911 à la Carte

Iowa fire department to charge fees

FAIRFIELD, Iowa (AP) - Residents will be charged a fee for using the Fire Department's services.

The City Council voted Monday that the service fee will be effective immediately. Previously, there was only a charge for cleaning up hazardous material spills.

Now, when the Fire Department responds to an accident and extracts someone from a vehicle, there will be a $500 charge. Responding to a vehicle fire will cost from $150 to $500.

The charge for responding to a grass fire will be up to $300. The charge for a house fire will range from $300 to $500, and a commercial building fire will range from $300 to $1,000.

Many of the fees will be covered by homeowner or vehicle insurance policies, rather than by individuals, Fire Chief Ralph Hickenbottom said.

Of course, with no increase in premium or deductible, right?

"911 Emergency."

"Yes, hello, my husband and I were in a car acci.."

"HONEY, PUT DOWN THE DAMN CELL PHONE! Are you nuts! They're gonna whack us for 500 bucks! Get over here and help me pop the steering wheel out from behind my ribcage. I've almost got it."

I saw this story last week and wasn't planning on blogging on it, but SondraK at Knowledge is Power has too perfect a tie-in to pass up.

Buckle Up!

If this is indicative of the current state of the education of our country's young people, we're in for one rough ride.

First Amendment No Big Deal, Students Say

WASHINGTON - The way many high school students see it, government censorship of newspapers may not be a bad thing, and flag burning is hardly protected free speech.

It turns out the First Amendment is a second-rate issue to many of those nearing their own adult independence, according to a study of high school attitudes released Monday.

The original amendment to the Constitution is the cornerstone of the way of life in the United States, promising citizens the freedoms of religion, speech, press and assembly.

Yet, when told of the exact text of the First Amendment, more than one in three high school students said it goes "too far" in the rights it guarantees. Only half of the students said newspapers should be allowed to publish freely without government approval of stories.

Yikes.

Also, to be filed under For What It's Worth:

The high schools that were included in this study are representative of the national high school demographic. The charts below show the percentage breakdown of the schools in the study across types of schools and types of communities.

I'd be curious to see (though not surprised by) what these results would show if they were asking these kids about the importance of the 2nd Amendment, or the rest of the Bill of Rights for that matter. I'm guessing that's not very high on the list of priorities being addressed by our educational system today.

Teach your children well, indeed.

A Keene Mind

From a letter to the editor of the Nashua Telegram (NH):

Thanks for the Jan. 19 story about that local family that successfully used its handguns to stop an intruder.

The news from other states is so often dominated by stories of criminal successes.

What could he POSSIBLY be referring to?

(link via KABA)

It's Official!

I'm worldwide, baby!

Hmmm...I Wonder

Where's the compassion now, you useless leftist twits?

From a reader of Michelle Malikn's blog comes the (Oh-so Rhetorical) Question of the Day:

Why don't we see the human shields at the polls in Iraq? They were willing to protect Iraq from bombs before the war started. Why aren't they protecting Iraq now?

Gee, I dunno, maybe because they never gave a rat's ass about the fate of the Iraqi people, and were just a bunch of anti-American, Kool-aid felching jackoffs with their heads lodged up their collective poopchute.

That's my theory and I'm sticking to it.

And despite a number of insurgent terrorist attacks aimed at disrupting the elections and the spread of freedom in Iraq, CNN is reporting initial voter turnout estimates at 72%.

Not too shabby. I'm predicting turnout in the Bay State for the '06 election won't even come close to that.

Finally, this from Say Anything:

Oh, the AGONY!

To quote Lee from Right Thinking:

If this is torture, then I’m in the wrong business.

From the Monterey Herald:

AP: Gitmo Soldier Details Sexual Tactics

"His female interrogator decided that she needed to turn up the heat," Saar writes, saying she repeatedly asked the detainee who had sent him to Arizona, telling him he could "cooperate" or "have no hope whatsoever of ever leaving this place or talking to a lawyer.'"

The man closed his eyes and began to pray, Saar writes.

The female interrogator wanted to "break him," Saar adds, describing how she removed her uniform top to expose a tight-fitting T-shirt and began taunting the detainee, touching her breasts, rubbing them against the prisoner's back and commenting on his apparent erection.

Upon reading this, I could think of only two things, this...

Lancelot: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
Galahad: I don't think I was.
Lancelot: You were, Sir Galahad. You were in terrible peril.
Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
Lancelot: No, it's too perilous.

...and the fact that the last time I was made to suffer this kind of torture, it set me back close to 300 bucks at the Chez Paree in Montreal.

I Blame John Kerry

No doubt, this will be all over the blogosphere by day's end.

Two dead, two hurt in Jeep plant shooting

TOLEDO, Ohio (AP) -- A recently disciplined auto worker burst into a Jeep factory with a shotgun and opened fire, killing a supervisor and wounding two others, before fatally shooting himself.

The shootings at the Jeep Liberty Plant began about 8:45 p.m. Wednesday when the gunman leveled the shotgun he had hidden under his coat at a woman and told her he was there to shoot three people, police Chief Mike Navarre said.

Funny how CNN fails to mention in their version of the story that the gunman had a criminal record dating back to the 1970's. NO, they wouldn't want to print that. Then people would be able to differentiate between this nutjob and law-abiding concealed weapons permit holders. That might amount to accurate and honest reporting.

Chad D. Baus, from Ohioans For Concealed Carry has more, and yes, it warrants another...

DEAD HORSE BEATING ALERT

As (Police Chief Mike) Navarre staged the press conference to offer details on this tragedy, I couldn't help but recall his opinions on self-defense:

In a June 2004 story about how carry-out owners are arming themselves after a year or more stretch of violent robberies in Toledo, "Navarre said he teaches small business owners not to have a gun." Navarre "wants owners to comply with criminals because anytime you have more guns in a tense situation, the better the chance of people getting shot and it's just not worth it."

EXACTLY! Only it's the bad guy who'd have been more likely to snuff it (prior to killing anyone). And that would have saved innocent lives, but the chief feels that wouldn't have been worth it. Jackass. What happened to the "If it saves just ONE life" mantra from the Brady/Feinstein/Schumer cabal?

At a town hall gathering for concerned store owners and citizens one year ago this month, Navarre was asked what they should do if bullets are flying. He said, "Take immediate cover - get away from the bullets," and added, "Pick up a baseball bat if that’s your only defense against bullets coming toward you." He said the best response to an armed robber is to comply fully and quickly, and to avoid making sudden movements.

Got that? Get away from the bullets...but do it VERY slowly. Who appointed this retard police chief? This is unbelieveable - right up there on the "Idiot Index" with Cheryl Crow's "The best way to avoid war is to not have any enemies".

Where do these people come from?

"Complying with criminals" didn't prevent the Jeep plant shootings, and apparently there weren't any baseball bats lying around.

Toledo gun control extremist Toby Hoover recently issued a statement praising workplace weapons prohibitions, fretting that "persons that carry guns make decisions that will affect any of us in their presence. Their judgment of when they will use a firearm puts us all at risk."

There are some grieving family members in Ohio right now that wish their loved ones could have faced such "risk" yesterday.

Indeed, and the decision made by Mr. Meyers was made despite all the Federal gun control laws, state gun control laws, Toledo gun control laws, and employee manual gun control policies, because people who are determined to kill just don't care. This mass killer broke scores of firearms and criminal laws in committing this rampage, and he didn't need a license to do it. Of course, these same laws did nothing to protect the law-abiding citizens who work for Jeep.

This incident reinforces the fact that disarmament zones only disarm honest, law-abiding citizens; not the criminals who prey upon them.

Note: the firearm involved was NOT a scary-looking assault weapon, a "Saturday Night Special", a .50-caliber sniper/terrorist/anti-aircraft rifle, a weapon loaded with any "cop killer" or "armor-piercing" ammunition, or ANY kind of high-capacity firearm.

It was a double barrel shotgun, capacity = two (AKA: the weapon of choice for a certain junior senator from Massachusetts).

Nice Knowing EU

Robber's gun a deductible expense

A bank robber has been allowed to claim the £1,400 cost of the gun he used as a legitimate business expense.

[snip]

The Dutch prosecutors' service said yesterday that the judge had followed sound legal precedents.

Leendert De Lange, a spokesman, said: "You can compare criminal acts to normal business activities, where you must invest to make profits, and thus you have costs."

Therefore drug dealers would be within their rights to claim the cost of a car used to ferry the drugs around, he said.

Citizens are treated like criminals for defending the lives of their families. Like-minded government officials treat criminals like law-abiding businessmen. What's not to love?

Yet, there are still those enlightened, "progressive" individuals among us (aka: Michael Mooreons) who ask "Why can't we be more like Europe?".

And I thought Massachusetts was bad.

(link via poster at packing.org)

Communiqué From The Enemy

I happened to be looking back at some old posts that had "dropped off the page" recently and came across a new comment on this post about the recent armed home invasion in Roslindale. This individual, going by the name of Charles Foster Kane, put down the URL for Stop Handgun Violence as his "homepage" in the comment form - more on that later.

To refresh your memory, here's what went down a week ago Friday:

Three men forced their way into an apartment in a two-family home on a quiet Roslindale street Friday night and held a 55-year-old woman and her 15-year-old grandson at gunpoint while they ransacked the dwelling in search of money, police spokesman Michael McCarthy said yesterday.

Maritza Morel and her grandson were relaxing at home on Kittredge Street when the doorbell rang around 9:30 p.m. When Morel opened the door, the men forced their way into the apartment, hit her in the face, and tied her hands behind her back with plastic strips, McCarthy said.

One of the men, who wore a mask, pointed a gun at Morel's head and asked her in Spanish where she kept her money, police said.

Now, let's get to Charles' words of wisdom. As usual, it is now necessary to activate the official mAss Backwards...

DEAD HORSE BEATING ALERT

Let's continue, shall we?

"Citizen disarmament" my ass.

OK, what do you call it when the politicians pass laws that take away the citizens' guns and prevent them from obtaining guns in the future?

Maritza Morel should have answered the door with a gun in her hand?

Well, not exactly. She shouldn't have answered the door at all. She should have called the police, and then approached the door or tried to look out a window to see who was there. And yes, she should have been able to do so with a gun in her hand. You know, just in case it was a bunch of criminals calling. Hey, it WAS a bunch of criminals calling, whadda you know?

That's how we stop crime?

Sure as hell would have stopped that crime pretty fucking quick.

Why doesn't the city just invent a mind reading machine to thwart criminals before they act?

Well that's been tried. It's called racial profiling and liberal pussies like yourself get all bent out of shape over it. Then there's that pesky "unlawful search and seizure" thingy to contend with. Tell me something Charles, what trait is shared by an OVERWHELMING majority of gun-crime suspects (AND victims) in Boston? I mean, aside from the fact that they're not licensed to possess or carry firearms.

Makes more sense than taking practical steps like going after southern states with lax gun laws which is where many of the guns used by criminals in this city come from.

Yeah, it must be those lax gun laws. That's why Vermont, right next door to the crime-free utopia of Massachusetts, is just overrun with violent crime.

How long have you been in Boston?

I lived in Somerville from 1984 to 1990, Cambridge for a year or so, and have lived in the City of Boston ever since.

Were you here in 1989/1990 when the city was exploding with crime? We're a damn sight better off now then we were then so stop taking random crimes and trying to blow them up into an indictment of the administration. Anecdotal evidence doesn't prove your point.

So now they're random crimes? But the police are always stressing how these are NOT random crimes, as if that's supposed to make us feel less vulnerable. There's not much "random" activity going on here. These crimes are calculated, premeditated, violent acts targeting the most defenseless people in our communities. People rendered defenseless by a government that's "working in their best interest".

Further, a woman in my neighborhood was beaten, tied-up, robbed, and held at gunpoint in front of her grandson, and you dismiss that as a mere "anecdote" that has no bearing on the discussion of the failures of gun control. Fuck you, and the donkey you rode in on, pal.

Guess you just don't have enough stomach for living in a city.

Yeah, a REAL man would just watch while his family is beaten at gunpoint and tied up, leaving them at the mercy of a bunch of crackheads with guns. I gotta say, I don't like the idea of that one bit. What a pussy I must be.

I feel kind of sorry for you, with the way you have to live in a state of fear and all.

It's called living in reality, in a state of awareness. And it beats living in denial any day.

Anyway, here's the website for Stop Handgun Violence. No need to click the link really, just read their tagline:

Blah blah blah blah blah common sense gun laws.

'Nuff said.

So, who are these folks? The usual suspects, of course.

Stop Handgun Violence was the lead agency in a coalition that came together to pass the Gun Control Act of 1998 (Chapter 180), the most comprehensive gun legislation in the nation. The coalition included the office of Senator Cheryl Jacques, the MA Medical Society, The MA Public Health Association, MA Chiefs of Police Association, the Mayor of Boston, the Attorney General, the Boston Bar Association and the League of Women Voters.

Ah, yes, the "comprehensive" Gun Control Act of 1998. Their pride and joy. Here's how well that plan worked.

From GOAL's website, a Then and Now comparison of firearm incidents from 1997 and 2001. I've reproduced their chart to post it here (again).

Wait, how can that be? Surely if you decrease the number of licensed gun owners, there's bound to be a decrease in the number of assault related gun injuries. Right?


Survey says...X!


How can a law be described as "common sense" if it systematically disarms the victims of crime while doing absolutely nothing to hinder the ability of criminals to obtain and use guns while following their chosen career paths?

Next!

Headline of the Day

Official: Conservation program has run out of money

Stay Tuned

Normal blogging schedule to resume shortly. Still recovering from a solid day's worth of snowblowing.

I got a hundred things to get to here, but right now, I'm just concentrating on getting to bed. See you Tuesday.

and GO PATS!

Pride Goeth Before an Ass-kicking

Budget address could be moved for celebration

HARRISBURG, Pa. -- Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell is considering rescheduling his Feb. 8 budget address to avoid a conflict with a possible Super Bowl celebration if the Pittsburgh Steelers or Philadelphia Eagles win.

[snip]

Getting into the spirit of the discussion, (general counsel to the Senate Republican majority, Stephen) MacNett added, "I hope he's not jinxing either team's prospects by too much planning and speculation."

Regardless, it can't be worse than this.

Did I mention the Patriots' defense held the mighty Colts to only THREE measly, stinking points?

On that note, one more Manning dig for you all before I declare myself on blogging hiatus as I prepare for the AFC Championship game on Sunday.

Checklist:

Patriots hard hat - CHECK
Superbowl XXXVI t-shirt - CHECK
Superbowl XXXVIII t-shirt - CHECK
Patriots zip-up hood sweatshirt - CHECK
Tom Brady home jersey - CHECK
Red, white, and blue Mardi Gras beads - CHECK
Sam Adams Lager (he WAS a brewer and patriot, after all) - CHECK

(image/link via Six Meat Buffet via NashvilleFiles)

Anyone Seen My Crayons?

I came across this contest on Channel 5's website today and thought it might be something fun for my girls (2-1/2 years-old) to do. They're HUGE Dora fans (and kick-ass colorers, if I do say so).

Alas, I was just about to print the pictures to bring them home for the girls to color when I decided to check out the contest rules:

2.Eligibility. The contest is open only to legal U.S. residents who are 18 years of age or older as of January 10th, 2005 and is void wherever prohibited or restricted by applicable federal or state laws and regulations. If winner selected is under 18 years of age, the prize will be awarded to the winner's parent or legal guardian. Parent or legal guardian must be 18 years of age or older.

If? Christ, I would hope so.

mAsshole of the Week

Meter maid rage: Hummer-driving halfwit scalds her with Starbucks

A hulking Boston bodyguard was arrested yesterday, accused of hurling a scalding Starbucks coffee at a meter maid who slapped a ticket on his illegally parked Hummer in the Back Bay.

[snip]

Noviello wrote a $55 ticket, and slid it under the Hummer's windshield wiper - apparently enraging its driver, Francois Youhanna.

"He started yelling, `I don't accept this ticket!' He had a Venti-sized cup of black coffee in his hand, and he flung it right in my face," said Noviello, just hours after she was treated for first- and second-degree burns on her face and upper torso at New England Medical Center.

"Venti-sized"? Behold, people, reason #3 why I don't buy coffee at Starbucks.

What the hell is a venti? The last time I was in a Starbucks, I discovered that their "tall" cup of coffee is what us uneducated commoners who buy our coffee at Dunkin Donuts or 7-11 would call a "small". Can I assume then that a "venti-sized" coffee is either a medium or large? Or would that be extra-small or extra-large?

Don't answer that. Ignorance is bliss, and with this being Friday, I could use a little blissfulness. Anyway, back to the story at hand.

Starbucks employees rushed out of the store with wet cloths to soothe the burns, as cops arrested Youhanna for assault and battery with a deadly weapon, the hot coffee, which is a felony.

Youhanna insisted he spilled the coffee on Noviello by mistake after slipping on some ice and falling, a story his female companion echoed. But witnesses said Youhanna - who is 6-foot-2 and 200 pounds - charged at the meter maid and was very close to her face when the coffee was thrown.

Um...she fell...ON the dagger...twice. (20 bonus points for cultural reference ID, anyone?)

Last year, 16 meter maids were physically assaulted and another 48 were threatened or harassed, said Tom Tinlin, deputy commissioner of the Boston Transportation Department.

"It's appalling. This behavior should not be tolerated in a civilized world,'' Tinlin said yesterday. "Christi is one of the nicest people I know. For her to be subjected to such behavior while performing your job is a disgrace."

Look for a proposed legislation in the near future to regulate the maximum temperature at which coffee can be served in Massachusetts. Surely, Attorney General Tom Reilly can do something to curb this violent epidemic. It's FOR THE CHILDREN!

Besides, no one NEEDS scalding hot coffee.

Upon Reflection - vol. 5

On Lessons Learned (circa 1986)

I don't care how much you might like the groovy, multi-color swirly designs on it, you should NEVER use a plastic pen cap in the construction of a homemade bong, especially near the hot end.

And it may take a while, but the headaches WILL go away.

License to Carry Marry

As someone who supports the rights of same-sex couples to marry (more to the point, I support the concept of the government getting out of the marriage business altogether), I'm finding it hard to be very sympathetic to this couple's cause.

Fla. Refuses Recognition Of Gay Couple's Bay State Marriage

Judge Soundly Dismissed Lawsuit In Favor Of State Ban

POSTED: 7:18 am EST January 20, 2005

TAMPA, Fla. -- After 27 years together, Nancy Wilson and Paula Schoenwether got married last summer in Massachusetts, along with thousands of other same-sex couples who wanted their unions legalized.

Massachusetts right now is the only state that allows gay marriage, but Wilson and Schoenwether want their home state of Florida to recognize their union, too. Their attempt to get that recognition, though, was soundly rejected Wednesday when a judge dismissed their lawsuit, upholding a federal law that lets states ban same-sex marriages.

Coincidentally, Florida is the only state that will issue me a non-resident license to carry a concealed weapon on a shall-issue basis, without requiring that I be similarly licensed in my home state. All I need to do is send in the application and a check, and wait - gee, that sounds a lot like getting a marriage license. Huh.

Now, what percentage of gay marriage activists in the state of Massachusetts, or in the rest of the country for that matter, do you suppose, would rally to my defense as I try to convince Massachusetts law enforcement agencies to recognize my right to carry a concealed firearm in the Commonwealth, based on the fact that I could legally do so in Florida?* How many of them woud be marching beside me up the front steps of the Supreme Court to argue on my behalf?

Hint: it's a very, very, very small number.

In the interest of fairness and equality, I propose that anyone looking to get married in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts must first be required to take a marriage safety course, be photographed, fingerprinted, subject to a criminal background check. and then made to pass a marriage proficiency test. After all of that, they must then provide on their License to Marry (LTM) application, a list of reasons for requesting such a license. Then, if the licensing authority determines they have adequately expressed a "need" to get married, a license may be issued (subject to any "common-sense" restrictions the local authorities deem appropriate).

Sound ridiculous? It should. And I don't recall reading in the Constitution anything about the right of the people to get married.

* Members of Pink Pistols excluded

I Think I Just Wet Myself (UPDATED)

THIS is funny on so many levels, I don't even know where to begin.

Michael Moore's Bodyguard Arrested on Airport Gun Charge

NEW YORK — Filmmaker Michael Moore's bodyguard was arrested for carrying an unlicensed weapon in New York's JFK airport Wednesday night.

Police took Patrick Burke, who says Moore employs him, into custody after he declared he was carrying a firearm at a ticket counter. Burke is licensed to carry a firearm in Florida and California, but not in New York. Burke was taken to Queens central booking and could potentially be charged with a felony for the incident.

Moore's 2003 Oscar-winning film "Bowling for Columbine" criticizes what Moore calls America's "culture of fear" and its obsession with guns.

It's like ra-a-a-ain, on your wedding day!

UPDATE: Remember being told if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is?

Well, it seems Fox News wasn't entirely accurate in their reporting of this incident. See this post at Moorewatch for the details.

What we seem to have here is a major media outlet in this country misrepresenting the facts in a gun-related news story. Golly, that NEVER happens. One such case in point, this recent entry in the Boston Herald's police log:

A loaded handgun and four hollow-point ("cop-killer'') bullets were seized Thursday from William Hart, 18, and Shamia Perry, 21, after police found their purple Toyota Camry double-parked on Devon Street.

Note: This correction in no way changes the fact that Michael Moore is a hypocritical, leftist dillhole. Have a nice day.

You Have the Right to Remain Stupid

From the Berkshire Eagle comes this story out of Pittsfield, Massachusetts:

More than $8,000 worth of cocaine, a 9 mm semiautomatic pistol, ammunition and five bulletproof vests were among the items recovered during a raid Friday evening at 11 Pinehurst Ave., court documents allege.

[snip]

Excluding the packaging, more than 80 grams of cocaine were found in the house, court documents stated.

Quote of the Week comes from the home's occupant, 28-year-old Pelem Damon Powell, the most straight-up, honest (though maybe a bit on the slow side) drug dealer you'll ever meet.

"I'll take responsibility for the coke, the crack and the gun, it's mine, but not that seven grams on the counter, because I just sold it to him," according to a statement attributed by police to Powell.

Only 340 Shopping Days 'Til Christmas

If you're looking to get an early jump your Christmas shopping this year and haven't yet figured out what to get me, this beauty is on sale at Four Seasons Firearms in Woburn for $299.95!

Caliber: .38 S&W Special +P
Capacity: 5 Rounds
Barrel Length: 1-7/8"
Front Sight: Serrated Ramp
Rear Sight: Fixed Notch
Grip: Uncle Mike's Boot
Trigger: .312" Smooth Target
Hammer: .240" Semi-Target
Frame: Small
Finish: Glassbead
Overall length: 6-5/16"
Material: Aluminum Alloy/Stainless Steel
Weight Empty: 15 ounces

But you'd better hurry, they (allegedly) only have five available at this price. Thanks in advance. :)

Compare and Contrast

Compare this story out of Hollis, New Hampshire with the story in my previous post about the home invasion in Boston, Massachusetts, where the resident was arrested for having the nerve to save his wife's life (our mayor would, of course, prefer that he and others be more "progressive" in their thinking and allow their loved ones to be killed).

Here's the Cliff Notes version:

Man breaks into neighbor's house, in a violent, alcohol and drug-fueled rage.

Homeowner confronts intruder armed with a .45-caliber Smith & Wesson, calls police.

Homeowner's daughter comes downstairs to help Dad, carrying a .357 magnum Ruger wheelgun.

Bad guy is subsequently hauled off by the police and faces a felony burglary charge, punishable by up to 7½ to 15 years in prison.

Here are some other interesting bits from the article.

"This could have been a tragedy, and fortunately for all of us, it wasn't," Narkis said. "I was told specifically from police, 'It's a good thing you have a gun, because it could have been very bad for you.'"

Like so many other people around the world pursuing their dreams, I too long for the day when I can move with my family to America.

Narkis had reached the living room when he heard someone breaking into the kitchen, he told police. Narkis fired his .45-caliber Smith & Wesson twice by accident, while trying to cock it and chamber a round. The first shot hit a lamp in the living room, and the second hit a grandfather clock near the front door, police reported.

A little more range time, Donald, would not be a bad idea.

But, the best part of all of this:

Camplin began to get up while Narkis was on the phone with police, however, and Narkis fired a round toward his legs, thinking that at worst, he would wound him, he said. Police found the shot lodged in the floor, near Camplin’s legs, Mello reported.

Camplin was still on the floor when Mello and officers Christopher Bonin and Kevin Irwin arrived, Mello reported. While police cuffed him, Camplin yelled something to the effect that "psycho tried to shoot me," Mello reported.

Narkis broke no law, Darling said, and police have no plans to charge him. State law gives people the right to use deadly force against intruders who threaten them in their own homes.

Side note: Mr. Narkis lives less than three miles from Massachusetts.

Honoring MLK in MA

From the Boston Globe:

King's dream unites disparate voices

Nearly 40 years after his death, the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. is such a unifying figure that yesterday's breakfast celebrating his life offered the unlikely image of Governor Mitt Romney and his presumptive Democratic challenger, Attorney General Thomas F. Reilly, holding hands and singing "We Shall Overcome."

And I shall now throw up, thanks.

Roughly 1,200 people, including local business leaders and politicians, attended the 35th annual Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial Breakfast at the convention center. Harvard University law professor Lani Guinier was the keynote speaker, but elected officials dominated the dais, as Senator John F. Kerry, Romney, Mayor Thomas M. Menino, and Reilly tied King's legacy to their own political priorities.

And what did our local muckety-mucks have to say in tribute to the legacy and memory of Dr. King? Governor?

Romney suggested that if King were alive today he would focus on education, one of the issues Romney hopes to tackle in the new legislative session.

Good answer, Mitt. You get a gold star ext to your name. Mr. Attorney General, you're up next.

Reilly talked about how he is determined to defend Lynn's voluntary desegregation plan, which is being challenged in court.

OK, well done. You may join Mitt at the front of the class. Mr. Mayor?

Menino talked about affordable housing and celebrated a Boston "that is more diverse than it's ever been in its history."

Very nice, gentlemen. All your comments were quite appropriate for this solemn tribute to a fallen hero of the civil rights movement. Senator Kerry, you're next. Senator?

And Kerry elicited a standing ovation with his charge that long lines caused by "the uneven distribution of voting machines" and the purging of registration lists disenfranchised thousands of voters during last year's presidential election.

No doubt, referring to the voting irregularities in Wisconsin.[/sarcasm]

So, what's worse? The fact that Kerry used this opportunity to whine like a little schoolgirl who just got her pigtails dipped in the inkwell, spewing sheer partisan rhetoric, or the fact that his little tirade here "elicited a standing ovation"?

Let the healing begin, eh, senator?

Unfortunately, John, no partial credit for you on this one. You forgot to mention how the Diebold Corporation is controlled by an evil Republican cabal headed by Karl Rove and is secretly programming their voting machines to erase a certain percentage of votes cast for Democrat candidates. And surely Halliburton had their blood-thirsty paws in all of this somehow. Come on, senator, you can do better.

But wait, there's more..

Unlike Romney, Kerry emphasized the role of money in education, decrying a "separate and unequal" system in which teachers in poor schools have to dig into their own pockets for classroom supplies.

Lawrence School Superintendent, Wilfredo Laboy was unavailable for comment.

LAWRENCE -- The superintendent of one of the state's poorest school systems is billing the district for running boards for his city-leased SUV, saying his wife was having difficulty getting in and out of the vehicle when she was wearing high heels.

[snip]

Laboy, who makes $164,500 a year, gets a $600 monthly transportation allowance. From the allowance, the city pays $433.49 a month to lease the superintendent a 2004 Chevrolet TrailBlazer and pays for gasoline, vehicle maintenance, and other incidental transportation costs.

The $490 bill Laboy submitted for the installation of the running boards would be in addition to the allowance.

It's not the first time Laboy has been criticized for extravagance. McGovern said she vetoed Laboy's request that the city pay for a subscription to OnStar, the GMC road service program, and for $2,000 for the framing of pictures to decorate his office.

This clown's pulling down 164-large a year, and our senator believes we should be funneling more taxpayer dollars into this corrupt system known as public education? And the majority of American voters felt otherwise? I'm stunned.

Polishing the Turd

This story from the Boston Herald tries its best to put a happy face on the City of Boston's violent crime statistics for the beginning of the new year.

Boston cops have started two new programs to stem the violence that left 66 people dead last year - the highest murder rate in a decade, police Commissioner Kathleen O'Toole told the Herald yesterday.

[snip]

So far, the results have been promising, O'Toole noted. The city is 18 days into the new year without a single homicide victim.

Well, that's just spiffy, Ms. Commissioner, but based on the news accounts of the last couple weeks, the trend, if you can call it that, has seemingly shifted from gangbangers and drug dealers killing each other to violent armed home invasions targeting the innocent residents of your fair city and stabbings of pizza/chinese food delivery guys - currently averaging one such incident every four days (see here, here, here, and here).

And it's the official position of your department that these results are "promising"?

Last year there were 66 murders, and five of those victims fell in the month of January, including 18-year-old Todd Williams, shot dead on a Dorchester street corner two days into 2004.

O'Toole said she is "keeping her fingers crossed," the calm continues.

Yeah, nothing like a nice relaxing home invasion to calm your nerves after a long week at home recovering from the stab wounds you got at work.

"Unfortunately, we will have our tragedies," she said.

The "tragedy" here, Kathleen, is that these crimes are being facilitated by policies enacted by the Mayor's office and enforced by your department. Stop me if you've heard this one before.

Strip the people of their right and ability to defend their families and their homes, and guess what happens. Surprising as it may be to some, the innocent become prey for the predatory thugs who are now free to act with impunity while plying their craft in our "safe city". Violent crime aimed at depriving innocent people of their material goods is a very high reward/low risk career path in the City of Boston and throughout the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

As for our legislators and public officials who are responsible for this continuous cascade of horseshit legislation and policy-making, they sure are slow on the uptake for a bunch of pansy-assed, nanny-state liberals who are so fond of prattling on about how intellectually superior and "progressive" this state is.

Some Guys Have All the Luck

From the Boston Herald police log:

A man renovating the attic of his Savin Hill Avenue home discovered a silver five-shot revolver and several rounds of ammunition that did not belong to him. The gun, four small-caliber rounds and 90 shotgun shells were tagged as evidence and carted away by cops.

They needed a cart?

Here, Peyton...

...have a cold Bruschi.

New England Patriots inside linebacker Teddy Bruschi (54) sacks
Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning during second half
action of their second round AFC playoff game in Foxboro, Mass.,
Sunday night Jan 16, 2005. The Patriots defeated the Colts 20-3.

For those of you keeping score at home, that's three points scored all day by the over-rated Colts' offense. And three MVP quarterbacks mowed down by the Patriots in the last two postseasons.

UPDATE (1/17/05): "Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out."

Detect a Pattern Yet?

Looks like 2005 is shaping up to be a banner year in the City of Boston for armed home invasions. This latest one happened Friday night, less than a mile from my house.

Three sought in home invasion

Intruders hold grandmother, boy at gunpoint

By Suzanne Smalley, Globe Staff | January 16, 2005

Three men forced their way into an apartment in a two-family home on a quiet Roslindale street Friday night and held a 55-year-old woman and her 15-year-old grandson at gunpoint while they ransacked the dwelling in search of money, police spokesman Michael McCarthy said yesterday.

Maritza Morel and her grandson were relaxing at home on Kittredge Street when the doorbell rang around 9:30 p.m. When Morel opened the door, the men forced their way into the apartment, hit her in the face, and tied her hands behind her back with plastic strips, McCarthy said.

One of the men, who wore a mask, pointed a gun at Morel's head and asked her in Spanish where she kept her money, police said.

Boy, I sure hope these guys didn't let their Licenses to Carry expire. They'd really be in trouble then.

The home invasion stunned the quiet block populated by families and longtime residents. A woman who lives across the street from the victims' tidy two-story house said the neighborhood is normally tranquil.

"This is pretty unusual," said the woman, who requested anonymity. "This area is safe."

OK, you go right on thinking that, I won't stop you. But, in case you hadn't noticed, a bunch of armed criminals just forced their way into the house across the street from you and assaulted a defenseless woman and her grandson at gunpoint.

Yet Mayor Menino just keeps on spouting off all the bullshit he can about how safe he claims this city is. He's been doing so for years, so often that innocent people like Maritza Morel actually begin to believe it and feel it's perfectly safe to answer their door at night when strangers come knocking. After all, given how safe a city Boston is, according to the Mayor's own words, it's probably just someone having car trouble, or maybe stopping to ask for directions, right?

Memo to City Hall: Wake up and smell the donuts, Tom. The innocent people of your city are under attack, and have been rendered powerless to do anything about it - all in strict accordance with your despicable, feel-good, do-nothing, liberal la-la land, citizen disarmament policies. Way to go, jackass.

What do you say you start standing up for the rights of the law-abiding citizens of Boston and let the criminals fend for themselves for a while? You've done more than enough to help them already. Join our team for a change.

I See What You're Doing...

...now KNOCK IT OFF!

How to Become a Felon in Five Months

If this article doesn't exemplify how completely fucked up Massachusetts' firearms laws are, nothing will.

Man shoots would-be robber; is arrested on gun charges

A would-be robber became a victim of his own crime last week after he was shot in the stomach by a Brighton man he was trying to rob, police said.

Police arrested Sean E. Roisten, 29, of 833 Jette Court, and charged him with unlawful possession of a firearm and assault and battery with a deadly weapon on a robber who was holding Roisten's wife at gunpoint.

Defending his family against an armed intruder? What was this guy thinking? In the "progressive" enclave of Boston, Massachusetts, this is called felony assault. I am seriously close to being unable to type anything at this moment, I am so pissed off.

But, wait, it's gets worse.

Roisten told police he was upstairs in his apartment with his wife and 5-year-old daughter waiting for his friend to return from the store with food when he heard a someone at the front door. Roisten called out, but was met with silence, and his wife went downstairs to see who was at the door, police said. When Roisten's wife opened the door, she was greeted by two men in ski masks and one man forced her back up the stairs at gunpoint, police said.

"He's got a gun!" Roisten told police he heard his wife scream as she was pushed up the stairs. Roisten told police he ran up to the third floor, retrieved his silver Smith and Wesson .40 caliber handgun and took cover behind a kitchen wall. When Roisten peeked around the hallway corner, he saw the robber emerge from the stairs holding his wife in a choke hold and pointing a black handgun at her head, police said.

[snip]

Police found that Roisten's license to carry a gun expired last August and arrested him. Police took custody of Roisten's gun and the black Colt .45 handgun that Roisten claimed he took from the suspect.

Yes, you read that right - his government-issued permission slip had expired. Five months ago, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts declared that he was competent and trustworthy enough to own a firearm for the purpose of defending his family from violent criminals.

But since he neglected to cough up the $100 required by the state to renew that right privilege, he's now considered a dangerous criminal facing felony charges.

No word on whether the masked gunman's firearms license had expired. [\sarcasm]

Thanks to Massachusetts' "common-sense" gun control laws, this individual is now looking at the very real possibility of having contact with his daughter only when she comes to visit him in prison, solely because he took whatever action was necessary to defend his family and to ensure that a trip to the cemetery wouldn't be his daughter's only contact with her mother.

If anyone wants to discuss this further, I'll be at the range. See you there.

Double Entendre, Indeed

From the Department of Cheap and Meaningless Traffic-Generating Posts, comes this story out of Hollywood:

Johanssen 'relaxed' about her boobs

'Lost in Translation' star Scarlett Johansson has told Harpers and Queen magazine that she's quite happy for male co-stars to see her breasts, and she never gets nervous when she has to strip off for sex scenes.

The actress admitted that she didn't think sex scenes were that big a deal.

According to Femalefirst.co.uk quoting Harpers and Queen magazine she said she always tried to relax when things got steamy.

"There are those first few takes where you're like, 'This is awkward', and it's hot and you're almost naked," she said.

"But if someone catches sight of your bare breasts, you think: 'Let them have it and enjoy it for the day."

So now, for your enjoyment, the winner of "The Best Ever Inadvertent Photo Caption" Contest:

We now return to our regularly scheduled blogging already in progress.

Idiocy, the Father of Invention

I stumbled across this article today. Was going to pass on it, but there was so much to work with, it was hard to let it go.

Lee County Man Designs "For Women Only" Gun

A Smiths Station man owns a handgun you don't see everyday. In fact, it's the only one of it's kind. Philip Camp built his personal defense weapon after talking to 50 different women.

"It was designed for women by women. I just took what they wanted in a handgun or a self defense weapon and put it in there," said Camp.

OK, so I assume it's a light-to-medium caliber (somewhere between .25 cal and 38 Special), small-framed revolver with a bobbed hammer for snag-free concealment in a pocketbook? But wait a second, don't these handguns already exist?

What he found is they wanted something with multiple safety features, easy to use, and non-lethal. His gun uses rubber and pepper projectiles and has a maximum effective range of 36 feet. He said women liked the idea of having something just for them.

Oh, never mind. Apparently, all he did was take a can of pepper spray and make it less effective with the addition of "multiple safety features". Slap a pair of tits on this guy and you've got Rosie O'Donnell's dream date.

"We have things for us. We've got big bad guns. We've got big bad rifles, shotguns, pistols of all sorts, but they don't have that that they can call their own," Camp said.

This is bordering on "Too Stupid Too Fisk".

Because this weapon is made specifically for women, there's absolutely no recoil.

Actually, there's no recoil, because it's not a real gun. My 4-cell Maglite has no recoil, but it's as good, if not better, a defensive weapon than this piece of crap.

From the instruction manual: Step 4 - With the device aimed at your attacker, yell "BANG" or "POW", but do try to be polite about it. You don't want to make him angry.

"The biggest thing women were telling me was when they try to shoot their husbands' pistols or revolvers is they kick and hurt their hand, and they're intimidated," said Camp.

And this is the best alternative you could come up with?

If you run out of ammo, just turn it around and hit the attacker.

Please tell me I didn't just read that. If you shoot an attacker with ALL your ammo, and he still advances on you, you seriously need to rethink your defensive tool selection.

"You can drop it, and you can throw it. It will never go off unless it's cocked," said Camp.

Great, it's ineffective AND single-action.

Camp has a license from the federal government, as well as a patent pending on this device. Lee County Sheriff Jay Jones said he thinks this weapon is a good idea.

"Any weapon that doesn't use lethal force is a great alternative," said Jones.

Any bets on whether Sheriff Jones will be ordering these as replacement duty weapons for himself and his deputies?

Thought so.

Camp currently does not have a financial backer or partner for the weapon, but is looking for one. If you are interested in helping him out, you can contact him at (334)214-0095.

Here's some free advice for Mr. Camp. Make sure the front sight on that "weapon" there is sufficiently rounded so it won't hurt so much when these women end up getting violated with it.

This is Compromise?

The United States of America - saving your sorry ass whether you appreciate (read: deserve) it or not.

U.S. Marines expand tsunami relief operations after intensive negotiations with Indonesia about weapons, base camp

U.S. Marines have expanded their role in Sumatra's tsunami relief operation, after days of delays caused by Indonesian objections to armed U.S. troops and the setting up of a base camp on shore, officials said.

Oh, no. God forbid they might see an armed (GASP!) Marine bringing them emergency relief supplies. This would be like Sarah Brady being lost in the woods, and then refusing to be rescued by a group of hunters (assuming the hunters didn't recognize her, and actually offered to help).

In a major compromise, the Marines agreed not to carry guns while on Indonesian soil and for the vast majority of troops to return to ships stationed off the coast after each day's operations.

WTF? Any compromise here should be: YOU get all the food, water, and clothing you can provide. WE get to carry our weapons with us to ensure the safety of our troops delivering said supplies. Who's sitting on our side of the table here? Richard Gere? Typically, when two parties enter into negotiations, each party has a starting point and compromise is reached somewhere in between the two.

What starting point was the Indonesian government working from? Surrender of all U.S. assets and dinner with Lindsay Lohan?

The only thing being compromised here is the safety of our sailors and Marines, plain and simple.

Ace (Ace of Spades HQ) offers this perspective and asks...

Bring the Boys Back Home?

It's too early to call for this yet; but it's not really too early to debate what should be done, if the nearly-inevitable begins to happen.

I'm talking about the very real possibility of radical Muslim psychopaths targeting our soldiers and aid-workers conducting tsunami relief, especially in the Aceh province.

What then?

Rant Wraith wants to know if the New York Times and other liberal institutions will begin reading the names of the dead on a nightly basis should this insane horror come to pass.

I don't want to sound cold-hearted, but if that does happen, I say: Pull out. Immediately. There is a limit to American generosity. And if it should happen that an aid worker or soldier is captured and held for ransom as he or she is attempting to rebuild these ravaged lands, that's enough for me.

We tried. Trying satisfies me.

It's not too far-fetched, given the fact that the government officials in these countries we're trying to help won't allow our troops to tools necessary to defend themselves.

Dumbass of the Day

Page 94 of the Perverts Handbook clearly states, "When hanging snake at a Dunkin' Donuts, make sure your off the clock and NOT operating a GPS-equipped, municipal vehicle at the time."

This guy needs a refresher course.

Must...Resist...

Rather than write something that would inevitably be interpreted by many as a sick joke belittling the suffering of cancer victims and survivors, I'll just leave you with this recent headline.

Olive Oil May Protect Against Breast Cancer

Is There an Echo in Here?

From the Boston Herald:

Punks stab, rob delivery man

For the second time in two weeks, a food delivery man has been jumped, robbed and stabbed in Boston, police said.

Early yesterday morning, a 37-year-old man who recently was hired at the Yum Yum Chinese Restaurant in Dorchester returned to work without realizing he had been stabbed when five or six men jumped him and robbed him, said John Boyle, Boston police spokesman.

Five guys with knives vs. one disarmed subject of the Commonwealth. Apparently, that's how the mayor likes the odds. Wonder who his money's on.

"The victim had been stabbed twice - once in the left buttocks and once in the lower back," Boyle said. The man, whose name was withheld for his safety, was taken to Boston Medical Center with nonlife-threatening injuries.

Well, isn't that special? As if it's not bad enough getting stabbed and robbed while working in a high-risk profession in a city whose leaders do all they can to strip their constituents of the basic human right to self-defense. Now they're saying that should these dirtbags find out who this guy is (not that tough to do), they'd possibly seek to do him (or his family) additional harm.

Good luck, man.

See You Monday

Here's a little something to start your weekend off right.

1. Put down any beverages.
2. Assume a comfortable seated position.
3. Click the audio link HERE.

Criminals Break Laws - Who Knew?

This latest installment of "Massachusetts Gun Control Success Stories" comes from the Boston Herald:

Invading teen gang robs pair at gunpoint

A gang of teens looking for "easy money" robbed a young couple at gunpoint in the middle of the night during a frightening home invasion, one victim said.

"I was terrified, scared for my life when I saw the silencer," said 22-year-old Kurt Massey, who woke to five men [remember: no one NEEDS "high capacity" firearms] pounding on the door of his Dedham apartment.

One of the semiautomatic pistols had a silencer, he said, adding that he thought that meant they were going to kill him. Two men had guns and one had a baseball bat.

Massey said his girlfriend answered the door about 2 a.m. and was "thrown across the room," and started screaming before he could get there.

Rather than lead off with my usual rant on how stories like this exemplify the utter failure of Massachusetts' gun control laws, which only result in a population of unarmed, defenseless victims, I'm going to ask one question?

What kind of man, when awoken by a bunch of strangers banging on his door at 2:00 in the morning, sends his girlfriend to answer the door?

Now if this event were to unfold at the Du Toit household, Kim and the Mrs. would most likely argue over who's turn it was to answer the door, and who was to provide cover.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled program (DHBA* activated). Let's recap, shall we? I'm no legal expert, but I think I got all these right.

Home Invasion - illegal
Possession of a handgun by a minor - illegal
Possession of a silencer - illegal
Assault with a deadly weapon - illegal
Assault and battery - illegal
Armed robbery - illegal

Sensing a pattern yet? Massachusetts politicians are always touting the "fact" that we have the most sensible and effective gun control (oh, sorry, gun SAFETY) laws in the country. Kurt Massey and his girlfriend might beg to differ on that one.

Remember, to own a gun in Massachusetts, you have to demonstrate a "need" to do so. So, all Mr. Massey had to do was to ask these nice young men if they wouldn't mind coming back in 60 days or so. That would allow him the time to take a firearms safety course, explain the situation at this apartment to the police while applying for his gun license, and purchase a firearm suitable for home defense. And that's IF the chief of police in Dedham determined he had sufficient "need".

Note: these standards NEVER apply to criminals who are the only class of people in the state that has a constitutionally protected right to bear arms.

Common sense, right?

* Dead Horse Beating Alert

You're Gonna Love This

If this story doesn't shatter what little remaining faith you might have in the American public "education" system, nothing will.

WESTMINSTER, Md. -- When a Carroll County, Md., high school had an emergency evacuation, everyone got out except for two students who were confined to wheelchairs.

They were abandoned in the stairwell on the second floor.

How could something like this happen? Was it an oversight caused by the confusion that often accompanies an emergency situation like this one? Was it just an act of cold-heartedness? A practical joke gone sour?

Nope. It was something far more insidious - school policy.

WBAL-TV in Baltimore said there is a policy at Westminster High School for what to do with the two students in wheelchairs in case of a fire. The policy said because their classrooms are on the second floor, teachers are to lead them to the second-floor stairwell and leave them there and wait for the fire crews to come to their rescue while everyone else evacuates.

[snip]

Jeremy wasn't alone waiting in the school stairwell as it filled with smoke. Robin Miller's son Brian, the only other child in the school with a wheelchair, was with him.

I don't have the time, energy, or desire right now to go on about how absolutely friggin' idiotic this is, so I'll let Joe Kelly from The Sake of Argument provide the summation.

I'm truly stumped - I don't know which is more asinine, the policy that calls for leaving wheelchair-bound students inside a burning building, or the teachers and students who'd follow such a policy.

Upon Reflection - vol. 4

On Being Paranoid

It is perfectly acceptable to be more than a little bit paranoid when being approached from behind and the only sounds you hear are a .22 pellet gun being pumped and a sugar pack being opened and poured down the barrel.

Poker? I Hardly Know Her

Well, after a long hiatus, we finally have a poker game scheduled for Friday night. Back in the day, my friends and I used to play once-a-week - RELIGIOUSLY. We started out playing with whatever change we could scrounge up, which resulted in everyone showing up with Crown Royal bags or tube socks full of nickels, dimes, and quarters.

Those days are gone and we actually play with poker chips and real money now. Who knew poker chips could be so convenient for playing poker with? We went from an old cookie tin filled with assorted cheapo plastic poker chips to a set of better quality plastic chips that I keep in my garage/poker room.

So, tonight I'm buying myself a late Christmas present. Costco has this set for $59.99 (if there are any left). 500 chips (11.5g) in an aluminum case, with two decks of cards, and 5 dice. Just what I need in my house (not), more dice.

But, hey, the price is right. They sell on-line for anywhere from 75 to 90 bucks a set.

Here's a close-up shot.

What's Wrong With This Picture?

I wasn't planning on blogging this much today (really), but when Reuters and the Associated Press insist on dropping gifts like this on my virtual doorstep, it's awfully hard to resist.

Thai Rescuers Save Trapped Dolphin, Calf Missing

Wed Jan 5, 9:00 AM ET Top Stories - Reuters

KHAO LAK, Thailand (Reuters) - Rescuers have saved a dolphin swept over a Thai beach by the tsunami that devastated shores around the Indian Ocean, but failed on Wednesday to find her calf in a filthy lake left behind by the giant wave.

After two days of bickering between Thai and foreign experts over how to save the Indo-Pacific humpback dolphins, the adult animal was finally plucked from the lake in a net and released into the sea more than 1 km (1,100 yards) away.

"She swam away like a rocket. It was fantastic," said animal rescue expert Edwin Wiek. "I thought she was going to be a lot weaker."

Now, I'm not saying the Thai authorities have their priorities all screwed up here (yes, I am) , BUT...

Some 5,246 people died when the tsunami hit the Thai coastline, 8,457 were injured and 3,720 are missing.

More than 12,000 people in their country are listed as injured or missing, and they spend TWO DAYS, and what limited manpower and resources they DO have saving ONE FRIGGIN' DOLPHIN? So nice to see all those American dollars being used in such a prudent manner.

And You Re-enlisted WHY?

It's not often that I will refer to anyone wearing the uniform of the United States Marines a total pussy, but there are exceptions to every rule.

Marine Jailed for Refusing to Pick Up Gun

41 minutes ago

By ESTES THOMPSON, Associated Press Writer

RALEIGH, N.C. - A soldier who re-enlisted with the Marines after becoming a Seventh-Day Adventist has been jailed for refusing to pick up a gun

Cpl. Joel D. Klimkewicz, 24, of Birch Run, Mich., was sentenced last month in a court-martial to seven months in Camp Lejeune's brig. He also received a reduction in rank to private and a bad conduct discharge.

Klimkewicz was charged with refusing to obey order two years to draw a weapon from his unit's armory for a training exercise in preparation for an Iraq deployment.

Good grief.

Coincidence?

Or an omen, perhaps?

What does Blogger know, and how long have they known it? The people deserve ANSWERS!

Acts of Random Drudgery

One of the few resolutions I pretended to make entering the new year this time around was to avoid linking any story from Drudge or Instapundit. It's not like people are flocking here in droves for late-breaking news. Anyway, I figure I'd start by breaking that resolution with this Drudge Report three-fer.

Thanks, But No Thanks...

Dick.

Hi, I'm Richard Gere, and I'm speaking for the entire world.

All Things Considered...

I'd rather have Ashlee "No-talent Pop-tart Hack" Simpson as my spokesperson.

Hey, What Do You Know?

There are two America's after all. Just consider yourself lucky not to live in the one inhabited by U.S. Representative John Conyers - D(uh) and his compassionate "progressive" staffers.

The director of a Detroit food bank wants to know what happened to 60 turkeys -- 720 pounds of frozen birds -- that his charity gave to members of U.S. Rep. John Conyers' local staff two days before Thanksgiving to give to needy people.

Conyers' Detroit office promised an accounting of any turkey distribution by Dec. 27, but the Gleaners Community Food Bank had received no paperwork as of Tuesday, said the charity's director, Agostinho Fernandes.

Fernandes said he became suspicious that the turkeys didn't get to poor people after hearing from a friend that a federal court worker had said he was offered free turkeys from a member of Conyers' staff.

The Party of the People: Stealing Christmas turkeys from the poor and down-trodden, and authoring legislation that would forcibly ship their kids off to war.

What's not to like?

Machete Control Now!

Well, this doesn't exactly give me a case of the warm-and-fuzzies.

Eastie gang linked to al-Qaeda

A burgeoning East Boston-based street gang made up of alleged rapists and machete-wielding robbers has been linked to the al-Qaeda terrorist network, prompting Boston police to "turn up the heat" on its members, the Herald has learned.

MS-13, which stands for La Mara Salvatrucha, is an extremely violent organization with roots in El Salvador, and boasts more than 100 "hardcore members" in East Boston who are suspected of brutal machete attacks, rapes and home invasions. There are hundreds more MS-13 gangsters in towns along the North Shore, said Boston police Sgt. Detective Joseph Fiandaca, who has investigated the gang since it began tagging buildings in Maverick Square in 1995.

Where's Mayor Menino's press release on this? Machete-wielding Al-Qaeda operatives are attacking, robbing, and raping the people in his city, and the main focus of his agenda so far in the new year has been to go after the people who save their parking spaces with folding chairs? Well, you got to have priorities, I guess.

And once again, as if you didn't see this coming, I'd to take to take this opportunity to thank our ever-benevolent elected officials for Massachusetts' "common-sense" gun control laws. I mean, we can't have potential rape victims bringing handguns to machete fights now, can we? That would reduce the foreign-born terrorist population in the greater Boston area. And then we'd be less diverse. Horrors.

The theory that Salvadoran criminals manage to smuggle people over the border was bolstered this month when two Boston men described as MS-13 leaders were spotted on the North Shore days before Christmas - a year after they were deported by Boston Homeland Security Immigration and Customs Enforcement investigators for gang-related crimes.

Well, that plan worked like a charm, eh? More support for my theory that the effectiveness of any government-controlled organization is inversely proportional to the number of words in its name.

One of the two men, Elmer "Tiger" Tejada, 24, who had been deported after being convicted of a slew of crimes, including attempted murder charges for hurling a machete at Chelsea cops, was busted in Lynn on New Year's Day. Tejada is described as "an original MS-13 member" from East Boston, sources said.

I hear that in his senior year he was voted "Most Likely to Pop a Cap in the Ass of Anyone Who Called Him By His Real Name".

A manhunt has been launched for the second fugitive, who is in the country illegally, Boston police said.

NO! I'm stunned, I tell you. Stunned.

UPDATE (1/8/05): Michelle Malkin has more (with links and links and links).

Food Drink For Thought

If your blood alcohol content exceeds Ted Williams' 1941 batting average, the moral and legal quandary over whether it's acceptable to pee in public should be the least of your concerns.

Lee Day, of the 200 block of Elm Street, was picked up by police 30 minutes before midnight on Dec. 23 after he was allegedly observed urinating "in plain view" in the parking lot at the 7-Eleven on West High Street.

"He was obviously intoxicated," Ziegler said.

That will prove to be a strong contender for the "2005 Understatement of the Year Award".

Day refused medical treatment, but when he passed out again, police took him to Pottstown Memorial Medical Center, said Ziegler.

Day’s blood-alcohol level was .409, said Ziegler.

Man, is that hangover gonna SUCK.

(link via Acidman)

UPDATE: Never mind.

SOFIA, Bulgaria -- Incredulous doctors made five blood tests on a drunken man to confirm he had a blood-alcohol content of 0.914, far above the usual life-threatening range, police and doctors said Tuesday.

MATH TIME

From this site:

The human body contains up to ten pints of blood. Red blood cells are formed at a rate of 2 million per second.

Using this number, we get:

10 pints = 160 ounces.

160 oz. blood x 0.914% alcohol = 1.46 oz. pure alcohol in his circulatory system

1.46 oz. pure alcohol (200 proof) = 3.65 oz. of scotch (80-proof)

Damn, I could probably catch a decent buzz these days just by drinking that much scotch (or at least thoroughly enjoy the effort), let alone mainlining it.

Raving Dingbat du Jour

Well, it had been a while since I delved into the Letters to the Editor section of the Boston Globe. I'm glad I set foot in there this morning, otherwise I might have missed this beauty from one Randy Hackett of Ipswich, which I'm beginning to think (read: hope and pray) was actually written as a piece of satire that found its way past the editors at the Globe.

I ADMIRE those standing out in the cold to publicize the fact that our electoral system is broken, but I think the reporter's angle was misguided ("Group holds fast to Kerry cause with Beacon Hill vigil," City & Region, Dec. 29).

I agree. Donovan Slack, the reporter who wrote that piece never once used the phrase "asshat", "moonbat", or "stark raving nutjob". See this earlier post for more info.

The focus was on Kerry supporters and their fight to allow him to be president. What the Coalition for Election Fraud seems most concerned with, as are tens of thousands of Americans, is making sure everyone's votes count. There are now several legal challenges to certifying the Ohio vote, including one joined by the Kerry camp based on allegations of a voting machine company rigging the recount.

First off, numbnuts, these brave souls whom you professes to admire so deeply call themselves the Coalition AGAINST Election Fraud.

Strike one! Though, your version might be a more accurate representation of their organization's mission statement.

And yes, their main concern IS making sure that "everyone's votes count", regardless of the voter eligibility status of the individual casting said vote. And I sincerely hope your pluralizing of the word "vote" there was inadvertent, but I'm not going to bet the farm on it.

Strike two!

On the 0-2 count, here's the wind up...

Schilling throws to the plate...

With privatized electronic voting controlled by secretive Republican-leaning corporations, voting software that is pathetically hackable, widespread voter suppression, minority voter disenfranchisement, avowedly partisan secretaries of states, and this year's suspicious exit polls, perhaps there should be a lot more people out in the streets.

And he's OUTTA THERE!

You Can't Spell "Pound Sand"...

...without "UN".

Apology Accepted

One more cheap shot at the Dark Lord of Meningrad*, then it's back to work. No, really, I mean it this time.

* Sorry, just finished watching the extended version of The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Twenty Bucks and a Sandwich

The City of Boston application for a License to Carry a Firearm (form G13) contains this section:

REASON FOR ISSUING PERMIT:

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

How's this for a reason? There are people walking the streets where I live who will stab you in the gut for 20 bucks and a chicken cutlet sandwich.

Herrera said the store got a phone call order for a chicken cutlet sandwich, small pizza and a grape soda about 7:33 p.m. He said it was a first-time caller, who asked that the food be delivered to 40 Mattapan St.. When Rodriguez arrived just after 8 p.m., the robbers struck, stealing between $20 and $30 and taking the food valued at $16.11.

Sorry, that's not a valid reason. That's just being paranoid, unlike, say, the realistic viewpoint our enlightened leaders hold that putting a loaded firearm in the hands of a responsible, law-abiding citizen will instantly turn him into a crazed trigger-happy murderer, resulting in the end of civilization as we know it.

Side note: The grape soda would have tipped me off. Who the hell drinks grape soda anymore? [homer]Mmmmm...syrupy fizzy purple drink.[/homer]

Bitch Bitch Bitch

How could even the most anti-American, left-coast liberal (sorry - progressive) bedwetter complain about the US sending the following emergency response equipment and personnel to the tsunami-stricken countries in Indonesia?

Water purification facilities
Sheet metal fabrication shop
Massive electrical generators
Food preparation and distribution facilities
Medical supplies and personnel
Hospital and surgical facilities
Search and rescue operations

Simple, when it's in the form of an evil, bloodthirsty, American military 'machine of war', the sole purpose of which - as we all know, after being lectured by these surviving brain donors - is to bomb third-world inhabitants to dust and fuse their remains into glass (which, of course, will then be used to create the crystal wine goblets for das Bush-fuhrer's bunker).

(links via Four Right Wing Wackos and Random Nuclear Strikes)

Who You Gonna Call?

From today's Boston Herald, a story on the recent tragedy that took the lives of five local fishermen:

The families of five fishermen lost at sea memorialized them at a service in New Bedford yesterday and asked Sen. Edward M. Kennedy and U.S. Rep. Barney Frank for help changing regulations they say force fishermen to stay at sea in bad weather.

Well, he IS an expert at hightailing it back to shore.

New Bedford Mayor Frederick M. Kalisz Jr. said he will travel to Washington Thursday to meet with William Hogarth of the National Marine Fisheries Service for clarification of current fishing regulations that he said can penalize fishermen up to 3,000 pounds of their allowable catch if they cut off a trip.

OK, I'm going to plead "total lack of knowledge or expertise" here. Maybe some of my readers could explain the logic (or lack thereof) that went into this. It does appear that the mayor of New Bedford is taking the more sensible approach to the problem. I mean, is Teddy Kennedy the person you want to be calling on for help in reducing or eliminating potentially harmful, and seemingly illogical, government regulations? Come on, he lives for that shit!

Seeing as it's too early in the morning to come up with a witty analogy here to close the post, feel free to leave your two cents worth of closing thoughts in the comments.

New Hampshire

What's not to love?





Sounds like a plan to me.

Story and more photos here.