tax money, increase the fee on businesses or scale back the coverage of the sweeping bill.

Well, gee, at least they'll have "options". They can raise taxes on the people contributing to the pot or cut back on the amount of coverage provided to the people taking out of it.

Heads they win, tails we lose.

A number of economists and health policy specialists interviewed by the Globe said that the plan's financing is solid for the next two years, especially since lawmakers have added a cushion of money in case of unexpected costs.

But some specialists warned that the picture is less certain after that. "There are a lot of things that have to happen right for there to be enough money," said John Holahan of the Urban Institute, a nonpartisan policy research organization in Washington, D.C.

Yeah, and one of those things is for the population of people paying into the system to keep up with the population of people taking out of the system. I'm not seeing that happening down the road. We've already had two consecutive years of population decline in this state, and this plan is not likely to reverse that trend anytime soon.

Rising healthcare costs could easily outstrip the money raised by the bill through state and federal contributions and the employer assessment, observers said.

So, someone explain to me again how this can possibly be seen as a good thing? I'm seeing nothing more than a big blackhole of economic disaster here - the last nail, if you will, in the coffin of the future of Massachusetts as an economically viable entity.

Lastly, can anyone please tell me what exactly Ted Kennedy's end goal is here? We've seen him take to the streets this week advocating for even more of an open border policy than we already have (thanks to his tireless work over the last 20 years on behalf of illegal aliens everywhere). And now, he and Mitt "I Have No Freakin' Chance of Becoming President Now" Romney want the government (read:taxpayers) of Massachusetts to provide health insurance to every hapless soul who makes it across the state line and declares residency here.

Today the Commonwealth, tomorrow the former United States of America - right, Senator?

God save the Republic (and pass the ammo).

For there's little even He can do now for the once-great Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

Life's Certainties

Death, taxes, and self-immolation by morons.

A teenage boy accidentally set himself on fire early Wednesday morning after allegedly trying to siphon gas from a firefighter's car.

"And isn't it ironic...dontcha think?"
~ Alanis Morissette (1995)

Police were called to the hospital to investigate the incident and later learned that the 17-year-old spilled gas on his pants while siphoning gas. He then used a lighter to try to determine how wet his pants were and set himself of fire, Hague said.

(last year's human tiki torch stories here and here)

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

From the Irony Hall of Fame

A police officer working a paid detail at Fenway Park complaining to a private citizen about price gouging.

Hit Me

Later today, I'll be getting my 250,000th site visit.

Think I'll have a 'Gansett.

UPDATE: And, the winner is...

(click for full-size image)

Is that you? If so, there's a Nastygansett tallboy in my fridge with your name on it.

One Immigration "Solution"

David, over at Blue Mass. Group, offers this obvious (his words, not mine) solution to the illegal immigration "problem" (his scare quotes, not mine) we're facing in our country today. Someday, I might register at his site for the purpose of posting comments there. But, until then, I'll make do over here, thanks.

Suffice to say, David and I will have to agree to (thankfully) disagree on this one.

Hey Republicans - want to REALLY fix the immigration "problem"?

I haven't followed the current immigration debate all that closely. But as I understand it, the basic issue is that there are a lot of people here illegally, and those people are perceived to be (depending on your point of view) (a) taking jobs from legal residents and simultaneously driving down wages for everyone, or (b) doing jobs that are necessary to the economy but that legal residents don't want because they are too low-paying.

As to item (a), illegals are driving down the wages on these jobs, because they're willing to work "under the table" for a lot more than they'd earn back home, but a lot less than what an American would earn in that same job. Even if they present the employer with "documentation", that employer can still pay them reduced wages (no taxes, worker's comp, etc.) and pocket the savings.

What's the illegal going to do? Turn his employer (and himself) in to the authorities to face charges?

As to item (b), see above. Eliminate the illegal work force, those people most willing to work for crap wages, and the market will dictate that normal wages be restored to these positions, bringing more American workers back into the workplace.

Seems to me there's an obvious strategy that the Republicans who want to be "tough on immigration" could adopt, and they'd draw a lot of Democratic support in doing it: raise the minimum wage - a lot. Like to ten bucks an hour. And enforce it across the board - to farm jobs, restaurant jobs, the whole nine yards.

"Like to ten bucks an hour", eh?

OK, here's how, like, unworkable that would be.

Say you own a business, and have three types of employees working for you: unskilled labor, skilled labor, and middle management. Their wages are $7, $10, and $15/hour, respectively. You bump the minimum wage up to $10 and hour and suddenly the guys whose job it was to restock the toilet paper dispensers are now making as much as the guy who runs your assembly line.

You think that's going to go over well with your higher-paid, skilled workers? Maybe in liberal fantasyland, but not here on earth. Your assembly line workers are going to do one of two things: demand a commensurate raise in pay or find another employee who needs a bunch of $10/hour toliet paper roll changers.

And, the fact that they're more skilled than the toilet paper roll changers of the world means they'll be hired ahead of them to fill these positions, so the employers can get more for their money.

Why, it's almost as if the poorest of the working class, the unskilled laborers could be the ones most adversely affected by this. Who knew?

Or, on the other hand, you might choose to follow the guiding "progressive" principle of "social justice", and give them all a 43% raise, just like you were forced to do for the toilet paper guys. Now, they're all making $14.30 an hour, nearly as much as their supervisors.

You think the supervisors are going to be OK with that?

So now, as a result of trying to make everyone happy in the wake of the minimum wage hike, your entire payroll has just gone up 43 percent. Are you now expected to eat that cost, or is it reasonable to assume that the price you charge for your products or services will go up to reflect the increase in your operating costs?

Alternately, you could lay off all your toilet paper guys and hire a vanload of illegals to replace them, paying them $4 and hour under the table to offset the incresased costs elsewhere on your payroll. And, why not? No one in Congress seems all that interested in cracking down on employers who do this.

But, hey, why stop at $10 an hour? Why not $20? Or better yet, $75! Come on, think about it. It's Ted Kennedy's wet dream. No more poor people!!! More Democrat campaign contributors! Yippee!!! You did it! You ended poverty!

What's that? Those rolls of toilet paper now costs $4.00 each? And that new toilet you need for your employee's restroom costs $650? That's one costly dump, dude.

Yet the same people will tell us we can't get rid of the illegal alien workforce, because the cost of lettuce will go up if we can't pay the illegals shit wages to pick it. Say, who's up for a quick game of LeFtY LoGiC?

A. If the free market makes something happen, it must be a bad thing.

B. If the government can accomplish the same thing by force, it's "progressive".

That should make those jobs a whole lot more attractive to legal residents, which should make it much easier for businesses to hire legal residents to do them, which should in turn greatly decrease the attractiveness of coming to the U.S. illegally.

Just how in the name of Satan's little sister will that DECREASE the attractiveness of these jobs to the illegal alien population? If the illegal alien population is as much the "economic backbone" of this country, as some would have us believe (Senator Kennedy, please call your office), then that tells me there's a helluva lot of people out there either working "under the table" or with fraudulent documentation (good thing Senator Kennedy doesn't seem to care too much for prosecuting individuals for identity fraud these days).

If they're working for reduced wages under the table, the employer can now pay them $6 an hour instead of the $4 an hour they were paying them before, and still end up saving money compared to paying Americans the new $10 an hour minimum.

If they're working with phony papers, then they'll possibly just end up getting the $10 an hour that an American could, assuming the employers are acting ethically and not short-changing them (see above).

Does anybody honestly think that either of these groups of people will stop sneaking across the border to work here illegally if we tell them that they're all getting massive pay hikes?

Put down the Donovan record and step slowly away from the bong.

Problem solved!

Again, that depends on your definition of the word "solved".

Of course, it will never happen.

Well, thank God for small favors.

Some of the very same Republicans who decry the minimum wage as a disastrous interference with the operation of the free market are the ones now banging the drum about the supposed threat of illegal immigration.

Um...yes, and yes. Your point being.....?

Well, guess what, the market's a bitch, and it doesn't take sides on ideological battles.

I'll keep that in in mind the next time I'm unclogging my $650 toilet with my $90 plunger, sold to me by a $75 and hour Wal-Mart employee.

The job market in the U.S. is a big part of why there are so many illegal immigrants here. Silly bills proposing building a thousand-mile fence will do a lot less to solve this "problem" than cranking up the minimum wage.

Well, the fence is a pretty damn good starting point.

Just so long as we deduct the cost of building it from any future foreign aid we plan on sending to Mexico. Mexican President Vicente Fox would surely approve of such a plan to keep all the guns from the United States from flooding his country. Right?

After that's done, we can go after the employers who are paying the illegals under the table or knowingly accepting fradulent work papers. Then round up all the "undocumented" aliens using phony documentation (social security numbers, driver's licenses, green cards, etc.), charge them with felony identity theft, and waive their prison sentences in exchange for a one-way ticket home.

Sorry, but if you have the means and motivation to obtain fraudulent work papers and enter the country illegally, then you have the means and ability to fill out the proper paperwork and wait in line like those folks currently looking to come here LEGALLY.

Hey, I see here that State Senator Jarrett Barrios is quite the self-proclaimed champion in the fight against identity fraud here in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Surely he'll support me in this effort. Right?

But, raising the minimum wage as a "solution" to illegal immigration in this country? My economics background might consist solely of my having taken Econ. 101 (Pass/Fail) while drinking heavily in my senior year of college, but I'm not buying it.