Rhymes With Alcohol

DOH!

Quote of the Day

Five-Year-Old Daughter Watching Road Runner Cartoons Edition:

Bird seed and iron pellets? AGAIN???

Melted my friggin' heart, I tell ya.

Sox Win, Indians Lose (last night)

Red Sox have homefield advantage through the entire postseason.

F*** yeah!

The Next President of the United States (cont.)

J. Peter Mulhern at American Thinker has an excellent article up, in which he expands on a couple key points I made earlier this month on the differences between Fred Thompson and Rudy Giuliani, and the effects their respective candidacies would have on the 2008 election.

1. On presidential candidates' insatiable appetite for pandering to the masses, Mulhern writes:

Thompson, unlike all the others, has important themes to project and can't be bothered to pick up a few supporters here and there by promising to serve the interests of those few at the expense of the many.

I couldn't agree more:

Because his campaign is based on a set of core principles and beliefs, and not a well-lubricated political weather vane, you won't see Fred out on the campaign trail one day pandering to a particular group of voters, only to whip around in a neck-snapping 180-degree turn to attract a different group of voters the next day.

Trying to be everything to everybody is a sure-fire recipe for disaster.

2. On the perverted notion that the GOP needs to swing left to attract potential Hillary Clinton supporters, Mulhern nails it.

This argument is a hardy perennial of conventional commentary, and it is utterly inane. You can't win by appealing to people who won't vote for you under any imaginable circumstances at the cost of alienating your core supporters. Trading a perfectly good cow for a handful of beans only makes sense in fairy tales.

[...]

With Rudy on the ballot millions of "values voters" would stay home. Millions more who are beguiled by socialism's promise of something for nothing but often vote for Republicans anyway because Democrats are just too weird, would vote for the Dem. With Giuliani as the candidate Republicans would limp into the fall of 2008, both feet riddled with self-inflicted bullet wounds.

This is pretty much what others and myself have outlined as the two disastrous electoral by-products of a Giuliani nomination.

1. The far-right conservative voters will stay home on election day to protest the party's nomination of someone who has abandoned conservative, small government principles in the interest of his own political ambition.

2. The middle-of-the-road voters, will either stay home, thinking there's no appreciable ideological difference between the two candidates, or go into the voting booth flipping a coin for the same reason, not really caring who gets elected.

I'll close with this excerpt from Mulhern's piece. Be sure to read the whole thing. It will be worth your while.

Fred Thompson isn't Ronald Reagan. But he can restore the Republican Party to Reagan's default settings. He can make the GOP once again the party of the American Revolution and distinguish it sharply from the party of the French, Russian, Chinese, and Cuban Revolutions.

Amen to that.

Double Entendre du Jour

Overheard on ESPN this afternoon:

...and LSU's looking like a #2 right now.

Gee, I thought they were playing pretty well today. They were up 27-9 in the fourth at the time. He must have been giving the points (41).

PSH Affliction of the Week

You'd be hard-pressed to top this one.

Accused St. John's gunman Omesh Hiraman only had to hand over cash to buy the muzzle-loading rifle he's accused of using to cause a terror scare on campus.

The 22-year-old went to Dick's Sporting Goods in Poughkeepsie on Friday afternoon, threw down $179.99 and walked out with a Wolf 209 Magnum, cops said.

[...]

"No self-respecting criminal or gang-banger would ever buy one of these," a law enforcement source said. "But crazies - they love 'em."

"No self-respecting law enforcement officer would ever utter such a mind-numbingly idiotic comment," one blogger up in New Hampshire said. "But ignorant douchebags - they love to."

The Landlord's Gonna Be Pissed

Extreme Home Makeover

10:57 PM

Melvin Mora of the Baltimore Orioles just drove in the winning run with a bunt single to third in the bottom of the tenth to beat the New York Yankees.

The Boston Red Sox are the 2007
American League Eastern Division Champions!

Nicely done, boys.

UPDATE: Big-ass RSN props going out tonight to Blow Mo Rivera for giving up three runs in the bottom of the ninth to tie the game up at 9-9.

Bitch.

How to Bankrupt a Nation In One Easy Step

Step 1: Vote for more big-government-knows-best, Communism-loving, tax-and-spend pricks like this guy.

WASHINGTON — Dealing with global warming will be painful, says one of the most powerful Democrats in Congress. To back up his claim [Rep. John Dingell] is proposing a recipe many people won't like — a 50-cent gasoline tax, a carbon tax and scaling back tax breaks for some home owners.

Gee, what's not to like? My tax burden would go up dramatically, and I will become less able to provide for my family, so that this Communist ballbag, and sorry-assed excuse for an American, can finance his (and Hillary's) entire laundry list of taxpayer-funded, vote-buying entitlement schemes.

Sign me up TODAY!

"This is going to cause pain," [Dingell] said...

Yes, but only to those Americans with real jobs. You know, the ones who actually work for a living, and are just looking to make a better life for themselves and their families with as little interference from Mother Government as possible.

Of course, the mere existence of such a dangerous and subversive mindset amongst the masses is the number one threat to Dingell's socialistic Utopian paradise, so it's only "fair" that they should feel a little pain.

Not in my name, you festering, senile piece of asscheese.

Now, my post title might be somewhat inaccurate and misleading. Technically speaking, "the nation" wouldn't be rendered penniless by this asshole's latest redistribution of wealth scheme - just the millions of hard-working people residing therein.

The government, it's "progressive" overlords, and their foreign-based financiers would all have more money than any country should have to spend in 100 years (though, they'd still manage to spend every last penny, and then some, by the end of each fiscal year).

But, hey, FREE EVERYTHING! Just show your forearm tattoo I.D. to the conductor on board the train and he'll see to it you get everything you need (as determined by the 3,620-member Need Determination Panel, one of the smaller subgroups working under the direct oversight of the Governmental Benevolence Committee).

Oh, and I see here that Citizen #478023303-64-B is planning on taking the kids to Six Flags in a couple weeks. I hope, for his sake, he remembered to fill out those forms in quadruplicate, and to submit with them a certified check for $480, to cover the application and processing fee for his request for variance, so that can operate a motor vehicle outside his government-approved "carbon radius".

He'd better get on it. These applications can take a while to process. He wouldn't want to disappoint "The Children"^TM.

Looking On the Bright Side

Phew! At least I'm not 40 anymore.

To Paraphrase Rage Against the Machine

This is for the People of the Gun!

(more background here and here)

Who the Hell is Dioner Navarro?

Glad you asked.

Don't Bring a .22 ...

...to a .45 fight.

And, to think, this went down in Kennedy Kountry.

A grocery store clerk in Framingham had a surprise Monday night for a would-be robber who flashed a .22-caliber Ruger and demand cash, police said.

The grocery store clerk pulled out a more powerful gun.

After looking at the .22, the clerk at A & J grocery on Kendall Street grabbed a .45-caliber semi-automatic gun and loaded a bullet into the chamber, police said. As the failed robber fled, the clerk pulled the trigger, shooting a bullet that missed the man but hit an ATM machine and a door inside the store, police said.

The suspect remains at large.

Rhetorical Question of the Day:

Toward which activity will more law enforcement and prosecutorial resources [read: taxpayer dollars] be allocated by the City of Framingham and the Commonwealth of Massachusetts?

(A) Tracking down the perpetrator of this attempted armed robbery and bringing this "misunderstood victim of societal injustice" to justice.

(B) Prosecuting the store clerk for daring to defend himself from an armed assailant, and depriving this "dangerous threat to society" of his right to carry a firearm (assuming he was licensed to do so, the story doesn't say one way or the other).

UPDATE: Via Dan in the comments...

Grocer thwarts robbery attempt

Tavarez said other people who find themselves in a robbery situation should just hand over the money.

Lieutenant Paul Shastany of the Framingham police agreed.

"We don't recommend that people try to outdraw or outduel a suspect with a gun," he said. "In most cases that ends tragically."

That must depend HEAVILY on one's definition of "tragic".

Because, "in most cases", based on the reporting of such incidents in the news, the scumbag on the wrong side of the law is the one who ends up losing.

No, I don't have any hard data to back this up. But if armed store clerks in this country were getting injured or killed, as a result of their having drawn their weapons on armed assailants, more frequently than they were successfully defending their lives and property, believe me, we'd be hearing about it.

Incessantly.

And then some.

"Tragically", my ass.

"I've wondered what I would do in a situation like that, and I guess I found out last night," Tavarez said, moments after chatting with a Framingham police detective inside the store.

"What I did had a lot to do with my daughters," he said. "I wouldn't want them to grow up without a father."

Sadly, there are too many politicians in Boston, Washington DC, and elsewhere who do not share those sentiments. To them, the right of some gangbanging thug to take your money and orphan your children takes precedent over your right to prevent said thug from doing so.

It's "for the children", of course.

You understand.

Now, get on the train, and everything will be fine.

What's Taking Them So Long?

From the Gun Control Capital of New England:

The mother of two Dorchester boys who found a fully-loaded .22-caliber gun and turned it into police wants to get her kids out of city schools because she fears for their safety.

[...]

The owner of the gun, which cops believe could have been a "community weapon" shared by gang members, has not been found.

What's taking them so long?

Obviously, the individual who put the gun there had to have been licensed to own a gun. With Massachusetts having the "most effective gun laws in the nation" (according to local firearms expert John Rosenthal), I don't see how it could possibly be any other way.

Seems all the cops have to do is match the serial number of the gun to the FA-10 form that was filed with the state following the transfer of the firearm to its current owner, and cross-reference that name to the list of License to Carry holders in the city. It can't be that long a list.

Should take them an afternoon to I.D. the guilty party.

Oh, wait. Those rules and regulations don't apply to criminals.

I keep forgetting.

My bad.

Gun laws in Boston serve but one purpose, and one purpose only - to ensure the government [read: the Mayor's Office and the police commissioner] has unlimited power to put whatever hurdles it deems necessary (whether financial, bureaucratic, or psychological) into the path of the city's most law-abiding and morally upright residents, who refuse to surrender their personal sovereignty to the "common good", and who wish to exercise their constitutionally-protected right to bear arms in the defense of themselves and their communities.

Case in point.

File under: Disgracing the badge.

Asshole.

(link #2 via Universal Hub)

One of Those Days

Back in a while.

Someone's Been Drinking Her Bongwater Again

Headline:

Clinton says she can appeal to GOP voters

If, by "appeal to", she means "bring them out in droves to vote against her", then she's definitely on to something here.

Let's play "Fill in the blank".

I'd sooner ____________ than vote for that wretched hag.

Post your answers in the comments. I'll go first.

John Stossel on the Costs of Health Care

Excerpt:

Imagine if your car insurance covered oil changes and gasoline. You wouldn't care how much gas you used, and you wouldn't care what it cost. Mechanics would sell you $100 oil changes. Prices would skyrocket.

RTWT.

(link via Kevin Baker)

This Is Somewhat Refreshing

When was the last time you heard a candidate for president answer a series of "Yes or No" question with (gasp!) "Yes or No" answers?

Question:

Some people argue that the Second Amendment means different things in different places, and it's OK for New York City or Chicago to impose more restrictions on gun owners' rights than it is in Tennessee or Montana. Do you agree with that view?

Fred Thompson:

Nope.

Question:

Will you support the position of the Bush administration that the Second Amendment protects an individual right to keep and bear arms, and appoint an attorney general who does as well?

Fred Thompson:

Yes.

Granted, thosed weren't exactly questions that required a whole lot of thinking on behalf of the respondent, but toss those softballs at any of the members of the Karl Marx Admiration Society currently vying for the Democrat nomination for president, and see what kind of straight-forward response you (don't) get.

Think "Kerryspeak".

Oh, and speaking of gun-hating, liberal scumbags, here's what Rudy Giuliani (who, needless to say, can kiss my pale, white ass) had to say on the topic.

"Your right to bear arms is based on a reasonable degree of safety[.]"

Your guess is as good as mine as to who would get to be the arbiter of reasonable his little authoritarian empire. Seriously, that sounds like something Ted Kennedy would say, not the Republican nominee for president.

Telltale Rudy "Close, But No Cigar" Giuliani Quote #2:

"A person's home is their castle. They have the right to protect themselves in their own home."

Translation:

What's that? You want to protect yourself outside your home? Yeah, right. What do you think you are, free?

My rights don't end where my driveway meets the road.

My home is my castle.

My country is my home.

Do the math, asshole.

Music To My Ears

Struck out looking.

Good night.

What Educational Crisis?

Alternate Post Title: Hope

My daughters came home from kindergarten today, even more excited than usual to tell me about everything they had learned in school. I was expecting to hear something exciting about insects, dinosaurs, or planets, or to see some cool new arts and crafts projects.

What I was not expecting to see in my kitchen just then was both my girls standing up straight, with their hands over their hearts, reciting the Pledge of Allegiance.

And, oh yeah, the other day they brought home special Constitution Day crowns they had made. What's the over/under on the number of schools in the Boston Public School System that celebrated Constitution Day this past week?

Color me proud.

Quote of the Day

Clueless Ass-Backwards Liberal Media Edition

From NPR:

Despite the rising cost of energy, the global economy keeps growing.

That ranks right up there with this timeless classic from the New York Times (November 2004).

The number of inmates in state and federal prisons rose 2.1 percent last year, even as violent crime and property crime fell, according to a study by the Justice Department released yesterday.

(NPR link via Wizbang)

Just Because You Got Into MIT...

...doesn't necessarily mean you're intelligent.

From the MIT website:

MIT is dedicated to providing its students with an education that combines rigorous academic study and the excitement of discovery with the support and intellectual stimulation of a diverse campus community.

And, what could be more exciting than discovering how the Massachusetts State Police at Logan Airport react to someone wearing what looks like an explosive device strapped to her chest.

BOSTON -- A woman who walked into Logan International Airport allegedly wearing a fake bomb strapped to her chest was arrested at gunpoint Friday, officials said.

Star Simpson, 19, had a computer circuit board, wiring and a putty that later turned out to be Play-Doh in plain view over a black hooded sweatshirt she was wearing, said State Police Maj. Scott Pare, the commanding officer at the airport.

After a Massachusetts Port Authority official notified State Police at about 8 a.m., troopers tracked Simpson down outside Terminal C, where they arrested her and later determined the device was a fake.

"She's extremely lucky she followed the instructions, or deadly force would have been used," Pare told The Associated Press. "And she's lucky to be in a cell as opposed to the morgue."

Simpson is a Massachusetts Institute of Technology sophomore from Hawaii, officials said.

Mmmmm...

...fresh Schlitz.

Speaking of Fascist Goons

Meet California State Senator Jack Scott.

Taking a Hammer...

...and nailing it hard (emphasis mine).

Make no mistake. Every single politician in Washington knows that the surest way to make affordable health care available to every single American is through the private sector. They know that eliminating the regulations that stifle competition, and getting rid of insurance mandates that drive up the cost of even the most basic policies would bring millions of the uninsured back into the ranks of the fully insured. They know that giving individuals the same tax treatment for buying their own health insurance policies that their employers get providing those policies for them would solve much our problem with the uninsured. The know all of these things .. .but they also know one more very important fact. With every private sector solution introduced into our health care system politicians and government lose power ... and that just cannot be permitted.

The goal of these politicians is not to bring you health care. Their goal is to make you more dependent on government ... and them.

On a related note (and because it's been about a year since I last posted this one):

"How a politician stands on the Second Amendment tells you how he or she views you as an individual... as a trustworthy and productive citizen, or as part of an unruly crowd that needs to be lorded over, controlled, supervised, and taken care of."

~Texas State Rep. Suzanna Gratia-Hupp

(link via Shamalama)

Power-Hungry, Fascist Thugs of the Day

The Shrewsbury Housing Authority (Shrewsbury, MA)

SHREWSBURY - The flags must come down. So, too, must the deck chairs, wind chimes, and dozens of other staples of summertime evenings on the porch.

The Shrewsbury Housing Authority banned them all last week from residents' porches and patios, citing concerns about safety, in an announcement that has angered many public housing residents at the Francis Gardens complex.

"It's not fair," said Pat Henry, 64, who protested with 20 other residents at the complex yesterday. She wore a shirt with the slogan "Leave Me Alone" in huge letters across the front. "These things are all we've got, and we want to enjoy them before we go up yonder."

The new rule bans chairs, tables, flowerpots, wind chimes, flags, mobiles, birdhouses, and similar items from porches and patios. Entryways must be clear of floor mats, throw rugs, welcome mats, wall hangings, coat racks, shelves, furniture, umbrella stands, plants, and folding grocery carts.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I long for the day when I can turn on the TV and not be bombarded by news stories about senior citizens being killed in tragic welcome mat accidents, or getting strung up from renegade wind chimes. And, don't get me started on Massachusetts' lax birdhouse control laws.

Thank heavens someone is finally standing up and doing something to address the proliferation of these deadly implements in the homes of our nation's seniors.

Tenants who refused to comply with the new rule within five days of a written warning would have their belongings removed by the authority, which would dispose of them if no one retrieved the items after seven days.

[...]

[Judy DelSignore, president of the tenants' association], said that every time tenants attended a public meeting to protest the rules, housing authority officials would add more restrictions.

Gotta keep those uppity old folks in line. I mean, really, who do they think they are? Americans?

Here's the kicker.

[Dennis Osborn, director of the Shrewsbury Housing Authority] said the town's fire chief agreed that the ban is in the best interest of residents.

"Plastic furniture is combustible," he said, adding that it can emit hazardous fumes in a fire.

[...]

He also said residents are allowed to bring furniture and chairs outside, as long as they bring them back inside at the end of each day.

Because if a fire breaks out, it's clearly "in the best interest of residents" that the toxic fumes be confined to the area in which the old people will most likely be trapped.

Bullet, Back of the Head...

...some assembly required.

Atchison arrived at the airport Sunday with a Dora the Explorer doll, hoop earrings and petroleum jelly.

It's a rare occasion when a single sentence can make me feel physically ill. This is one of those occasions.

Book Title/Run-On Sentence of the Year

I'm definitely adding this one to my reading list.

Nanny State: How Food Fascists, Teetotaling Do-Gooders,
Priggish Moralists, and other Boneheaded Bureaucrats are
Turning America into a Nation of Children

All You Need To Know

No Looking Backwards - 9/17/07:

Liberty, freedom, and common sense? Who needs those outdated concepts fogging up their lives?

Boston Globe - 9/18/07:

"We can talk all we want about freedom and opportunity, about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, but what does all that mean to a mother or father who can't take a sick child to the doctor?"

~ Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton

Bonus quote: How's this for short term memory?

" 'Hillarycare' continues to be bad medicine," said Mitt Romney.

Perhaps the former governor of Massachusetts would find it more palatable if we were to rename it "Romneycare". Because it's pretty much the same bill he signed into law last year and foisted upon the taxpayers of Massachusetts - though on a much larger and more expensive scale - before his term ran out and he started his run for the Oval Office.

UPDATE: From Cox & Forkum.



UPDATE II: It gets worse (as is so often the case when we're discussing the wants and whims of Nanny-statist socialists).

WASHINGTON - Democrat Hillary Rodham Clinton said Tuesday that a mandate requiring every American to purchase health insurance was the only way to achieve universal health care but she rejected the notion of punitive measures to force individuals into the health care system.

"At this point, we don't have anything punitive that we have proposed," the presidential candidate said in an interview with The Associated Press.

Heavy emphasis on "At this point...".

"We're providing incentives and tax credits which we think will be very attractive to the vast majority of Americans."

Who's up for a quick round of "Spot the liberal-speak euphemism for Marxist redistribution of wealth"?

Hint: There's no way in hell anyone's tax burden will be decreased under a Clinton II presidency without a commensurate (best-case scenario) increase in someone else's.

She said she could envision a day when "you have to show proof to your employer that you're insured as a part of the job interview — like when your kid goes to school and has to show proof of vaccination," but said such details would be worked out through negotiations with Congress.

Minor details, I'm sure, such as whether this documentation would be in the form of a tattoo on one's forearm or a colorful patch which you would be required to wear on your outer garment.

(link via Say Anything)

Wow!

And Jay thinks his commutes suck.

Video here (the embed code was screwing up my layout).

New Dem Slogan for 2008 Elections

"Ask not what your country can do for you, demand it."

How To Destroy a Young Life In One Easy Step

I bet this kid's car had a lug wrench in it too, maybe even one of those high-capacity, four-pronged, assault lug wrenches.

Will Chandler said he knows he should not have left campus when he and two friends left Wheeler High School for lunch a week ago.

"I was like, 'Alright, I’m going to get in trouble.' I didn’t even know the knife was in there. I completely forgot about it and then they pulled it out," said Chandler.

A school officer found a Swiss Army knife in Chandler’s car’s console. Under the school’s zero tolerance policy it was an automatic suspension for Chandler.

The next day, the Chandlers found out Will had also been charged with a felony.

It's official.

The old, worn-out mantra of "If it saves just one life, it will be worth it.", once so popular with the zero-tolerance [read: zero cerebral cortex] movement, has now been replaced with "If it ruins just a couple hundred lives here and there, it will be worth it."

Oh, and if you're curious:

Address

Joseph Wheeler High School
375 Holt Road
Marietta, GA 30068

Phone

770.578.3266
770.578.3268 Fax

Principal

Ed Thayer
Ed.Thayer@cobbk12.org

I have the suspicious feeling that Mr. Thayer will be "in a meeting" for the rest of the semester.

The United States of America Massachusetts

God help the United States of America if this rancid hag is ever elected president.

DES MOINES, Iowa - For months, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton has promised a plan to bring health care to every American

She was to make good on that pledge Monday, unveiling a sweeping proposal requiring everyone to carry health insurance and offering federal subsidies [read: spending other people's money] to help reduce the cost of coverage.

Translated: You, Mr. and Mrs. American, will be forced to purchase a product, whether you want it or not, and your taxes are going to go up so that illegal aliens, drug dealers, and multi-generational, career welfare flunkies can get the same health care coverage as those of us who are working hard to make a better life for ourselves and our families, while refusing to rely on the government for our every want and need.

With a price tag of about $110 billion per year, Clinton's "American Health Choices Plan" represents her first major effort to achieve universal health coverage since 1994, when the plan she authored during her husband's first term collapsed.

$110 billion? Why do I find myself flush with skepticism upon reading that? It sounds a lot like the $3.5 billion Big Dig project the people of Massachusetts were sold back in the late 80's.

As if what the country needs now is to be turned into one giant Massachusetts. Speaking of which, how's that "individual mandate" model working out for the Bay State these days?

Massachusetts health insurers are predicting their rates will increase by about 10 percent next year for most residents covered through employer health plans, marking the eighth consecutive year of double-digit premium hikes.

[...]

While the increase in premiums is slowing in other parts of the country, many Massachusetts residents will face larger percentage increases in 2008 than they did this year.

Anyone who thinks that number of $110 billion per year is even close to what the actual cost of this plan would be is a fool. Even if you apply the Bob & Doug McKenzie metric conversion formula (Double it and add 30, eh?), you'll still be lowballing it.

And, how's this for spin?

"It puts the consumer in the driver's seat by offering more choices and lowering costs," Neera Tanden, Clinton's top policy adviser, told The Associated Press.

Yeah, nothing like putting the proverbial gun to back of someone's head and ordering them to do what you want, or else, to make that person feel like they're in control of the situation.

What a complete load of dogshit.

And, we're not talking about one of those dried-up dogshits that's been out in the sun for a week and is real easy to pick up, either. This is one of those real runny ones in the long grass on a hot and humid summer day, right next to the patio where your trying to enjoy a cold beverage.

This plan is nothing more than a massive taxpayer-funded vote-buying scheme, that will do little to bring quality health care to those who need it most, and will economically cripple our nation to the point where we are no longer able to compete in the global marketplace.

And she's OK with that, just as long as it gets her and her husband back into the Oval Office, so they can finish what they started.

In fact, it's one of the central tenets of modern-day leftism in America: We're simply too rich, too powerful, and too free a country, and it's just not "fair". We need to knock ourselves down a few notches, so that we're equal in stature - economically, militarily, and ideologically - to the rest of the world.

Then, and only then, can we all get along, hold hands, sing Peter, Paul & Mary tunes with flowers jammed up our ass, and have peace on earth.

UPDATE: Case in point (via Kim du Toit):

Can our contemporary world be saved from the problems that ail us, from climate change and oil dependency, from AIDS and religious extremism, from poverty and inequality? Foreign Policy, the world’s most prestigious global affairs journal, is tackling this weighty question head on, in a new issue that asks 21 of our earth’s most thoughtful observers to suggest the “one solution that would make the world a better place.”

That "one solution," suggests Howard Gardner, the Harvard-based psychologist whose widely acclaimed books on human intelligence have been translated into 26 languages, ought to be a cap on the income and wealth that any one individual can accumulate.

Of course! Why didn't I think of that?

Liberty, freedom, and common sense? Who needs those outdated concepts fogging up their lives? We should all climb aboard this guy's ideological banana wagon and follow the shining examples set by all those successful, free, and prosperous Communist regimes from around the world.

You know, like...ummmm...

UPDATE II: This just 'bout sums it up.



(via Pilgrim at Say Anything)

Delusions of Grandeur

So, Hillary's now claiming to be the new "Iron Lady"?

The frontrunner for the Republican presidential nomination, Rudolph Giuliani, has attacked Hillary Clinton’s attempts to represent herself as a new “Iron Lady” by accusing her of surrendering to the hard left over the Iraq war.

Yeah, almost.

I Don't Care What the Calendar Says

We just picked up some fresh (non-pasteurized) apple cider from the orchard across town. It's autumn now, as far as I'm concerned.

Setting the Stage

WARNING: Turn your bullshit filters up to 11
before reading this one. You'll thank me later.

Assault-Weapon Attacks on Rise in Miami

MIAMI (AP) - The spray of bullets that killed a police officer and hurt three others this week came from something increasingly common on this city's streets: a high-powered assault weapon, fast becoming the gun of choice for gang members and violent criminals.

"Becoming" the gun of choice for gang members and violent criminals? But, the anti-gun zealots in this country have been telling us that these guns have been the so-called "weapon of choice" for these ne'er-do-wells since the day after the Magna Carta was ratified.

And when the guns, once found solely in the hands of soldiers, are aimed at officers on patrol, there's little authorities can do to escape.

OK, anyone who smells the latest attempt to obfuscate the issue, and further blur the line between select-fire, military assault rifles and semi-automatic civilian versions of the same, wafting through the air, raise your hand.

"It's almost like we have water pistols going up against these high-powered rifles," said John Rivera, president of the Dade County Police Benevolent Association. "Our weaponry and our bulletproof vests don't match up to any of those types of weapons."

Bullshit. I'll bet anyone 100 bucks the cops in Dade County have automatic weapons available for their officers to use. If not, what's stopping them? It's not any of our country's gun laws apply to their "more equal than others" subset of society.

And, as for the "bulletproof" vest comment, Mr. Rivera, those vests your fellow officers wear every day on the job won't match up to any commonly-available centerfire hunting rifle.. What's your point (as if I have to ask)?

Federal officials don't compile statistics on the number of crimes involving assault weapons like the AK-47, and municipalities' numbers across the country are patchwork.

Translated: All the fear-mongering and emotion-based drivel coming out of the Brady Bunch, and their allies in the mainstream media and the US Congress, being put forth as "rationale" for banning guns that look scary, has been nothing more than, well, fear mongering and emotion-based drivel.

Shocking.

[snip]

Police do not yet know where the 25-year-old suspect in Thursday's shooting of the Miami-Dade officers got his weapon.

Not that it matters to the Schumer/Clinton/Kennedy cabal, who will use this story as ammunition in their never-ending quest to prevent us non-criminals from buying these scary-looking guns legally for use in non-criminal, recreational activities.

You see, for these "progressive" folks, comparing the actions of law-abiding gun owners to those of hardened career criminals and illegal alien gang members, and trying to spot the moralistic differences is what they call a "toughie".

Purchasing a $600 handgun in a legal fashion vs. trading a rock of crack and a handjob for the same gun? Yeah, whatever. Six of one, half-dozen of another. There's simply no appreciable difference between those two types of gun buyers, as far as these fascist jerkwads are concerned.

Well, that's not entirely true. They'll actually go out of their way to protect the Constitutional rights of the latter, while doing everything they can do strip the former of their God-given right to protect their families from harm.

Shawn Sherwin Labeet was found hours later and 30 miles from the crime scene. Police said they shot and killed him after he refused to drop his firearm.

What are the odds that scumbag should have been behind bars, where he'd have been unable to kill any police officers, but was kept out of jail by a "compassionate" judge at some point in the last few years? I'm thinking better than average.

On Friday, officers arrested four people accused of aiding Labeet. Alba Bello, 47; her son, Alain Gonzalez, 24; and Bello's boyfriend, Lazaro Guardiola, 35, were charged with accessory after the fact on suspicion of harboring the killer. Labeet's girlfriend, Renee Dangelo, 26, was charged with giving police false information.

OK, in addition to the near certainty that every single one of them has criminal record, here's another 100 bucks that says not all of the above-referenced persons are in this country legally.

Quick! Ban barrel shrouds!

The rising number of deaths by assault weapons reflects growing availability of the weapons and their elevation to a status symbol among gang members, said Carlos Baixauli, an agent with the federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives.

Ban gang members.

There, problem solved. You can just mail me my check.

"In the early '80s to '90s, it was more common to have a handgun in your waistband and the bigger the caliber, the more powerful you were," Baixauli said. "Now it's escalated to the assault weapons."

Another issue potentially at play is the 2004 expiration of the federal assault weapons ban, 10 years after its passage. The legislation outlawed 19 types of guns, including the semiautomatic AK-47.

Gee, didn't see that coming.

And, surprise, surprise, the writer, one Matt Sedensky, got his facts wrong, when trying to explain what the now-defunct "assault weapons" ban did or didn't do. Unless, of course, these gang members are out there bayoneting their neighborhood rivals.

The 1994 AWB, as most of us are too keenly aware, only banned certain arrangements of cosmetic features on semi-automatic rifles that look like military assault rifles. It did nothing to address the "lethality" of any type of gun, based on cartridge size or muzzle velocity, as some would have you believe.

It's not like gang members everywhere were walking around in the late 90's trying to buy guns from the back of some guy's van, only to walk away dejected and unarmed, because they couldn't get a semi-auto AK knock-off with the bayonet lug not ground off.

And, this brings us to the obligatory money quote.

(Prepare the Bullshit Flag, me hearties.)

Here comes the creme de la creme of superfluous rectal vapor masquerading as professional expertise. Once again, here's agent Carlos Baixauli, of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives

The guns are readily available on streets, Baixauli said, or can be ordered by mail for under $200.

Under 200 bucks, huh?

OK, asshole, show me.

I want to see the catalog or website you're looking at that has semi-automatic rifles, such as the ones mentioned in this article, available to purchase for less than $200. Sounds to me like someone's been jerking off to the girls in his Airsoft catalog again.

Of course, conveniently eluding this stooge is the the fact that any such mail-order firearms purchase has to comply with all the same state and federal gun laws as a gun purchase made at one's local gun shop (which, by the way, is not where the criminals are buying theirs).

Shootings involving assault weapons were among the reasons U.S. Attorney R. Alexander Acosta set up an anti-gang task force of federal, state and local law enforcement officials this year.

Really? No mention of that in the press release from last April.

The Task Force …will focus on utilizing federal resources to help prosecute gang-related violent crime cases in South Florida.

The Task Force will focus on both reactive and proactive gang-related violent crime cases.

… the Task Force will use a wide array of federal laws to prosecute the most violent offenders for federal firearms and narcotics violations as other violent crimes, including bank robbery, car jacking, and Hobbs Act violations.

… the Task Force will focus on federal prosecutions of individuals related to ongoing state or federal investigations or priority targets.

… will continue to aggressively prosecute gangs, criminal organizations, and individuals who have committed violent criminal acts in South Florida.

… the U.S. Attorney's Office will be better equipped to respond quickly and efficiently to violent gang-related criminal activity…

… the Task Force will work with the FBI, ATF, DEA, ICE, and with local sheriffs and police departments to target violent drug organizations and other criminal groups that use firearms to further their goals.

...the U.S. Attorneys Office will aggressively prosecute gang-related violent crimes...

And, from the closing paragraph…

The U.S. Attorney also noted the dedicated efforts of … the Broward County Sheriff's Office …

Dedicated, indeed.

Plenty of references in there to "gang-related violence", but criminal misuse of any type of firearm is only mentioned twice. No mention, whatsoever, about rifles with collapsible stocks, bayonet lugs, or barrel shrouds, etc.

Go figure.

Anyway, back to the bloviation at hand...

"These bullets are very powerful: they go through walls, they go through cars, and if you just spray the general vicinity you're going to get innocent bystanders," Acosta said. "A shooting that might have been an injury previously is now a death."

Sounds like he was reading from the talking points memo that the mayor and police chief of New Bedford, Massachusetts were reading from when they were calling for a statewide ban on possession of AR-15 rifles last year.

NEW BEDFORD — Mayor Scott W. Lang is asking the city's legislative delegation to push for a statewide ban on the sale of military-style weapons — including the AR-15 semiautomatic rifle used by a gunman last week to kill two employees and himself at the Foxy Lady SouthCoast.

"I'd like our local delegation to sponsor a bill that takes that type of weapon out of civilian hands ... any type of military weapon," he said. "This is not an appropriate weapon for a civilian to have.

"It's a killing tool. ... It's a weapon that's used to destroy an opposition army. We don't need a battlefield in the middle of our city."

Apparently, he's never spent much time walking the streets of crime-free New Bedford.

The AR-15 "has firepower that police do not have available to them, except in extraordinary circumstances," Mayor Lang said.

[...]

According to Chief Teachman, the bullets cut through the cruiser door panels "like a hot knife through butter."

OK, kids, put down your books. It's Pop Quiz Time. I meant to put this up last year, following the Foxy lady incident, in response to the dim-witted mayor's assertion that Massachusetts gun control laws weren't sufficiently strict. But, laziness got the better of me.

Here are two bowling pins, or what's left of 'em, which have been shot by two very different firearms.



And, here are the two types of firearms in question.

Marlin 1895 lever-action rifle (.45-70 Govt.)
One of the only kinds of gun you'll be allowed to own if the
majority Socialist Branch of Congress has its way with us.

AR-15 rifle(.223 Rem)
As if you'd even be allowed to look at this picture on your
computer in Ted Kennedy's Utopian "workers' paradise"
with all its "commie-sense" gun laws.

Now, all you have to do is match the gun to the "victim". Remember, scary-looking assault weapons fire bullets that "are very powerful: they go through walls, they go through cars...", according to U.S. Attorney R. Alexander Acosta.

OK, I'll give you one hint. Mr. Acosta is feeding you a line of disingenuous, misleading horseshit.

Back to the original story:

Kevin Morison of the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund said his organization is considering tracking when assault weapons are involved in police shootings. Officer shootings had been on a downturn until this year.

Well, at least he won't be wasting taxpayer dollars on all the paper he'll need to tally those up. I'd say the backside of his business card should suffice.

And, now from the American Council of Misleading Statistics:

More U.S. police officers were killed while on duty in the first six months of 2007 - 101 - than during any such period since 1978, according to the organization.

Ban cars.

In 2006, there were 151 federal, state and local law enforcement officers killed in the line of duty. Traffic-related incidents were the leading cause of death (73), followed by shootings (54). California had the most fatalities with 17, followed by Virginia with 10, New York and Texas which both lost nine, and Florida and Illinois with eight each.

(sigh)

Just more of the same lies, misrepresentations, and distortion of reality that we've come to know so well from these folks. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go shopping for a couple of those $200 AK-47's this buttclown was talking about.

(bowling pin pics courtesy of Kim du Toit)

More Cowbell

Boston Globe:

Musicians play them. Ski fans bang them. Farmers tie them to heifers.

Now, state officials may use cowbells to help solve a curiously persistent transportation problem: trucks that crash into the low Storrow Drive and Memorial Drive bridges despite the abundant signs warning them away.

Might I suggest we get back to teaching high school seniors how to read before they hop in their U-Hauls, thinking they're all studly n' shit like B.J. McCay, and head into Boston for their first day of freshman year.

Fatal Ass-Whupping of the Day

Misha has the story. Here's the money quote...

"I got the hammer and started hitting him with the hammer several times. My father the carpenter always taught me a hammer could be used for self defense, the claw end would work the best[.]"

Teach your children well.

Take That, You Dirty Copper

This is one of the coolest, most ass-kicking new products I've seen in a long time.

The SharkBite® Push Fittings™ represent a brand new addition to Cash Acme's expanding product line. Each fitting increases ease of use while decreasing the time and effort needed to connect water distribution pipe. The pipe is inserted into the fitting and held in place by several metal "teeth" and a durable O-ring. The joint can be disassembled only with a SharkBite® demount clip.

I used them to cap a couple copper water lines today that I had to cut to make room for a dishwasher and a new sink cabinet.

1. Shut off water.
2. Cut pipes.
3. Push fittings on.

Took about two minutes. No soldering (always a plus if working in tight spaces or near hazardous materials), no wondering if you've cranked the compression fitting on tight enough, and as their brochure says, "No unions".

And this wasn't exactly shiny-smooth pipe, right off the rack, either. These lines were put in sometime in the Carter administration, and had been painted several times over the decades. I scraped the paint off, hit it with the emery cloth to shine it up a bit, and that was it.



As watertight as a frog's asshole.

Fittings can rotate in place and can be removed and reused. When I'm ready to run the water lines up to the new sink, all I have to do is pop off the cap, and attach the already-assembled run of new pipe.

They cost a lot more than traditional copper fittings, but for the amount of time you save (not to mention what a plumber would charge you for doing it the old-fashioned way just showing up), these things kick ass.

And, oh yeah, they work with Pex tubing too - a lot cheaper and much easier to work with than copper.

Sorry

I don't have much to add to all the commemorative 9/11 posts out there.

Like Jay, I'm still angry.

There is still a sizable population of mentally-challenged Islamo-thugs out there, plotting new and exciting way to bring the infidels of the world to their knees (so as to behead them more efficiently).

But unfortunately, there is also a sizable population of mentally-challenges Congressional nitwits (the very people we elected to uphold and defend our Constitution and the American way of life) who are seemingly too busy these days plotting new and exciting ways to...

(a) channel taxpayer dollars to fictitious organizations headed by wealthy campaign contributors
(b) dictate what kind of cars we can choose to buy
(c) sell our Bill of Rights to the highest third-world bidder
(d) dissolve our nation's borders and sovereignty in the interest of personal financial and political gain

...to do anything about it.

Angry.

Real angry.

Been Off the Grid

Was out of town the last couple of days, working on a client's kitchen remodel: conducting Sawzall experiments on defenseless kitchen cabinets, punching holes in walls, pulling Romex, etc.

When I ripped up the floor of one of the base cabinets, I discovered an electric toe space heater I didn't know was there. Next to the heater unit, were the installation instructions.



Here's the opening paragraph.



Ah, the good old days.

On Petraeus and the DemCong

I'd rather be a mouthpiece for the president than a codpiece for MoveOn.org.

How To Make It Rain

...at EXACTLY 4:00 in the afternoon.

Get your kids' easel, put up a sign on both side saying "Lemonade Stand - 4:00 Today", and place it at the end of the driveway at noon.

You can pretty much guess what happened next.

If There's One Thing I Can Really Appreciate

It's a quality 70's cartoon reference.

BTW, I think it's funny how the liberals are acting like all we right wing bloggers conspired together to use the talking point that Osama sounds like a left-wing blogger. Did they ever consider that the reasons we all said he sounds exactly like a left-wing blogger is because he sounds exactly like a left-wing blogger? If in his video he had said, "Hey! Hey! Hey!" in a deep voice, we'd all be saying he sounded like Fat Albert. Instead, he said, "Democrats need to get America our of Iraq now and you need to read Chomsky and worry about global warming," so we're all saying he sounds like a liberal blogger. Occam's razor.

Obama/Bin Laden: It's more than just a not-so-clever play on words, it's every anti-Bush leftist's dream ticket for November '08.

Other Way Around, Pal

WMUR: Fred Thompson Visits NH

Critics also say Thompson needs to convince voters, he's more than just an actor.

Personally, I'd rather see him trying to convince voters he's more than just a senator.

Can We Question Their Patriotism NOW?

From the NRA-ILA:

With the United Nations continuing its efforts to enact draconian, transnational gun control laws in countries around the world, yesterday the U.S. Senate passed the Foreign Operations appropriations bill, which included an amendment by Senator David Vitter (R-LA) that seeks to address the U.N.’s ongoing international gun ban efforts.

More specifically:

AMENDMENT PURPOSE:

To prohibit the use of funds by international organizations, agencies, and entities that require the registration of, or taxes [sic] guns owned by citizens of the United States.

Sounds reasonable enough, right?

Not to these treasonous, anti-American pustules on the ballbag of humanity, it doesn't. With the predictability of the phases of the moon, they voted, once again, to scrape off their ass crust with the Bill of Rights (at least, the politically incorrect parts that frighten them, anyway) and happily surrender Americans' individual liberties to the United Nations - or whichever corrupt bunch of third-world, socialist thugs with an open checkbook asks next.

NAYs --- 10

Durbin (D-IL)
Feinstein (D-CA)
Harkin (D-IA)
Kennedy (D-MA)
Lautenberg (D-NJ)
Levin (D-MI)
Menendez (D-NJ)
Reed (D-RI)
Schumer (D-NY)
Whitehouse (D-RI)

That list should look familiar to anyone who's been paying attention, with a few not-so-curious omissions. Let's play "What do these people have in common?".

Not Voting - 9

Biden (D-DE)
Boxer (D-CA)
Brown (D-OH)
Clinton (D-NY)
Craig (R-ID)
Dodd (D-CT)
Lincoln (D-AR)
McCain (R-AZ)
Obama (D-IL)

Now, the likely excuse we can expect from these would-be presidents will be that they were out on the campaign trial and couldn't make it back to the Capitol in time for the vote, which is of course, complete bullshit.

It's actually somewhat of a win-win for Her Royal Filthiness and her sidekick Rockstarboy. They know that a non-vote is as good as voting "nay", without having to go on record as opposing this vile piece of legislation, as they look for ways to convince the American public that they're on our side.

Of course, if this was a vote to pass some flagrantly unconstitutional piece of anti-gun rights legislation (where a non-vote would translate to a de facto "yea" vote), each and every one of those pieces of trash would have been aboard the first flight back into DC to stand up for their "principles", as was the case back in the fall of 2004, when the vote to reauthorize the assault weapons ban took place.

With, the possible exception of Larry Craig, of course, who has other, um, issues occupying his time these days.

UPDATE: Vitter speaks (via the Congressional Record)

Mr. President, this amendment is very simple and straightforward. In fact, perhaps I should not have waived reading of it. It is a few sentences. So I will do it myself:

None of the funds made available under this Act may be made available to any international organization, agency, or entity (including the United Nations) that requires the registration of, or taxes a gun owned by a citizen of the United States.

That is the entire amendment, the entire sum and substance of the amendment. As such, it is a straight funding limitation amendment, which has been ruled by the Parliamentarian as completely germane. This is a version of a full-blown, freestanding bill that I have filed in the past, specifically last Congress. It was S. 1488. I filed that bill and had 17 cosponsors.

Many folks who haven't followed the proceedings on this in the U.N. may ask: What is this all about? Why is this necessary? Unfortunately, it is about an effort in the United Nations to bring gun control to various countries through that international organization. Unfortunately, that has been an ongoing effort which poses a real threat. This goes back to 1995, when this issue of international gun control was first put before the U.N. General Assembly. Then, in 2001, the General Assembly adopted a program of action designed to infringe on second amendment rights. In fact, from July 11 to 15 they met at the U.N. in New York City to finalize some agreements on that.

It is of significance that Dr. Rebecca Peters is the new head of that effort in the U.N. and, in particular, the entity within the U.N. that leads that International Action Network on Small Arms. That may not be a household name but perhaps it should be, particularly to second amendment advocates, because Dr. Peters is the person who led Australia's massive effort at far-reaching gun control. She has been very vocal on the subject, debating, for instance, Wayne LaPierre of the NRA on numerous occasions. Other pro-gun control advocates would help facilitate procedures within the U.N. program of action that could very well impact and infringe U.S. citizens' second amendment rights.

Therefore, again, that gets back to the Vitter amendment, which simply says we are not going to support any international organization that does that; that requires a registration of U.S. citizens' guns or taxes U.S. citizens' guns. If other folks in this Chamber think that is not happening, that it is never going to happen, my reply is simple and straightforward: Great, then this language has no effect. It is no harm to pass it as a failsafe. It has no impact. But, in fact, related efforts have been going on in the U.N. since at least 1995. I hope this can get very wide, bipartisan support, and I urge all my colleagues to support this very fundamental, straightforward amendment.

I yield back my time.

(emphasis mine)

Gun Control...

...because the right of some knife-wielding thug to break into a 70-year-old man's home and stab him to death in the middle of the night is more sacrosanct than the right of an elderly man to prevent him from doing so.

GREENVILLE, SC (AP) - Authorities say a 70-year-old man shot and killed an intruder in his home Tuesday night.

Greenville County Master Deputy Michael Hildebrand says William Willis suffered several cuts to his arms as he scuffled with the intruder.

Willis' wife woke him up when she heard a noise in the home and Willis got a gun before going to investigate.

Deputies say Willis found a man in his living room and they began to fight.

Investigators say the intruder was shot several times in the chest, while Willis was cut with a knife several times on the arm.

The man died at the scene, while Willis was taken to the hospital and is expected to recover.

Of course, Mr. Willis is exactly the kind of dangerous gunowner Hillary Clinton believes the federal government should have the authority to disarm, by force, in situations, not too unlike this one, in which a citizen would have the most urgent need for a defensive weapon.

It takes a real special, immeasurably vindictive brand of scumbag to look at the video of Patricia Konie getting body slammed by cops, while they forcibly take away her right to defend herself in her own home, and see that as common-sense public safety policy.

You say "Patricia Konie", she says "collateral damage".

Quite the champion of women's rights, indeed.

Now, if you who skipped over that last link, go back and watch the video. If you watched it, watch it again. Now, keep watching until it sinks in.

John Edwards said it best. There are "two Americas". There's our America, founded on the principle of individual liberty and that of a government that derives its power via the consent of the governed.

And, there's Hillary Clinton's America, a sneak preview of which you just watched, where the scope of the government's power is limited only by the imagination of those holding the chains of power.

New Bin Laden Video On the Way?

Whatever.

This is like being told there's new Krokus on the way, when the label's getting ready to crank out another "Best of" CD. It's more than likely nothing to get all excited about.

But, He Promised He'd Behave THIS Time

Chalk up another victory for the Massachusetts Parole Board.

Massachusetts State Police are urging people in the Mattapoisett area to remain indoors as they search for a convicted killer who is on the loose and considered armed and dangerous.

Unlike the good people of Mattapoisett, who are considered by law-breaking scumbags like this to be unarmed and defenseless. But, hey, at least they can all take solace in the "fact" that Massachusetts has the "most effective gun laws in the nation". There's simply no way this guy will ever be able to get his hands on a firearm.

Authorities say he was convicted of second-degree murder, and then released on parole. He allegedly violated parole in a domestic incident recently in New Bedford.

I'll wager he has just as much respect for the gun control laws in Massachusetts as he does for all the "don't murder people" laws they have down there. They do have those, right?

Seriously, what is it with people who honestly believe that the world would be a better place with convicted murderers like this scumbag out walking the streets, instead of rotting away in a remote prison cell somewhere?

I suspect it might have something to do with all this "social justice" crap that I'm hearing these "progressive" politicians yammering on about.

But, I'm still not getting it.

Thankfully

Help Me Get Some Haggis...Please

Alternate Post Title: All Kilted Up With Nowhere To Go

So, I told myself last year, as our move to New Hampshire was becoming a done deal, that I would definitely be attending this year's New Hampshire Highland Games up at Loon Mountain.

The New Hampshire Highland Games, the largest Scottish cultural festival in the Northeast, is presented by The New Hampshire Gathering of the Scottish Clans, Inc., a not-for-profit organization dedicated to the furtherance of the music, dance, athletics and customs of the Scottish people and to the continuance of the Gaelic culture.

The festivities kick off two weeks from tomorrow, but unfortunately, our current financial situation might have me waiting for next year's festivities. It's $45 for the weekend pass, plus food, drink, and a place to crash for the night (or nights) that won't require me to attempt to drive after much gratuitous scotch "tasting".

"Good God, but that's a worthy cause! How can we help?"

Glad you asked.

1. For the next two weeks, I'll be running yet another "Ten for Ten" sale on my popular line of "Reality in Black & White" bumper stickers. Send $10 via Paypal to my bloge-mail address in the right-hand sidebar, indicating how many of each sticker you'd like (as long as it adds up to ten), along with the code word "HAGGIS", and I'll send them off to you as soon as I can.

2. The old mAss Backwards Cafepress store is still open, of course.

3. And last, but not least, my newest offering:


Available here.

If I can come up with $200 before the 21st, I might be able to swing it (I do get awfully thirsty at this kind of event). 300 bucks, and it's a done deal.

Pass the word, and thanks much.

UPDATE: Hat tip to commenter emdfl for the inspiration.

The Next President of the United States

Well, to no one's surprise, Fred Thompson is running for president - new video up at Fred08.com. The money quote:

A government that's big enough to do everything for us is powerful enough to do anything to us.

The way I see it, here's the biggest difference between Fred Thompson and pretty much every other candidate considered a front-runner today (on either side). Because his campaign is based on a set of core principles and beliefs, and not a well-lubricated political weather vane, you won't see Fred out on the campaign trail one day pandering to a particular group of voters, only to whip around in a neck-snapping 180-degree turn to attract a different group of voters the next day.

Trying to be everything to everybody is a sure-fire recipe for disaster.

Examples:

Clinton: Against the war in Iraq (which she voted to authorize) when addressing the far-left, infantile Moveon.org crowd, and now, thinking she's got the nomination in the bag, coming up with all kinds of newly-discovered, pro-military, strong on defense positions.

Obama: Never mind. My dog took a dump yesterday with bits of orange crayon in it that has as much a chance of getting elected president as that boob.

Edwards: Yeah, right. He makes the aforementioned boob look like the second incarnation of Ronald Reagan.

Romney/Giuliani: Both actively supported draconian gun control measures in their liberal-dominated home turf, and are now claiming to be defenders of Americans' right to bear arms. At least Hillary's displayed a little consistency (so far) on this topic, however tyrannical and antithetical to the concept of individual liberty that consistency may be.

McCain: In the wake of the public backlash against his Ted Kennedy reach-around of an immigration bill, he's now claiming to be a strong advocate for strengthening our nation's borders. He's "too little too late" personified.

Now, to the idiots who say that such a strategy is necessary, and that the GOP needs to tack left to attract the middle-of-the-road voters, I say "Bullshit!".

That will achieve but two disastrous goals.

1. The far-right conservative voters will stay home on election day to protest the party's nomination of someone who has abandoned conservative, small government principles in the interest of his own political ambition.

2. The middle-of-the-road voters, will either stay home, thinking there's no appreciable ideological difference between the two candidates, or go into the voting booth flipping a coin for the same reason, not really caring who gets elected.

By sticking to his principles, Fred Thompson will achieve two desirable goals. First, and most important, he'll become the GOP nomination for President. Second, he'll actually be giving the American people a clear-cut choice for President (assuming the Dems are stupid enough to nominate an overt Marxist such as Hillary Clinton) at the polls come November.

So, what do these candidates stand for? Assuming Karl Marx In a Pantsuit gets the nod for the Ding-Dong Party, what choices would the American voters be asked to make?

Let's review.

FDT: Limited government, more power to the states, respect for individual liberties and freedom.
HRC: Massive and costly expansion of governmental power, coupled with the destruction of individual rights in favor of a collectivist model (a la Hugo Chavez).

FDT: Work to reduce the actual cost of health care through a market-driven approach, allowing more Americans to provide for their families' well-being.
HRC: Why reduce the cost? We'll just take more money from the rich (anyone making more than $50,000 a year) to pay for health care for the poor (anyone making less than $80,000 a year).

FDT: Respect for of American citizens' 2nd Amendment rights, recognizing their natural right to self-defense and defense of their families and communities.
HRC: The disarming of peaceable, law-abiding American citizens, recognizing that rapists, carjackers, and rampaging murderous madmen have rights too.

FDT: Find terrorists, then kill them.
HRC: Find out why they're angry at us, then "fix" it. And, if it can't be fixed, arrest the terrorists and prosecute them in the American judicial system, affording them the same Constitutionally-protected rights of American citizens.

FDT: Economic prosperity through lower taxation and adherence to free market economic ideals.
HRC: Marxist redistribution of income through higher taxes, and government control of earnings and wages (see Hugo Chavez....again).

FDT: Parental control over their children's educational needs.
HRC: More taxpayer money for the teachers unions.

FDT: Secure our nation's borders.
HRC: Qué?

If that's not enough to make up the minds of intelligent Americans, try these on for size...

US Attorney General Charles Schumer
Secretary of Defense Jack Murtha
Chief Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg

The defense rests.

Got My Schadenfreude Pants On

Broward County (FL) Sheriff Ken "Cinder Block" Jenne is going down for tax evasion and mail fraud. Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy bigger douchebag.

Careful picking up the soap, asshole.

Take a Hint, Buddy

Try booking a smaller room next time.

Republican presidential hopeful, U.S.,Sen. Sam Brownback, R-Kan.
during a speech at the New Hampshire Institute of Politics at Saint
Anselm College in Manchester, N.H., Tuesday, Sept. 4, 2007.
(AP Photo/Jim Cole)

On the bright side, his campaign could release a statement describing how "more than two dozen eager supporters" showed up to hear him sleak, and there's no way anyone who wasn't there would accuse them of padding their numbers.

On that note, here's an article from the Concord Monitor on how some presidential campaigns are coming up with their crowd estimates, which always seem to exceed (by a large margin, color me shocked) the numbers put out by local police and news media.

We happened to be at Portsmouth's Prescott Park during another Edwards rally last Sunday. It was a big crowd, enough to fill the chairs and then some. We thought it was a few hundred people. We were surprised to read press accounts that said 1,000.

So we double-checked with the Portsmouth Police Department, who were on hand at the rally. Deputy Chief Len DiSesa put it bluntly.

"They estimated around 1,000. We estimated around 300 to 400," he said. "Maybe they were counting shadows."

Bedingfield said the campaign had actually signed in more than 1,000 people - and that's a lowball, she said, because some people refuse to sign in. "The numbers that we have are usually even lower than the actual number," she said.

We can attest that the Edwards campaign was very assertive with the sign-in sheets: 90 minutes before the candidate rolled in, they were on the sidewalk outside the park as well as at a couple of tables inside the park gathering signatures. Walking into the park an hour before the rally was supposed to begin, we were chased down by staffers at two tables. So maybe, just maybe, passers-by put down their names without attending.

Yeah.

Maybe.

Quick Baseball Question

Where the hell are the runners supposed to be, if not "on the corners"?

The Mother of Invention

Bottle opener sandals.

Bottle opener trailer hitch covers.

God bless western civilization.

Jinxed

It seems some asshole at Yahoo Sports took it upon himself to post the Red Sox' "magic number" with the MLB standings.

(click to super-size)

We're done for.

You Say Potato Gun...

...I say pipe bomb.

HULL, Iowa -- A Hull man died Friday from his injuries after a potato gun stuffed with explosive powder ignited and erupted.

That's a special kind of stupid right there.

Ryan Meerdink, 21, was found outside of 915 Hayes St. at 8:20 p.m. by Hull authorities. He was then taken to Sioux Center Hospital, where he later died. The gun apparently ruptured when it was fired, according to an investigation by the Iowa State Fire Marshal's Office. No intentional sources for the explosion were found and the explosion was accidental.

But, of course it was. I'm always finding myself setting off over-sized pipe bombs in my hands without knowing what's happening.

Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before

'Tis the season.

A young driver tried to clear a 10-foot bridge on inbound Storrow Drive Saturday afternoon with a large moving truck, completely peeling the roof of the truck off.

The incident happened early-afternoon Saturday and backed traffic up for miles on the busy Labor Day weekend.

It appears that instead of stopping immediately after hitting the bridge, the driver kept going about 25 feet under the bridge, causing the truck's roof to be ripped off.

Happens every year, without fail.

I iz in college. I kan reed sines reel good.

Talk About Bringing Your A-Game

Good job, kid.

BOSTON (AP) -- Before Clay Buchholz made his major league debut two weeks ago, the Boston Red Sox told him he was going back to the minors -- even if he pitched a no-hitter.

Got to keep the kid now.

The 23-year-old rookie pitched that no-hitter in just his second outing, using a dazzling three-pitch assortment of fastballs, curves and changeups to beat the Baltimore Orioles 10-0 Saturday night.