Friday, September 30, 2005

Ticket Scalping In the News Again

What's wrong with this picture?

A Sharon man who says he paid $805 for two tickets to this Saturday's showdown between the Red Sox and Yankees is accusing the ticket agency and other resellers of scalping fans.

Golly, Dave, maybe you should have thought of that before voluntarily paying $800 for $80 worth of tickets. I hate ticket scalpers as much as anyone, but my sympathy meter's not reading too high for this guy.

And (just because), from last year's related post:

I'm Starting to Like This Ortiz Kid

He's got potential.

Dunkin' Donuts Has a Blog?

Not exactly.

From their 'About' page: was created by Scott Lewis - a husband, father, and consultant - who loves Dunkin’ Donuts original blend coffee. Currently (as of 01.01.2005) I have no affiliation with Dunkin’ Donuts other than my regular purchase of 2 chocolate frosted donuts and a large coffee with extra cream and extra sugar.

Whatever gets you through the night, pal.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Gun Control Means Hitting Your Target

Alternate Title: Don't Bring a Moose to a Rifle Fight

Reader Alan sends along this pic of his niece, little 98-pound Samantha, showing us how she spent her weekend.

Don't get any ideas, guys. She's happily married and reportedly carries a .22 Magnum derringer (I guess the 30.06 doesn't conceal all that well on her small frame).

What's Wrong With This Picture?

Let me count the ways.

There's simply too much blog-worthy material in this one article to work with right now. So, in the interest of actually being a productive member of society today, I'll give you only a few choice paragraphs here.

On Cape, evacuee gives birth to a son and a new dream

FALMOUTH -- The gradually dwindling population of evacuees at Camp Edwards was boosted by one new member yesterday. He weighs 6 pounds 9 ounces and has velvet-soft ears.

"Velvet-soft ears"? Has anybody ever heard that phrase used to describe something other than a puppy? With that last sentence, we have witnessed the most accurate piece of reporting ever to appear on the pages of the Boston Globe, whether intentional or not.

His name is Cape Cod Bannister, or "C.C." for short.

I apologize for going off on a bit of a tangent here, but the wife and I were looking at a custom woodworking catalog last night, trying to decide on a new stair railing for the front stairs. I think we're going with the Cape Cod banister.

Perched on her hospital bed, a blue plastic cross hanging from her neck, White tells of a life of hardship. She had her first baby at age 15, and by 18 she had four children.

A life of "hardship"? Through no fault of your own, I suppose. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that up until now, you've had the life of a 24-hour sperm depository for every donor who knocked on your door.

Even when she tried birth control, she said she still got pregnant, because she did not always take her medication.

What? You let guys screw you at will without using birth control, and you still kept getting knocked up after living such a responsible, self-respecting life? I'm stunned. What are the odds?

White intends to start her life over in Massachusetts where, she says, "everyone treats you with love."

Welcome to Massachusetts, home of the most liberal welfare requirements in the nation. I wonder how much more love the government will be looking to extract from my paycheck now.

Monteiro said that two houses, one in Hingham and one in Boston, are being considered for White's family.

Come on, people, work harder! We've got a house to buy.

"We have never, ever, all of us been together," White said, "So, that's my dream, a nice big old house in Boston. And all 13 of my children."

I'm getting depressed just thinking about how the hard-working taxpayers of Massachusetts will be subsidizing your "nice big old house" for you and your litter while I continue living paycheck to paycheck with my wife and kids in my not-so-big house in Boston.

Where's my disability check?

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Quote of the Day - Clueless Broad Edition

This isn't merely "stuck on stupid." This is turned all the way up to eleven on stupid.

- Rand Simberg at Transterrestrial Musings

Get Me Kanye West On the Phone!

NEWS FLASH: George Bush Doesn't Care About Texans!

PORT ARTHUR, Texas - Hundreds of East Texas residents remained trapped by fallen trees or fuel shortages Wednesday as federal relief began to trickle in to the rural-industrial region hit last week by Hurricane Rita.

Hmmm...I Wonder

Two stories in the news today about two politicians finding themselves in hot water over campaign finance-related matters.

Which of the following stories will be hailed around here as a victory for truth, integrity, and justice, and receive more media coverage than the Pope's passing and Hurricane Katrina - combined? And which one will be assailed as a racially-motivated witch hunt, and swept under the proverbial rug by the local media faster than you can say "hypocrisy"?

Story #1: State Senator Sued For Unreported Expenses

(AP) The attorney general and the head of the state's campaign finance office filed a lawsuit Wednesday against Sen. Dianne Wilkerson, alleging she had not reported nearly $27,000 in donations and had more than $18,000 in unexplained personal expenses.

Story #2: DeLay Indicted In Campaign Finance Probe

(AP) WASHINGTON A Texas grand jury on Wednesday charged House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, R-Texas, and two political associates with conspiracy in a campaign finance scheme.

Thank Heaven For the Boston Globe

[UPDATED - scroll down for important update on the ongoing Battle of the Protest Babes]

Without it, I might actually have to look for material to blog about, instead of having gems like this dropped in my lap on a regular basis. It seems little Kevin here is all bent out of shape over the Globe's lack of "fair and balanced" coverage of the recent anti-war (read: anti-capitalism, anti-America, anti-Christian, anti-Jew, take your pick) protest that took place in Washington DC this past weekend.

A disappointed D.C. protester

September 28, 2005

SO I TRAVEL for eight hours overnight on a noisy, uncomfortable bus to join a massive antiwar protest in D.C. on Saturday, conservatively estimated as a crowd of 100,000 (and more, probably), and then, after miles of marching and another eight-hour ride back, I pick up The Sunday Globe and read a story on our protest on Page A6, just above a story of almost equal length about a couple of hundred counterprotesters.

And lo, in Monday's Globe, there, given significant prominence, is a story on Page A2 with a picture about one-third the size of the page, "400 rally in support of troops, against protesters."

So there it is. Fair and balanced: 400 vs. 100,000. And the 400 get equal treatment. Oh, and by the way, every single one of the antiwar protesters support the troops. It's the immoral, criminal Bush war policies we oppose. Never mind the liberal/conservative dichotomy; just give us honest reporting and fairness.


You want "honest reporting and fairness" from the Boston Globe, Kevin? The beacon of journalistic integrity that published hardcore pornographic pictures last year, believing that they were breaking a story about US troops raping Iraqi women? The veritable pillar of honesty that gave in-depth page-one coverage to the Rathergate memos, and a week later, ran a small "Oh, by the way..." piece on Page 29 about how the authenticity of said memos might be in question.

Don't hold your breath, Kevin. But, I agree, the Globe really should have devoted more space to their coverage of this "support the troops" rally that you attended. It would have been nice to have thousands of New Englanders waking up to see some of these pictures gracing the front page of their beloved Sunday Globe.

I'll tell ya, Kevin, I'm still looking for those patriotic supporters of the brave men and women of United States Armed Forces that you claim were just EVERYWHERE. What I am seeing there are a bunch of unwashed hippies, communists, and anarchists. And, of course, a healthy number of good old-fashioned nutjobs.

Curiously absent is anything resembling a "We Support Our Troops" sign.

And I can count all the American flags being flown by these "patriots" on my antennae.

They must have been just out of view of the camera.

Trust me, Kevin. It was no "accident" or "right-wing media bias" (for which, of course, the Boston Globe is worldly renowned) that kept the Globe from giving this event the full coverage it "deserved". They went to great lengths to pick and choose only the words and pictures that would further their leftist, anti-Bush agenda without alienating their "moderate" readers who don't know any better (or read my blog).

UPDATE: More photoblogging here, here, here, here, and here.

And, as if you couldn't figure it out on your own, our side has way hotter chicks than theirs. Case in point:



El defenso resto.

(pics "borrowed" from the sites linked above - thanks, all)

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Happy Birthday To Me

Very happy, I'd say.

Back when I was merely dating his daughter, it was a bottle of Black Bush whiskey. Must be the grandchildren.

Monday, September 26, 2005

86 Dead at 82

R.I.P. Maxwell Smart.

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- Don Adams, the wry-voiced comedian who starred as the fumbling secret agent Maxwell Smart in the 1960s television spoof of James Bond movies, "Get Smart," has died. He was 82.

Another Weekend in Our Gun Control Utopia

Yes-sir-ee, our common-sense gun control laws, of which our "progressive" leadership is so proud, were really paying big dividends this weekend in the Greater Boston area. Stop me if you've heard this one before.

In Boston...

...police found a 16-year-old Dorchester male face down with a gunshot wound to the neck.

Two 18-year-olds ... were also shot by an unknown gunman...

A 27-year-old Roxbury man shot multiple times...

A 22-year-old man shot in the groin during an argument at M&M's Jazz Club in Grove Hall...

Oops, they missed one.

An 18-year-old Charlestown youth was shot in his throat and face last night after a gang of men jumped him and dragged him into Franklin Park.

...across the Charles...

Two women who hailed cabs around closing time near Faneuil Hall were instead driven to Cambridge and sexually assaulted, that city's police said.

Wait a minute! Innocent women who have been rendered defenseless by their elected officials were assaulted by a predatory criminal with no respect for the law or the lives of others? I'm simply shocked! Does he not realize that aggravated sexual assault is against the law?

I'm stunned that the prospect of having some liberal, Dukakis-appointee of a judge sentencing him to a year's probation failed to deter him from this horrendous behavior.

...and across the Chelsea.

A 25-year-old Chelsea man is dead after a late night shooting...

The authorities' tired, worn-out boilerplate response? They ask citizens to "get involved", acknowledging that the police can't solve these crimes without the public speaking up. That's worked out well for this family.

A 10-year-old girl is sparking a crime-fighting revolution in her drug- and violence-plagued South Boston housing development, a bittersweet victory as she prepares to go into hiding after a death threat.

"I'm scared and proud at the same time," said Christina, who asked that her last name not be used, as she huddled with her mother in the living room of their small apartment at the Old Colony Housing Development. Her mother spent part of the day packing the family's sparse possessions in preparation for a hasty departure.

On Saturday night, Christina learned from a friend that men in the neighborhood planned to kill her, possibly because of a crackdown on crime that started when she penned a letter to Mayor Thomas M. Menino.

Remember that the next time some bloated politician insists that ordinary people "get involved", because the police can't solve these crimes on their own. They want people to get involved and rat out their neighborhood thugs, but they fight tooth and nail to prevent these same people from obtaining the means to defend themselves from the violent, criminal scum who control the streets in their communities.

And I especially loved the part about the city's crackdown on crime that "started when she penned a letter" to Menino last week - a mere 4,460 days since he began serving as mayor of Boston.

Better late than never, I suppose.

But, to be fair, you can't blame the city for all of this. I mean, it's not like the police aren't out there doing their job.

Police responded to The Landing at 6 Long Wharf at 7:30 p.m. Saturday and found the bar was running televisions illegally, the restroom doors were padlocked and just a week ago a man was so drunk he was rolled out in a wheelchair.

The bar owners were ticketed for operating three televisions without a license...


Planning Ahead

A house is shown surrounded by flood waters from Hurricane Rita,
Sunday, Sept. 25, 2005, in Abbeyville, La. (AP Photo/David L. Ryan)

(link here)

From the Dept. of "No Shit, Sherlock"

1,800 on welfare may be avoiding work


Reading further into that Boston Globe article, I discovered that I might have been eligible to stay home and collect a welfare check in october of 2003 and 2004.

Under federal rules, a person with some symptoms of depression, such as a loss of appetite, trouble sleeping, and feelings of guilt or worthlessness, as well as a "marked deficiency" in concentration, could be classified as disabled. But under the state rules, a person with symptoms of depression and any problem concentrating might qualify.

Damn it, I'm getting my application in early this year.

The victory enabled the defending World Series champions to remain tied atop the AL East with the New York Yankees, who beat Toronto 8-4. New York opens a four-game series in Baltimore on Monday, and Boston plays four home games against Toronto before closing with three against the Yankees at Fenway.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Good Guys 1, Bad Guys 0

I was planning on taking a break from blogging over the weekend, really, I swear. But, I couldn't pass up posting this important update to this previous post.

No Charges For Homeowner Who Killed Intruder

(AP) ROCHESTER, NH - The attorney general says a Rochester, New Hampshire man who fatally shot a home intruder won't face criminal charges.


Authorities say Gaedtke had ignored several verbal warnings to leave before Hammann reached for his gun. They said at the time of the shooting, Gaedtke was naked and headed toward a child's bedroom. He died of a single shot to the chest.


UPDATE: More from the New Hampshire Union Leader:

Investigators also revealed yesterday further bizarre behavior from Gaedtke that led to the shooting. He was reportedly naked and clutching a tube of mechanical lubricant when he ripped down a window screen and climbed into Hamann's house.


Hamann told police that he warned Gaedtke to get away when he spotted the intruder on the roof outside the couple's bedroom. Jocelynn Hamann hurried from the bedroom, grabbed her 1-year-old child and called police, according to investigators.

At the same time, Hamann showed Gaedtke his unloaded handgun as a further deterrent but Gaedtke entered the couple's bedroom and walked down a hallway toward a second bedroom where Hamann's wife and youngest child were, according to Ayotte's office.

During the home invasion, Gaedtke reportedly yelled, "I'm coming to get you," repeatedly and was in a hallway between Geoff Hamann and his family before Hamann, who served in the U.S. Marines, loaded his gun and shot Gaedtke. Investigators said there was no evidence of a previous connection between the Hamanns and Gaedtke.

The world is a better place today, because of people like Mr. Hamann. This man is a hero in every sense of the word. Anyone who would seek to deprive him of his God-given right to protect his wife and children from scumbags like that can kiss my white Scotch-Irish-Canadian-American ASS!

Line forms on the left, Ted.

From My Hard Drive To Yours - vol. 2

You Are The Everything - REM

I will never not like this song.

(right-click, save as, you know the drill)

Friday, September 23, 2005

See You Monday

I'm signing off for the weekend.

I have my "From My Hard Drive To Yours" song all lined up for Saturday - one that evokes a very specific memory from my past, involving a ridiculously cute waitress and a sailboat.

Gun Control: A Serial Rapist's Best Friend

Needless to say, this didn't happen in Massachusetts.

The woman says she heard her blinds rustling in her living room and got a gun. She sat up in bed with the gun, and when the man entered her bedroom, she shot at him. She missed, but the blast was enough to make the man take flight.

Of course, Sarah Brady and her band of bloviating ballbags (including our esteemed senators) would rather have had the news item above detailing how that woman was brutally raped and murdered in her own bed.

Each to his own, I suppose.

Worthless fuckers.

(link via the lovely Sondra)

I Got Nothin'

There's a Weekend Caption Contest up over at Wizbang! this morning. Give it a shot if you want. Whenever I try, I find myself experiencing difficulty forming complete sentences. Yowza!

Rope, Tree, You Know the Drill

Remember 10-year-old Christina and the letter she wrote to Mayor Menino asking him to address the problem of violent crime running rampant in her public housing development? Remember his courageous response cop-out?

Menino said he read the letter. "I was moved. It took a lot of courage for her to write it." Menino said cuts by the federal government have resulted in fewer police officers to patrol the city's housing developments.

And, I suppose this is Bush's fault too, eh, Tommy-boy?

I-Team: High Paid City Worker Caught Off The Clock

(CBS4) BOSTON An exclusive I-Team investigation. Your hard earned tax dollars going to waste. Our hidden cameras catch one of Mayor Menino’s political operatives tucked away in a high paying job in the Boston Police Department. I-Team reporter Joe Bergantino has the disturbing results of a two month investigation.

Until recently, Jim Sullivan was one very lucky guy. He’s Mayor Tom Menino’s top political operative in Brighton. And he’s been head of the Boston Police Department’s Central Supply Division, a city job that has paid him $97,000 a year. His responsibilities: to keep track of all of the Boston Police supplies, as well as seized property and evidence stored at this warehouse in Hyde Park.

A demanding job? Well on one particular day Sullivan shows up for work at 11:56 a.m..

At 3:09 p.m., our cameras watch Sullivan leaving for the day.

Total time on the job: 3 hours, 13 minutes.

So what else did Sullivan do that day?

At 3:20 p.m. our hidden cameras caught him grocery shopping at Roche Brothers in West Roxbury.

By 4:24 p.m., he was back to his apartment in Brighton for the rest of the afternoon.

An unusual day for Jim Sullivan?


The I-Team watched Sullivan for several days over several weeks.

His routine: Get to work in the afternoon and leave after only a few hours.

Average number of hours worked: about 3 hours a day.

On two of the days we trailed Sullivan, he didn’t go to work at all.

His time sheet? It says he was at work for eight hours every one of those days.

Hmmm...let's see. Hire a handful of additional police officers to combat the rising violent crime in the inner city, or divert those precious taxpayer dollars toward the hiring of a couple political hack flunkies for high-paying, do-nothing, no-show jobs?

Real tough fucking choice, ASSHOLE!

What a reprehensible douchebag. Who keeps voting for this clown?

Keep in mind, Jim Sullivan wasn’t fired for what amounts to stealing from taxpayers.

He’s still on the police payroll, now making $83,000 a year. As for Sullivan’s secretary, the wife of one of the Mayor’s best friends, a police source tells us she won’t be punished for filling out Sullivan’s falsified time sheets because she wasn’t the boss. One big question here-how many other political operatives are tucked away in no-show jobs in Boston city government and how much are they costing all of us?

Disgraceful beyond measure.


Here's a MGCSS/DHBA triple-shot to help you get an early jump on your weekend reading.

First up, a couple items out of Worcester, where the chief of police chief has, for all intents and purposes, unilaterally ceased issuing Worcester residents firearms licenses.

And, boy, it's a good thing this guy didn't have a gun. Otherwise, these innocent children might have had to witness him shooting some worthless sack-o'-shit criminal scuzball. As it was, they only had to watch said scuzball shoot the guy in the neck.

WORCESTER, Mass. -- A man was shot and wounded in the neck in front of two children during a home invasion in Worcester.

Gun Control - it's For the ChildrenTM.

Then there's this story of one Mr. Oscar Machicote. It seems Mr. Machicote, a convicted felon, was arrested in Worcester for (surprise!) possessing a handgun. Hey, wait a second! I believe that would be against the law.

The Indictment charges that on November 23, 2004, MACHICOTE, a previously convicted felon, was found in Worcester to be in possession of a Colt .45 caliber pistol. Federal law prohibits individuals previously convicted of a federal or state felony from possessing firearms or ammunition.

If convicted, MACHICOTE faces a mandatory minimum sentence of 15 years in prison up to a maximum of life, and a $250,000 fine.

And, to top that off, that Colt .45 isn't on Attorney General Reilly's roster of firearms approved for sale in Massachusetts. Oh boy, Oscar's in big trouble now! Oh, wait, that list only applies to the most responsible, law-abiding citizens of the Commonwealth. I keep forgetting. My bad.

Meanwhile, sur La Rive Gauche:

Sept. 14, 10:30 p.m., a resident reported being approached on Vassal Lane by a black male, 14 to 16 years old, 5 feet, 7 inches, short hair, long orange shirt and jeans, who asked for directions and then pulled out a small handgun and demanded her purse. He fled with the purse toward Fayerweather Street.

11 p.m., a woman reported being approached by a male and female while at Cedar and Harvey streets. The female, described to be white, in her 20s, 5 feet, 7 inches, 150 pounds, dark hair, dark T-shirt and dark jeans, asked the woman for the time while the male, described to be black, in his 20s, 5 feet, 7 inches, dark clothes, produced what looked like a handgun. Both suspects demanded money and fled up the street with the victim's purse.

Sept. 15, 12:05 p.m., an employee of 1369 Coffee House in Inman Square reported that a Hispanic male, in his 20s, 5 feet 8 inches, 155 pounds, wearing a black hoodie, Red Sox hat, dark black baggy pants and a bandana over his face, displayed a handgun and demanded money before fleeing with $800.

Sept. 17, an employee of Sandy's Market, 1295 Cambridge St., reported a suspect walked into the store, pointed a long, silver barrel gun at him and said, "Give me your money." The suspect is described as a white male, 5 feet, 9 inches, 160 pounds, wearing a ski mask and stocking over his face. He fled with money.

HA! You see! No one in these reports was actually killed - therefore gun control works! Hooray!!!

This Isn't Good

Breaking News: A bus carrying elderly evacuees fleeing Hurricane Rita has exploded on I-45 near Dallas.

UPDATE: Early report here.

UPDATE: As many as 20 killed. Damn.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Another Assault Weapon Story in the News

One person is dead and 13 are injured at the hands of a deranged lunatic in a horrific bloodbath in front of Bally's casino on the Las Vegas strip. I ask you - how many more innocents must fall victim to these high-capacity killing machines before Congress takes notice and does something about it?

LAS VEGAS --A driver intentionally steered his car onto a sidewalk on the crowded Las Vegas Strip and then accelerated in a deadly scene resembling "humans being mowed down like a lawnmower," police said Thursday.

One person died and 13 were hospitalized, many with major injuries, after Wednesday's crash. A 27-year-old man faces charges of murder and attempted murder, Deputy Police Chief Greg McCurdy said.

Besides, no one needs an "assault" weapon when the regular-capacity "sporting" variety will suffice.

Wrong Place at the Wrong Time

Alternate Title: Some Maintenance Workers Have All The Luck

Remember all the fear-mongering talk about our streets and playgrounds being flooded with Uzi's and AK-47's if the Clinton assault weapons ban was allowed to (thankfully) sunset last year? And how Massachusetts needed a statewide ban to keep that scenario from playing out in the Bay State?

Well, that plan worked out well.

Guns found near Taunton soccer field

TAUNTON -- A duffle bag containing three high-powered assault weapons and a knapsack full of ammunition were found near a soccer field off Baker Road, police said.

Lt. Philip B. Warish said the guns were loaded with magazines of ammunition.

"They were ready to go. There's no telling what they were going to be used for," said Warish.

The semiautomatic guns included an AR-15, AK-47 and Tech 9. Warish said the guns are in working order.


The bags were found by a maintenance worker Tuesday morning, Warish said.

But, those guns are all specifically banned by name in the Commonwealth's common sense "assault weapons" ban. Please don't tell me the law is ineffective at preventing criminals from obtaining these weapons. Why, my world would just crumble around me.

As far as these guns being "high-powered" is concerned, I guess that depends on your definition of "high-powered". Granted, around here, that would mean any gun that fires any kind of projectile - or even looks like one that does.

The Tec-9, while it might look sca-a-a-a-ary and induce spontaneous bowel movements with the likes of State Senator Jarrett Barrios, it is nothing more than a 9mm handgun, not what anyone familiar with firearms would describe as a "high-powered" weapon.

And just think - this happened in the crime-free city of Taunton.


UPDATE: Definition of an "assault weapon" per M.G.L.

Chapter 140: Section 121 Firearms sales; definitions; antique firearms; application of law; exceptions

"Assault weapon", shall have the same meaning as a semiautomatic assault weapon as defined in the federal Public Safety and Recreational Firearms Use Protection Act, 18 U.S.C. section 921(a)(30) as appearing in such section on September 13, 1994, and shall include, but not be limited to, any of the weapons, or copies or duplicates of the weapons, of any caliber, known as:

(i) Avtomat Kalashnikov (AK) (all models);
(ii) Action Arms Israeli Military Industries UZI and Galil;
(iii) Beretta Ar70 (SC-70);
(iv) Colt AR-15;
(v) Fabrique National FN/FAL, FN/LAR and FNC;
(vi) SWD M-10, M-11, M-11/9 and M-12;
(vi) Steyr AUG;
(vii) INTRATEC TEC-9, TEC-DC9 and TEC-22; and
(viii) revolving cylinder shotguns, such as, or similar to, the Street Sweeper and Striker 12

I highlighted the M-10 and M-11, because, as evidenced by an astute commenter, people around here wouldn't recognize a TEC-9 if it fell out of the sky and hit them on the head with the owner's manual attached.

I'm Sold

This is as good a reason as any I can think of to support the nomination of John Roberts for Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.

WASHINGTON - A second Judiciary Committee Democrat - Sen. Dianne Feinstein of California - announced Thursday she would oppose Supreme Court nominee John Roberts as his nomination made its way to the full Senate.

Let's recap: As of today, we've learned that Senators Kerry, Kennedy, and Feinstein all strongly oppose his nomination. Hmmmm...

That's three out of four, so far. I'd say my mind's solidly made up on the issue. And if you need a caption for that particular photograph, you have not been paying attention.

Chucky Schumer, as of this morning, has not indicated how he plans on voting (as if there are any lingering doubts). On that subject, I came across this picture today and have to wonder if "thumbs up" means "Screw 'em all!" in some kind of liberal secret code language of which I'm blissfully not aware.

UPDATE: It's another shocker, folks.

Schumer voted "no"

Also joining hands with the aforementioned Fantastic Four in opposing the nomination of Judge Roberts are these stalwart champions of the people's right to bear arms:

Barbara Boxer (D - California)
Jon Corzine (D - New Jersey)
Frank Lautenberg (D - New Jersey)

"Thumbs up", indeed!

And...just because.

Gun Control

If it results in just 30 dead innocents, and many more raped and beaten, in a one-week period, it will all be worth it.

September 22, 2005: Darfur rebels claim that soldiers and pro-government tribal militia are increasing their raids on villages, killing, raping and stealing as they do. At least 30 villagers have been killed in these raids in the last week.

Normally, this is where I'd tell Kofi Annan, and the rest of the useless UN cockboxes, to kiss my ass, but I wouldn't want my fecal matter to get contaminated on its way out.

(link via He Who Shall Not Be Linked)

The Joys of Organized Crime Labor

Let me start this post by saying I've got a better chance at becoming the next singer for INXS than this plan has at seeing the light of day (and don't worry, Vicki, I'll have a post up later with my thoughts on the "Rockstar: INXS" finale).

Romney wants teacher merit pay

Teachers could earn as much as a $15,000 increase in their pay next school year based on their students' test scores and other measures, according to a new plan the governor will unveil today.

Governor Mitt Romney plans to roll out the plan as part of several education initiatives he will recommend to the Legislature, according to an administration official, who spoke on condition of anonymity.

If approved by the Legislature,

Anyone living in Massachusetts with a minimum of four functioning brain cells can stop reading at this point.

...the $68 million a year in bonuses would take effect next school year and reward roughly 25,000 teachers a year, about a third of the state's teaching force.

Gee, more money for teachers! Who on earth could be opposed to that?

State teachers union officials pledged to fight the proposal, pointing out that similar efforts to start merit pay programs have failed elsewhere.

Note: the EFFORTS have failed, not the actual programs.

Education Commissioner David P. Driscoll said he and other state leaders expect a fight from unions.

No shit.

"The unions have got to come to grips with this," Driscoll said. "No longer can public education withstand the criticism to pay people according to how long they've been in the system. It's just ludicrous. Pay great teachers more. They deserve more."

Unfortunately, Mr. Driscoll here is operating under the false pretense that common sense and logic are forces that can exert influence on the minds and actions of our "progressive" elected officials.

And, speaking of reprehensible union thuggery...

Public opens fire on jakes for picket's traffic tie-up

Dozens of seething motorists lambasted Newton firefighters with profanity-laced Internet postings yesterday after an obnoxious union protest by the jakes-turned-jerks caused an infuriating 25-mile traffic jam on the Massachusetts Turnpike.

"You people put all of our lives at risk today with your stupidity," one message blared at the firefighters. "You are lucky no one was killed this morning with all the chaos and angry people."

The messages, posted on an online department guest book, came after the firefighters blocked traffic at Newton Corner yesterday morning while picketing over allegations of inadequate manpower and substandard equipment.

The demonstration created a bottleneck at Exit 17 in the eastbound lanes of Interstate 90, sparking concerns that medical employees, ambulances and other emergency workers were being blocked from urgent duties.

At one point, traffic was backed up to Interstate 495, according to Smart Routes, which reported that scattered accidents and breakdowns exacerbated the delays.

"What percentage of the people that you selfish fools (expletive) over today are Newton residents?" one irate commuter wrote in an online message. "Like others pointed out, the union said jump and you sheep followed." Others wrote of missing vital doctor's appointments as a result of the firefighters' insufferable action.

What a bunch of sorry little assholes. I would be hard-pressed to think of a more despicable way to discredit and tarnish the memories of the brave firefighters gave their lives on 9/11/01 than to prance around the streets making life miserable for the working men and women of the communities they've sworn to serve.

Here's what the King of the Assholes had to say:

The president of the firefighters union, Frannie Capello, acknowledged that his members walked into traffic but claimed with a straight face that they were not trying to inconvenience commuters. "It was not our intention to bother the public," Capello said. "This is not what we're all about."

This douchecrack was on the John Depetro show (WRKO) yesterday morning defending the actions of his brethren douchecracks here. He claimed they only walked across the intersection on the "walk" signal. When asked if they blocked the intersection when the light turned green, he merely answered (paraphrased), "Well, we had a lot of guys there. It was a long line."

A police official declined to comment when asked why the firefighters were not arrested or instructed to keep off roadways during their demonstration.

As if one has to ask.

From the Boston Globe's one-paragraph coverage:

Firefighters began their protest at 7:15, and each time the lights turned red, about 50 firefighters spilled into crosswalks, where some remained until the light turned green.

I gotta wonder. With such ringing endorsements as the ones provided by these fine union goons folks - the very backbones of morality, common-sense, and human decency - how could John Kerry have possibly lost the election last year?

It's as if they're out of touch with mainstream America. Who knew?

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Quote of the Day

"If you handcuff yourself to a tree you would die fairly quickly but maybe not as quickly as you would like."

(link via Drudge)

How Broad is Your Brush?

In Northeast, Minuteman Project finding few takers

ALBANY, N.Y. --The Minuteman Project is bringing its lawn chairs and border-watching volunteers to the Northeast starting Oct. 1, but its quest to catch illegal immigrants has a small problem.

Co-founder Chris Simcox says simply, "People on the East Coast couldn't care less."

OK, show of hands (for my east coast readers) - how many of you, if your work and family commitments would allow, would sign-up for a two-week stint on the northern border of Vermont or New Hampshire to assist in these efforts?

(raising hand)

Tuesday, September 20, 2005


Sen. Reid says he'll vote against Roberts

UPDATE: Senators Swiftboat and Swizzlestick speak.

CAPITOL HILL -- It comes as no surprise, but Sen. Edward Kennedy said that he will vote against confirming John Roberts as chief justice of the U.S. Supreme Court.


Sen. John Kerry, the 2004 Democratic presidential nominee, also announced Wednesday that he would vote against Roberts.

I'm as shocked as you are.

Priorities...or Lack Thereof

From the front page of today's Boston Herald, we read the story of 10-year-old girl named Christina, who wrote a letter to Boston Mayor Tom Menino asking him to do something about the disturbing violent crime rate in the Old Colony Housing Development in South Boston where she lives.

The mayor reportedly dislodged his head from his colon long enough to flip through his dog-eared copy of the John Kerry Playbook and offer this courageous response: "I blame Bush."

Menino said he read the letter. "I was moved. It took a lot of courage for her to write it." Menino said cuts by the federal government have resulted in fewer police officers to patrol the city's housing developments.

Meanwhile, back in the beautiful people section of the city where Menino hangs out with his taxpayer-funded, armed security detail and his gushing entourage of local media rumpswabs:

Warning: this is the dumbest thing you're likely to hear for a while, be warned.

It started late Sunday. At Old City Hall, a set of roller skates appeared on Benjamin Franklin. In the Public Garden, George Washington got a pair of purple velvet boots, his horse a set of gold heels. By midafternoon yesterday, Samuel Adams at Faneuil Hall had been transformed into a rapper, with a do-rag and a Boston Red Sox cap, worn sideways.

Well, Mumbles is a big hip-hop fan, we know.

"It must be a prank," sniffed one passerby yesterday as he eyed Adams's new, red-striped running shoes.

I wish.

Turns out, it was Mayor Thomas M. Menino's idea. Skyrocketing gas prices got him thinking that people in Boston should ditch their cars to walk more, the mayor says. So he brainstormed with a Boston advertising agency, raised money from local business leaders, and asked a team of artists from the School of the Museum of Fine Arts to fit the founding fathers and just about any other city icon with new shoes. The four artists finished yesterday at 2 p.m., just in time for the mayor's arrival at Faneuil Hall to promote the project.

"Walkability is what this city's all about," Menino said, smiling as he showed off his own pair of Reeboks, size 9 1/2 wide.

But it's not all about gas prices, he admits. The "Sneakers on Statues" campaign is part of a $50,000 tourism scheme, financed by organizations including state and city tourism bureaus and the Greater Boston Chamber of Commerce. It is akin to Chicago's Cows on Parade in 1999 and Toronto's Moose in the City in 2000, during which life-sized animal sculptures were credited with drawing 3 million visitors and some $600 million to those cities.

For those of you keeping score at home: Doing something constructive to make life better for the city's poorer children exposed to violent crime on a daily basis in their own front yards? Why that doesn't sound like fun at all. Besides, we all know that's not the mayor's problem to deal with - it's Dick Cheney's.

Washington now boasts what 20-year-old artist Ashley Ware calls "fetish boots" with black feathery trim -- because the founding father was "so stiff."

"We wanted to lighten him up a bit," Ware explained.

Franklin got the skates and a set of elbow pads because of his reputation as an innovator. Artist W. Thomas Porter, 25, said Franklin wouldn't have worn ordinary sneakers.

"That bro' would have put wheels on them," Porter said. "We had to give him something that would distinguish his intellect."

But, we've get ample time and resources to get a bunch of "artists" to run around and dress our founding fathers in roller skates and fetish wear. This sounds like a lot more fun that running a bunch of gun-toting crackheads out of town. Besides, which is more important for improving the quality of life for all Boston residents?

Well, we've now seen Menino's answer.

The campaign includes a website,, with sightseeing videos that city officials are calling "the sneakers' view" of the city. An interactive game converts the cost of a tank of gas into a list of activities that could be enjoyed for the same price.

You want to lower fuel costs and explore alternate sources of energy? Try coming up with a way to harness the energy being generated by our Founding Fathers rolling over in their graves underneath this once-proud city.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Gee, It's Been a While...

...since I've done a "More Stupid Fucking Dead Fucking Stupid Kids" post. This latest case of voluntary pavement poisoning comes from over the border in the Green Mountain State of Vermont.

Police: Man dies while mimicking TV show

WEST RUTLAND, Vt. --A 19-year-old Shrewsbury man died after he jumped from a moving vehicle while imitating a stunt from the television show "Jackass," the Vermont State Police said.

Police are treating the death of Adam Page as an "apparent accidental death."


A friend of Page videotaped the stunt from the front passenger seat and then grabbed the wheel. Two unidentified juveniles were sitting in the back seat of the car, one of whom was also videotaping the stunt, police said.

Let's recap - Deputy Dimbulb here "accidentally" jumped from a freakin' moving vehicle (while he was apparently the one driving it!) while two of his rocket scientist drinking buddies in the back seat "accidentally" had their camcorders trained on his stupid, soon-to-be lifeless ass. How fucking "accidental" of it all.

After Page jumped from the car, the friend, Adam Cota, 18, turned the car around and drove back to where Page was laying in the roadway.

Well, they did turn around to scrape him up see if he was OK. That was awfully nice of them. I'll tell you, the ghost of Charles Darwin must have been smiling down on the rest of these little bastards. They're lucky they didn't all become guardrail garnish.

They called for an ambulance after realizing Page was unresponsive. Page was pronounced dead on the way to the hospital.


Alright, let the hate mail commence - especially that which attempts to dismiss this behavior as normal adolescent horseplay, and includes the phrases "Like you haven't done something like that!", and, "Who are you to judge him?" Or, better yet, my all-time favorite, "He was the smartest, most caring person you could ever hope to meet."

I stand by my words. This kid was a friggin' moron (heavy emphasis on "was").

UPDATE: Here's more.

Police say Page was driving at about 30 miles an hour yesterday when he set the cruise control of his car and then jumped out the door.

Gee, I take it all back. He was a fucking genius, after all. It's a real shame he won't be around to date my daughters in 13 years. He could have tutored them in Newtonian physics.

Pass the Sno-Caps

From the Brockton Enterprise (presented without commentary):

The pictures were damaging. Image after pornographic image — dredged out of then-East Bridgewater Treasurer-Collector Frank Savino's Town Hall computer — were projected on a 5-foot screen for selectmen during a June disciplinary hearing.

Not Too Quick On The Uptake

In the wake of Hurricane Katrina, Massachusetts officials are now beginning to take a look at the Commonwealth's emergency preparedness plans. Naturally, the thought of a potential mass-evacuation is on a lot of people's minds these days.

There's no need for alarm, though, people. Mayor Menino has a bold plan in the works for all the disadvantaged folks in the City of Boston who might lack the means to hightail it out of town on a moment's notice.

Gov: State Emergency Plans Need Updating

The failed response to the hurricane Katrina disaster in New Orleans has prompted Boston Mayor Thomas Menino to review the city's evacuation plans and what kind of shelter space is available.

"One of the things we have to do as you look forward is, where do people go? We're looking at the new convention center, Hynes, and places like that," Menino said.

Yeah, that sounds like a fabulous plan, given all that we witnessed in New Orleans over the last couple of weeks. Herd a bunch of scared, defenseless, and hungry people into a confined space (like, say, a convention center or "places like that") with a bunch of lowlife scumbags, knowing full well that electricity and sanitary facilities may be rendered non-existent within hours. Brilliant.

This is what passes for "looking forward" in Meninostan.

A Wickid Bahgain...I Hope

This guy's eBay Store seems to be a good place to look for extra magazines. I scored a pair of 8-round magazines for the Ruger last night for $36 (including shipping). We'll see how they work out.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Maybe It's Something in the Water

Remember this guy who might still be walking the earth had it not been for his dismal lack of reading comprehension skills?

Well, the New Hampshire chapter of Illiterate Dirtbags In Our Towns (I.D.I.O.T.) Brigade has struck again. From the New Hampshire Union Leader:

GOFFSTOWN -— Two men broke into a Channel Lane home Friday night but "fled immediately" when "confronted" by the homeowner, police said.

Sgt. Pat Sullivan said no further information was being released yesterday because detectives are still gathering evidence in the case. He would not comment when asked if the homeowner confronted them with a gun and would not name the homeowner.


A "No Trespassing" sign is posted on a white picket fence in front of the residence while a decal, with a drawing of a hand holding a revolver pointed outward at a caller, warns:

I'd say the decision to "flee immediately" was quite probably the smartest choice these two morons have made since the third grade.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

From My Hard Drive to Yours

Rather that resurrect the "Crappy 80's Song of the Week" theme from days gone by here at mAss Backwards, I am starting a new series of weekly posts in which I will share some of my favorite music with you.

I toyed with the notion of making this a weekly "crappy song" post, but I wouldn't want any of my readers to suffer some of the garbage I have on my hard drive. 'em, hate 'em, I don't care.

Life By the Drop by Stevie Ray Vaughn

(Right-click and do the old "save as..." thing, if you would be so kind.

UPDATE: Link will be taken down in two weeks.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Great Minds Think Alike

From the latest installment (#30) of the Carnival of Cordite, we see what Michelle Malkin was up to last weekend on 9/11.

Snarky comments criticizing her grouping will get you flogged.

Not Of the "Family" Variety, I Hope

Middleboro Man Finds Jewels In Snow Blower

From the Pages of the John Kerry Playbook

Let's play a little game called "Which of these Boston mayoral candidates is a shameless, patronizing ass?".

Candidate "A"

Age: 63

Neighborhood: Hyde Park

Kids: Susan and Thomas Jr. and six grandchildren

Favorite music: Showtunes, Aerosmith, Jimmy Buffett and hip-hop

Favorite sports: Baseball, football and basketball

Candidate "B"

Age: 53

Location: Jamaica Plain

Children: none

Music: jazz, oldies

Reading: poetry, Robert Frost, "The Road Not Taken"

UPDATE: OK, here's a hint.

News From North of the Border

Looks like another happy ending in the Granite State.

ROCHESTER -- Fremont man was shot to death about 1:45 a.m. yesterday at a home at 80 Pine St. in a case that neighbors say may be connected to a string of break-ins.

Bryan J. Gaedtke, 21, was carried in a body bag from the single-family house a block from the Rochester Fairgrounds. State Attorney General Kelly Ayotte's office is investigating the case with Rochester police; they disclosed few details yesterday.

But neighbors said they believed a resident of the home shot Gaedtke because he broke into the house in the middle of the night. A second-story window screen in the rear of the house was damaged.

Authorities would not comment on who shot Gaedtke or what type of gun was used, but said no charges have been filed in connection with the death.

I'm guessing the ex-perp neglected to survey the driveway before attempting to implement his personal wealth redistribution program.

Outside, colorful toys were scattered in the tidy yard enclosed by a chain-link fence. A baby stroller, a Subaru SUV and a Chevrolet pickup truck were parked in the driveway. A bumper sticker on the truck read: "Gun Control means using both hands."


(NH assistant AG, Peter) Odom said the public is not in danger.

Well, there's one for the "No Shit" file. To quote Inspector Clouseau, "Not anymoooore."

And, then there's this "shocker".

Gaedtke had brushes with the law before...

This article from the Union Leader mentions that the homeowner, Geoff Hamann, is a former Marine. Terrible choice of victim there on the part of Dudley Dirtnap.

All's well that ends well, I say.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

The Right to Remain Silent

From the Roslindale Transcript police logs:

Centre Street, West Roxbury. Lashawn Bruce Walker of 32 Temple St., Boston, was arrested and charged with uttering.

Puppy Prozac

File under: IWIWMTSU.

Just when you thought you'd heard it all, we're now putting our pets on Prozac.

Dog Bites Girl, 4

BOSTON -- A 4-year-old Cape Cod girl was bitten by a dog and suffered severe cuts to her face. She was rushed to Children's Hospital in Boston by helicopter Wednesday night, where she was recovering after four hours of surgery.

NewsCenter 5's Gail Huff reported that doctors operated on the girl's face after she was brought by helicopter from Marstons Mills on the Cape. The girls's grandmother told NewsCenter 5 that the child will likely require plastic surgery.

Police said the girl was mauled by a springer spaniel at someone else's home. Her parents had gone to buy a wood stove, they said, and the girl was left alone at the house with the dog.

Bad parents dog!

Springer spaniels are known to be good with children, an affectionate breed. In the past several years, the breed has become more popular in the United States because President George W. Bush is often photographed with his springer spaniel.

But some veterinarians said the gentle dogs can sometimes develop a condition called Springer Rage Syndrome, which primarily affects show dogs. Affected dogs are sometimes known to attack people without provocation. The syndrome is diagnosed by an animal behaviorist and can be treated with medication, such as Prozac.

"It wasn't Muffy's fault, your honor. Ever since that traumatic tennis ball incident down on the West Dennis Beach back in '98, she's been suffering from Springer Rage Syndrome. Here's a certified letter from her animal behaviorist affirming this. She must have forgotten to take her medication yesterday."

Some vets, however, dispute whether such a syndrome exists.

Only "some"?

The dog involved in Wednesday's attack has been quarantined for the next week pending the results of an investigation.

Springer Rage Syndrome? You fucking gotta be fucking kidding me!

How about "Criminally Negligent Parents Syndrome"? What kind of idiotic parent goes out shopping and leaves a four-year-old child unattended at someone else's home - regardless of whether a dog is present or not? There's a focus for your investigation. Morons!



Help! My world is crumbling around me!

Two days in a row, I find myself praising (read: not tearing him a new one) Boston Mayor Tom "Mumbles" Menino for employing basic common sense in his decision making (a trait all too rare 'round these parts).

Looking to continue a restaurant boom, Mayor Thomas M. Menino is seeking state permission to hand out more beer and wine licenses to lure more eateries to neighborhoods from Hyde Park to East Boston.

This can only mean one of two things.

(A) It's an election year

(B) He's been abducted by little green space people and replaced with a cloned alien lifeform.

I hope it's (B).

Kennedy vs. Schumer

So, a couple days ago, Jeff at Alphecca posed the following question after having watched a bit of the Roberts confirmation hearings.

Ya' know what? Let's have a quick and vulgar poll: Your answers in the comments. Who's the biggest turd? Chuck Schumer or Ted "the lifeguard" Kennedy?

In my biased opinion, the biggest turd (speaking both volumetrically and ideologically) is Senator Backstroke - hands down.

Case in point:

"The tragedy of Katrina shows in the starkest terms why every American needs an effective national government that will step in to meet urgent needs that individual states and communities cannot meet on their own," Sen. Edward M. Kennedy said in a statement prepared for the opening of hearings."

Yeah, that was the real problem in New Orleans, Senator - not enough people being dependent of the federal government for assistance. Golly gee - if we can just get "every American" to buy into that program, all our troubles would be over, and we could get back to our macrame projects and drum circles.

Frickin' moron.

It seems to me, Senator, that the communities that were best able to meet their "urgent needs" on the heels of Hurricane Katrina were the communities comprised of responsible, prepared, and well-armed law-abiding citizens who banded together to defend their neighbors' lives, liberty, and property from the lawless thugs roaming the streets (whether the thugs in question wore a badge or not).

It makes me wish our forefathers had possessed the foresight to recognize the immeasurable value of having that kind of citizen's militia established throughout our country, and incorporated the preservation of such into the Bill of Rights.

Hey, wait a minute...

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

The Blind Squirrel Strikes Again

Yes, it's one of those rare occasions when I find myself in complete agreement with Boston mayor Tom Menino, but as they say, even a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while.

From the Boston Globe:

An angry Mayor Thomas M. Menino overruled yesterday an order by Fire Commissioner Paul Christian to paint over murals on two firehouse doors memorializing firefighters killed during rescue efforts after the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.

"To take down an American flag, it's irresponsible," Menino said, adding that he interceded after a painter hired by the Fire Department arrived at Engine 24 Ladder 23 in Grove Hall and began painting the doors red.

The tribute -- two American flags with the number 343, the number of firefighters who died in the World Trade Center -- has been in place since 2002. By the time the mayor intervened, half the memorial had been covered over.

"During these difficult times at home and on the battlefield, we should be doing everything to display the American flag, not cover it up," said Menino, adding that he will order the flag restored.

"I'm going to make sure it's back as quickly as possible," he said. "It's going back up."

Regardless of any political motives (he is up for re-election this year) or union ass-kissing that might be behind the Mayor's actions here, he did the right thing and I'll be among the first to say so.

FWIW, the over/under on the time until my next anti-Menino post is sitting at 1.5 days. Any takers?

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Smelling the Coffee

As much as it must have pained them to run this story, the Boston Globe reports that gun sales in Baton Rouge, and much of the Gulf Coast area are booming (pun intended), despite the recent announcement by Wal-Mart to discontinue gun sales in the area.

Spillway Sportsman, near Baton Rouge, sold 172 guns in one three-day period after the hurricane, when normally it might sell 15. One mother came in to buy her first gun after she and her two children, ages 9 and 12, witnessed a slaying on the streets of New Orleans, said Scott Roe, Spillway's owner.

"Her comment was, 'I was a card-carrying, antigun liberal -- not anymore,' "Roe said. "She said, 'I'm going back home, and I am not going back unarmed.' "

There's one more parent who has realized that she alone is ultimately responsible for the safety and well-being of her children. It's a shame Senator Barrios, Mayor Menino, and the rest of the gun-grabbing "progressives" that run this state would rather see her children orphaned by a looter looking for crack money.

But, hey...crackheads vote too!

Sadly, there are some people, even in the region impacted by Hurricane Katrina, who still don't get it. It's as if they've been living in their own little fantasy worlds devoid of all sense of reality for the last week and a half (though likely much longer).

Wal-Mart's decision to stop gun sales also earned it praise from several customers, who said police would protect them from any trouble.

"Why can't we get along? This is a time of crisis," said Mike White of Kenner, La. He said people who need guns for legitimate reasons, such as hunting, would not be buying now.

Mike White of Kenner, Louisiana is an idiot of the highest order.

(link via Smallest Minority - how did I miss this one?)

For Everything Else, There's FEMA Debit Cards

On the quickly abandoned FEMA debit card welfare program, I had this ridiculously obvious observation to make last week:

So, these cards could also be used for cigarettes, liquor, and iPods?

Where do I sign up?

Well, here's one I hadn't considered (from the Cape Cod TImes).

As state police continued to screen the 200-plus Katrina survivors living at Camp Edwards for criminal histories, six known male sex offenders remain among the residents of a dormitory housing single men.


The evacuees were not screened before leaving New Orleans.

Another evacuee, John Kitchens, 46, was arrested Thursday night on a fugitive-from-justice warrant, arraigned in Falmouth District Court, and held on $250,000 bail. He remained at the Barnstable County Correctional Facility last night.

Cummings confirmed Kitchens had several hundred dollars in his possession at the time, some of it stuffed in his underwear. Cummings also confirmed that Kitchens sought to bail himself out with a debit card issued by the federal government.


Monday, September 12, 2005


Looks like they're one boob short down in D.C., as of Monday.

WASHINGTON - Mike Brown, the subject of blistering criticism after Hurricane Katrina battered the Gulf Coast and overwhelmed the government's response, quit Monday as director of the Federal Emergency Management Agency.

Let's Hope This is Just a Coincidence


NEW YORK - A tape delivered to ABC News in Pakistan this weekend features a masked man making terrorist threats against Los Angeles and Australia.


LOS ANGELES - A large portion of Los Angeles was blacked out Monday when electrical power was lost.

The power got knocked out shortly before 1 p.m. after two power surges.

Traffic lights throughout downtown and the San Fernando Valley were not working, causing major traffic problems, according to video from helicopter news crews.

Downtown highrises also were darkened.

The city's department of water and power said it was investigating the cause and extent of the outage.

I'd say they've got until 7:30 PM Pacific Time to get that fixed before nightfall. After that, all bets are off and it's open season for the local looters union.

UPDATE: DOH!!! [/homer]

Utility workers connected the wrong wires and caused a blackout across major portions of Los Angeles on Monday afternoon, trapping people in elevators and snarling traffic at intersections, authorities said.

I hate when I do that.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Range Report

Well, I just got back from the emergency room. The doctors said there's nothing they can do. I'm going to have to wait for this shit-eating grin to go away on its own.

I took the new Ruger out to the range this afternoon for her maiden voyage. She did not disappoint. I'll spare you the details, and let the pictures do the talking - they are, after all, worth 1,000 words apiece. So, without further ado...

mAss Backwards 9/11 Range Report:
Billionaire Islamic Terrorist Scumbag Edition

This is but one of the half dozen or so targets of this nature we went through today. I saved this one as it contains the result of my "Old vs. New" test, pitting my new Ruger P345 against this drool-worthy specimen of .45-caliber happiness (thanks to Jay for sharing this treasure).

The "flyers", if you can call them that, came from the 1911. Granted it was the first magazine I had ever shot through it (as opposed to maybe the 5th or so I had ever shot out of the Ruger), so this is by no means a definitive comparison of the two firearms' capabilities.

I guess more hands-on experimentation is in order.


Twist my arm.

Jay has more here, to which I would like to add a hearty "Amen, brother!".

Saturday, September 10, 2005

1,461 Days

I Was Just Minding My Own Business...

...when this followed me home yesterday.

That's the Ruger P345 (stainless) with accessory rail. Ready to dispense 230 grains of .45-caliber jacketed hollowpoint goodness. $399 plus tax at Four Seasons Firearms in Woburn.

Will be breaking her in tomorrow at the Harvard Sportsmen's Club accompanied by the usual suspects. Range report (and happy, smily pics) to follow.

(note to self: get some t-shirts made up, so you can stop plugging Aaron's site)

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Diet Shasta or TAB, Maybe

But, a beer can? I don't think so.

Beer Can Safe - The Chicago Crime Commission says that a
burglar spends an average of 8 minutes in your home, and a
hiding place for your valuables is the best way to keep
them out of their hands. The look-a-like container has a
removable lid to give you access, and is undistinguishable
from the real thing, even weighted to feel full!

Because someone who kicks in your front door and enters your home for the sole purpose of stealing your valuables, with no regard for the safety of anyone who might be in the house at the time, is going to pause when he gets to the fridge to think about how morally reprehensible it would be to drink your beer without your permission.

Are You Ready For Some Football?

I know, I know. It feels like it's been months since the Patriots won their last Super Bowl. Well, buckle up, kids. The wait is over. Football season is upon us at last!

Naturally, much of the talk among the "experts" is centered around the Patriots' chances of winning an unprecedented third consecutive championship. Some are saying it's unlikely, due to the recent departure of some key members of their coaching staff. Others say it's entirely probable, given Bill Belichick's ability to make the best out of what he's got and Tom Brady's proven leadership skills.

This latest Yahoo Sports poll is running 2:1 "Nay".

Here's a quick look at the last seven teams that had the opportunity to win a third consecutive Super Bowl title. Three of the seven made it as far as the conference championship game, while another three failed to make it to the playoffs. Could this be the year Payton Manning figures out a way to beat Tom Brady and bring a conference title home to Indianapolis?

As I am fond of saying, we shall see.

1999 Denver Broncos (6-10)
Last place AFC West

1994 Dallas Cowboys (12-4)
1st place NFC East
Lost the NFC Championship Game to San Francisco (38-28)

1990 San Francisco 49'ers (14-2)
1st place NFC West
Lost the NFC Championship Game to New York Giants (15-13)

1980 Pittsburgh Steelers (9-7)
3rd place AFC Central

1976 Pittsburgh Steelers (10-4)
1st place AFC Central
Lost the AFC Championship Game to Oakland (24-7)

1974 Miami Dolphins (11-3)
1st Place AFC East
Lost AFC Divisional Playoff Game to Oakland (28-26)

1968 Green Bay Packers (6-7-1)
3rd place NFL Central

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Paved With Good Intentions

No opportunity for fraud, abuse and black market enterprising here. Nope. None at all.

WASHINGTON - The federal government plans to begin doling out debit cards worth $2,000 each to adult victims of Hurricane Katrina, The Associated Press has learned.


The cards could be used to buy food, transportation, gas and other essentials the displaced people need, according to a state official who was on the call and requested anonymity because the program has not been publicly announced.

So, these cards could also be used for cigarettes, liquor, and iPods?

Where do I sign up?

Now, Where's My Lighter?

Can't wait for this show to hit the road next year.

BAGHDAD (Reuters) - Saddam Hussein has confessed to crimes and should be hanged "20 times," his successor as Iraq's president said on Tuesday while confirming that he will not sign a death warrant himself.

Tickets for opening night at Al Shaab Stadium in Baghdad go on sale Saturday at 10AM at the box office and through all Ticketmaster outlets. Don't hesitate - these shows will sell out fast. Ticket sale dates for the remaining 19 shows to be announced soon.

"Hangin' With Saddam" - 2006 World Tour

Middle East

3/15 Baghdad, Iraq - Al Shaab Stadium
3/16 Kirkuk , Iraq - Al Kirkuk Stadium
3/18-19 Kuwait City, Kuwait - Kazma SC Stadium (2 NIGHTS!)
3/22 Jerusalem, Israel - Teddy Maiha Stadium
3/24 Tel Aviv, Israel - Nokia Arena
3/29 Amman, Jordan - International Stadium
4/1 Istanbul, Turkey - Atatürk Olimpiyat Stadi


4/22 London, UK - Twickenham Stadium
4/24 Edinburgh, Scotland - Murrayfield
4/29 Warsaw, Poland - Dziesieciolecia Stadion


5/27 Houston, Texas - Reliant Stadium
5/29 Irving, Texas - Texas Stadium
6/1 Jacksonville, Florida - ALLTEL Stadium
6/3 Clemson, South Carolina - Memorial Stadium
6/8 Columbus, Ohio - Ohio Stadium
6/13 Lincoln, Nebraska - Memorial Stadium
6/17 Denver, Colorado - INVESCO Field
6/20 Tempe, Arizona - Sun Devil Stadium
7/4 Washington, DC - RFK Memorial Stadium

* Ted Nugent is scheduled to be the opening act for this leg of the tour - get there early. Cameras, video and tape recorders, and glass containers will be permitted.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Rest in Peace, Little Buddy

Bob Denver (aka: Gilligan) 1935-2005.

LOS ANGELES - Bob Denver, whose portrayal of goofy first mate Gilligan on the 1960s television show "Gilligan's Island," made him an iconic figure to generations of TV viewers, has died, his agent confirmed Tuesday. He was 70.

Pop Quiz Time...Again

I hope you've been doing your homework, people.

Part I

Which of the following people described below represents a greater threat to the safety and well-being of the citizenry of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts?

(A) A law-abiding gun collector with a license to carry a concealed firearm who had the misfortune of having his weapon exposed after a gust of wind blew open his jacket.

(B) A U.S. Army doctor applying for a permit to keep a firearm in his home.

(C) A U.S. Army reservist seeking permission to own a pistol for recreational purposes.

(D) A 19-year-old "undocumented immigrant" who's admitted to threatening to murder a police officer while illegally carrying a handgun.

Part II

Now guess which of the individuals above was treated with the most compassion and understanding, and now stands the best chance of having all the inalienable rights of a law-abiding American citizen bestowed upon him by the powers that be in the "progressive" Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

Once again, words fail me.

Teen given second chance

By Sara Withee / Daily News Staff
Saturday, September 3, 2005

MILFORD -- A Brazilian teen who threatened to shoot and kill a Milford cop has been given a chance to clear his criminal record so he can seek permanent residency in the United States.

William Leite, 19, of 5 Pond St., Milford, was placed on six months' probation yesterday after admitting sufficient facts to threatening to commit the crime of murder. He threatened to shoot Officer Carlos Sousa with a .38 caliber handgun in May and said he was "going to take care" of him, police said.

Leite's case will be continued without a finding for six months while he serves probation and must stay at home except for work or school. The charge will be dismissed if Leite complies with all probation conditions, allowing him to seek a green card because he has no other criminal record.

But Milford District Court Judge Robert Calagione warned the teen, who appeared in court with his parents, siblings and church pastor, he will not get another chance.

"This conduct is totally unacceptable....If you want to remain in this country legally, there are certain responsibilities that come with that," Calagione said.

Leite's attorney, Kevin Leeper of Framingham, said his client has learned his lesson over the past few months. His arrest came the same week as his appointment with immigration officials to start the green card process, which his family is eligible for because of his father's work, Leeper said. The family had spent four years preparing, he said.

Leite went immediately to the appointment after his parents posted $10,000 bail for his release, but the process has hinged on his criminal case, Leeper said.

"It's an incredible gift to get a green card," he said. "This gentleman knows how precious that is."

And Massachusetts is the only state in the country currently experiencing a declining population.

Quel surprise.

Cry Me A (Piscataqua) River

As the father of two young girls, I can't say I'll be losing much sleep over this.

BOSTON -- A Massachusetts man who was due in court Tuesday morning killed himself Monday by jumping off the Interstate 95 bridge between New Hampshire and Maine.

Harrison Vieira, 45, of Saugus, Mass., was arrested over the weekend in Boston on charges he took obscene pictures of young girls at the New England Aquarium. Vieira was accused of holding a camera under their dresses and snapping photos.

50 bonus points for whoever can come up with the best argument showing how this was George Bush's fault.

UPDATE: Welcome, Wizbang readers. Pull up a chair, have a look around, and I'll try to scare up a couple pints of Guinness.


Monday, September 05, 2005

It's Black and White

Yet it has NOTHING to do with the color of one's skin.

mAss Backwards, September 2, 2005

It's Time, People

And, please, spare me this whole "but they've been oppressed by the man" argument. I've been watching as much news coverage over the last couple of days as the next guy. What I've seen is that most of the people trapped in New Orleans, the poorest of the poor, have been banding together to help their neighbors get through this horrifying ordeal - people working together to save the lives of total strangers. These are people who have literally NOTHING but the clothes on their back, yet they remain focused on helping their brothers and sisters to survive.

This is not a black vs. white issue.

This is not a rich vs. poor issue.

This is simply a matter of decent, law-abiding people who have no choice but to share this planet with walking piles of amoral, subhuman filth.

Jeff Jacoby, Boston Globe, September 4, 2005

The looting instinct

HURRICANE KATRINA was horrific in its devastation, but the orgy of looting and lawlessness that exploded across New Orleans in its wake was, in a way, even more sinister. A natural disaster can inflict massive physical damage on a community. But when human beings become savages, they shred the ligaments of civilization -- fairness, trust, respect, consideration -- that make life as a community possible.


As New Orleans sank into anarchy, The Washington Post reminded its readers to steer clear of moral judgments. "What we think of as looting," Linton Weeks wrote on the front page of the Post's Style section, "may be more complicated than it seems." And vandals making off with DVDs or flat-screen TVs is "complicated" because -- why, exactly? Weeks didn't explain. He did, however, quote others who were "trying to understand the nuances of looting." Professor Benigno Aguirre of the University of Delaware: "It may look from the outside as if they are stealing or breaking the law, when in fact some of them are trying to survive."

But most of us have no trouble distinguishing between desperate people in need of food and water and brazen criminals descending to the level of primitives. Just as most of us understand that morality and virtue are never more essential than when disaster strikes.

If too many people behaved shamefully last week, countless others responded to Katrina's horror with goodness and courage -- from the heroism of those who braved the flood to rescue strangers to the torrent of private relief, hundreds of millions of dollars' worth, now pouring in from across the country.

In his classic "Man's Search for Meaning," the great psychoanalyst Viktor Frankl wrote: "There are two races of men in this world ... the 'race' of the decent man and the 'race' of the indecent man." Each of us chooses which "race" to belong to. In New Orleans last week, the decent and the indecent made their choice.

Case in point:

Boston Herald, September 5, 2005

Crowd turns ugly in close call for Hub cop

A lone cop trying to cuff a man firing bullets into the night sky in Roxbury early yesterday was confronted by nearly 200 frenzied, bottle-throwing, cursing youths.

By the end of the tense incident, eight people, including six teens, were arrested.

According to police, the officer walked into the crowd standing near Lawrence Avenue and Mascoma Street at 1:22 a.m. He watched Luis Rivera, 23, of Roxbury stand in the middle of the intersection, point a gun toward the sky, and squeeze off one round.

The cop began to approach Rivera, who apparently did not realize that a uniformed officer was in the crowd. As the officer closed in, several people in the crowd yelled to Rivera that the officer was approaching. Rivera fled, dropping the weapon as he ran, police said. The officer caught up to him and ordered him to the ground.

The crowd, seeing Rivera on the pavement, began to get unruly, cursing the cop, throwing bottles, and trying to help Rivera get away.

Upon receiving news of this incident, Boston Mayor Tom Menino was, no doubt, "outraged".


At one point, a woman approached Rivera and tried to assist him in getting away by pulling on his shirt and yelling, "Get up and run!"

George Bush made her do it.

Here's a thought.

If it's OK now for any celebrity du jour to jump in front of a TV camera and declare to the world that President Bush doesn't care about black people based on what they saw on CNN following Hurricane Katrina, what do you think they'd have to say about Menino's leadership in the City of Boston?

I mean, just because he's a Democrat doesn't mean they'd...oh...never mind.

After more than 4,400 days (and counting) serving as Mayor of Boston, Menino still presides over a city where the hard-working, lower-income minority residents are forced to live side-by-side with the lawless thugs that continue to plague the streets of the city. God help us all if we ever find ourselves facing a true disaster scenario here.

Perhaps, Menino's master plan has "Be reeeeally super-outraged this time" and "Get wickid tough on crime" kicking in sometime around Day 4,500 or so - right after the "1,000th park bench bearing my name on a plaque" celebrations die down a little bit.

Nothing to worry about folks, everything's running according to schedule.