Saturday, July 30, 2005

Christmas in July


Justice Dept. accuses city of voting rights violations


In a lawsuit filed yesterday, the Justice Department alleges that the city and its poll workers interfered with voters' rights by "improperly influencing, coercing, or ignoring the ballot choices of limited English proficient Hispanic and Asian-American voters" and of generally "abridging" their voting rights by treating Hispanic and Asian voters disrespectfully at the polls and by failing to provide adequate translation services for them.

That is outrageous!...OUT-rageous!!! Call the ACLU! Get Henry Waxman on the phone - this calls for a special Congressional investigative committee! Clearly these blatant acts of racial prejudice and intolerance were the work of a bunch of red-state, right-wing fascists just looking to steal another election, right?



The US Department of Justice accused Mayor Thomas M. Menino and the City of Boston yesterday of denying the rights of Hispanic and Asian-American voters with limited English skills, and said it would seek federal oversight of city elections until 2007.

I don't know where to begin. Chalk up another victory for compassionate liberalism.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Gang Violence in Lynn? I'm Stunned!

Boy, 10, Shot In Gang-Related Shooting

LYNN, Mass. -- A young boy was hospitalized after being shot inside a Lynn home Thursday night.


Authorities said the child was not the intended target. They said they suspect gang activity involving two warring gang factions. One gang member lives on the street and investigators said he was the likely target of the shooting.

In related news, State Senator Jarrett Barrios introduced legislation today that would allow the police to begin confiscating cars from sober people with clean driving records in order to reduce the number of drunk driving-related fatalities in the Commonwealth.

Senator Ted Kennedy was unavailable for comment.

Anyone Notice a Trend Here?

It looks as though Supreme Court Justice David Souter now has some company in the exclusive "Let's Piss Off New Hampshire Club".

PLAINFIELD, N.H. (AP) Libertarians upset about a U.S Supreme Court ruling on land-takings are taking aim at a second Supreme Court justice with property in the state.

Libertarians object to a recent decision that allowed a Connecticut city to take land by eminent domain and turn it over to a private developer. The New Hampshire Libertarian Party is asking the town to use the same technique to take U.S Supreme Court Justice Stephen G. Breyer's 167-acre Plainfield vacation home to turn it into a park.

Funny how these two Supreme Court justices, who have no problem trampling on the rights and freedoms of property owners, own property themselves in New Hampshire, one of the most freedom-friendly states in the country.

And while we're on the subject...

If, in fact, Massachusetts is such a fabulous, idyllic vacation destination, as the Massachusetts Office of Travel and Tourism would have you believe, why on earth would Governor Romney also choose to own a vacation home across the border in New Hampshire?

Lake Winnipasakee (sic) - Governor
Mitt Romneys' (sic) Summer Home.
(Photo: Angela Rowlings)

Why, just think of all the property tax revenue he's denying the poor, starving schoolchildren of Massachsuetts.

You Naive Little Peons

Just because you pay the city for goods or services doesn't mean they're under any obligation to give you anything in return. Does this really come as that much of a surprise to anyone? OK, I can understand some folks getting upset over this, if they're in the process of moving to Boston.

As if moving into a new pad on the narrow streets of Beacon Hill and the North End weren't hard enough, the delicate task is being made more difficult by scofflaw drivers who ignore temporary "no parking" signs and lax city enforcement, officials acknowledge.


The city charges $36 for two cardboard signs which must be posted 48 hours prior to a move. The signs can be purchased only by a licensed moving company, which costs customers an additional fee of up to $80.

Boston Transportation Department workers and Boston police can ticket or tow vehicles that park in spots marked by the temporary signs but BTD officials admit violators are often overlooked.

"The permit is meant to give them an opportunity to get a parking space. It's not a guarantee," BTD spokesman Jim Mansfield said. "We will ticket cars there but we can't guarantee that a vehicle will be towed."

We can, however, guarantee that you'll never see your money again. But, thank you for your prompt payment, regardless. Now, run along.

I'd like to see this articles closing quote from Greg Keane, owner of Titan Moving, serve as the inspiration for the newest Massachusetts state motto:

Massachusetts: Just TRY to play by the rules...we dare ya.

Ask And You Shall Receive

The Boston Globe message board poses this question this today:

What do you think about these recent anti-crime efforts in Boston? Are they enough? Are they effective? Do you think something more needs to be done, and if so, what?

Much like yesterday's letter from a whiny, anti-gun crybaby being almost "too easy to fisk", this one is almost "to obvious to warrant a reply". So, naturally, I replied.

This should provide some quality comic relief for a Friday morning.

The Neighborhood Bully

Mayor puts on $queeze: Challenger to fund run with house

Backed into a fund-raising corner by what she called heavy-handed campaign tactics by Mayor Thomas M. Menino, challenger Maura Hennigan said she is betting the house – literally – on her longshot bid.

"Because of the chill factor that he has sent out, people who have contributed to me historically have been called and talked not contribute," Hennigan said.

As I've said before, I doubt you could slip a piece of tissue paper into the ideological gap between the two, but I would love to see Mumbles beaten at his own game. Unfortunately, for that to happen, City Councilor Hennigan needs to come out swinging...HARD! That's how you beat a bully.

You don't debate, you attack.

Hmmmm...I wonder if she's looking to hire a campaign manager.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Victory in Brookline (kinda)

Following up on this post (and others) on the efforts of Brookline resident and US Army reservist, David Bardfield, to get a License to Carry Own a Firearm from the Brookline Police Department, I am pleased to post this bit of "good news" from the Brookline TAB (sent to me by reader Ham Slam - thanks, man).

A Brookline Army reservist who was initially denied a gun license by Brookline Police can head to target practice after all.

Army Specialist David Bardfield received word last week that the police will issue him the target practice license he had applied for in January, his lawyer, Keith Langer, confirmed.

I guess the police decided all he needed a 200-day "cooling down" period (spit).

"Logic and fairness finally prevailed," Langer said.

"Logic and fairness"? With all due respect, Mr. Langer, I must disagree. The concepts of "logic" and "fairness" were flushed down the toilet in this state a long time ago when it comes to the rights of the citizens to keep and bear arms.

Tell me, in what corner of Bizzaro World is it "fair" to make a law-abiding citizen wait six months for a gun license, and then only issue it to him after he hires a lawyer, at his own expense, to fight the corruption inherent in the system on his behalf?

Earlier this month, Brookline police told Bardfield's lawyer that "additional material" was necessary for the license. This week, Langer said it was later determined that that "material" was not necessary.

Translation: "We actually did inform him additional material was necessary, before we informed him it wasn't."

Christ, that sounds familiar. Senator Kerry, call your office.

Anyway, congratulations, David. Keep 'em in the x-ring.

And now, presenting the winner of the "Clueless Whiny Little Douchenut of the Year Award".

From the Letters to the Editor of the Brookline TAB. This one almost qualifies as "Too dumb to fisk".

Zuckernik: Gun permit for Bardfield not necessary

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Of the many good things that can be said of Brookline, perhaps Keith Langer said it best. [Brookline Police] are known to be "somewhat obstructionist in their [gun] licensing practices."

Spoken like a truly tolerant "progressive". You see nothing wrong with the majority trampling on the rights of the minority, so long as the ideology of the minority in question runs contrary to the liberal elite holding the reins of legislative, executive, and judicial power in the community you live in.

Maybe this is the reason Brookline's rate of violence is as low as it is.

Yes, and it's obviously the same reason the state of Vermont, with no licensing requirements whatsoever, is such a blood-soaked warzone these days.

Guns can be stolen, sold, used purposefully, accidentally - they are not water bottles to be carried around indiscriminately.

Are you referring to the "indiscriminate" FBI background check that Mr. Bardfield and others in Massachusetts have to go through prior to be issued a gun permit? Or the "indiscriminate" filing of his fingerprints with the State Police? Or maybe you're talking about the additional "indiscriminate" criminal background check he'll have to undergo prior to purchasing a firearm from a federally licensed dealer in the Commonwealth?

Tell you what, jackass, put a loaded handgun on the table next to a loaded water bottle and wait to see which one first leaps up from the table on its own accord and starts indiscriminately killing innocent people standing nearby.

I'd bet this numbnuts doesn't even own a hammer out of fear he'd start clubbing his neighbors at random.

They should be carried by law enforcement people and any others that the authorities think it is necessary for protection and security.

Like the spoiled, rich children of Hall of Fame baseball players?

And why, pray tell, should the police in Brookline even carry guns in the first place? You just stated two paragraphs ago that Brookline is a veritable crime-free Utopia. Surely, you'd advocate for the disarming of the police as well. You know, for the children and all.

The United States Army allowed Army Specialist David Bardfield to carry a pistol only when he was on specific duties. If they thought he needed target practice, let us hope they would have demanded he spend time on the range.

God forbid an American citizen should choose to engage in legal activity without first being ordered by the government to do so. I thought you whiny liberal-types supported CHOICE?

Can't say I'm surprised to see this mentality emanating from the "progressive" town of Brookline where the people are more than happy to have the government dictate to them where and when they can park their cars on public streets in front of their own homes, and how large and heavy their trash cans are permitted to be before they risk being punished by their benevolent overlords.

Let him use his sister's license in Boston (Wonder why she needed one?) where the rate of licenses to people must be a lot higher and the number of shootings still higher.

It's evident to me now that I have engaged in a battle of wits with an unarmed man. This is quite probably the dumbest, most ignorant piece of garbage I've ever read. "Let him use sister's license"? Gee, why didn't he think of that? Um...I dunno...maybe because it would be a FELONY to do so?

And damn all those licensed crackheads and gangbangers in Roxbury, Dorchester, and Mattapan! Don't they realize they could have their gun permits revoked if they keep killing people?

Burton Zuckernik

Beacon Street

Burton, wake up. You need help.

Yeah, you know something? On second thought, that was too stupid to fisk. Oh well, what's done is done.

And This Happened in Massachusetts?

And a mere 25 miles from Meninostan? Toto, we're definitely not in Boston anymore.

In Southborough:

The Southborough Police Department kicked off its sixth annual Junior Police Academy on Monday. The weeklong academy is offered to kids ages 12 to 15 in two sessions over the summer, this week and next week, and funded by community policing grants.


"I like the feeling of being in control," the teen said after participating in a re-enactment of a felony stop.

She had the chance to sit in a real police cruiser and pull over a "felon" played by a volunteer, point a gun and command him to exit the car, drop his keys and put his hands on his head, all under the direction of an instructor.

And in Northborough (same article):

At the Northborough Police Department yesterday, 12 Civilian Youth Academy cadets clad in navy T-shirts and wind pants sat in the conference room.


During the weeklong academy, offered both this week and next, kids ages 11 to 14 learned about motor vehicle stops, criminal law, report writing, narcotics, canine units, how to use a baton, marching, self-defense, and even shooting a police-issued gun at the firing range.

It is a rare occasion, indeed, when I get to say "I'm stunned", and actually mean it.

Famous (Almost) Last Words

This one ranks right up there with, "Here, hold my beer."

As the argument escalated, John Kurceba told her to "just get the sword bitch," she told police.

Pest Control

You've all been there. At least, those of you who live in my neighborhood have.

You're sitting down for dinner with the family, or in the middle of watching a really good movie, or doing something during which you'd reeeeally rather not be interrupted, when it happens.

No, I'm not talking about tele-marketers, but a creature for more insidious - the most annoying parasite to ever see the light of day.

This post is being provided as a public service to anyone who is tired of answering their doorbell only to find some weirdo on the porch asking for a signature to support a local candidate's effort to get on the ballot for an upcoming election, or asking for a contribution to the happy-day, feel-good, do-nothing "cause du jour".

Rather that waste your time asking questions of the unwashed individual in front of you to determine whether you will sign your name to anything, just present that person with this...

The Massachusetts Volunteer Campaign Worker "Front Porch" Quiz

For those of you blessed enough to live outside the Bay State, you have my permission to alter this quiz, as necessary, to fit your individual needs. You can thank me later.

Totally, Dude

Please don't let this story destroy your faith in the District Court system here in Massachusetts.

Court clerk busted in wild chase

A Dorchester District Court assistant clerk magistrate loitering in a neighborhood under surveillance for drug trafficking allegedly led cops on a high-speed chase Monday night, nearly running down a child in the middle of a street.

A subsequent K-9 sweep of magistrate Harvey Buckley's unregistered, uninsured 1997 Nissan Pathfinder did not turn up narcotics, police said. But during their bid to pull him over along eight residential streets in Mattapan - at speeds allegedly hitting 50 mph - Buckley was throwing "stuff" out the SUV's windows, police said.

Money quote:

"The police report is very ugly, but I'm totally not guilty," Buckley, who has worked for the trial court for 26 years, told the Herald.

Fer sure.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

File Under: P.I.M.Y.P.W.U.D.O.D.R.U.R.I.B.

(formerly known as: Stupid Dead Kids)

It seems there are people out there who stumble across this blog and seem to have a difficult time allowing reality to enter their sheltered spheres of existence.

So, in the interest of protecting their delicate sensibilities, I am renaming these posts (or at least this one), "Poor innocent misguided young people whose untimely death occurred as the direct result of unintelligent, reckless, and/or illegal behavior".

Note: The word "accident" appears five (5) times in this story from the Billerica Minuteman. An "accident", my friends, is when one of my three-year-old daughters doesn't quite make it to the potty on time. This dipshit flat-out killed himself.

Police have cited drag-racing, extreme speed and alcohol as the most likely causes of a fatal two-car accident early Wednesday morning on Bridle Road Billerica Police Lt. Commander Jack Glavin said.

Charles Ware, 17, of 36 Hilltop Road, was pronounced dead at the scene at 76 Bridle Road after authorities found him thrown from his late model Ford Explorer, Glavin said.


And, just out of curiosity, what's a 17-year-old do for work to make the payments on a "late model Ford Explorer"? That's a lot of grocery bagging.

"I think what this boils down to is a case of very bad judgment," Glavin said.

That's putting it gently, Jack.

UPDATE (7/28): The Boston Herald has these gems today.

Yesterday, dozens of friends stopped by the crash scene, leaving behind flowers, a wooden cross and a marijuana pipe.

The future of America, ladies and gentlemen.

"(Ware) would do anything for anybody," said Joshua Cote, 16, of Billerica. "It doesn't matter what they were doing, because he's gone now."

Look, Josh. I'd hate to shatter this little bubble of idiocy you've encapsulated yourself in to protect you from all the gnarly bummers of reality, but it sure as hell does fucking matter what your moron friend was doing.

Are all kids your age as fucking stupid and ignorant as you seem to be here? The way you kids can just write off the death of a friend as merely being part of the cost of being a teenager today is sickening.

Now Where Did I Put That Horse?

And so the beating of the old dead horse continues:

Thugs terrify Allston Jew with swastika on her door

A disabled Allston resident is fearing for her safety thanks to vandals carving ominous swastikas on her front door.

"I’m American. I’m 38 years in this country," said Yaffa Zaafarani, 60. "We are very honest, loving people. We don’t believe in hating other people."

It's a shame your elected officials don't share that outlook, and view you as a threat to society who can't be trusted to provide for your own security in the most efficient means possible. Hint: you might want to keep that in mind come November.

Her brother, Isaac Zaafarani, has shrugged off his share of anti-Semitic comments over the years, but is worried for his sister’s safety.

"This is the worst thing you could do to a lonely, very sick woman," said Zaafarani, 50.

Sorry, Isaac, but that prize goes to Massachusetts Attorney General, Tom Reilly, who has done everything in his power (and then some) to ensure that the disabled and elderly people in the Commonwealth are not able to purchase or use handguns to defend themselves against the threats of violence experienced by the most vulnerable residents of our city on a daily basis.

That's what they call "common sense" 'round these parts.

"Once a swastika is put up, the next thing is violence. That’s why I’m worried," Isaac Zaafarani said.

Well, you know that. And I know that. But tell that to the police as you attempt to get them to grant you permission to buy a gun and see what they have to say on that matter. Another hint: it rhymes with "Go screw".

And should you and your sister decide to pursue this option, you'd better leave a note on your front door for your neighborhood white supremacists asking them not to assault you until sometime this November while you wait for the city to lose process your gun permit application. Oh, and I hope she can accurately shoot a .38-caliber revolver one-handed in double-action mode at a target 21' away.

Mayor Tom Menino this week was “outraged” by the act and said Boston is no place for hate.

Huh? Oh, I'm sorry. Did you say something, Tom?

On a somewhat related topic...

Senator Gasbag Speaks...Unfortunately.

Incidentally, did you know that the name "Chappaquiddick" is derived from an old Indian expression meaning "over-bloated hypocritical windbag"?

Kennedy: Supreme Court nominee must support rights of disabled

"The basic question the American people are entitled to know is where this justice is going to be, on whose side is he going to be," said Kennedy. "There has to be a sense that he will be on the side of those who have been excluded, of those who have been left out ... and that he or she is going to say we are not going back."

Good question. So tell us, whose side are you on, asshole?

You've dedicated a significant portion of your "illustrious" career to denying some of the most vulnerable members of society the means to defend themsleves from those who would choose to cause them serious, physical harm - harm inflicted against said individuals, at times, based solely on their race, religion, or sexual orientation.

Your disgraced name is like a rash covering the pages and pages of legislation, which you have both sposnsored and voted for, that has served only to restrict the rights of and disarm the law-abiding elderly, infirmed, and disabled citizens of this country, while allowing the violent criminal element to follow their chosen career path with little fear of retribution from their intended victims...or the state.

Where's the compassion, Ted?

It's For the Children

NH kids have it best, national survey says

CONCORD — New Hampshire ranks first in a national ranking of the well-being of children, although the study shows increases in children living in poverty and among teen high school dropouts who do not have jobs.


Ellen Shemitz, president of the Children's Alliance of New Hampshire, was excited by the figures, but said it's more important to her to figure out why the state attained top rankings, what it can do to stay there and how to improve deficient areas.

She noted New Hampshire ranked best in health issues.

"That's not a surprise, because if you look at some of the policy and legislation that's been passed, you'll see our state, our Legislature, really has made a significant commitment to child safety," Shemitz said.

She cited a child seat belt law, bike helmet law and giving the Department of Health and Human Services authority to expand newborn screening programs.

What's that? No mention that the New Hampshire state legislature has also passed a law calling for "shall-issue" concealed weapons permits for any law-abiding parent who chooses to carry a firearm to protect his or her child from harm? Hey, I thought it was "progressive" to be pro-choice.

You'd think that all the pro-choice lawmakers in Massachusetts would want to consider similar laws for concealed carry permits for the law-abiding citizens of the Commonwealth, you know, what with it being "for the children" and all. Surely, that would be more than sufficient to bump us up five slots into the top spot on that list.

State rankings here.

It is interesting (though far from surprising) that New Hampshire and Vermont should top the list in this survey. Why, if you listen to the gun control harpies over at the Brady Center for the Prevention of the Private Ownership of All Firearms (not sure why you'd want to do that, but if you did), you'd think that scary "assault weapons" and evil .50-caliber rifles would just be bouncing around the streets of Manchester and Montpelier like tumbleweed, firing indiscriminately into crowds of helpless schoolchildren.

One For the "_____s Cause Crime" Files

First came the all-too familiar battlecry of the liberal gun-grabbers, Guns cause crime! Then, we had the New York City Transit Police telling us that iPods cause crime. And the latest, you ask?

High gas prices cause crime.

Pump And Runs Increasing At Gas Stations

BOSTON -- High prices at the pumps are fueling a rash of so-called "pump and runs," in which a driver fills up his tank and takes off without paying.


Now, there are no more pump and pays at the station. Customers must either use a credit card or pay first and then fill up.

"I am usually on the road for business. I am in a hurry. If there is bad weather and I am headed to an appointment, I don't feel like walking all the way in. It's an inconvenience," one motorist said.


So now, having to actually pay for a product is an "inconvenience"?

Not wanting to get out of your car for fear of getting rained on is justification for theft now?

So, if there's no full-service gas station nearby, or a credit card-operated gas pump, then it's now OK to just drive off without paying? You had to get out of your fucking car to pump the gas, you lazy pussy! How much more "inconvenient" would it be to drag your fat ass over to the cashier's window and pay for the fucking gas you just put into your car?

Or is the menial task of pumping your own gas below you, your royal highness? Why, I mean, that is the work of commoners and peasants!

Massachusetts Senator John "That's Not My SUV" Kerry was unavailable for comment.

Welcome to Massachusetts, Comrade

No news here. Move along.

Last week, as one of the great rituals of democracy in America -- the filling of a Supreme Court vacancy -- was getting underway, democracy in Massachusetts was nearly getting mugged.

Read the whole thing. Not much else to add on this end, but have I mentioned, "Fuckers!" lately?

(link via reader e-mail - thanks, Lee)

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Another "Good Kid", No Doubt

I cannot wait to read the inevitable follow-up to this story about one Jason Mahoney, an ex-dirtbag who decided to open fire on a couple New Bedford police officers during a traffic stop at 2:30 in the morning.

No doubt, we'll be treated to all sorts of bullshit from his mother or his aunt about what a good "kid" he was and how he was "just starting to turn his troubled life around". That, of course, will be immediately followed by accusatory wailing about how the trigger-happy police are to blame for his death for not simply shooting the gun out of his hands or for failing to negotiate with the bullets in mid-air and persuade them to change trajectories.

NEW BEDFORD, Mass. -- A Fairhaven man died after exchanging gunfire with police during a traffic stop early Tuesday morning.

Police said 22-year-old Jason Mahoney pulled out a handgun and started firing at the two officers who pulled him over on the Fairhaven Bridge around 2:30 a.m.

The officers returned fire, and Mahoney ran behind a nearby gas station.

A special response team equipped with heavy body armor was called in to pursue him. He was found dead three hours later in the tall grass behind the station.

While we're on the topic of gun-wielding dirtbags, let's reflect upon the wise words of the good Reverend Don Muhammad of Boston, describing the deceased's fellow "ammunition redistribution activists" back in Dorchester and Roxbury.

These young people are not bad.



UPDATE (7/27): OK, so I thought this would come from his mother or his aunt. I was close. Today's follow-up comment on the shooting comes from Mr. Mahoney's uncle, New Bedford City Councilor Leo Pimental. And, for the record, the phrase "good kid" wasn't used...least not yet.

"This is a tragedy that happened on both sides of the aisle. A tragedy for my wife and my family, and a tragedy for the police officers involved. They're going to look at things in a whole different light," Mr. Pimental said.

A "tragedy for the police officers involved"? Is that because they executed the duties of their chosen career in a courageous and professional manner? Gee, how "tragic". Further more, should this incident cause the police department in New Bedford to "look at things in a whole different light", let's hope that epiphany includes buying more rifles and body armor for their patrol units.

UPDATE: Reader Bob G. sends this link via the comments section.

Friends painted him as a responsible young man who financially cared for his mother and sister following the untimely death of his 39-year-old father, David W. Mahoney.


"He got into mix-ups," (former neighbor Bryan) Giusti explained. "He had a side to him that was a little on the edge but he wasn't violent."

Let's learn a little more about this responsible, non-violent young man.

He dropped out of New Bedford High School in his junior year...

Very responsible.

In May of 2002, Mr. Mahoney was found guilty of 17 counts of forgery for writing false checks, court documents show.

A veritable pillar of moral fortitude.

Roughly one year later, police arrested him for engaging in a sex act with a prostitute in the Sacred Heart Cemetery in New Bedford.

I believe you can now earn a merit badge in the Cub Scouts for doing that.

Then in December 2003, he was found guilty of several counts of assault and battery and witness intimidation after he allegedly hurled a portable heater and drawer of knives at his 19-year-old girlfriend, Meagan Frias, court documents said.

Just like all the non-violent people I know.

Going back to his uncle's earlier statement that this was a "tragedy", I'll say this. The only "tragedy" here is the unarguable fact that Mr. Mahoney should have been behind bars in the early morning hours of July 26th and not driving around the streets of New Bedford with a handgun in his waistband.

He failed to show up for a probation hearing in March 2005 and also failed to attend domestic violence counseling, court documents said.

Score another "victory" for compassionate Bay State liberalism. The Dukakis legacy lives on.

UPDATE: The girlfriend speaks:

"I don't believe he killed himself," said Michele Pacheco, who identified herself as Mahoney's girlfriend. "I really honestly think they pulled him over because he's a white kid. He was most likely wearing his bandana. Young kid, nice car, rims, tinted windows. Something's wrong. Something's wrong."

You're damn right, something was wrong! An armed criminal was driving around at 2:30 in the morning instead of sleeping behind bars where he should have been!

Wake up, Michele. Your "boyfriend" was scum. I'm real sorry about his dad dying - I wouldn't wish that fate upon my worst enemy. But tragedies such as that befall countless people in our communities everyday. It's hardly justification for turning to a life of violent crime.

OK, That's Hot

I have GOT to start leaving comments a bit more frequently over at SondraK's place.

Or copy that pic, I suppose, and put it on my desktop. Now, if you'll...uh...excuse me, I've got to..uh...I've got work to do. Yeah, that's it.

Gratuitous Rush Lyrics Post of the Week

The earth beneath us starts to tremble
With the spreading of a low black cloud
A thunderous roar shakes the air
Like the whole world exploding

Scorching blast of golden fire
As it slowly leaves the ground
Tears away with a mighty force
The air is shattered by the awesome sound

From the album "Signals" - 1982

What's In Your Nightstand?

OK, I'll Bite

Jay over at Toys in the Attic tagged me with this one, so I'd best reply, lest I be stricken with seven years of bad luck. Hell, I've lived in Meningrad for the last 13 years, what's another seven?

What's in your nightstand?

1. Well, for starters (with expletives deleted), an empty DAC Sportsafe pistol safe, which I purchased last December in anticipation of the City of Boston someday issuing me a License to Carry Own a Firearm. For those of you keeping score at home, it's been 90 days since I handed them my application. They're still "working on it".

Anyway, continuing with this silly exercise:

2. General Electric AM/FM clock/radio - the same one I bought right before heading off to college in the fall of 1984. This thing just won't die. It has outlived every other electronic device I own/have owned. That includes three (3) CD players, two (2) Sony Playstations, and one (1) 27" Sony XBR Trinitron television.

3. Big book of word and number puzzles

4. Mini-Maglite

5. Approximately $1.63 in loose change, mostly nickels and pennies.

6. Nail clippers

7. Probably two or three guitar picks (Fender medium)

8. One (1) "Peace Through Superior Firepower" pin (see here) - for the range bag...someday (grrrr!)

9. A slew of old receipts and ATM slips, which for some strange, inexplicable reason, I am unable to throw away.

10. A small handful of plastic "pirate's treasure" coins that one of my daughters enjoys sliding through the crack at the top of the drawer.

There, wasn't that exciting?

And now I'll follow Jed's lead:

The usual blogmeme thing is that I'm supposed to "tag" 5 other bloggers with it. Well ... nevermind. If you're a blogger and you haven't done it yet, consider yourself tagged, and post away.

What's That Burning Smell?

No need to panic, folks. Put away the fire extinguishers. It's just the mayor blowing smoke out of his ass again.

Just a quick follow-up to this post from yesterday, telling of the Rev. Bruce Wall's plans to maintain a 24-hour vigil in the streets of Dorchester in an effort to stand up to the violent thugs running rampant in his neighborhood and reclaim the streets for the people of Boston.

He invited city leaders and Mayor Tom Menino to join him.

"We want to work together on any means that we can to tell the bad guys that they are not welcome in our neighborhood," Menino said.

With ALL due respect, fuck you, Tom. You and the rest of your liberal, big-government, feel-good, do-nothing buddies in the state legislature and judiciary have done everything short of placing chocolate mints on the pillows for these "misunderstood youths" who continue to terrorize the residents of your city with relative impunity.

you want to convey a message of "not welcome" to these scumbags? What do you say you let the people of your city take responsibility for their own safety, instead of having to rely on the mercy of armed thugs for their very lives? We've seen how well that works, haven't we?

...the violent Semont Road mugging of a 17-year-old Eagle Scout, who was knifed in the back after giving up his money to his assailants.

Just "give them what they want", right? No, thanks.

Memo to City Councilor (and 2005 Boston mayoral candidate) Maura Hennigan:

If, in fact, you are serious about taking out Menino this November, do yourself a big favor. Get a sleeping bag and join Reverend Wall and the rest of his supporters in this effort. No camera crews. No security detail. Trust me on this one, the people in these neighborhoods will pay attention.

Or, you could sit on your ass like the Mayor is choosing to do here and issue hollow, grammatically-impaired press releases.

Your call.

Crappy Kick-Ass 80's Music

I grabbed this CD on my way out the door this morning. It had been a long time since I last listened to it - WAY too long.

"Down on the Floor"
by The Zulus

First thing when I get home tonight, I'm gonna dig my faded Zulus t-shirt out of the box in the basement it's lived in for the last few years and give it some quality wear-time.

Monday, July 25, 2005

I'll Bring the S'Mores

All I have to say here is, once again, you just can't make this stuff up. And, yes, be warned. The Drink Advisory is in full effect.

Pastor taking it to the streets

Vowing to take back Codman Square, a Dorchester pastor plans to live in the neighborhood for a week - camping out in the street if necessary.


Wall will host a public meeting tomorrow and plans to occupy Lyndhurst Street for a week beginning Sunday.


Lyndhurst Street was the scene of a Fourth of July party that turned violent when gunmen opened fire, wounding four and killing one. On nearby Fuller Street, a young man was shot and killed on June 16.

Here's the money quote. Please swallow all beverages before reading any further, lest your keyboard should suffer a premature death by drowning.

"If I can get the mayor or city councilors or some state reps who would be willing to come and live with some of us, that would be phenomenal," he said.

"Phenomenal"? Try "friggin' delusional"!

While I admire the pastor's intentions here, he's got a major screw loose if he thinks Mayor Menino is gonna drag out the old Coleman sleeping bag and camp out in the 'hood with him. Hell, anyone who thinks Menino even OWNS a sleeping bag is living in some kind of alternate, hallucinogen-based reality.

Does anyone think Mumbles honestly gives a flying fuck about the shootings taking place in these neighborhoods on a near-daily basis? If he did, he might actually consider taking steps to allow the people of Roxbury, Mattapan, and Dorchester to defend themselves against the violent thugs who have taken over that sizeable chunk of the city.

Instead, he's thrown his (considerable) weight behind every feel-good, do-nothing gun control measure to come down the Pike, the end results of which (obvious to anyone with two functional brain cells in their heads) have been the disarming of the law-abiding citizenry and the empowering of the already-well-armed crackhead, carjacker, and rapist populations.

Besides, in his mind, he's already got all the minority votes from these neighborhoods counted in his column for the upcoming mayoral election in November. Do you honestly think he'd risk getting his fat ass shot at for something that he already considers his?

Wake up, Padre.

File Under "What Was He Thinking?"

Romney's gaffes quickly derail publicity ride on T

Gov. Mitt Romney's common-man subway ride to tout security turned into a PR nightmare for him and his $350,000 image team yesterday after he flubbed the price of a T token and was heckled by the Beacon Hill "cat lady" who told him to "get a job."

Apparently, his advance team forgot to clear the T of commoners and riff-raff before he and the Lt. Governor went on their "big" subway adventure.

"A buck," Romney replied when a reporter asked what a token costs. When told it is $1.25, the governor chuckled and flipped a quarter into the crowd.

Minutes later, Heidi Erickson, who once kept sick and dead cats in her Beacon Hill home, yelled at Romney: "You killed my cats."

The gaffes come just days after the Herald exposed Romney's 13-person, $350,000 "advance team," a cadre of taxpayer-funded political operatives who prep the governor for public appearances.

Romney rode the Red Line one stop from Park Street to Downtown Crossing as a "thank you" to T employees and to calm fears.

Park Street to Downtown Crossing? Are you serious, Mitt?

That's pretty weak.

You Know What They Say

If it smells like bullshit, looks like bullshit, and tastes like bullshit, well...

A veteran Boston cop from a proud blue line of police officers, among them a state trooper brother who was murdered on the job, is facing charges he physically abused his live-in girlfriend.

But less than three hours after Sandra Swain, 33, had Detective Albert Charbonnier Jr., 44, arrested in their apartment for assault and battery in the early morning hours July 15, she swore out a shakily scribbled statement on Boston Police Department stationery saying, "I am not in fear for my safety," according to documents at Dorchester District Court.

Of course, had she stated that she feared for her safety, she could have had a domestic restraining order filed against her cop boyfriend here. That, thanks to our "most effective gun laws in the country", would render him immediately ineligible to possess any type of firearm or ammunition in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts - and we can't go around disarming members of the privileged classes now, can we?

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Home Again

Yippee (he says with the enthusiasm of a coffee table).

Damn though, but I've got a shitload to catch up on. No time right now. I did grab a couple copies of the Herald while I was away, and whadda you know? There were "Massachusetts Gun Control Success Stories" in them thar pages.

Shocking. I know.

More later.

Friday, July 15, 2005

Must...Resist...Urge... kick off my vacation by making cold, heartless, insensitive, sarcastic, mean-spirited comments about this. The rest of you callous bastards, on the other hand, can have at it in the comments section. This is a free speech zone, after all.

SPANAWAY, Wash. --A 12-year-old boy who was firing bottle rockets at cars was chased into traffic Friday by an angry driver and killed by another car, authorities said.

Have a good week, everyone. I'm off to Maine with the family for a little R&R. First stop, the Yarmouth Clam Festival. Mmmm...chowdah.

Regular blogging to resume Sunday, July 24th.


WOW, Two in One Week

Though, given their affiliation with the Boston Catholic Archdiocese, I guess I shouldn't be too surprised by a story like this.

So it was this holy event that the Rev. Robert Reed had in mind when he sidled up to little Abby Gordon yesterday on the set of "WOW," Boston Catholic Television's new children's show, and asked what the greatest thing was that happened to her this year.

Previous post from the "Department of Unfortunate Anagrams" here.

For those of you reading this who still have no clue what I'm talking about, here's a little background information to keep you abreast of things.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Hide the Breakables!

Our good friends at the Brookline Police Department are at it again. Behold, gentle readers, the joys of discretionary firearms licensing (aka: common-sense gun control).

From the Brookline TAB:

Reservist takes shot at gun delay

In the two years since he's been in the military reserves, the United States Army has trusted David Bardfield to carry and fire a weapon.

But the town of Brookline doesn't seem to have the same faith in the 28-year-old Army specialist.

No shit. No bloody shit. The town of Brookline barely trusts its residents to wipe their own ass without first declaring their bathroom an EPA Superfund clean-up site, and obtaining the proper permits, for Christ's sake. How could anybody expect the town to trust them with (gasp!) a handgun? Why, you could poke your eye out with one of those things.

Bardfield recently completed military police investigator course work at Fort Leonard Wood in Missouri. Since 2003, he has been issued a military firearm on various occasions, including a handgun at Fort Devens in Ayer, where he worked on patrol. He also patrolled an Army base in Italy, where he was authorized to carry a pistol when he made his rounds.

But Bardfield has been waiting nearly four months for the town to grant him a license to participate in target practice to help sharpen his skills.

"It's very frustrating," said Bardfield. "I just want my license."

Yes, this is not about being issued a permit to carry a concealed weapon in public, but a permit to merely own a gun and store it in a locked container in one's own home.

Oh, but don't worry, the police have very good reasons for arbitrarily denying this upstanding, law-abiding citizen, and military reservist, his constitutional rights.

Bardfield said police told him last month that because his name appeared in a police incident report when he was a teenager, he is being denied a license - even though he was not arrested at the time.

He was 14 years old when he was picked up by police with a group of kids near Larz Anderson Park after one of the boys he was with pointed a loaded BB gun at a car. Bardfield said he was taken to the station and waited for his parents to pick him up.

Read those two paragraphs again. Let it sink in, because it gets worse. I always does.

But Bardfield said police told him last month that because the boy with the BB gun is now a Level 3 sex offender, his gun license was being denied "on the grounds I associate myself with felons."

Yes, friends, if anyone you went to junior high school with turned to a life of crime at any time after you "associated" with him (read: rode on the same fucking school bus with), you are now prohibited from owning a firearm in the Town of Brookline.

It's "for the children".

I don't know why the police don't just drag Mr. Bardfield's ass into court and charge him now for the murders they think he's going to commit should he ever get his gun license. They seem to have their airtight case all wrapped up and ready to present to the District Attorney's office.

Police told the TAB earlier this week, however, that Bardfield's license was not denied. Instead, they said his application was incomplete.

Why would that be, I wonder? Perhaps, he forgot to include several hundred dollars worth of memorabilia autographed by a certain local baseball legend.

Brookline Police Capt. John O'Leary would not say what about his application was incomplete, but said police sent a letter to his lawyer on Friday letting him know what he must do to complete the application.

Bardfield's lawyer, Keith Langer, believes his client has fulfilled all license requirements.

"His [the chief's] position is that the application is incomplete, and it is our position that the state requirements have been fully satisfied as well as those additionally proposed by the Brookline Police Department," said Langer.


Fuckers, fuckers, fuckers.

Pardon my language, but I'm too pissed to type too much more than that. Read the whole thing. Just don't say I didn't warn you about those breakable objects. I'll close with this quote from Mr. Bardfield's attorney.

"They [the Brookline Police] have a fairly well-established record" [of making it hard for people to get gun licenses], said Langer, and said the police are known to be "somewhat obstructionistic in their licensing practices."

Did I mention..."fuckers"?

A Brief Thank You Note

OK, I know I said earlier that blogging would be light over the next couple of days, but it's hard to stand by that statement when the local papers insist on dropping stories like this one in my lap.

This article definitely qualifies as "too tough to excerpt" so I'll have to post the whole thing (in the event the link gets archived in the future). Self-explanatory highlights are, of course, by yours truly and are to be followed by cries of "Dumbass!" or "I'm so shocked!", as the reader deems appropriate.

Gunfire at air station leads to 4 arrests; Police say random shots could have struck officers

The Patriot Ledger

ROCKLAND - Bullets ricocheted off the ground in front of them and struck nearby trees as police officers traipsed through the woods at the former South Weymouth Naval Air Station in a late-night search for people firing a gun.

The search led to the arrests of four men who allegedly were drinking and shooting indiscriminately into the woods, Rockland police Lt. Barry Ashton said.

At about 11:15 p.m. Tuesday, a Forest Street resident reported hearing gunshots in the woods across from his house, Ashton said.

When police officers Larry Buiel and Richard Novio arrived, they walked about a mile into the woods and onto the air base property, Ashton said.

As the officers approached a clearing, they "could hear people talking and the gunshots became loud and distinct," he said.

Ashton said several 10-shot volleys were fired near the officers and they "heard projectiles hitting the trees and branches around them ... and ricocheting off the ground in front of them."

Buiel and Novio then shined their flashlights into a clearing and saw five people, one of whom was holding what "appeared to be a shiny object," Ashton said.

The officers noticed several spent .40-caliber shell casings on the ground. Open bottles and cans of beer and several unused boxes of ammunition also littered the clearing, Ashton said.

The five people ran away on a gravel path.

Rockland police called Weymouth police to ask that a dog be brought to the scene.

John Marcella, 26, of 63 Newbridge St., Hingham, emerged from the woods and asserted that he had done nothing wrong and that the loud noises were made by exploding fireworks, Ashton said.

Police arrested Marcella and charged him with trespassing, disturbing the peace, assault by means of a dangerous weapon, malicious destruction of property, drinking in public and unlawful possession of ammunition.

After Weymouth police arrived with a dog, three more people were found in the woods.

William Nickerson, 26, of 166 Hull St., Hingham, was arrested and charged with trespassing, disturbing the peace, assault by means of a dangerous weapon, malicious destruction of property, drinking in public and unlawful possession of ammunition.

Joseph R. Simmons, 26, of 62 Concord St., Rockland, and Kenneth Malloy, 23, of New Bedford were arrested and charged with trespassing and disturbing the peace.

All four men were taken in a Weymouth van to the Rockland police station.

The fifth person being sought has yet to be identified. Police said he will probably be summoned to court and charged with trespassing and disturbing the peace.

"The officers did a great job on this case," Ashton said. "The suspects were allegedly firing a handgun at anything. If they shot in a slightly different direction, the officers could have been hit."

Ashton said Malloy and Simmons were released on bail Tuesday night, and Marcella and Nickerson were arraigned in Hingham District Court yesterday morning.

A dog from the Plymouth County sheriff's department was led into the woods on the air base and "within 10 to 15 minutes" found a SIG Sauer .40-caliber handgun, Ashton said.

Police later determined that the gun had been stolen in Connecticut.

The gun was fired near the east end of the base's east-west runway.

Thanks a fucking lot, guys! It's douchewads like YOU that inspire our legislators to deprive ME of my right to defend myself and my family from, well, douchewads like you.

The cops should have just confiscated the gun and told them to go home - making sure to drive extra-fast and reckless-like.

Whippit, Whippit Good

Well, THIS can only lead to one thing.

WEST HARTFORD, Conn. - An expert in eating disorders collapsed in a supermarket after inhaling propellant from whipped cream cans, according to police.


According to the arrest warrant affidavit, West Hartford police responded to the Farmington Avenue Stop & Shop and found Berzins lying on the floor and bleeding from her head. Berzins, the affidavit says, told police she did not know what happened.

Police interviewed witnesses and collected evidence, then determined that Berzins apparently inhaled from three cans of whipped cream containing nitrous oxide, known as laughing gas, the affidavit says.

Berzins was charged with possession of a restricted substance, criminal mischief and creating a public disturbance. She was released on $500 bail and is to appear in Hartford Superior Court on July 21.

Apparently, Ms. Berzins did not possess a valid Connecticut Whipped Cream License. Stay tuned for calls for stringent whipped cream control from our ever-merciful leaders up on Beacon Hill. If it can happen in Connecticut, it can happen here. That's all the justification they'll need.

I wish I was kidding.

Gratuitous Rush Lyrics Post

Happy Bastille Day!

There's no bread, let them eat cake
There's no end to what they'll take
Flaunt the fruits of noble birth
Wash the salt into the earth

But they're marching to Bastille Day
La guillotine will claim her bloody prize
Free the dungeons of the innocent
The king will kneel and let his kingdom rise

Bloodstained velvet, dirty lace
Naked fear on every face
See them bow their heads to die
As we would bow as they rode by

And we're marching to Bastille Day
La guillotine will claim her bloody prize
Sing, oh choirs of cacophony
The king has kneeled, to let his kingdom rise

Lessons taught but never learned
All around us anger burns
Guide the future by the past
Long ago the mould was cast

For they marched up to Bastille Day
La guillotine claimed her bloody prize
Hear the echoes of the centuries
Power isn't all that money buys

Yeah, Just Like Paul Revere

Only, instead of riding horses to warn villagers of advancing British troops, these "revolutionaries" drive explosive-laden cars into crowds of children - but why argue and bicker over mere semantics?

BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- A suicide bomber blew up a vehicle Wednesday near a U.S. military convoy and large group of Iraqi children in Baghdad, killing 27 people, Iraqi police and hospital officials said.

Iraqi police said most of the dead were children. The attack also left 20 people wounded.

Remember, according to Michael Moore, these "insurgents" in Iraq are just a bunch of courageous, well-intentioned freedom fighters, no different than the men and women who gave their lives fighting for America's independence from England, and giving birth to the richest, most powerful nation in the world.

In another suicide attack, a bomber detonated his explosives late Tuesday inside the al-Kebir Sunni Mosque in the ethnically mixed city of Jalawlah, about 50 miles (80 kilometers) southeast of Baquba, killing two people and wounding 16 others, police said.

Why, that's a hate crime! Now, I'm upset!

And lastly, this oldie but goodie from last December's anti-war [read: anti-American, anti-freedom, anti-liberty, anti-human decency - take your pick] march in the enlightened hamlet of Boston, Massachusetts.

You can't spell "Massachusetts" without "a-s-s-h-a-t".

Yet, the far-left fringe elements of the Democratic party, including a good chunk of the party's leadership in Washington, are still demanding that we respect the rules and standards set forth by the Geneva Convention when dealing with these sub-human animals*. This is simply cluelessness of unfathomable proportion.

I'll tell you this much. Hillary (or whoever the Dem nomination turns out to be) had better start getting in some serious practice at the skeet shooting range if she wants to be in true John Kerry-like form for the 2008 presidential race. For my money, that would be the most entertaining part of the campaign - listening to Hillary explain how she's on the side of the nation's gun owners (and you thought Kerry looked ridiculous in those hunting photo-ops with his fresh-off-the-rack L.L. Bean barn jacket).

To say she and the rest of the country's leftists have a shitload of work ahead of them if they plan on convincing a majority of the voters in this country that today's Democratic party knows what's best for them would be a grave understatement.

* apologies to animals - no offense intended.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Here's One Journalist Who "Gets It"

It's pretty nice to stumble across this kind of honest reporting for a change. A few more stories like this one, and one might think some folks out there are starting to catch on.

City police investigating slaying in pizza parlor

A 24-year-old man was fatally shot Tuesday night inside a Near-Northside pizza parlor.


At the pizza parlor, warnings posted above the entrance include "No Drugs," "No Pets Allowed" and "No Loitering Please."

There also is this one: "No Weapons."

I guess they forgot to put up their "No Murder Allowed" sign.

I'm impressed that the writer of this piece, Kevin O'Neal, actually made the effort to emphasize the last sentence there by making it the stand-alone closing paragraph. Well done, Kevin.

You can reach Mr. O'Neal by e-mail at Feel free to drop him a line and let him know you appreciate his willingness to highlight the feel-good, do-nothing policies of establishments, such as Butler's Pizza, that post these "No Weapons" signs, expecting them to serve as some kind of violent criminal repellent.

Who Doesn't Like Cute Puppies?

Blogging will be light over the next couple of days. Yeah, I know I've made that claim in the past, only to follow it with a flurry of MGCSS posts. I blame that on my environment.

Anyway, here's a cute puppy picture that oughta hold you over for a while.

(more good stuff here)

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

This Would Qualify As Satire

...if it weren't so close to reality.

In a comment to this earlier post, Jay raises some excellent points:

He probably bought the box-cutter in a neighboring state with lax box-cutter laws.

Wonder if it was one of those high-capacity box-cutters that have upwards of ten razor-sharp blades in reserve?

I think we need a 15 day waiting period for box-cutters. Certainly anyone looking to scrape paint off their windows won't mind waiting over two weeks if it saves just one life...

That does it. I'm convinced. I'm going down to the police station this afternoon and turning in the assault weapon I've been wearing on my belt. Maybe I can get a Nike gift certificate for it. I honestly had no idea I've been carrying around such a lethal baby-killing machine. Let's review its many deadly attributes, shall we?

Quick change blade mechanism

This allows for rapid-fire schoolyard slashings.

Lightweight aluminum handle with clip

Textured space-age material provides a fingerprint-resistant surface, making it harder for the authorities to prosecute all the crimes committed with these weapons of mass destruction. And we all know how dangerous weapons with "clips" are.

Knurled thumb knob for easy one-hand opening

Clearly facilitates spray-slashing from the hip, enabling the user to indiscriminately attack large crowds of people.

Folds like a pocket knife

Creating a weapon that can be too easily concealed on one's person. There's no way for the police to tell who's packing one of these "cop-killers" or not.

And if that's not enough to get the Dianne Feinstein's and the Sarah Brady's of the world all tangled up in a sea of twisted panties, check out this high-capacity magazine that Jay was alluding to. I find it absolutely shocking that anyone can just waltz into a Sears store and walk out with such a deadly arsenal.

In the name of all things sweet and cuddly, won't somebody please think of the children?

All kidding aside, there is one gun control talking point that does apply in this case - and I'm being serious here for a minute. Though, it was the type of knife pictured above, and not the feared .50-caliber rifle, that was the "weapon of choice" for the 19 terrorists responsible for murdering more than 3,000 civilians over the course of a few minutes.

Quite the Gentleman

Everything's fine, folks. This story is just another tiny little bump in the road on the way to Senator Barrios' crime-free Utopian paradise. Remain calm.

I heard a very loud smash and I looked up and what appeared to be a large piece of wood that hit my windshield and completely bashed it in, and out of the corner of my eye I saw somebody else, and I turned and it was a gentleman [??? - ed.] holding a shotgun to the side of my head and said 'give me your money!'" Fish said.

Jesus, they should pass a law outlawing armed robbery!

"We're asking people to arm themselves be careful and cautious and to stay together," Ashland police said.

Good idea, that way they can rob four or five defenseless victims at a time. Anything to make the criminals' jobs more cost-effective.

(link via reader, Ham Slam)

That's Kristi With a "K", no "E"

File under "Why can't we be more like Canada?"

Harry Potter Book Sold by Accident

COQUITLAM, British Columbia - A handful of people in Canada got a sneak peak of the latest Harry Potter book, but a British Columbia Supreme Court judge ordered them to keep it a secret.

The book was sold to 14 people who snagged a copy of J.K. Rowlings' much anticipated "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince," when it landed on shelves last Thursday at a local grocery store.


Justice Kristi Gill last Saturday ordered customers not to talk about the book, copy it, sell it or even read it before it is officially released at 12:01 a.m. July 16.

Memo to Justice Gill: In the future, please refrain from smoking crack before work.

I gotta say, I'm more than a little curious to see how many of these 14 people actually obeyed Judge Kristi's order not to even read the book, or actually returned their books to the store.

Imagine the Outrage

Let's assume, for the purpose of this post, that our benevolent legislature here in Massachusetts have passed legislation declaring that "undocumented workers" in the Commonwealth (aka: illegal aliens) are entitled to a state-issued driver's license, so that they can exercise their "right" to drive to "work" - regardless of their illegal residency status, or lack of authentic documentation regarding their true identity or criminal history - and that they've overridden Governor Romney's veto of said legislation. You know, "for the children", and all.

Now, imagine, if you will, the outrage we would witness in Massachusetts if an illegal alien were to apply for a driver's license and was made to wait more than 75 days to be issued said license, all the while being told by officials at the Department of Motor Vehicles that they're "still looking for it" and that they will "call him back if and when they find it".

Why, Teddy "Gasbag" Kennedy himself would undoubtedly be chosen as the keynote speaker at the ACLU-sponsored rally on the State House steps, DEMANDING that the constitutional rights of ALL the "residents" of Massachusetts be fully restored forthwith.

I'm just talking hypothetically, of course. ;)

Now, imagine the outrage one would hear from these same champions of human rights if an honest, hard-working, law-abiding, American citizen, living in Massachusetts, were to apply for a license to own a firearm, and was made to wait more than 75 days to be issued said license, all the while being told by the licensing authority that they're "still looking for it" and they will "call him back if and when they find it".

mAss Backwards EXCLUSIVE! Listen to the outrage here.

And, yes, you can guess where this is going. Another round of LeFtY LoGiC. Batter up!

A. Giving driver's licenses to illegal aliens is a good thing, because it will turn them into law-abiding individuals, making our communities safer "for the children".

B. Giving firearms licenses to law-abiding American citizens is a horrible idea and a tragedy just waiting to happen, because it will transform them into violent criminals, making our communities less safe "for the children".

I swear, you can't make this shit up, people.

Defenseless Woman vs. Thug with Boxcutter

(like I have to tell you how this one turns out)

Today's installment in the ever-popular series of Massachusetts Gun Control Success Stories comes from Beverly, Massachusetts, a relatively peaceful town 25 miles or so north of Boston. Now, class, please prepare your dead horses for a little workover.

Man Sought After Assault, Store Robbery

BEVERLY, Mass. -- Beverly police are searching for a suspect in the assault on a store clerk during a robbery.

Wait! I got it! It's so obvious! We need to pass a law to close all convenience stores in Massachusetts by 8:00 PM. Their staying open so late is the reason they're always getting robbed, right?

NewsCenter 5's Jim Boyd reported that the incident happened at the Lil' Peach at 157 Essex St. at about 2:30 p.m. Sunday.

Oh...never mind. Well, this story just goes to show that it's far too easy in Massachusetts for anyone to just waltz into a gun shop and buy a gun, thereby instantly transforming themselves into violent criminals, right?

A man entered the store, assaulted the 32-year-old clerk, and locked her in a storage closet. The clerk suffered slash wounds from a box cutter on her neck and hands.

Hmmmm. Give me a minute here, folks. Massachusetts' "common-sense" gun control laws work, and I can prove it. Really.

"I understand that she was beaten up and that she was cut -- a couple of lacerations that were not too deep that required her to stay at the hospital," neighbor Kevin Andrews said.

Ah ha! See, I told you so! She survived the attack! Gun control saved her life.

[insert delusional gun-grabber trumpet fanfare here]

Besides, if she had a gun and knew how to use it, than this poor, misguided child might have been hurt, or even killed. Then we'd never be able to determine which aspect of our evil capitalistic society was responsible for his moral shortcomings. So, you see, gun control saved two lives in this instance.

But, if this story proves one thing, it's that the best way to fight violent crime in our communities is to install massive networks of surveillance cameras all around us, so the government can track our every move, thereby deterring those who might otherwise seek to do us harm. You know, just like they did in London, when they prevented those terrorists from blowing up those commuter trains.

The incident was caught on video surveillance tapes.


Again, I'm compelled to ask. Do those sound like the one of the most ridiculous attempts at formulating a rational argument you've ever heard?

Yeah? It does? No shit, tell me about it.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Guilty Pleasures

OK, fess up, who's watching Rock Star: INXS?


Hello? neither, man.

But, let me just say, the mere fact that Mig, J.D., and Dana here actually made the cut to get on this show in the first place is proof positive that I am in the wrong fucking line of work.

And, yes, this show sucks just enough to make it a possible weekly feature here at mAss Backwards.

UPDATE: Show's over. Dana's toast. Not exactly a tough call.

Real Life - Massachusetts Style

From the Brockton Enterprise:

Women learn to defend against sexual assault

ABINGTON - Nicole Cutter stood motionless in a defensive stance in a corner of the Woodsdale Elementary School gym as two male "assailants" quietly approached her from behind.

Then, without warning, they began shouting, stomping their feet and taunting their "target." One of the assailants then grabbed her around her waist in a simulated abduction attempt.

In a split second the 18-year-old Abington resident managed to break free and began landing punches and kicking at her assailants with a ferocity unknown perhaps even to Cutter herself. Not only did she pass her final exam Wednesday for the Rape and Aggression Defense (RAD) course, sponsored by the police department, she did exactly what she was supposed to do in an attempted sexual assault: fight back, distract the assailant and get away.

Wait a minute! What happened to "just give them what they want and they'll be nice"? Oh, I'm so confused.

Officer Lisa Donelan, lead instructor, said the final class was the true test of what the women had learned during three-hour weekly sessions held over the past month.

"It's such an important program," said Donelan, a RAD instructor since the department began funding the program six years ago.

"It's a different world now," she said. "There is a risk level everywhere."

Unless, of course, you decide to use that argument as a reason for requesting a firearms license. Then, you're just being a paranoid nutjob.

Jess Berry, 18, of Abington, said she enrolled in the free program to prepare for college in the fall. She plans to attend the University of Massachusetts at Amherst to study nursing.

"I think it's a very good idea," Berry said of RAD, "You have to know how to defend yourself. This is just common sense."

Well, it's not necessarily the best idea, but seeing as she's staying in Massachusetts, there's not much else she can do. Unless, of course, she applies for, pays for, and waits for the police to issue her a Firearms Identification Card that is required by the Commonwealth for the possession of even mace or pepper spray.

(though no one seems to be able to explain why)

There's the "common sense" you were referring to, Jess.

During the final class Wednesday night the 16 women each had to fend off would-be attackers. It was a tense moment for the students, not knowing what to expect. Each student wore protective knee and elbow pads, and a full-face helmet to avoid injury.

Just like in real life.

"I think (self-defense) is a wonderful thing to know," said Ann Yucius, 73, of Rockland. "On the street, predators sometimes think older people can't take care of themselves."

Sorry, Ann, but 'round these parts, it's not just "sometimes". And, sadly, it's not just "older people". We breed complacent, helpless victims here like a friggin' salmon hatchery. But, I do like the way you're starting to think. Now, get yourself to the nearest public pistol range and have a look around.

For the record, I do think these classes serve a useful purpose. Teaching people how to be more aware of their surroundings is something that a lot of people don't think about. They hear their politicians tell them what a "safe city" or town they live in and they tend to let their guard down. The single most important rule of self defense is knowing how to avoid, in the first place, places and situations where self defense might even be necessary.

When my wife and I were dating, she was enrolled in one of these "model mugging" classes. Friends and family were invited to attend the "graduation" to see a demonstration of what the women learned during the class. Like I said, some of what they taught made perfectly good sense, but as part of this "real-life" simulation, the instructor would inform the "muggers" if the "victims" had any physical weaknesses they should watch out for to prevent any injuries. Example: one woman there had a bad back, so the "muggers" took special care not inflict any stress on her back during the "assault".

Just like in real life.

Unless classes like this include a basic introduction to defensive firearms usage, or at least encourage women to responsibly explore the issue on their own (read: not actively discourage it), a lot of these women will walk out of there with a potentially fatal false sense of empowerment.

Not mention a lack of elbow pads or full-face helmets.

Happy Birthday, Slurpee!

The 7-11 Slurpee turns 40 today.

Long before smoothies and Frappuccinos there was the Slurpee. The slushy, colorful 7-Eleven brand - and American icon - turns 40 today and is still popular for the same reasons it caught on back then: fun, variety, "brain freeze" and colored tongues.

Honestly, they don't look a day over 25.

Today, consumers can enjoy a free sample at 7-Eleven's 5,800 stores in the USA and Canada.

Don't say I never did you any favors.

And, from's "Fun Facts":

But for the world titleholder, customers in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada consume more Slurpee beverages than anywhere else on Earth.

Know you know.

Rule #1 (version 3.0)

Don't bring a garden hose nozzle to a gun fight.

An armed-robbery suspect was in critical condition at North Colorado Medical Center after being shot in the head Friday afternoon by the Windsor liquor store owner he allegedly attempted to stick up.

According to the Weld County Sheriff's Department, the suspect, identified as 32-year-old Douglas Wies, entered the Corner Liquors store near 6th Street and Ash in Windsor about 5 p.m. Friday with a mask covering his face. He held what appeared to be a weapon wrapped in a scrap of cloth.

The suspect forced three people, including store owner Ron Trauernicht, his wife, Norma, and a customer into the narrow cooler that ran the length of the store, the sheriff's office said. All three escaped through the cooler's back exit.

Trauernicht hurried back into his store. He grabbed a gun he kept behind the counter and told an uncompliant Wies to drop his weapon, according to the sheriff's office.

After a short standoff, Trauernicht fired at the startled robber. The bullet went straight into the weapon Wies held - the mouth of an aluminium garden hose nozzle disguised by a T-shirt rag, the sheriff's office said.

Good shooting, Tex.

The bullet pierced the lightweight nozzle and struck Wies in the forehead.

Real good shooting.

Wies was airlifted to North Colorado Medical Center, where he remained in the critical care unit Saturday.

No additional commentary required.

(link via KABA)

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Tennis LeFtY LoGiC, Anyone?

This round of LeFtY LoGiC comes from this AP story on the upcoming NAACP annual convention, and NAACP chairman, Julian Bond's thoughts on future Supreme Court nominations.

NAACP chairman Julian Bond said the civil rights group, which is holding its annual convention in Milwaukee, wants to support "a nominee committed to justice and fair play."

The organization is holding its 96th convention. Some 8,000 people are expected to discuss issues including reparations for slavery, renewal of the voting rights act and ways of increasing membership.

Geez, they could have at least spaced those two paragraphs a little further apart to make the LeFtY LoGiC slightly less blatant.

Friday, July 08, 2005

These Stories Piss Me Off

Form the Roslindale Transcript police logs:

Temple Street, West Roxbury. A 79-year-old West Roxbury man turned in his .38-caliber Smith and Wesson handgun and 37 rounds of ammunition. He told police that he did not want to burden his family in case he passes away. The gun was used for his protection when he owned some barrooms years ago in the Boston area, the police report noted.

Sure, he could have sold the gun to a dealer, or another licensed individual in the state, but why "burden one's family" with cash?

From the Department of Unfortunate Acronyms

Let's just hope they don't make t-shirts.

Meet the WOW team.

These Wise/Wonderful Older Women - all
older than 50 - live in Brookline and are
taking to the pavement Aug. 13 for the
Mass Red Ribbon Ride, a collaborative ride
benefiting 13 statewide AIDS organizations.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

What Say You (This Time), Senator Kerry?

Has anyone heard any reaction to today's terrorist attacks in London from Senator (thank God!) Kerry's office? Oh, I'm sure he'll be issuing a statement full of boisterous tough talk about how we all must come together to defeat this vile enemy of freedom and liberty.

I only ask, because I'm quite curious as to what his assessment of the situation would be. Going back over some public statements he made this past year, one would be hard-pressed to reach any solid conclusions.

Was the threat of terrorism leading up to today's events in London "exaggerated", as it apparently is here in the United States?

"I think there has been an exaggeration," Mr. Kerry said when asked whether President Bush has overstated the threat of terrorism. "They are misleading all Americans in a profound way."

Or was this series of bombings merely a pesky "nuisance"? You know, the kind of attacks he feels we should be striving for.

We have to get back to the place we were, where terrorists are not the focus of our lives, but they're a nuisance.

Just may be the families and loved ones of the dead and wounded.


UPDATE: For the record, it seems the senator is on our side this time.


America should offer every assistance to Great Britain in dealing with the aftermath of this tragedy and in hunting down and destroying those responsible.

She Said Yes

(story here)

Stop the Presses!

As David Letterman used to say, "Wake the kids and phone the neighbors!" A woman in Massachusetts has started a (gasp!) left-of-center blog! Wow, that's a real bold undertaking 'round these parts. [/yawn]

There's nothing terribly exciting, or even interesting, for that matter, in this article. It's a left-leaning write-up from someone who wouldn't know a conservative blog if it plowed into him head-on doing a buck-twenty on the Mass Pike. But I did get a healthy chuckle over this woman's take on the early American colonists who bravely fought for this country's independence from the English Empire.

"The current administration is just continuing what the Republicans have been doing for years - putting a nasty connotation on liberal or progressive," Goodwin said. "But if it weren't for liberal, open-minded thinkers early on, we'd all still be singing 'God Save the Queen.'"

Well, that's a real interesting [read: delusional] slant there, Susan. But, you seem to have misspelled the phrase "heavily-armed, independent thinkers, willing to fight and die for the preservation of economic freedom and personal liberty, concepts long-abandoned by today's 'progressives'". To even attempt to draw a parallel between John Adams, James Madison, and Thomas Jefferson and Nancy Pelosi, Charlie Rangel, Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton is immeasurably beyond laughable.

I can't say I'm terribly surprised, though, to hear such misguided rhetoric coming from the ideological camp whose Messiah and savior, Michael Moore, equated the terrorists who saw of the heads off civilians with the patriots of the American war for independence.

Say, how about a quick round of LeFtY LoGiC?

A. The American revolutionaries who fought for their independence from England were "liberal, open-minded thinkers".

B. The terrorists who are fighting coalition forces in Iraq are the moral equivalents of the early American revolutionaries.

You do the math.