Thursday, June 30, 2005

Cool Site of the Day

The Baby Name Wizard's Name Voyager.

UPDATE: Let the name "Sunshine" serve as a potent reminder - drugs wear off, but crappy names stay with your child to the grave.

Local Loozahs

Today's "Local Loozahs" post comes from, where else, the Boston Herald Police Logs.

Now, if you're out on a boat and you start taking on water, it's good to have a flare gun on hand, so that the local authorities and rescue personnel can locate you before you sink. This is not, however, a good strategy to employ if you're sitting on your front porch with an illegal handgun in your possession.


Tyrone Antoine Taylor, 18, allegedly got into the Fourth of July spirit a bit early Tuesday when he ignited a roman candle from a porch on Stonehurt Street.

Unfortunately for Tyrone, two cops happened to be driving by and stopped to watch the show before approaching the lad on the porch.

The officers found a backpack full of fireworks but when they located a handgun in the bag the festive mood disappeared.

Taylor was charged with illegal possession of a firearm along with the fireworks, which will spend the holiday in evidence rather than soaring over the city.

Nice play, Shakespeare.

Here We Go Again

Today's MGCSS/DHBA comes from the Boston Globe.

Violence claims two more lives in Boston
Homicides rise to 29 this year

By Cristina Silva, Globe Correspondent June 30, 2005

A 19-year-old man was killed in the hallway of his grandmother's home in a drive-by shooting Tuesday night in Roxbury, and five hours later another man was found fatally stabbed on a Dorchester street corner, police and relatives said yesterday.

Clearly, the Globe is just making these stories up now. I mean, come on, a drive-by shooting? In Boston? Why we have the "most effective gun control laws in the country". It's very illegal to shoot someone on the sidewalk from a moving vehicle. And a stabbing? That's not possible. We've been told we need these "common sense" gun laws, because "guns cause crime".

I call upon the Boston Globe to recant these two OBVIOUSLY fabricated stories.

But don't despair, fair citizens of Boston, your courageous mayor has a plan. Yes, after approximately 4,378 days serving in the capacity as mayor of this town, he now has a plan (this time he means it). He just needed a few (thousand) days to work out the kinks.

City officials plan to announce today Mayor Thomas M. Menino's summer antiviolence strategy, including a new squad of about 10 police officers on bicycles patrolling Mattapan, Roxbury, and Dorchester; the return of city-sponsored midnight basketball; and 14 new youth workers.

I will say I am definitely in favor of increasing the number of officers patrolling these neighborhoods on mountain bikes. More to the point, I'd like to see more cops trading in their cruisers for bikes, instead of having the city use the old "throw more money at it" method of problem-solving. The rest of Menino's plan, however, seems to revolve around the theory that these kids are shooting each other because they're bored and "there's nothing to do".

We live in the largest city in New England. There are plenty of places to go, and things to do that don't involve gunplay (though, not nearly enough indoor pistol ranges). If boredom triggered violence, the town in Maine I grew up would have been a friggin' bloodbath.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Time's Running Out

The New Hampshire License Plate Contest will close at noon today. I currently have my top two picks in mind, but there's still time to get yours in for consideration.

Post your entries in the comments section on the original post linked above or this one if you're too lazy to click over.

UPDATE: We have a winner!

Dude, Buy a Magazine

This is just nasty.

ALBANY, N.H. --A 45-year-old man was arrested after a teenage girl found him staring at her from below an outhouse seat, police said. Police said they pulled Gary Moody, from Gardiner, Maine, from the waste tank under a log cabin outhouse on Monday.

I think I'll skip breakfast this morning.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

If Dreams Came True (vol. 2)

I'm thinking MasterCard ad.

Monday, June 27, 2005

Mr. Chip Meany
Code Enforcement Officer
Town of Weare, New Hampshire
Fax 603-529-4554

Dear Mr. Meany,

I am proposing to build a hotel at 34 Cilley Hill Road in the Town of Weare. I would like to know the process your town has for allowing such a development.

Although this property is owned by an individual, David H. Souter, a recent Supreme Court decision, "Kelo vs. City of New London" clears the way for this land to be taken by the Government of Weare through eminent domain and given to my LLC for the purposes of building a hotel. The justification for such an eminent domain action is that our hotel will better serve the public interest as it will bring in economic development and higher tax revenue to Weare.

As I understand it your town has five people serving on the Board of Selectmen. Therefore, since it will require only three people to vote in favor of the use of eminent domain I am quite confident that this hotel development is a viable project. I am currently seeking investors and hotel plans from an architect. Please let me know the proper steps to follow to proceed in accordance with the law in your town.

Thank you.


Logan Darrow Clements
Freestar Media, LLC

See also the follow-up press release.

(links via TriggerFinger)

Teach Your Children Well

You can rest assured that any story containing the following passage will not have a happy ending.

The gun was already there, under a couch, while people were sitting around smoking marijuana, Buso said. At some point, Welch saw the weapon and decided to try to make sure the gun did not accidentally discharge, Buso said.

Welch had no formal training in handling handguns and instead relied on what he had seen in movies...

This shithead, most likely high as a kite at the time, found a gun under a couch and decided to fuck around with it based on what he had learned at the Jarrett Barrios/B.A. Baracus School of Firearms.

Well, things didn't go as "planned" (surprise, surprise) and this fledgling rocket scientist shot his downstairs neighbor to death through her ceiling. And I know this may cause some of you to question the effectiveness of the Commonwealth's gun control laws, but Mr. Welch did not possess a state-issued License to Carry a Firearm. I know. I'm equally as shocked, believe me.

So, whom do you trust to teach your children about firearms safety? Brad Pitt? Sly Stallone? Rosie O'Donnell?

Oh, shit, I just type her name again, didn't I? Damn it! Now I have to disinfect my keyboard again.

If Dreams Came True

(via Denny at Grouchy Old Cripple)

Monday, June 27, 2005

Gun Violence? In Chicago? I'm Stunned.

Life goes on in the gun-free Utopian paradise of Chicago.

Nearly 24 people shot in less than 12 hours

Shots rang out across the city Saturday night and Sunday morning -- from the Far North Side to the Far South Side -- with preliminary reports of nearly two dozen people shot.

The overnight tally -- which is unofficial -- included two shootings on the same corner, a fatal shooting near the Taste of Chicago and several on the West Side, where detectives were swamped.

"We're just spinning up here," one detective said.

Numerous incidents of gunfire and related injuries were reported overnight Saturday. Among them:

*At 9:45 p.m. Saturday, 20-year-old Christopher Sanders of Chicago was fatally shot during a fight one block from the Taste of Chicago.

*At 6:06 a.m. Sunday near Damen and 38th, a man was shot in the shoulder, police said.

In between:

*A man was shot in the head at 11:52 p.m. at 4129 W. Van Buren.

*A 38-year-old man was shot and killed at 3:15 a.m. in the street in the 1400 block of West Carmen.

*And a man was left in critical condition after a drive-by shooting at 5:30 a.m. at 12434 S. Wentworth, police said.

There were two shootings at the corner of 52nd and Mozart.

*The first came at 9:47 p.m. when a man was shot in the foot.

*Hours later, at 1:38 a.m., two men sitting on a porch at the corner were shot by someone who pulled up in a dark Ford Escort wagon, police said.

So, aside from all the shooting victims being dragged into area morgues and emergency rooms, what else could we use as an indicator to gage the success of Chicago's "common-sense", "for the children" handgun ban?

Well, how about this?

Chicago pairing surveillance cameras with gunshot recognition systems

City officials are using new technology that recognizes the sound of a gunshot within a two-block radius, pinpoints the source, turns a surveillance camera toward the shooter and places a 911 call. Officials can then track the shooter and dispatch officers to the scene.

Yes, gun control has been SO successful in Chicago that an expensive surveillance system of high-tech cameras and microphones is now being installed to detect and track down the source of all that gunfire that must not exist in the first place.

And you thought Massachusetts was fucked up.

I especially love this line:

In Chicago, police hope the gunshot detection systems will add momentum to a technology-fueled crackdown on guns and gang violence. The city in 2004 reduced its homicide rate to its lowest level since 1965 and police seized 10,000 guns -- successes that were in large part credited to a network of "pods," or remote-controlled cameras that can rotate 360 degrees and feed video directly to squad-car laptops. The SENTRI systems are an addition to that network.

"Successes"? Are they on glue?

Even if their "Big Brother" surveillance system was responsible for this "success" of getting 10,000 guns of the street, would that not, by default, prove beyond any doubt that their gun ban has been nothing but a complete, dismal failure? I know it's not fair to present these people with any argument rooted in logical thought, but I figure I'd throw the question out there anyway.

(links via Drudge)

mAss Backwards Contest Update

OK, I'm a little late in announcing the winner to this previous contest. I searched high and low and couldn't find any stories from that past weekend about any kids voluntarily removing themselves from the gene pool through acts of stupidity and recklessness.

Therefore, I hereby declare JP the official winner for his ridiculously optimistic pick of ZERO. Congratulations, JP. Send me your address by e-mail and I will send out your "cheap-ass prize" - though, it's not a bad prize at all. You will be the recipient of this handsome window sticker from Gadsden and Culpeper American Heritage Shoppe Ltd.

And now, on to the new contest.

Here is your task. Go to the License Maker website and create a New Hampshire license plate for me to affix to my vehicle following our eventual relocation to the Granite State. For the purposes of this contest, entry length will be limited to seven (7) characters in length (including punctuation and spaces) and must be characters recognized by the License Maker application (so that the image can be posted here).

Have fun. Here are a couple examples to get your creative juices flowing. Enter as many times as you like. Leave your entries in the comments section.

The winning entry (as determined by yours truly) will receive the same window sticker shown above.

UPDATE: We have a winner!

Jay Tea takes first (and only) prize with his, uh, "Christmas Holiday" suggestion. I must say I'm slightly disappointed that no one discovered what happens when you try using "%" in the License Maker. Do that, and the possibilities are endless.

When Barbecues Are Outlawed

Only outlaws will have barbecues.

Personal responsibility? We don't need no stinkin' personal responsibility.

Just Give Them What They Want 230-gr. JHP

Remember, guns are evil killing machines, even in the hands of law-abiding citizens. And you should never try to defend yourself with one, because that would only serve to "escalate the violence".

Your best course of action: "Just Give Them What They Want".

That sounds reasonable, right? Surely, the gun's just there to scare you into complying and surrendering your wallet and valuables. It's not like these street criminals are violent people, per se. They're just misunderstood victims of society who are enacting their own personal wealth redistribution program. So show some compassion and make your non-tax deductible donation today.


Approached by a masked gunman who demanded his gold chain early yesterday on River Street, a 27-year-old Hyde Park man handed over the jewelry only to get shot in the right foot and thigh.

Gee, it's a good thing the victim was unable to return fire. Why, that might have "escalated the violence" and reduced the masked gunman population in Boston by the count of one.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

I'll Take "Things That Don't Suck" for $400

Or I Could Buy Me Some Pabst

Read this headline, then tell me what images come to mind.

Trust Fund Set Up For Teen Injured In Blast

You probably came up with something similar to what I did, that maybe there was some kid riding his bike over a manhole cover that blew off, injuring him in the process. Or that, at least, the "teen" involved was in some way the victim of a tragic ACCIDENT.


BOSTON -- A trust fund was established Friday for a local teen who was making a sparkler bomb in a friend's Lancaster, Mass., home on Mother's Day when the pipe exploded.

Ricky Cataldo, 18, lost his eye, two fingers on his left hand and had to undergo 10 hours of brain surgery to remove the piece of the pipe that was lodged in his brain. His hand eventually had to be amputated.

I guess the headline: "Man Loses Hand When Pipe Bomb He Was Making Exploded" wouldn't quite drum up the same amount of sympathy. And, yes, once again, I must be the biggest cold-hearted bastard walking the face of the earth. Because, I can't imagine kicking in even a nickel for this idiot.

Gee, Ricky, I'm sorry your hand, like, exploded and stuff. But maybe, just maybe, that was something you should have considered prior to making a fucking pipe bomb!

Friday, June 24, 2005


If anyone in the Boston area is interested in joining me for a cool, refreshing beverage this evening (or two, or...), I'll be heading downtown to Jacob Wirth's for a glass of Jake's Special Dark and Sing-Along With Mel.

I'll be at the table to the left of the piano.


Best of Luck, John Jay

Reader and unfortunate fellow resident of Boston, John Jay, will be taking his qualification test today at the Boston Police Department pistol range pertinent to his application for a MA License to Carry a Firearm (LTC).

Please join me in wishing him the best of luck. Another citizen joining the ranks of the lawfully armed within the darkened walls of Meningrad is never a bad thing.

If you beat my score of 286/300, I'll definitely have to hit the range this weekend for some practice time. Fuck, who am I kidding? Saturday being a four-box day is a foregone conclusion at this point, given the indefensible loaf pinched out by SCOTUS yesterday.

Any takers?

Nice Knowing You

Thursday, June 23, 2005

More Flag Burning Quotes

This time from the Massachusetts Congressional Delegation - and it's one of those rare occasions when I'm in agreement with the majority of them.

"I actually respect people's right to protest, even if they're stupid."

- U.S. Rep. Michael Capuano (D-Somerville)

Can't argue that.

"Gasoline is $2.35 a gallon, we're fighting two wars in the Middle East and we're spending our way into bankruptcy, but for the 15th year in a row the politicians in Washington are focused on changing the Constitution to stop something that almost never happens."

U.S. Rep. Martin Meehan (D-Lowell)

I agree, Marty, BUT that line of reasoning certainly didn't stop you and your colleagues from supporting a nationwide ban on scary-looking, semi-automatic "assault weapons" which the ban's proponents proclaimed were the overwhelming "weapon of choice" for gangbangers and drug dealers, despite numerous studies published since that contradict that theory.

"There are many other forms of nonviolent protest that remain available to protesters who seem to have no shortage of creativity," Lynch said. "This is one they can do without."

U.S. Rep. Stephen F. Lynch (D-South Boston)

Hey, Lynchie, there are a LOT of things in this world we can "do without" - homophobic bigots waving "God Hates Fags" signs at the annual St. Patrick's Day parade in your neighborhood is one shining example. It doesn't mean we should curtail the civil liberties and constitutionally protected rights of American citizens, for which our founding fathers gave their lives, just because we disagree. Wake Grow up.

Slippery Slope Indeed

I was going to put up a post regarding the current push to ban flag burning via a Constitutional Amendment, but I'll yield the floor to Ravenwood on this one. This should be a no-brainer to anyone who actually understands and appreciates the United States Constitution and the rights of American citizens that are protected by it.

No, no, no, no! Chipping away at the First Amendment is an idiotic idea. Flag burning, while detestable, should be protected free speech. Anyone who supports a ban cannot possible support the First Amendment.

As a patriot, I hate flag burning as much as the next guy. It's not surprise that it's unpopular. But unpopular speech is the exact kind of speech that the First Amendment is meant to protect. And as long as a person is burning their own flag and not causing a fire hazard to anyone else, the practice should remain legal. Throwing someone in jail for burning a red white and blue piece of fabric is tyranny, whether you make it legal or not.

I sincerely hope this is one piece of legislative crap that goes down in flames.

UPDATE: Also chiming in on this:

Say Uncle

So, if an amendment actually restricts the free speech protected by the first amendment, which one takes precedent?

Zondo Deb

I can't believe that the House actually passed this stupid thing. We have serious problems they could be spending time on. (Illegal immigration, cutting spending, next year's budget, the energy bill, ... just to name a few.)


I love the "principles for which it stands" a lot more than I love the flag itself; it's just a symbol. And I've always felt the easiest way to sort out this issue is to ask yourself whether one of the Founders would have burned a British flag to get his point across. The answer is clearly yes, and that means it should be a form of protected speech -- so long as you own the flag you're proposing to burn, and do so in reasonable safety, at least.


The House has passed a constitutional amendment to prohibit America-hating assholes from publicly identifying themselves. Dumb, dumb, and double-dumb.

Viking Pundit

A waste of time

Little Green Footballs

More free speech, not less. Always the best policy, for so many reasons.

Toys in the Attic

I thought it was IDIOTIC for George HW Bush to make the flag burning amendment an issue in 1988. It’s equally idiotic now.

And, of course, Lee from Right-Thinking

I own two pairs of Old Navy boxer shorts that are made of an American flag pattern. Does this count as desecration of the flag, by wearing something comprised of a flag image up against my balls and ass? If I fart through these boxers, does that count as desecration? What about Tommy Hilfiger clothing, virtually all of which has some kind of American flag motif. Do those clothes count for special protection over an identical shirt that doesn’t have a flag motif on it?

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

The Bay State Way

Remember, folks, we commoners in Massachusetts don't need to own firearms for self-defense - the police will protect us all.

Diane Camillo of Quincy might beg to differ on that point. This story was too hard to excerpt, so I'll put up the whole thing.

Attacked Quincy mother assails MBTA security

A Quincy woman is calling for MBTA officials to step up security on the trains and at stops after she and her young son were attacked by a group of teenage girls.

Diane Camillo, 27, was riding the Orange Line inbound after a Memorial Day outing to the Franklin Park Zoo in Dorchester with her son Ryan, 5, and a friend. When a group of boisterous girls crammed into the already-crowded subway car, they bumped violently into Ryan's stroller several times, she said. Camillo asked them to apologize.

Instead, she said, as she turned to sit down, they jumped her and began kicking, punching and pulling her hair. No one on the crowded subway car did anything to her aid and the assault lasted several minutes, she said.

"They just attacked me. All I asked is that they say, 'Excuse me,'" Camillo said. "You think you're safe riding these trains and you're not."

Putting women and children in harm's way with no means to protect themselves from vicious criminal attacks - the proud Massachusetts liberal tradition lives on.

The beating continued until the train reached the Roxbury Crossing stop, she said. Camillo tried to leave with her son and friend, but the girls followed them out. The beating spilled out onto the subway platform.

Camillo and her friend, Elizabeth Feliciano of Boston, said they tried to get an MBTA worker to intervene, but he did nothing.

Although Camillo said she pressed an emergency call button while inside the train, MBTA police weren't waiting at the stop as she expected. An EMT showed up at the scene after the gang had already sauntered off, laughing about the incident, she said.

Camillo and her son were taken to Children's Hospital in Boston, where Ryan was treated and released. The boy's lip was cut during the fray, Camillo said.

The people of Massachusetts (especially those in Quincy) have been systematically denied the right to self-defense, in the name of "common sense" gun control. As a direct result, we now have a five-year-old boy and his mother getting viciously beaten on their way to the zoo.

Memo to Senator Barrios, and the rest of you gun-grabbing, statist pricks: You can take all your "It's for the children" gun control garbage and shove it up your "progressive" asses! How proud this story must make you all feel today.

"He never wants to ride the train again," said the young mother, who uses the train daily because she doesn't have a car.

Feliciano, 40, said she was also attacked and was stabbed in the hand several times with a sharp instrument.

"I'm not taking the train anymore," she said. "I'll take the bus."

MBTA spokesman Joe Pesaturo said transit police are investigating the incident. The train operator was interviewed yesterday and gave a description of the assailants.

Pesaturo said the conductor did try to break up the fight on the subway platform and went beyond what is expected of an MBTA employee in such a volatile situation.

"He put himself in harm's way, and that is not something we encourage of transit employees unless they're police," Pesaturo said. "The train crew did everything they were supposed to do."

Camillo and Feliciano say that isn't how it happened. They say no one from the MBTA helped.

Feliciano said she begged the train conductor to do something about the girls but he responded: "What do you want me to do? Hold them one by one? That's not my job."

After the fight was over, one passenger even blamed the two women for confronting the girls' on the train and setting off the fight, Feliciano said.

Welcome to Massachusetts - please check your personal responsibility at the door. Sickening.

Only one passenger, an elderly woman, had the courage to chastise the girls as they pummeled Camillo, she said.

Pesaturo said the subway is "100 percent safe," and that there is no indication that this was anything more than an "isolated incident."

Mr. Pesaturo is 100% delusional.

"It's not like we had a group of girls out wilding," he said.

OK, so maybe they weren't "wilding", whatever the fuck that means. What they were doing was violently assaulting a young women and her five-year-old son. But hey, as long as they weren't out doing anything bad.

Camillo, who said she suffered bruises and scrapes and had a headache that lasted two days, said the MBTA must do more to protect its passengers.

Feliciano, too, said the T needs to do more for passenger safety.

"All I want is for them to watch out for people," Feliciano said. "Respond to calls. Do something. How can they say there's nothing they can do?"

Because that's exactly what the people of Massachusetts have been taught to believe - that we are not to be trusted in providing for the safety and well-being of ourselves, our families, and our neighbors. That is the job of our benevolent, all-powerful, government officials.

Now shut up and get back in line - everything's fine.

Slow News Day

OK, it's frivilous, lighthearted crap time.

The American Film Insitute just released their Top 100 list of U.S. movie quotes. Not much to argue with here, given that the list was generated from surveys sent to movie industry insiders (and Harry Callahan and Travis Bickle both managed to make the Top 10).

1. "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." - Clark Gable, "Gone With the Wind"

2. "I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse." - Marlon Brando, "The Godfather"

3. "I coulda been a contender" - Marlon Brando, "On the Waterfront"

4. "Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore." - Judy Garland, "The Wizard of Oz"

5. "Here's looking at you, kid." - Humphrey Bogart, "Casablanca"

6. "Go ahead, make my day." - Clint Eastwood, "Sudden Impact"

7. "All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up." - Gloria Swanson, "Sunset Boulevard"

8. "May the Force be with you." - Harrison Ford, "Star Wars"

9. "Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night." - Bette Davis, "All About Eve"

10. "You talking to me?"- Robert De Niro, "Taxi Driver"

Other notables:

"Casablanca" led the list with six quotes, including Bogart's "Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship" (No. 20) and "We'll always have Paris" (No. 43), and Bergman's "Play it, Sam. Play `As Time Goes By'" (No. 28).

Other highlights include Sidney Poitier's "They call me Mister Tibbs!" (No. 16), "In the Heat of the Night"; Roy Scheider's "You're gonna need a bigger boat" (No. 35), "Jaws"; Arnold Schwarzenegger's "I'll be back" (No. 37), "The Terminator"; Renee Zellweger's "You had me at `hello'" (No. 52), "Jerry Maguire"; Peter Sellers' "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!" (No. 64), "Dr. Strangelove"; and Charlton Heston's "Soylent Green is people!" (No. 77), "Soylent Green."

The oldest line was Al Jolson's "Wait a minute, wait a minute. You ain't heard nothin' yet" (No. 71) from 1927's "The Jazz Singer." The newest was Andy Serkis' "My precious" (No. 85) from 2002's "The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers."

Rowdy comedy was represented (John Belushi's "Toga! Toga!", No. 82, from "National Lampoon's Animal House"), along with horror (Jack Nicholson's "Here's Johnny!", No. 68, from "The Shining"). So was musical comedy (Barbra Streisand's "Hello, gorgeous," No. 81, from "Funny Girl"), and epic romance (Leonardo DiCaprio's "I'm king of the world!", No. 100, from "Titanic").

Single words made the list, Orson Welles' "Rosebud" (No. 17) from "Citizen Kane" and Walter Brooke's "Plastics" (No. 42) from "The Graduate."

Super-spy James Bond scored with lines that began with original 007 Sean Connery: "Bond. James Bond" (No. 22) from "Dr. No" and "A martini. Shaken, not stirred" (No. 90) from "Goldfinger."

No Jeff Spicoli??? I demand a recount!

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

"Undocumented Residential Co-Occupants"

A year ago last March, I had this post up regarding some good news out of Newton, Massachusetts concerning the decrease in the crime rate in the city. It seems that any celebrations resulting thereof may have been short-lived.

Police search for burglar

NEWTON -- Police said they are searching for a suspect in the latest home burglary, a man who got away with a small amount of cash while the homeowner's son slept alone in their Kodaya Road home early yesterday.

The burglary occurred about 4 a.m., after the suspect entered through a first-floor window, Lt. Bruce Apotheker said.

He did not know if the window was unlocked or open.

He said the burglar -- who was seen briefly by the homeowner's son when the suspect shined a flashlight in a third-floor bedroom -- is described as white, about six-feet-tall with a heavy build.


According to Apotheker, there have been 50 to 60 break-ins in Newton since May 1.

You got that? If someone breaks into your home to rob you while you're inside, it's either a "break-in" or a "burglary". That's odd, I've come to know and appreciate the term "HOME INVASION" to describe such a scenario. God forbid they should print that in the papers - and in Newton of all places! Why, home invasions only happen in those "poor" parts of town. If we suddenly start being honest and up-front with people, they might realize there are criminals walking the streets in nearly every city and town in the country. What a buzzkill that would be.

Now, imagine this headline: Newton Residents Terrorized By Daily Home Invasions

Case in point:

He said the number of home burglaries this year is nearly double over last year. Business break-ins have increased 58 percent, leading to a 37 percent increase in crime so far this year.

So, over the last two months or so, the city of Newton is averaging one "break-in" a day? I blame all those licensed gun owners in town (more on that below). Clearly more needs to be done to trample on their rights even further than has already been done. It's for the children, people!

Tim Carlson, 45, of Gloucester and New York, was arrested last Monday after he broke into a Lower Falls home while a woman was putting her children to bed.


Apotheker said that break-in is under investigation. He said it is not yet known if Carlson is linked to any of the other burglaries.

"In Newton you don't get crimes against the person, you get crimes against the property," he said. "We remind all (residents) to make sure their homes and cars are locked."

Again, I'm sorry, Lieutenant, but if someone forces their way into my home while my wife is putting our daughters to bed, or while we're sleeping, it's not a crime against my house, or my friggin' TV set! But, hey, if you can get the residents of Newton to buy into your assessment there so they can sleep soundly in la-la land, more power to you. Just make sure you've got your next round of clever sound bites and euphemisms all set to go when one of these future "property crime" victims turns up bludgeoned to death in her hallway.

More on the City of Newton and its residents' right to bear arms and their willingness to do so can be found here. Note: According to the Newton TAB article linked to in that post, more than 1,200 Newton residents are licensed to own a firearm. With an adult (18+) population of just over 66,000 (2000 census data), that accounts for less than 2% of those eligible to apply for a Firearms Identification Card (assuming no other disqualifying issues).

While it's encouraging to see that Newton has a higher percentage of legally armed residents than the surrounding communities, it still gives the bad guy a 54 in 55 chance of encountering defenseless victims in their homes . These lowlife scumbags might not be the sharpest tools in the shed, but chances are they have a better grasp on this basic statistical concept than the current batch of students being "educated" under the current Newton public schools mathematics curriculum.

File Under: Gun Control Works

Presented without commentary (OK, maybe some bold, highlighted text, but that's it).

Panic button couldn’t protect woman

Merline Port-Louis knew she was a woman in danger.

In the weeks before she was shot to death early Saturday morning, her estranged boyfriend, Marlon Fann, called and threatened to kill her and her family three times, Nassau police said.

Port-Louis took the appropriate measures: She made copies of the threats, filed charges with police and got a panic button to press in case of emergency.

But neither her efforts nor those of police were enough to stop Fann from pulling out a gun and shooting Port-Louis in the driveway of her New Cassel home, and then calling her mother and threatening to do the same to her and police if they tried to arrest him, police said.

Yesterday, Fann was still at large, and police moved Port-Louis' mother and 3-year-old daughter to an undisclosed location. That nearly every means of protecting Port-Louis was exhausted but insufficient is the frustration of police.

"I think she did everything she could," said Det. Sgt. Richard Laursen of the Nassau Homicide Squad. "There's only so much a court order will do. If the person wants to disregard it, he's going to."


(link via KABA)

Monday, June 20, 2005

"Most Effective" At What, Exactly?

Today's MGCSS will undoubtedly come as a surprise to many of you - NOT. But, it seems that despite having the "most effective gun laws in the country", more and more criminals are carrying guns. Who could have guessed?

Lynn PD sees spike in illegal gun seizures

LYNN - The number of guns seized in the first five months of 2005 is up 133 percent from the number recovered in the same time frame last year, according to statistics provided by Lynn Police.


Twenty-one guns have been seized from January 1 to June 1, according to Lynn Police Lt. Dave Brown, compared to the nine guns in 2004, and 16 in 2003.

Obviously, the solution here is to create additional restrictions on the issuance of gun permits to law-abiding citizens.

Many times the guns recovered were determined to be stolen.

I am simply shocked. I certainly hope they waited a minimum of 15 days before using those stolen guns. You know, to "cool off" and all.

Now, what MGCSS would be complete without an example of overtly inaccurate reporting by a Massachusetts newspaper?

Among the guns that have been seized this year is a .357 magnum, a .22 caliber pistol and a Tec-9 submachine gun.

Not that I have to explain the sheer folly of that statement to any of my readers, but this is an Intratec "Tec-9" semiautomatic pistol:

While it might look scary (I mean, come on, it's got that barrel thingy with all those holes in it, just like an Uzi-Mac-47), and the mere sight of it is enough to make the typical gun-grabbing asshole soil his or her undergarments*, it is not a submachine gun. One shot per trigger pull, no more, no less.

Of course, this gun has been specifically outlawed in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, courtesy of our "common-sense" "assault weapons" ban, yet there are criminals walking the streets with such weapons of mass destruction.[/barriospeak] How can that be? Why, one would almost be led to believe that drug-dealing gangbangers don't give a flying fuck what the law says they can and cannot do.

Well, that's a new one. Gee, someone should start a blog to talk about what a failure this social experiment called gun control has been for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. I know I'd read it.

* Or is it?

Depends On Where You Put 'Em

Headline: Grapefruit May Make Women Seem Younger

Friday, June 17, 2005

Have a Pissah Weekend

I'm off to Maine with the wife and kids for the weekend. We will be celebrating my twin daughters' third birthdays on Saturday - quite the Father's Day present. And, who knows, maybe my wife got me some duct tape.

See you Monday.


What do you think?


For all the times I've asked, "What the hell are those assholes smoking up on Beacon Hill, anyway?", I finally have an answer.

The regions with the 10 highest and lowest rates of marijuana use by residents 12 and over, according to a report by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration:


Boston, 12.16 percent
Boulder, Colo., 10.3 percent
Southeast Massachusetts, 9.53 percent
Portland, Ore., region, 9.48
Champlain Valley, Vt., 9.37 percent
San Francisco region, 9.24 percent
Hawaii Island, 9.22 percent
Central Massachusetts, 9 percent
North Central California, 8.93 percent
Washington, R.I., 8.81 percent


Northwest Iowa, 2.28 percent
Northeast Iowa, 2.53 percent
Southern Texas, 2.59 percent
Central Iowa, 2.63 percent
Lake region and south central North Dakota, 2.65 percent
Northern Nebraska, 2.65 percent
Southeast Oklahoma, 2.77 percent
Eastern central South Dakota, 2.78 percent
Badlands and west central North Dakota, 2.81 percent
Central Nebraska, 2.88 percent

I can't say it would take a rocket scientist to compare that list to the 2004 electoral results.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Riddle Me This

Q: What's the difference between Senator Dick Durbin (aQ-IL) and a fresh dog turd on a New England February morning?

Breaking News

This went down about an hour ago. I will update as more details are released, as it has the makings of another excellent MGCSS.

BOSTON -- Police are searching for three men after they allegedly tried to rob an armored truck robbery in Boston's North End.

The incident happened at about 11:30 a.m. on Hanover Street. No one was injured, and no money was stolen.

UPDATE: Police have surrounded a house in Malden where the suspects are reportedly hiding out.

UPDATE: According to Howie Carr (WRKO), Channel 7 is reporting that one of the three heavily armed white men holed up in the house has been arrested. The men were reportedly armed with "AK-47's", but given the Barrios-like knowledge of firearms often displayed by our local news media outlets, I'm betting they were anything but.

Stay tuned.

UPDATE: Channel 7 story here.

The suspects, described as three white men, are believed to be armed with AK-47's and are considered armed and dangerous.

Ninety-nine percent of the people in Boston wouldn't recognize an AK-47 if it was jammed straight up their ass with the owner's manual attached. Of course, this would beg the question, "How could that be? AK-47's are illegal in Boston!"

Oh, that's right, they're only illegal to own if you are a law-abiding citizen with no criminal history or inclinations. I keep forgetting. Silly me.

UPDATE: Not surpisingly, the Boston Globe has jumped all over the AK-47 hype of this story like Michael Jackson on a...uh...never mind.

...several homes and businesses were reportedly evacuated as police search for three white men they believe are carrying AK-47’s, according to sources.

While the Boston Herald is playing it cool...for now.

All three were described as masked and heavily armed.

UPDATE: Looks like the feds know better (at least this one does anyway).

The suspects in the attempted robbery were armed with "long weapons," (FBI spokeswoman Gail) Marcinkiewicz said.

EEK! Not "long weapons"! Why those must have been those Uzi-Mac-47's I've been reading about, the most dangerous weapon of mass destruction ever produced. I hear they have special planetary-curvature explosive rounds now that can shoot down airplanes half a continent away!

Senator Barrios! Hold me, I'm scared.

UPDATE: FOX 25 News tonight played a bit from an interview they did with a witness at the scene on Hanover Street. This guy had to have the been the state's premier expert on firearms, as he was able to tell the reporter about the "fully automatic weapons" the men were carrying.

That's funny, I didn't read any reports about shots having been fired. So, he can tell if a gun is a machine gun just by looking at it? Wow, I'm impressed.

UPDATE: This witness from the scene is obviously from the 1% Club (see above).

"I saw what I believed to be a semiautomatic rifle fall on the ground from the passenger side" of the van, Bloomer said. "They picked up the rifle, closed the door and proceeded down Hanover Street."

Based on the above examples, I hereby present the Accurate Reporting on Stories Involving Scary Guns Award to the Boston Herald for their coverage of this event and to Mr. Bloomer for the eyewitness account he gave them.

Father's Day

Father's Day is fast approaching. For anyone at a loss for ideas as to what to get Dad for Father's Day, here are a few suggestions. First, this quote from Kim's recent post on the subject.

A gift certificate to a Sears Tool Store, or Home Depot, or Lowe's, or Cabela's, or Bass Pro. You may think that a gift certificate is an unromantic gift for The Man You Love, but trust me, it isn't.


And if you think he has enough tools already, trust me on this: he doesn't.

To that end, here are a few "can never have enough" tools that would make excellent Father's Day gifts, no matter if the dad in your life has one already or not. For the purposes of this post, I will focus solely on the "10 bucks and under" category (think "presents for Daddy" from the kids). All of these items are (or damn well should be) available at any Home Depot store.

1. Husky Folding Lock-back Utility Knife $9.97

I've gone through three of these in the last year and a half. The first two managed to grow legs at the jobsite - such is life. My latest rarely leaves my belt when not in use. I currently have the Craftsman version of this fine tool, which has a textured aluminum body (red) - very nice. And I don't know of any state (Marxachusetts included) in which it is illegal to carry a knife with an exposed blade length of 1-1/8".

2. Stanley 30 Ft. LeverLock Tape Measure $9.88

Every man should have a minimum of three tape measures, one for the garage, house, and car, with at least one of them being a 30-footer. Your individual situation may require additional tape measures (e.g. one for the boat, hunting camp, office, etc.).

3. Master Guard Leather Palm Glove - 6 Pack $9.99

I don't give a shit how tough and manly you think you are, unless you're a full-blown metrosexual (or French), you need a good pair of work gloves. You absolutely cannot beat the bang for your buck you get with these gloves. Sure you can spend ten bucks on one pair of "better" gloves, but what do you do when you lose them. And you will lose them.

4. 2 In. Steel Spring Clamp $1.27

At around a buck and a quarter apiece, you can get eight of these for about ten bucks. If you need me to explain to you why you need a good supply of clamps on hand, I don't want to know you.

Trust me, I could go on at ridiculous length on this theme (notice I made no mention of duct tape, vise grips, or 10-in-1 screwdrivers), but there are a few solid leads there to get you started.

If, after reading this, you're still stuck for gift ideas, you may adopt my fallback position: When in doubt, Guinness Stout.

Welcome to Massachusetts

I'm too pissed off right now to offer commentary on or to even post highlights lowlights from this Boston Herald article showing the kid gloves treatment convicted sexual predator Raymond Diamond received at the hands of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

To say this story paints a disturbing picture would be a gross understatement. Just read it.

Monster 'busted time and time again'

The Dukakis legacy lives on.

UPDATE: Jay Tea at Wizbang has more, including this link:

A partial criminal history of Raymond Diamond.

May 15, 1980: Convicted of kidnapping and assault with intent to rape a teenage girl in Dorchester. Sentenced to 13 years in prison.

Oct. 18, 1985: Convicted of kidnapping a 6-year-old and trying to extort money from her mother. Sentenced to three to five years in prison.

Oct. 18, 1989: Convicted of abducting and raping a Charlestown woman. Sentenced to five to seven years for rape and a concurrent eight to 10 years for kidnapping.

Jan. 29, 2003: Charged with raping an Atlanta woman in Dorchester. Charges dropped after prosecutors cannot find the woman.

Dec. 26, 2003: Charged with violating a restraining order after allegedly threatening to kill his mother in Dorchester. Charges dropped after prosecutors learn the authorities had failed to notify Diamond of the restraining order.

Sept. 17, 2004: Charged with assault and battery in the beating of his girlfriend, an MBTA employee. Charges dropped after she declines to cooperate with authorities.

Feb. 15, 2005: Charged with failing to register as a sex offender in Dorchester. Charges dropped after Diamond agrees to register.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

A Trip Down Loony Lane

From the Brockton Enterprise today:

Man with gun arrested inside Stoughton bar

Well, clearly this story will show that the licensing requirements for the purchase and possession of handguns need to be significantly tightened. I mean if this guy can get a gun license, we obviously need more "common-sense" gun control laws on the books.

Charged with receiving stolen property in excess of $200, carrying a firearm without a license...

Oh, never mind.

Wait...I've got it! If that's the case, then it's obvious that we need to get all those "gun-happy" states like Vermont and Alabama to adopt Massachusetts-style gun laws so that folks can't buy guns there and then resell them in Massachusetts.

A Canton man, who police said was armed with a gun stolen from a...

Oh, it was stolen? OK, hold on a sec.

Ah-ha! In that case, we need to enact some "common-sense" "safe storage" laws, so that no legally owned firearms in the Commonwealth will end up in the hands of criminals.

What's that? We already have such laws on the books?

Well, gee, it looks like the only way to end gun crime is to call for an outright ban on private ownership of firearms in the Commonwealth. Clearly, the ordinary citizens can't be trusted with guns in their homes. Only the police should have them anyway. After all, they are "professionals".

A Canton man, who police said was armed with a gun stolen from a Boston police officer's home...

Um...OK...gimme a minute.



We're Getting Closer

In this post from last Sunday, I asked the following question of Boston Mayor Tom Menino:

How many more innocent, hard-working residents of your city will need to be brutally stabbed, beaten, raped, and robbed before you abandon your progressive, liberal, socialist, "common-sense" (or whatever the fuck you call it these days) approach to "fighting crime" through gun control, which serves only to deprive the people of Boston of their right to defend themselves and their loved ones?

Whatever his cutoff number is, we're now one violent sexual assault closer to reaching it. From the Boston Herald today:

Caught in the act: Cops: Woman flees rapist - then ID's him from predator posting

By Michele McPhee
Wednesday, June 15, 2005 - Updated: 03:10 AM EST

A Dorchester woman who was allegedly kidnapped and raped by a registered sexual predator staggered naked and bleeding into a police station yesterday after leaping from her attacker's car and racing several blocks for help, cops said.

A defenseless women, running around naked and bleeding after being abducted, raped, and stabbed. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I can't for the life of me figure out what the mayor and rest of the gun-grabbing politicians in this state find so appealing about that scenario, but they seem to be doing everything in their power to see it play out on the streets of Boston more and more.

As police called for an ambulance, the woman spotted a board festooned with mugshots of Level 3 sex offenders and began to scream, pointing at a picture of Raymond V. Diamond, 43, who has been arrested for rape seven times and convicted of three sexual attacks. "That's him!" the woman, who is in her 30s, hollered through hysterical tears around 6:40 a.m., pounding her fists on the glass case holding the felons' pictures. "That's the guy who raped me!"

What? A violent, sexual predator walking the streets? And the fact that he had registered as a Level III sex offender with the state did NOTHING to prevent him from raping, torturing, and stabbing this woman? And the fact that he couldn't go to a gun shop and buy a gun didn't steer him toward a life of peace, love, and understanding? How can that be? I thought guns caused crime.

Her identification led District B-3 cops to nab Diamond just minutes before he was allegedly set to rape a second victim he had picked up while posing as a gypsy cab driver, said Deputy Superintendent Margot Hill, the commander of the Boston Police Family Justice Division.

And who gets all the heroic praise?

"These officers not only captured a suspect wanted for rape," Hill said, "they also prevented another rape from happening."

Um, Ms. Hill., excuse me, but didn't this woman, whom this subhuman piece of filth raped and stabbed, play a role here in his apprehension? While it is commendable that these officers were able to act on the ID made by the victim, and make the arrest, it'obviousus to anyone with two brain cells to rub together that if it weren't for the courage and strength she displayed in escaping from this animal, there would be no arrest, and at least one additional victim.

Further, it should be obvious to anyone with three brain cells rattling around in their heads that all the laws in the Commonwealth and the policies of the Boston Police Department that deprive the law-abiding citizens of their right to effective self-defense did nothing to deter this violent career rapist.

Well, at least the people of Boston can take comfort that this asshole is off the streets and will soon be a guest of the state's correctional facilities.

But, for what? Three years? Four maybe.

It's only going to take one "compassionate" judge to put the safety and lives of thousands of women in the city back at risk. But don't worry, they'll make sure he "registers" again.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Cuddly Coyotes In Quincy

Got a predatory carnivore in your backyard, threatening your pets and children? Just call the Animal Control office. I'm sure they'll be able to help, right?


Smart, menacing coyotes in Quincy - and they're here to stay

The Patriot Ledger

QUINCY - They've been spotted yipping through Squantum and eating kittens at Marina Bay.

But when chickens started disappearing from a neighbor's coop, Anne Haigh hadn't considered coyotes were the culprit.

That is until she saw a furry wanderer walking through the beach in her Germantown back yard.

It was a wild wake-up call for Haigh when she and her husband spotted what she called an easily recognizable coyote about 100 feet from her Prescott Terrace home on a recent Saturday morning. The situation became even wilder when she learned that almost nothing could be done to contain or trap the omnivore.

"This is an honest safety issue and not just for our animals," Haigh said.

Quincy's animal control officer responded to Haigh's call quickly, she said. He handed her a "living with wildlife" brochure. And, as he told her, "his hands were tied."


Anyone with coyote concerns should call Quincy animal control at 617-376-1364.

Why? So they can come by and drop off a freakin' pamphlet. This anti-predator strategy was concocted, no doubt, by the same peace-loving folks who brought us that great crime-fighting tool, the restraining order.

Anne, try this brochure instead.

Previous posts on coyotes in the Bay State can be found here and here. And don't forget to take the Coyote Pop Quiz if you haven't done so already.

Denise at The Ten Ring has more thoughts on this.

File Under "Best Idea Ever"

Headline: Jackson Ending Sleepovers in His Room

NOTE: This will be my last post on that nutcake, I swear.

Double Standards at the Boston Globe?

I'm stunned, I tell you. Simply stunned!

Via PoliPundit:

Why can’t The Globe be just as forthcoming with Kerry’s purportedly complete military records as it was with forged documents used to slander a sitting president in a time of war 50 days before an election?

Again, if you have to ask...

More here, courtesy of yours truly.

(link via Michelle Malkin)

On This Day in History

The Pledge of Allegiance

The last change in the Pledge of Allegiance occurred on June 14 (Flag Day), 1954 when President Dwight D. Eisenhower approved adding the words "under God". As he authorized this change he said:

"In this way we are reaffirming the transcendence of religious faith in America's heritage and future; in this way we shall constantly strengthen those spiritual weapons which forever will be our country's most powerful resource in peace and war."

This was the last change made to the Pledge of Allegiance. The 23 words what had been initially penned for a Columbus Day celebration now comprised a thirty-one [word] profession of loyalty and devotion to not only a flag, but to a way of life....the American ideal. Those words now read:

I pledge allegiance to the Flag
of the United States of America,
and to the Republic for which it stands:
one Nation under God, indivisible,
With Liberty and Justice for all.

- June 14, 1954

Now you know.

I Was Wrong

I got home last night and found I had absolutely no desire to watch any of the freakshow footage from outside the courthouse. That was a good feeling.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Michael Jackson Verdict is In

CNN update here. Verdict will be announced at 4:30 EST today.

For the record, I don't give a furry rat's what the verdict is. I will, however, thoroughly enjoy watching the news footage of all the nutjobs and fruitballs outside the courthouse as they react to the verdict.

Now that's "must-see TV".

UPDATE: It's now 5:03 PM and the verdict hasn't been read yet. Maybe leaving the office now to drive home through Dudley Square wouldn't be the best course of action to take this evening, in the event that walking freakshow is found guilty and some of the locals react in a not-so-peaceful manner.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

This Just In

French men want to have babies.

Poll: 38 Percent Of French Men Wish They Could Be Pregnant

POSTED: 12:15 pm EDT June 12, 2005

NEW YORK -- Forget sympathy pains -- nearly 40 percent of French men said they want to go through the real thing.

According to a poll published in the current issue of Children's Magazine, 38 percent of French men questioned said they wish they could be pregnant instead of their wives.

And, as is so often the case with the stupid shit I take the time to write about, there is a tailor-made Monty Python tie-in to accompany the story.

Judith: [on Stan's (Eric Idle) desire to be a mother] Here! I've got an idea: Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb - which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans' - but that he can have the *right* to have babies.

Francis (Michael Palin): Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother... sister, sorry.

Reg (John Cleese): What's the *point*?

Francis: What?

Reg: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies?

Francis: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.

Reg: It's symbolic of his struggle against reality.

Question For The Mayor

Wow, it's a good thing this hard-working resident of Boston didn't have an evil, scary gun on her last night. Something awful might have her murderer.

A Dorchester woman was found stabbed to death yesterday after working the late shift at a Geneva Avenue gas station, her throat slashed and her body badly beaten with a soda crate, police and horrified family members said.

The woman was identified as Lourdes Hernandez, a 39-year-old Dominican Republic native who was working the 3 p.m. to 11 p.m. shift at Lukoil gas station.


Rodriguez said Hernandez was married last November and was working at the gas station while studying to get her accounting license. He said he had worked at the gas station before Hernandez and had once been hospitalized for a week after being beaten during a robbery.

The family was worried about another attack and had helped to buy Hernandez...

...a handgun?
...some pepper spray?
...a stungun?
...a pointed stick?

Wait for it.

...a Honda Accord so she could stop riding her bicycle to work late at night.

Well that came in handy...

Police do not have a suspect or a motive for the killing, but investigators said they are looking for a white 1996 Honda Accord that was stolen from Hernandez after the murder. a getaway car.

The worst part is, even if she had applied for a permit to carry a firearm in the City of Boston, and met all the requirements put in place by the most onerous gun control laws in the country (for the children, you understand), in the eyes of the licensing authority, one's overall fear of the violent crime that runs rampant in these neighborhoods is not sufficient demonstration of the "need" to be able to defend one's self from death or grievous bodily harm.

Do you think I'll get a prompt reply to this?

Dear Mayor Menino,

In light of the recent vicious slaying of Lourdes Hernandez at the Dorchester gas station where she worked, I have a very simple, straightforward question for you.

How many more innocent, hard-working residents of your city will need to be brutally stabbed, beaten, raped, and robbed before you abandon your progressive, liberal, socialist, "common-sense" (or whatever the fuck you call it these days) approach to "fighting crime" through gun control, which serves only to deprive the people of Boston of their right to defend themselves and their loved ones?

Just give me a number, that's all I'm asking for here. I'm quite curious as to what your cutoff point is.


Bruce [last name edited]

Anybody want to buy a slightly extremely used dead horse?

Class Personified

There have been some rumblings in the blogosphere concerning a theoretical match-up in the '08 presidential race pitting Senator Hillary Clinton against Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice.

In the "wishful thinking department", if this were to take the form of a steel cage wrestling match, I think it would be safe to say it would be the highest-grossing pay-per-view event of all time.

I have no doubt the senator from New York would end up on the losing side of this match-up, regardless of the format of the competition. The bottom line is this: Dr. Rice has more class in her discarded fingernail clippings than Hillary Clinton will ever be able to muster up in her body, mind, and soul, combined.

Case in point:

WASHINGTON - A musician long before she became an academic and then a world-famous diplomat, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice took to the Kennedy Center concert stage Saturday to accompany a young soprano battling an often-fatal disease.

Rice's rare and unpublicized appearance at the piano marked a striking departure from her routine as America's No. 1 diplomat. A pianist from the age of 3 she played a half-dozen selections to accompany Charity Sunshine, a 21-year-old singer who was diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension a little more than a year ago.

The soprano is a granddaughter of Rep. Tom Lantos (news, bio, voting record), D-Calif., and his wife Annette, who Rice has known for years. The Pulmonary Hypertension Association, formed in 1990, presented the concert to draw attention to the disease from which more than 100,000 people are known to suffer.

I rest my case.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

More Common Sense - Massachusetts Style

So, a couple of eighth-graders out at Amherst Regional Middle School wanted to enter the science fair with a project researching the ballistic properties of BB guns. Their point was to demonstrate how dangerous BB guns can be.

They were disqualified from the science fair on the grounds that - yep, you guessed it - BB guns are too dangerous. Your public education system hard at work.

AMHERST, Mass. --Two middle school students who spent months working on a science project to prove how dangerous BB guns can be were disqualified from the state middle school science fair -- because BB guns are too dangerous.

Amherst Regional Middle School eighth-graders Nathan C. Woodard and Nathaniel A. Gorlin-Crenshaw spent seven months researching and testing their hypothesis that BB guns can be deadly and shouldn't be used by children. Minors can't purchase BB guns, but they can receive them as gifts.

The students said they proved that BB guns can penetrate a human to cause a fatal injury; pellets can penetrate farther than BBs; and clothing affects how far a BB and pellet will penetrate.

The boys spent about $200 on ballistics gelatin, which has the same density and consistency as human flesh, to use during their ballistic tests, which were done under the supervision of science teacher Jennifer D. Welborn and Nathan's mother, Sharon L. Downs.

"We put a lot of time into this -- every Monday and Thursday since November," Gorlin-Crenshaw told The Republican of Springfield. "We devoted a weekend to the actual testing."

But 10 days before the June 4 event at Worcester Polytechnic Institute, they were told not to bother attending.

"We had everything ready except gluing the poster," Woodard said. "We got an e-mail that the project was hazardous and it couldn't be shown because they didn't want to encourage kids to use ballistics."

Yes, friends, according to the school administrators, children should be discouraged from entering projects involving science in the science fair. God forbid the students be exposed to educational material that could potentially save the lives of their fellow students.

Fucking wankers.

Friday, June 10, 2005

Another Gun Control Success Story

This one comes from the crime-free gun ban Utopia of South Africa.

'Serial rapist' still on the run

Johannesburg - Johannesburg police continued their search on Thursday for a suspected serial rapist preying on female hairdressers on the streets of the city centre.

Spokesperson Mary Martins-Engelbrecht said the man, who escaped from police custody last month, apparently approached female hairdressers working on the city's streets.

The man, believed to be carrying a firearm, is accused of rape and attempted rape of a number of women in separate attacks since March.

And they expected what, exactly, to happen differently after taking all the guns away from the law-abiding citizenry? Fucking idiots.

Even a Broken Clock is Right Twice a Day

Being the "fair and balanced" person that I am, I give you this story from today's Boston Herald about Mayor Tom Menino doing something, yet again, "for the children".

There's a slight twist, though. This time, it actually is for the children. Well, that and taking the obviously politically correct path of action in the months leading up to an election.

But, hey, I'll throw him a bone when he earns it, regardless of any ulterior motives he might have.

Outraged Menino comes to the rescue

By Kimberly Atkins
Friday, June 10, 2005 - Updated: 03:43 AM EST

Mayor Thomas M. Menino lashed out at the Archdiocese of Boston yesterday, less than 24 hours after the church pushed a kindergarten graduation out of Our Lady of the Presentation School in Brighton.

Menino said he was "angry as blazes" at the move Wednesday night to shutter the school. Church officials changed the locks after catching wind of an alleged plan by some parents and students to occupy the building.

The mayor, who invited students to hold today's 6th-grade graduation at Faneuil Hall, said he was "disgusted" by the church's actions.

More background info on this story here.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Contest For The Coming Weekend

With a lot of area high school students having their graduation ceremonies (and parties) this coming weekend, I have decided to open up the proverbial phone lines for a new mASS BACKWARDS contest.

God knows I've tried to get the word out to people that getting loaded and splitting your car in two on a phone pole can be hazardous to one's health. But, apparently saying such things makes me an insensitive asshole. You want insensitive? Try this.

Guess the number of idiot kids who will drink, drive, speed, crash, and kill themselves this weekend on Massachusetts roadways, parking lots, and ditches. Cerebrally-challenged kids who get in the car with the drunk kid driving and wind up taking the big dirt nap as a direct result thereof will also count toward the final "Stupid Dead Kids" tally.

Leave your entry in the comments section. Closest answer, or earliest submitted correct answer, will win some cheap-ass, yet-to-be determined prize. One entry per person, and the decisions of the judge (that's me) are final.

UPDATE (6/10): I realized this morning that I need to clarify some of the contest's parameters. For the purposes of determining a winner, the following definitions apply:

Stupid: Typically, this would describe kids who were drunk behind the wheel when killed, or passengers in car driven by an intoxicated person when killed, or driving at an excessive rate of speed and/or in a reckless manner when killed.

For the purposes of this contest, the definition of "stupid" will also include, um, other stupid behavior (e.g. a kid showing off his father's "unloaded" handgun or drunk kids playing "let's jump across rooftops").

Dead: Pretty self-explanatory.

Kid: An individual between the ages of 13 and 20, inclusive.

The official "weekend" begins today (Friday) at 3:00 PM and runs through 5:00 AM, Monday morning. Good luck.

And, JP, I'm rooting for you.

UPDATE: OK, It's after 3:00. Game on.

0 - JP
1 - Irishkid
2 - Jason Kallini
3 - Kin-shay
4 - Mike (pick again, FishOrMan and Amy RN)
5 - Roger H.
6 - anon (pick again, Wavemaker)
7 - pmedic
8 - XeroSygnal
9 - Jay G.
10 - gunner
11 - rimfirejones
12 - Ron
13 - Bill
14 - shortbus
15 - Carter
16 - Alan
17 - Patty
18 - Andrew Upson
21 - Katie
22 - Tom
23 - cube

For the "Shocker" File

Please don't let this story destroy your faith in the organized labor movement in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

AG: Union put kids on payroll in seniority scam

Massport's union longshoremen have been placing kids as young as 2 years old on the payroll in a long-running scheme to give them bogus seniority that fattens the wages they fetch as adult dock-workers years later, investigators contend.

"We believe the fraudulent activity went on long enough so that people appearing on payroll records as children are now receiving the benefit of the fraud and working there as adults," said David Guarino, a spokesman for Attorney General Tom Reilly, last night.

But one longshoreman defended the practice as a way to keep generations of the same families on the job.

"How is that bad if they can get their son a job?'' said the longshoreman, who declined to give his name.

"How is it bad"? Are you for real? For starters, asshole, you and your union are intentionally defrauding the state and the taxpayers out of potentially millions of dollars. What part of "corruption" and "fraud" don't you understand?

"I wish my father had done it for me because I am not getting the full pay rate."

I assume that by "full pay rate", you are referring to the illegally over-inflated pay rate. Boy, my heart bleeds for you.

My father earned an honest living, raised me to be a law-abiding citizen, provided me with a quality education, then encouraged me to go out and make it on my own in the world. He must have just hated me.

It's going to be interesting to see how aggressively Attorney General (and 2006 gubernatorial hopeful) Tom Reilly pursues this. What's he going to do, send a major cornerstone of his voter base (i.e. campaign $$$) up the creek? I'm skeptical, at best.

Countdown to this story getting the "low profile" treatment and swept under the proverbial rug in 5..4..3...

Walking the Allston Beat

Today's MGCSS/DHBA comes from the college student capital of the east coast, the Boston neighborhood of Allston-Brighton. As you read this, be sure to keep in mind the tired, worn-out rallying cry of the gun control movement, "GUNS CAUSE CRIME". You'll see this mantra well documented (NOT) in these excerpts here from the Allston-Brighton TAB Police Logs. All the following events took place over a span of four days.

Yes, this blog continues to write itself.

The victim said the suspect threatened him saying, "I need a dollar or I will kick your butt." When he took out his wallet, the suspect grabbed it and ran off, police said. When he threw an umbrella at the suspect, he was surrounded by a group of six who threatened and harassed him, the victim said.

At about 2:15 a.m., a resident was robbed at knifepoint by two suspects, who asked him for a cigarette. After he provided one, one suspect allegedly asked him to empty his pockets and threatened him with a knife he said was in his pocket.

At about 6:57 p.m., a suspect walked behind the counter and pushed the victim into the sink area and allegedly held him by the throat.

While walking from Union Square, the victim was suddenly grabbed from behind, asked for her pocketbook and thrown on ground by two unknown suspects. They also hit her 3-year-old son.

What's the common thread here (as if I have to ask)? Surprisingly, NOT ONE SCARY GUN was involved, yet every victim was forced to rely on the mercy of his or her violent attacker for their physical safety and well-being. Does that sound like a acceptable arrangement to you? For some reason, it sounds just fine to the local politicos responsible for our state's onerous gun control laws.

But, where were the police when all these assaults were taking place, you ask. Good question.

Stolen cars, break-ins and suspicious activity in her neighborhood is making one Bigelow Street resident very nervous. Call 911, said police.

According to Mary Johansen, the Bigelow Street area has seen five house break-ins, four stolen cars and some suspicious activity in the last six months.

Her family had their brand-new GMC truck stolen. Another resident watched a man take out the stereo from his car and run off.

Residents have filed police reports and Johansen has e-mailed the Boston Police Department, to no avail.

"We have a lot of elderly people in this neighborhood and absolutely no police cruisers driving by our homes," said Johansen, a Bigelow Street resident for 38 years.

"To my knowledge, no one's called me on this," said Sgt. Bill Fogerty at the District 14 police station. He said he is not sure what crimes she is referring to, but plans to make sure patrolling officers check out the area.

Not sure what crimes she's referring to? Do you ever read your own police logs, Sergeant?

Welcome to Boston - The City That Doesn't Sleep Wake Up.

The money quote:

Fogerty said it is hard to respond to crimes which happened a long time ago, and asked residents to contact the police immediately and not wait to file reports in such cases.

Um, it's hard, if not downright impossible for the police to effectively respond to crimes which happened three minutes ago. Sure, they can show up, "take your statement", and then "file a report". They're quite good at that. Don't think that it'll help get your wallet back any quicker, or make your hospital stay that much more enjoyable.

And how long, exactly, should someone wait before reporting a crime. Is it asking to much to expect someone to wait until they're out of danger before doing so.

"Well, excuse me, Mr. Crackhead, but you can have my cell phone as soon as I'm done calling the police with it. So, quit your yelling, be patient and put the knife away. You could poke someone's eye out with that thing."

For more news from the crime-free paradise of Allston, see this post from earlier this spring.

And 50 bonus points for whoever gets the title reference above.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

La Rivendell Gauche's another incident of violent crime in Senator Barrios' backyard. Geez, if only we had a 30-day waiting period for handgun purchases, or a special tax on ammunition, then tragedies like this would surely be avoided.[/delusional idiot]

Man is arrested after attack in park

A Cambridge man was arrested yesterday, police said, after he attacked a group of men playing basketball at Riverside Press Park about 5 a.m.


Gebre approached the group of basketball players with a gun in his hand and threatened them, Pasquarello said. The men, aged 18 to 20, wrestled Gebre to the ground, took the gun from him, and called police. Gebre was taken to a local hospital for minor injuries to his face.

Well, that is clearly some irresponsible firearms usage. I hope the senator was on the phone first thing this morning to Commissioner Watson of the Cambridge Police Department, and Secretary Flynn at the Massachusetts Executive Office of Public Safety to see to it that this young man's unrestricted Class "A" License to Carry a Firearm (LTC) is revoked immediately.

Oh, wait...never mind.

Samson Gebre, 20, is expected to be charged today with unlawful carrying of a firearm, assault by means of a firearm, and unlawful possession of ammunition, said Frank Pasquarello, spokesman for Cambridge police.

But gun control works, trust us. And be sure to vote for us come November, you worthless peons! You need us.

While we're on the subject of our good friend, Jarrett, let me share with you this comment I left under a previous post:

Asking Senator Barrios* to abandon his lifelong dream of depriving the law-abiding people of Massachusetts of the right to keep and bear arms for the defense of their families and communities is akin to asking a dog to stop licking its balls.

It's what they do.

* Feel free to substitute your own "favorite" liberal, gun-grabbing politician there. They're entirely interchangeable.

There is Trouble With the Trees

Another heartwarming tale from Mayor Menino's "safe city".

Robbery stirs fears among residents

Pair, 67 and 71, are latest victims in Jamaica Plain

By Suzanne Smalley, Globe Staff June 8, 2005

A couple coming home from an evening stroll to J.P. Licks ice cream shop was robbed at gunpoint on one of Jamaica Plain's busiest residential blocks last week, stirring fears among residents upset by the slaying of a 97-year-old woman late last month.

The armed robbery on Burroughs Street last Wednesday occurred just five days after the killing of Gerda T. Bissett in her home on St. John Street, which is just two long blocks from the site of the robbery, in a neighborhood where residents are unaccustomed to violent crime.

Sound familiar? But wait, this one has a new, yet unsurprising, twist.

Conant said Burroughs Street is well traveled because it is one of the only thoroughfares leading to Jamaica Pond. He said police told residents the street's foliage may have contributed to the crime because the street lights are obscured by leaves.

That's not a typo.

"...the street's foliage may have contributed to the crime..."

So, now the trees have to share some of the blame for the violent crime in Boston. For 50 bonus points, guess which inanimate object will be responsible for crime in the city next week.

UPDATE: Never mind. I just answered my own question.

Fake bullet-proof fashion draws fire from critics

Seventeen-year-old Tyrone Smith doesn't see what the big deal is.

"It's not real, but it's fashion," he said yesterday at the Antonio Ansaldi store in Dorchester, seller of the hottest urban teen must-have - fake bulletproof vests.

The "Raid Vest," which is priced from $40 to $109, has drawn fire from some people who say it promotes violence.

"Officer, it's not my fault he's dead. Sure, I shot the motherfucker, but I thought he had a bulletproof vest on! It's the fake vest's fault. I'm an innocent victim here!"

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

He's No Mumbles

Anyone in Gilbert, Arizona interested in a mayor-swap?

Gilbert Mayor Steve Berman fires his Ruger Model 10/22 at the
indoor shooting range in the basement of his 10,000-square-foot
house in Circle G ranches. James Carreno/The Arizona Republic

(link via Alphecca)

Barrios Shows His True Colors

OK, realize this is yet another news item that's a few weeks old, but, in my defense, if I were to blog every time some rancid blather like this dribbled out of Senator Barrios' mouth, I'd have worn my fingers to the bone by now.

After Setback in the Senate, Ban On Pre-1994 Assault Weapons Pushed Again

By Amy Lambiaso for the State House News Service

Lawmakers are renewing their effort this year to ban the sale of all assault weapons in the state, a controversial move that was narrowly defeated in the Senate last year and is likely to face similar opposition this session.

The state last year adopted a law tying certain definitions of assault weapons to federal definitions and extending a ban on the sale of assault weapons, such as AK-47s and UZIs, made after Sept. 13, 1994. Sen. Jarrett Barrios (D-Cambridge) and Rep. David Linsky (D-Natick) led the effort last year to ban the sale of all assault weapons, arguing that guns are equally dangerous regardless of the year they were made.

But opposition to the bill, who argued it would primarily punish law-abiding gun owners, won out last year and gun owners who legally purchased their weapons before the 1994 deadline may continue to sell, rent or transfer the weapons in Massachusetts.

Linsky and Barrios are again sponsoring separate legislation to extend the ban the pre-1994 weapons, and the Legislature’s Public Safety and Homeland Security Committee heard their bill today.

Did you catch that?

"...guns are equally dangerous regardless of the year they were made."

Now ask yourself, if guns, in the hands of criminals, are also equally dangerous regardless of whether or not they have a pistol grip, or a folding stock, or a bayonet lug, what is the Senator's real agenda here? If you think it's anything other than a total ban on private firearm ownership in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, then you have not been paying attention.

Meanwhile, in fields of idyllic bliss across the river in the Senator's gun-free Utopia of Cambridge:

Two choked with rope and robbed in E. Cambridge

Two residents reported being approached by multiple individuals in East Cambridge, strangled with a rope and beaten in attempted and actual armed robberies last Sunday.

Clearly a statewide, scratch that, nationwide program of rope licensing needs to be implemented...immediately! What kind of world do we live in where we can allow any sweet, innocent child to march into any hardware store and walk out with a deadly weapon such as clothesline (or a hammer, screwdriver, monkey wrench, axe, steak knife, etc.) - without any kind of background check or permit required?

The first incident occurred at 2 a.m. at Berkshire and Marcella streets. The victim reported being approached by four suspects, one of whom threw a rope around his neck and choked him. The suspects then allegedly pushed the man to the ground, kicked him in the head and stole his wallet and keys.

At 2:10 a.m. at Cambridge and Sixth streets, another victim reported a similar incident, saying two individuals approached him from behind, hung a rope around his neck, punched him in the face and then fled when he told them he had no money.

Yep...more unarmed citizens finding themselves at the mercy of violent thugs who have no regard for the lives of their victims - stop me if you've heard that one before. Explain to me again, Senator Barrios, how depriving the law-abiding citizenry of their right to self-defense helps to lower the crime rate. I must be a slow learner, 'cause I'm not gettin' it.

Because, nationwide, violent crime rates are down, despite more and more states allowing their citizenry to carry concealed handguns for the purpose of self-defense.

FBI: Murders, Other Violent Crime Down

WASHINGTON -- The number of murders fell last year for the first time since 1999, according to FBI data released Monday.

It's part of a nationwide decline in all types of violent crime.

Cities with more than 1 million people had the greatest decrease in violent crime, 5.4 percent, while cities under 10,000 saw the greatest decrease in murder, 12.2 percent.

Overall, murders fell by 3.6 percent from the 16,500 reported in 2003. Chicago was largely responsible for the drop.

Criminal justice experts said the decline in violent crime is something of a surprise since gang-related activity is increasing in some parts of the country, the economy is sputtering in some areas, the number of at-risk youth is rising and law enforcement budgets are experiencing cuts.

Granted, you can spin these numbers until the proverbial cows come home, Senator, but it seems to put a few holes in the old "poverty causes crime" theory or the oft-proposed "higher taxes = more cops" solution - not to mention the utter impotence of pimping your so-called "assault weapons" ban as a crime-fighting measure.

Now consider this - since 1986 there has been a steady increase in the number of states that allow their residents to carry concealed weapons for defensive purposes (see HERE for a animated timeline of CCW laws by state). It seems at first glance, that as more and more law-abiding citizens have been afforded the choice of whether to carry a firearm or not, the national crime rate has gone down.

I realize you could use the same logic to "determine" that the increase in the number of FM radio stations over the last 50 years is responsible for the increase in the number of cancer cases reported over that same time period, but the fact that this relationship between CCW laws and the rate of violent crime is entirely ignored by the gun control lobby speaks volumes.

I'll see you all tomorrow. Disc #4 from Season 2 of "24" arrived in the mail today from Netflix. I'll be busy.