24 - The Afternoon After

Episode 10: 4:00 PM to 5:00 PM

Bruce's Five-Point Review

1. Someone must be listening. I don't think Audrey said anything annoying in last night's episode. Note to the writers: KEEP HER AND JACK SEPARATED AT ALL TIMES.

2. Quote of the Hour

"What would you like us to do, Mr. Manning?"

~ Red Shirt Guy #2

Good call, Red Shirt Guy #2

3. Agent Pierce, is the man! He made up for Jack's pathetically low season-to-date bodycount by capping the terrorists from the front seat of the limo. Honors for Kill Recipe of the Year (so far, anyway) go to Secret Service agent Aaron Pierce for his mouthwatering Terrorist Flambe.

4. You gotta respect a guy who keeps a remote-controlled clipboard bomb on his desktop 24-7. You really can't be too careful these days. Though, Robocop guy, off all people, should have known that you can't kill Jack Bauer with something as indirect as a remotely-detonated clipboard bomb. Didn't any of these terrorists ever watch Batman? Those plans never work.

5. Ducking under the raised access flooring at the last second before the bomb went off? Good call, your Bauerness. Now, did they forget to screw every panel into their steel pedestals underneath, or did Jack just get lucky and find the one panel the contractor missed?

Oh, I forgot. Jack Bauer doesn't get lucky. Lucky gets Jack Bauer..

What Was My First Clue?

I'm thinking this might not be legit.

From: PayPaI Notice
Subject: You have succesful added your new email to your account!

Gee, and all I have to do to "confirm this email address" is click the link they sent and enter my password. What could be easier?

Honestly, if you've been scammed by these assholes, and had your PayPal account drained, it's probably for the better. A lack of intelligence and the presence of spending money can be a volatile mix. And, chnaces are, you need to look no further than your own state legislature to see that.

Free Bumper Sticker - Condi 2008

OK, so it's not exactly "free", as it will set you back the cost of two stamps, but "78-Cent Bumper Sticker" just doesn't roll off the tongue as well.

Click here to get yours.

Just Checking In

Just when thought I might have this bug whipped, it jumps up and kicks me in the ass again. I'm hoping to be back to normal (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) by tomorrow morning.

We shall see.

One quick note: On tonight's episode of "24", I sense more disappointment on the way. Having watched Disc 1 of Season 4 last night (I had missed the first three episodes prior to getting hooked last year), it made me realize again how much more of a bad-ass Jack was back then.

What happened?

House Guns

OK, I'll play along.

Picking up on this recurring theme posted recently by Say Uncle, here is my contribution to the "House Guns" conversation.

Currently, my house guns are my only guns. My bedside gun, which is kept loaded (no round chambered) and locked in my DAC Sportsafe (now only $55.44 at walmart.com!), is my Ruger P345 - loaded with eight rounds of 230 gr. jacketed hollowpoints.

(click for larger pic)

My "Katrina gun", which is stored in a lesser state of readiness, is my Remington 870 Express Magnum 12-ga. shotgun, with 4+1 rounds of low-recoil 00 buckshot on standby in the pistol safe.

(click for larger pic)

Note: I reserve the right to modify this post as budgetary matters allow.

My Next Governor

Alternate Post Title: Reason #...ah, fuck it, I lost count.

From the New Hampshire Union Leader:

Concord -– Gov. John Lynch said yesterday he is eager to add the state'’s "“Live Free or Die"” motto to welcome signs along state borders.

The Senate approved a bill yesterday that would change or replace new welcome signs that began springing up last year to add the state motto. In place of blue and yellow welcome signs, the state began erecting signs with a beige background that show a small village and the slogan, "You're going to love it here."

"You're going to love it here"??? How much did they pay some marketing "genius" to come up with that vapid piece of crap?

Lynch said it's no idle rumor that he wants to get rid of the new signs.

"It's true. I want to be there when they take out the first one," he said yesterday. The new signs "don't say anything about us. Those signs could be put up in any state in the country," he said.

Well, almost any state.

The bill, SB 400, requires that all signs display the motto "prominently." It includes an estimate that the state would spend about $10,000 on sign changes. The state has roughly 50 of the signs, mostly at interstate and state highway border crossings.

Only ten grand? That's not so bad.

The way I see it, if the new signs manage to scare just one Massachusetts liberal into not moving to the Granite State, and bringing all his big-government-loving, anti-personal responsibility, gun-fearing psychoses with him, it will be ten grand well spent.

UPDATE: Per Kristopher's request, via SignMaker:

I Must Be Getting Better

The snot I'm blowing out of my nose today no longer looks like it jumped off the color palette used to design the kitchen from The Brady Bunch.

UPDATE: On Brian's recommendation...

If you can, ask your wife to find a Thai restraunt and have her bring home som Tom Yum Soup. Whenever I get sick I eat that and next day good as new.

...I grabbed the menu for Thai Spice in West Roxbury to have a look.


Bingo.

Now, if that does the trick, it'll be the best $3.50 I've ever spent.

UPDATE: Just got back from Thai Spice, and as of 12:28 this afternoon, I am breathing out of both nostrils. What do they put in that stuff?

I figure that soup and the quart of Fruit Punch Gatorade I'm working on will have me back on my feet in no time. Though, it remains to be seen how long the effects of this miracle drug, Tom Yum Soup, will last, so I might have to go out for a bowl at dinnertime.

They're open 'til 10:00.

I Guess We had To See This One Coming

mAss Backwards - 6/27/05:

Yes, gun control has been SO successful in Chicago that an expensive surveillance system of high-tech cameras and microphones is now being installed to detect and track down the source of all that gunfire that must not exist in the first place.

Boston Globe - 2/24/06:

A sophisticated acoustic gunshot detection system that has helped detectives in North Charleston, S.C., solve a homicide, and police in Gary, Ind., make 15 gun arrests in a single night may be on its way to Boston.

Councilor Robert Consalvo wants to equip the city with a network of acoustic sensors, each the size of a 1-pound can of coffee, which can pinpoint the sound of gunfire within 30 feet of its origin and dispatch police to shooting scenes in less than 10 seconds. Consalvo said he believes such a network can help police make arrests and stem Boston's wave of gun violence, particularly since much of it is concentrated in small ''red zones" that total about a half-square-mile.

The obvious sardonic humor behind such a system being proposed for the land of the "most effective gun laws in the nation" aside (as well as the fact that it's currently being installed in gun-free Washington D.C.), this represents a major improvement in Councilor Consalvo's way of thinking.

Targeting the illegal use of guns! That's a wild concept.

Sure, it will end up costing tens of millions of dollars to install, operate, and maintain such a system. And, yeah, we can look for all kinds of new "fees" to be imposed on us to pay for it. And, of course, it's implementation will not be accompanied by any efforts on Beacon Hill to restore the 2nd Amendment rights of the law-abiding residents of Boston. But, other than that, and given their (Consalvo, Menino, Barrios, Reilly, Linsky, et al) past track record on this subject, I say you gotta count your blessings when you can.

And, then move out.

Sick Day

So, today I'm taking my first sick day in over two years. This cold I've been fighting this past week is feakin' killing me. What to do? What to do?

Blog or bed?

Rant or rest?

Sudoku or sleep?

Why is it spelled phlegm?

Why did I stay up to watch the end of Americal Idol, instead of hitting the sack like a sane person would have in my condition?

Will Hoppes #9 clear my sinuses?

So many questions, so few fully-functional brain cells in my head right now.

What? No Explosives?

Check out this vile piece of right-wing propaganda my wife checked out of the Boston Public Library for our 3-1/2 year-old daughters' bedtime stories. This only things missing are violent video games and trans fats.

This book has it all - alcohol...


tobacco...


and firearms.



Question: If I were to write a letter to the BPL, pretending to be horribly offended - not to mention, emotionally damaged (cha-ching!) - by this awful, awful book, how long (in hours minutes) would it take them to pull every copy from the shelves of all their branch libraries throughout the city?

And, if you're looking for a laugh (and by that, I mean laughing at people who are bigger losers than yourself - frankly, the best kind of laughter there is), be sure to check out the negative reviews at the amazon.com page linked above.

Not-So-Great Moments in Advertising

Not to be too much of a nitpicker here, but as long as we're getting all PC over this, shouldn't this ad read, "African American skivvies"?

A Week and a Half

I have a question for Boston Police Commissioner Kathleen O'Toole, who has repeatedly voiced her opinion that Massachusetts needs to tighten its regulations on gun ownership.

How on earth will additional restrictions on the rights of law-abiding gun owners have any impact on the gun-related violence taking place in our city - all at the hands of individuals not legally permitted to own firearms - when some 16-year-old gangbanger wannabe, with a criminal record can get busted for illegal gun possession and end up doing only 11 days in the can?

The 16-year-old Roxbury boy paralyzed for life after being shot Saturday night may have been targeted by gangbangers, the boy'’s aunt said yesterday.

"This escalated from when he was locked up in DYS and had an altercation with some gang members," said Dominic Hill'’s aunt, Carol, who requested that her last name not be used.

Hill had three short stays with the Department of Youth Services, according to agency spokesman Edward Dolan. The teen spent 16 days in custody in July 2003 on an armed robbery charge, 12 days in January 2005 for an undisclosed reason and 11 days in September on a gun possession charge.

ELEVEN FRIGGIN' DAYS!

If this is in any way reflective of Mayor Menino's latest "getting tough on crime - and this time we mean it" campaign, we're fucked.

Thanks to some "compassionate" (read: progressive) judge wasting valuable bench space in the Massachusetts judiciary, this punk wasn't in prison where he belongs, and was subsequently shot on the streets of Boston, and paralyzed for life, by some of his useless dirtbag friends. Hell, I'd say six months would have been too lenient a sentence, but at least he'd have walked out of prison at the end of it.

Yet, according to our "leaders" like O'Toole here , what we really need are more laws. FTC^TM.

Life Outside the People's Republic

Well, it happened again. Boston Mayor Tom Menino's worst nightmare has come true - this time, in Louisiana.

Meet Perry Stephens, a licensed gun owner who was in the right place at the right time. When he heard a police officer calling for help after being overpowered by his assailant, Mr. Stephens drew his handgun and shot and killed the man after he refused to back off, possibly saving the officer's life.

From The Advocate (LA):

The East Baton Rouge Parish Sherrif's (sic) Office announced Monday that the gunshot that left one man dead after an altercation with a Baton Rouge Police Department officer was fired by a bystander trying to help.

"Trying to help"? Interesting slant there. Keep reading.

Officer Brian Harrison pulled 24-year-old George Temple over after he cut off a funeral procession. After Harrison pulled Temple over and wrote him a ticket, the two began to fight. Temple got the best of the officer and was on top of him, and Harrison called for help.

Perry Stephens came to Harrison's aid and shot and killed Temple.

Thank goodness our mayor and police commissioner, courageous people of principle, indeed, won't stand for any of that uncivilized behavior. Why we can't have citizens roaming the streets of our town with the ability to save police officers' lives now, can we? How barbaric!

Not surprisingly, Mumbles and O'Toole are not alone in their adherence to such an indefensible philosophy. It is also shared by the local chapter of the NAACP down in Baton Rouge.

"We are outraged in the African-American community that a traffic violation could escalate to the killing of a young businessman," Kwame Asante, president of the local chapter of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, said Tuesday.

Any outrage, Kwame, toward the "young businessman" who punched a police officer in the face, and thenwrestledd him to the ground over a traffic violation? I'm guessing not. To take a stand against that kind of behavior would carry with it the crazy implication that responsible people, living in a free society, are expected to be held accountable for their actions. And that sure makes it hard to blame all our hardships on global warming and Dick Cheney's top-secret ties to Halliburton, doesn't it? And, where's the fun in that?

Among other things, Asante said, people want to know what led to the fight between Temple and Harrison, and why Stephens wasn'’t arrested for shooting Temple five times with a .45-caliber handgun.

Um...maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with the fact that Mr. Temple was in the process of physically assaulting a police officer at the time of the shooting.

Of course, the relatives of the deceased are carrying on, as can be predicted, about what a squeaky clean individual he was, and how he didn't have a violent or angry bone in his body. I guess that all depends on your definition of squeaky.

Phares said that investigators found a handgun in Temple'’s car, but that it did not play a part in the altercation.

[snip]

According to court records, Temple was on probation for simple battery and simple damage to property at the time of his death.

A case against him also was pending involving counts of simple battery, simple trespassing and simple criminal damage to property, according to records at the Clerk of Court'’s office.

He was on probation? With a handgun in his car?

I don't know Louisiana firearms law, but that sounds like a no-no to me.

Now, compare The Advocate's version of this story to the one published recently by the Boston Globe:

Big surprise there.

Not one word of this incident to be found anywhere in the pages of the Boston Globe. Did they simply miss this one? Did they just feel it wasn't local enough to warrant coverage? Am I over-reacting when I accuse the Globe of refusing to publish stories that run contrary to their political viewpoint on the subject of gun control and gun rights?

I don't think so.

A disgruntled postal employee opens fire in a post office - in California? Run with it!

A kid brings a gun to a daycare center, and shoots a playmate in the arm - in Maryland? Why, that's front page news!

A high school shooting - in Minnesota? STOP THE PRESSES!

An armed citizen coming to the aid of a fallen police officer - in Louisiana? You guessed it.

So, remember kids, guns can only be used for eeeevil.

And, damn it, the good people of the national media, who know what's best for you, are going to remind you of that "fact" at every opportunity.

Exercises in Futility

From the lovely town of Taunton, Massachusetts, which, for those of you with an interest in trivia, derives its name from the Iriquois word meaning "chock-full of scumbags":

The woman told police she was sleeping when she was awakened by Bindon who was pulled her from the bed by her hair.

The woman said Bindon dragged her out of the bedroom and pushed her down a flight of stairs.

She said he came at her again, picked her up off the floor and threw her through the storm door, breaking the plexiglass.

She told police he pushed her off the outside cement stairs and she landed on the cement walkway.

The woman said Bindon began yelling at her, threatening to kill her and kicking her as she lay on the walkway.

Fear not, help is on the way.

Judge Catherine Sabaitis issued an emergency abuse prevention order against Bindon.

OK? So, knock it off, pal!

Be nice!

That's an order!

Keeping Tabs On the "Bad Guys"

Are you a law-abiding citizen who wants to own a gun in Massachusetts?

You're looking at a 100 percent chance of having pages of personal information carefully scrutinized and dutifully entered into the state's Criminal History Systems Board database (name, address, phone number, date and place of birth, mother's maiden name, father's name, citizenship status, employment status, height, weight, eye and hair color, etc.).

Are you a criminal who has committed a violent crime in Massachusetts and is looking to leave the state to start a new life of thuggery?

You're in luck, my friend! The odds of having all this personal information - along with information pertaining to your criminal record - entered into the state's computer systems have now dropped to less than 5 percent!

From FOX 25 News:

Dangerous Criminals: Part 1, Part 2

Anchor: Dangerous criminals from Massachusetts may be off the hook... Once they leave the state! A Fox Undercover investigation revealed tens thousands of people wanted for serious crimes are not listed in the national database used by law enforcement across the country.

Now our investigative unit has learned the state has known about this problem for years!

Investigative reporter Mike Beaudet is here with the troubling truth about criminals left out of the system.

Beaudet: The system is NCIC, the National Crime Information Center. Police across the country use it when they pull someone over to see if they're dealing with a dangerous criminal who's wanted in another state.

But Massachusetts is failing miserably when it comes to entering information about our wanted criminals into the system.

Now we have proof the state has been well aware of the problem. A special state senate report released in 1999 highlighted the state's failures. But still nothing's been done to fix it!

Can you spell "P-R-I-O-R-I-T-I-E-S"?

Our investigation found that out of 104,543 outstanding warrants for felonies and serious misdemeanors in Massachusetts, only 4,849 have been entered into the FBI database. That's less than 5 percent!

Violent Massachusetts fugitives could be living in other states, getting driver's licenses, even gun permits.

RTWT

Aside from a few puffs of smoke still emanating from the anal orifices of a handful of fawning Boston Globe reporters and city councilors, Boston Mayor Tom "Blame New Hampshire" Menino was unavailable for comment.

Mumblespeak Assembly Instructions

1. Blow smoke (A) up ass (B).
2. Repeat Step 1 as necessary.

24 - The Morning After

Episode 9: 3:00 PM to 4:00 PM

Bruce's Five-Point Review

1. Hey, whadda you know. Audrey said something really annoying in the first five minutes of the show. I don't even remember what she said now, but trust me, it was annoying.

Also, Audrey, could you waste more time chatting with Nathanson, and then with Jack before putting the damn call through? I mean it's not like Nathanson was being aggressively hunted by a platoon of skilled terrorist assassins at the time he was talking to you. No, he had all the time in the world for a little chat. Hell, I'm surprised you didn't take that opportunity to talk to Jack some more about your feeeeeeelings.

At least she told Lynn to go screw. So she's not completely useless.

2. Speaking of annoying, as far as annoying subplots are concerned, the whole thing about Lynn's crackhead sister and her dirtbag boyfriend really isn't doing much for me. Maybe later on, if Jack gets to torture the both of them, things will improve on this front.

3. And, speaking of (dust speck-proportioned) improvements, Jack's bodycount technically did increase two-fold this hour. I counted two terrorists dropped by Jack, and one by Nathanson - who illustrated quite nicely the idea of using your small gun to get to a big gun.

Side gripe: How many movies have you seen on where a bad guy get taken out, and the good guy just keeps on running without even thinking about taking the dead guy's gun? Hello???? It's not like he needs it anymore. And, it might just come in handy, you know, what with all the remaining bad guys still trying to kill you. Just a suggestion.

But, I digress.

4. Was there a memo circulated recently to all government agencies, private corporations, and terrorist cells calling for the adoption of a standard top-secret microchip interface, so that any chip used to encode secret information will be compatible with all government-issued cell phones and PDA's?

I have a hard enough time getting my cell phone charger to plug in just right. How can it be that every crucial piece of data that Jack gets his hands on (exactly three and a half seconds before his sources succumb to their gunshot wounds) is embedded in a chip that conveniently plugs right into his phone for upload to Chloe's workstation?

And, speaking of Chloe, how long are they going to make up wait before she gets to shoot someone. Come on, Lynn, GIVE HER A REASON!

5. Curtis threatens to draw his weapon on Goonie-boy. Best previews yet.

To Serve and Protect

...and to state the bleeding obvious.

Police Investigate Shooting Of Teen In Lowell

[The victim] was found inside a car with several gunshot wounds to the upper torso.

[snip]

Police say they are treating the teen’s death as a homicide.

You think?

Blame It On the Weather

Check out this headline from the Brockton Enterprise:

Cold weather blamed for Taunton store break-in

Oh, really?

A Bridgewater man was charged after he smashed the door of a Brooks pharmacy Sunday to escape the freezing cold temperatures, police said.

Drew M. Taylor, 19, of 455 Vernon St., admitted to police that he smashed the door to Brooks pharmacy at 175 Dean St. around 3:30 a.m. Sunday.

Taylor told police he was freezing and didn't know what else to do, so he picked up a cement planter and hurled it through the front door.

[snip]

He also admitted to police that he has been drinking too much.

I'm guessing "Shit-faced loser blamed for Taunton store break-in" didn't make it past the editors.

Just What We Need - More Gun Control

As much as I'd like to get into a more detailed post responding to this Boston Globe article, I promised my dead horse he could have President's Day weekend off. Besides, there's not a lot of new material here, just the predictable regurgitation - by the usual suspects - of the Brady Bunch talking points memos calling for a ban on the FN Herstal Five-seveN handgun, and its "cop-killer" ammunition.

Legislators voice fear on new armor-piercing weapons

Data show guns may reach gangs

Shit, they needed "data" to tell them that? Is the time-tested truism that criminals can get their hands on anything they want (drugs, guns, money), regardless of its legal status, some kind of revelation for these people? Are they just now waking up to this?

Fucking brilliant, I say.

So, who's up for a quick study in contradictions?

US Representative Martin T. Meehan said he has cosponsored legislation that would ban a handgun called the "FN Five-Seven."

[snip]

"It's very easy to get ahold of bullets that pierce body armor," Meehan said.

[snip]

[Rick DeMilt, a spokesman for FNH-USA] said that the company's more powerful gun and ammunition, available only to military and law enforcement agencies, is strictly regulated, and that his company cannot be responsible for illegal sales of the more powerful ammunition.

[snip]

DeMilt says the commercially available bullets can penetrate body armor only in rare cases.

But Meehan said that was not true, and even if it were, it is not difficult for criminals to buy the armor-piercing bullets on the black market.

Therein lies the gaping disconnect from reality that exists in the feebly-lit minds of those who see gun control legislation as a remedy to all our societal woes.

In one breath they propose banning the sale of handguns to law-abiding citizens, to get them "off the streets". In the very next breath they acknowledge that criminals intent on violating the law will have no problem buying ammunition for the hopefully-soon-to-be-banned handguns on the black market.

Just where do they think the criminals are getting their guns in the first place?

Bottom line - and stop me if you've herard this one before - is that laws such as this affect only those citizens prone to - wait for it - obeying the law. The principle of supply and demand that drives the black market cannot be wished away by any level of feel-good, hand-holding, fairy tale adventures in lawmaking.

A couple "quick" points before I go. I'm starting to hear some grumblings of discontent from the stable. Also from the above-linked Boston Globe article:

Legislators expressed concern yesterday over the distribution of a new firearm that can pierce body armor, after internal Boston police documents confirmed that the powerful weapon was used in two recent shootings in the city, and that it may have fallen into the hands of Boston street gangs.

[snip]

DeMilt said Massachusetts is the only state in the country in which the gun is not sold to the public, because, he said, it has never been approved here.

Yes, you read that right. Violent gangbangers, intent on murdering their fellow scumbags, are walking the streets with complete disregard for Attorney General Reilly's Approved Firearms Roster.

Shocking, no?

And, from our courageous Police Commissioner:

The Boston police commissioner, Kathleen M. O'Toole, said in an interview Friday that the FN Five-Seven is "designed to kill people" and said she would like to see firearms more stringently regulated.

Yes, Kathleen, that's it. There's simply not enough gun control here in Massachusetts. Though, who could blame you for taking that stance? There's actual, dangerous policework involved with "stringently regulating" criminals. It's so much easier (not to mention, possible) to restrict my rights by passing more gun laws instead.

Whatever helps you sleep at night, lady.

Look, I'd favor any legislation that would actually keep our police officers (and ordinary citizens) safe. This ain't it, though. If anyone can explain to me how a person willing to point any kind of gun at a police officer (or a 7-11 clerk, or a pizza guy) and pull the trigger is going to give one hairy rat's ass about one more gun control law, whether dealing with licensure or the legality of various types of firearms, I am all ears.

Carpundit has more, including this insightful gem in the comments there explaining why he thinks this latest gun ban du jour isn't such a bad thing after all.

Gun bans generally don't work. Hell, anything bans usually don't work. But I'd like to see a ban on this weapon for the message value, to tell FN Herstal that decent people don't appreciate their making a weapon of murder freely available to anyone who wants it.

"Freely available"? To "anyone who wants it"?

Where do I sign up for mine?

Oops. So much for being brief. Sorry 'bout that, Horse.

Is This Anything Like a Whale Watch?

Entwistle Placed Under Suicide Watch

'Cause I'd like to get tickets if they haven't sold out already.

Playing the Odds

Did you get your Powerball tickets for tomorrow's drawing?

The Powerball jackpot has reached a new high of $365 million — making it the largest jackpot in U.S. lottery history.

$365 million? Yeah, that wouldn't suck. Sure the government will take a massive chunk out in taxes, but I think I'd manage to get by on what's left, provided I'm the sole winner. I'd hate to have to share that with anyone.

And, not that this has anything to do (much) with the potential major announcement I alluded to yesterday - that may or may not be on the horizon - but, I found myself in Portsmouth, New Hampshire yesterday evening, where I had a pleasant conversation with, and purchased 10 Powerball tickets from one Bharat Batel.

Sure the odds of winning this sucker's bet (1 in 146.1 million) are only slightly better than the odds of Massachusetts State Senator Jarrett Barrios sponsoring shall-issue CCW legislation, but as a wise man once said, "Ten bucks is ten bucks, eh?".

Stay Tuned

A possible MAJOR announcement is in the works.

As a result, posting will be light to non-existent today.

What Would Jack Bauer Drive?

How about the 2006 Ruger Edition Dodge Ram 1500.


Not that the TruckVault^TM gun storage would be of much use to him, as he's not exactly been too keen on shooting many of the terrorists this season. Plenty of room in there, though, for his aromatherapy supplies and Richard Gere DVD collection.


Man, Season 4 Jack Bauer would have dug this ride.

24 - The Morning After (the Morning After)

Apologies for the delay in getting my "24" Five-Point Review post up. I'm gonna chalk up my tardiness to this cold I'm still fighting off.

Episode 8: 2:00 PM to 3:00 PM

Bruce's Five-Point Review

1. How soon can we get DOD to issue an immediate personnel transfer to get Audrey carted off to the DOD field office in Topeka?

2. How much longer do we have to wait for Season 6 Jack Bauer to pull a Kyle Reese and go back in time to take out Season 5 Jack Bauer for being soft and start shootin' some terrorists?

3. Rule #4 from Chapter 1 of the Security Guard Handbook: If a bunch of foreign-sounding guys come into your building carrying toolboxes and wearing matching jackets with "MAINTENANCE" embroidered on them, they're terrorists. Shoot them.

4. See point #1.

5. See point #1. Seriously, she's THAT annoying.

Well, Now There's An Idea

mAss Backwards - January 12, 2006:

Here's a suggestion, you brainless, flaming sack of yak nuts - let's install satellite tracking devices in CRIMINALS. How many times do we read stories of violent scumbags being arrested in the City of Boston, only to find that they have - SURPRISE! - outstanding warrants against them at the time of their arrest?

Boston Globe - February 15, 2006:

Mayor Thomas M. Menino and Police Commissioner Kathleen M. O'Toole announced yesterday that authorities will begin urging judges to have electronic ankle bracelets placed on violent criminals put on probation.

The initiative will target repeat offenders, who officials say are driving much of the city's surge in crime.

UPDATE: For the record, my opinion of this is somewhat parallel to that of Suffolk District Attorney Dan Conley, as reported in this morning's Boston Herald:

But the city’s district attorney and one victim of violent victim [huh? - ed.] questioned last night how well a satellite’s eye in the sky can work to restrain criminals bent on violence.

The reality is it will work about as well as our gun laws do in keeping guns out of the hands of "criminals bent on violence". But (and this is the main point of my posts on this matter), compared to City Councilor Consalvo's earlier proposal that would require me to install a GPS tracking device on my legally-owned handgun, it's (as my readers are wont to say) BRILLIANT!

Suffolk District Attorney Dan Conley said that without a suspect’s consent, prosecutors could not demand the use of GPS tracking unless they held a so-called 58A "dangerousness hearing" to determine if the suspect can be restrained beyond normal bail requirements.

So, you give the dirtbag two simple choices - either he lingers in jail (on a couple-million dollars bail) while awaiting trial, or he gets the electric dog fence collar.

Huh? What's that? You're telling me these bracelets aren't designed to remotely dispense electric shocks to perps who violate the conditions of their release? What a rip-off! Back to the drawing board, I say!

"I am impressed with the possibilities," Conley said. "But it should not be a substitute for appropriate bail or incarceration for hardened criminals. Under current law, the court has very little authority to mandate the use of the GPS tracking system."

"Incarceration for hardened criminals"? Be careful, Dan. Some folks 'round these parts will accuse you of a hate speech crime with talk like that.

I Sense a Trend

Delaying the public release of information concerning innocent parties injured by recklessly-fired birdshot - it's not just for D.C. bigwigs anymore.

Kids hit by gunfire - in July: Cops just released report

It was an incident that Boston police did not tell the public about, but is part of the startling number of people hit by gunfire last year: two little boys, 9 and 6, wounded by a shotgun blast in an attack deemed so dangerous, the city relocated the victims to another housing development.

There's your solution to the city's crime problem, Mr. Mayor! We simply move everybody out of the city (on the taxpayers' dime, of course) and before you know it, there won't be anymore gun crime in the city. Or any crime, for that matter.

Problem solved.

Damn, I should run for office.

The shooting took place outside 38 Paul Place in the South End just after 10 p.m. on July 28. Witnesses said two boys on BMX bicycles with hoods pulled tight around their faces rode up into Castle Square and fired, spraying the corner with bird shot.

[insert "Who do you think you are - Dick Cheney?" joke here]

UPDATE: So, we might want to hold off on the Dick Cheney jokes for a while. The story's getting less funny.

CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas --The 78-year-old lawyer who was shot by Vice President Dick Cheney in a hunting accident has some birdshot lodged in his heart and he had "a minor heart attack" Tuesday morning, hospital officials said.

It seems to be more serious than originally reported. I hope, for all involved, that Mr. Whittington makes a speedy and complete recovery.

Love Thy Rapist as Thyself

Texas Church Tries Guns for Roses on Valentines

It's Valentine's Day Texas style and a church in Dallas wants people to show their love by giving up their guns.

And, this is considered "Texas style"? They must be referring to a different Texas, located in some kind of parallel universe, of which I am not aware. This sounds much more like "Massachusetts style" or"Chicago style" to me.

"We are not trying to disarm Cupid of his bow and arrow, but provide another meaningful opportunity for individuals to show their affection for their families by making their homes safe this Valentine's Day," said Bruce Buchanan, a pastor at the church.

For whom, exactly, are we supposed to be making our homes safe?

The Valentine's Day celebration will be overseen by armed police.

By their own logic, wouldn't this make their gun buyback program less safe? Won't they Think Of The Children^TM???

Just Like You and Me...

...only different.

News outlets are reporting that Vice President Dick Cheney had failed to acquire the necessary permits and wildlife stamps as required by the Texas state hunting regulations.

Vice President Dick Cheney apparently broke a couple of basic hunting rules when he blasted pal Harry Whittington with birdshot Saturday -— he shot wild, hunting experts said, and he didn'’t have a valid permit, either.

The Texas Parks and Wildlife Department said yesterday Cheney and Whittington will be given warning citations for violating game law by not having an upland game bird stamp, a requirement that went into effect in September. Cheney had the required $125 nonresident hunting license, the vice president'’s office said last night, and he has sent a $7 check to cover the cost of the stamp.

Seemingly not that big a deal, right?

I mean it's just a matter of a submitting the proper paperwork with a check to cover the licensing fees, right? I mean, just because someone got shot, it's not like the person pulling the trigger will be subject to arrest and prosecution over something as trivial as a little bit of missing paperwork, right?

In Texas...maybe.

If you're the Vice President...you can bank on it.

But, what if you're a member of the proletariat trying to protect your family from harm within the People's Progressive Republic of Meninostan? Well, I wouldn't exactly recommend holding your breath waiting for that same level of discretion and courtesy to be applied to your sorry ass.

Just ask our old friend Sean E. Roisten of Brighton.

Remember, some animals are more equal than others.

The Office of the Precedent

So, a lot of folks today are crying foul (fowl?) over what they see is an attempt by the White House to cover up for a negligent discharge by one of its own.

Like that would be a first.

Gun Control: It's Fore! the Children

From TheBostonChannel.com:

Assault Victim Beaten With Golf Club
One Victim Had Part Of Ear Bitten Off

WORCESTER, Mass. -- Three Worcester men face charges in connection with the beating of two men with a golf club over the weekend.

Police Monday arrested James Zwicker, Darryl Servideo and Justin Langanelli. Each is charged with assault and battery in connection with last Saturday's attack on Elm Street.

The victims have not been identified by police. However one is hospitalized with head and face injuries, and the other man had part of an ear bitten off.

An anti-violence group met Monday night on Elm Street, and said a police presence is needed in the neighborhood at bar closing time. The group reiterated its call for a police substation in the neighborhood.

Saturday's assault came two days after an 18-year-old man stabbed a high school student in the head with a kitchen knife.

Good thing no one had a gun. Someone might have gotten hurt.

Not To Make You Feel Old, But...

...in just 11 months, Appetite for Destruction turns 20.

Criminals Be Warned!

If Mayor Menino gets his way, you will have to register your ammo at the point of purchase and be required to own only those guns with the capability of microprinting each shell casing with the serial number of the gun which you have dutifully registered with the state.

Oh, wait. Never mind.

I was thinking about the rest of us. You carjackers, rapists, and drug dealers can go right ahead with what you're doing.

City seeks safeguards on sale of bullets

With firearm violence in Boston continuing to surge, police and city officials are looking for new anticrime tools, potentially including limiting ammunition sales, recording who buys ammunition, and using a new technology that transfers a gun's serial number onto a bullet's shell casing any time the gun is fired, said two officials who know about the plans.

OK, can we finally make the official announcement that Menino is completely out of ideas and has absolutely no fucking clue what he's talking about? This is moronic on so many levels it is just mind-boggling.

"We want to tighten up how people can get ammunition," Police Superintendent Robert Dunford said.

What? The fingerprinting and criminal background check required of all individuals licensed to purchase ammunition in Massachusetts isn't enough for you?

Well, I got your DNA sample right here, pal.

"We're seeing loose rounds, a mix of ammunition. That might be a point of attack for us.

Explain, please.

Are you proposing limiting ammunition sales to one caliber per purchase? Because that ingenious notion has got violent crime reduction written all over it.

Oh, wait, no it doesn't.

Currently, vendors are not required to record who buys ammunition, and buyers can purchase as much as they want, said Sergeant Detective Ray Mosher, who supervises the Boston Police Licensing unit, which regulates ammunition sales in the city.

You mean to tell me, licensed individuals, legally purchasing and possessing ammunition, can actually buy "as much as they want"?

Um....what's the problem again?

Unless you're implying that the violent crime in Boston is being perpetrated by, or can be directly attributed to, the licensed gun owners in the city, this horseshit scheme will predictably prove to be 110% useless, and serve only to restrict the rights of the law-abiding citizens, while the violent criminal population carries on at will, unaffected by such measures.

And to clarify, the BPD licensing unit does not regulate ammunition sales in the city of Boston, per se. What they do regulate is who gets to be issued a license in Boston for the purchase of ammunition and firearms throughout the Commonwealth.

Mosher also said the current law allows buyers with a license for one type of gun to buy ammunition for any type of gun.

You know what current state law also allows for requires? Issuing license to carry (or written letters of denial) within 40 days of the application date. You missed that one by 66 days, Detective.

As to your allegation that some people are able to buy ammunition for any type of gun, regardless of the type of license one holds, I don't see much (read: any) merit to that claim.

Class "A" License to Carry (LTC) holders can purchase any type of ammunition for sale in Massachusetts on the civilian market.

The same holds true for Class "B" LTC holders, with the main distinctions between the two classes being how the gun may be carried and the magazine capacity allowed - nothing, whatsoever, to do with caliber or ammunition type.

That leaves us with Firearms Identification Card (FID) holders. Basically, this license allows for the purchase and possession of non-high-capacity long guns (rifles and shotguns) and ammunition.

Last I checked, an FID holder could legally buy a rifle in this state chambered in many common handgun calibers, including .22LR, 9mm, .38 Special, .357 Magnum, .40-caliber, .44 Magnum, and .45 ACP. In addition, such a licensed individual could also purchase non-high-capacity rifles chambered in those calibers commonly associated with those scary, high-capacity "assault weapons", or "sniper rifles".

Care to explain your words, Detective? You wouldn't be feeding the Globe a string of bullshit there just to further your boss's political agenda, and remain in his good graces now, would you?

Police and city officials acknowledge that criminals could buy ammunition on the black market and out of state...

"COULD"?

"COULD"?

Try "DO" you dimwitted twits!

"...but they say they have noticed an apparent shortage of ammunition on the streets."

So, the problem seems to be gradually diminishing on its own? Well, shit! We better enact more gun control laws just to be sure. Who cares if it's not needed, or if it will do no fucking good! We need to make laws! It's what we do!

Go, read the whole thing, if you have the stomach for it this morning. Be warned, there are some breath-taking examples of blind ignorance and sheer stupidity therein.

Now, where's my damn suitcase?

UPDATE: Links added.

Sound Familiar?

Stop me if you've heard this one before.

Boston Police Commissioner Kathleen M. O'Toole appealed for the public's help in tracking down violent criminals yesterday, in response to a spate of shootings in the city that left two men dead and three wounded.

And from the Useless Statistics Department:

The slayings Friday night in Dorchester and Mattapan brought the number of homicides in Boston to six in 2006, compared with four this time a year ago. Last year was the deadliest year in the city in a decade.

Hardly a definitive sampling there, but compared to last year...

When clocks struck 3 Monday afternoon, Boston - then suffocating under this month's 38 inches of snow and sub-zero windchills - humbly set a 10-year record for the most days to pass into a new year without a murder.

You know where this one's going.

GLOBAL WARMING CAUSES CRIME!

Someone get Menino on the phone, NOW! We need to empanel a Strategic Climate Control Council to address the detrimental effect this relatively nice weather is having on our community.

I am hereby proposing that the entire city of Boston be relocated to somewhere just inside the arctic circle. Violent crime would surely plummet to near-zero levels. As I said last year...

Hey, man, you try popping a cap in someone's ass wearing a pair of mittens.

It would be For the Children^TM, you understand.

Getting back to reality for a minute...

There's one other noteworthy item from the above-mentioned Boston Globe article. Feel free to give your own dead horses a couple whacks over this one, unless they're like mine and buried under a foot of snow in the driveway somewhere.

In the late 1990s, Boston was hailed for its success in halting violent crimes. As part of the "Boston Miracle," homicides in the city dropped 77 percent from 1990 to 1997.

But since then, the crime rate has been climbing; 2005 was the city's deadliest year in a decade, with 75 homicides.

Not that I have to ask, but for 50 bonus points, what brilliant piece of anti-freedom anti-crime legislation was signed into law in 1998 in Massachusetts?

Friday Night Follies

Buckle up, kids. It's pop quiz time again. I apologize for hitting you with two pop quizzes in one day, but tough times such as these demand tough measures.

QUESTION: What do the following have in common?

Poverty, the lack of midnight recreational programs, the presence of midnight recreational programs, t-shirts, iPods, high gas prices, children, tourists, bayonets, law-abiding citizens, leaves, and convenience stores.

Need a hint?

ANSWER: Yes, they've all been identified at one time or another as contributing factors to the presence of criminals in our communities. And, just when you thought that list might be complete at last, along comes our favorite, all-knowing clairvoyant, Boston Mayor Thomas M. Menino.

Disconnecting crime in Boston

Police and city officials and community groups seek restrictions on pay phones

Yes, my friends, it's PAY PHONE CONTROL.

I.

Am.

Not.

Making.

This.

Up.

They went after guns. Then it was T-shirts. Now, in Mayor Thomas M. Menino's effort to make Boston's neighborhoods safer, officials have targeted a new possible accomplice in city crime: Pay phones.

PAY PHONES CAUSE CRIME. I'm (almost) without words.

Last week, the city removed three pay phones from Roxbury that police suspected were sites for drug deals, Menino said.

Upon seeing the pay phones had been removed, the drug dealers, prostitutes and gang members from that neighborhood immediately ceased hanging out on that particular corner, and returned promptly to school to get their high school diplomas and filled out job applications at Target.

Money quote:

"It's another tool we're going to use," Menino said of the amendment.

Takes one to know one, Mr. Mayor.

(link via reader, David H.)

K&D Holsters

If this isn't a slam-dunk endorsement for a holster manufacturer, then I don't know what is. Via Justin Buist's Log.

Some time ago I left a message on The High Road that my buddy returning from Iraq in leave couldn't get a freaking holster from the military for his M9 (Beretta 92) pistol. He had to buy one with his own money from the local Iraqis and they kept breaking. He went through three. I wanted suggestions for something to buy him in the event that he went back.

Without asking the owner of K&D Holsters asked for his initials and if he was right handed or left handed. The guy shipped me a leather holster entirely free of charge for the guy with his initials imprinted upon it.

I'm thinking an Eagle Defender might soon be on its way.

Eagle Defender – This holster provides an open top, slide
onto the belt, style with an additional layer of leather
to aid in keeping the throat of the holster open for easy
reholstering. The “wings” of the holster keep the holster
tight against the body for maximum concealment. It is
available for medium to full size autos and revolvers.

Anyone ever buy a holster from them? Likes, dislikes?

Quote of the Day

From south of the border (CT), via Tom at MuD & PHuD:

And that reimbursement will come from the money tree at the capitol. Or, my state taxes. Whichever turns out to be real.

Mumbling Right Along

From the Roslindale/West Roxbury Transcript:

Menino: New council wants to cut local crime

Really? They want to cut crime? You mean, there's no desire on the mayor's part to intentionally increase crime? Well, that's reassuring.

I guess.

In response to the need to implement an ongoing comprehensive anti-crime strategy, my administration and I last month created the Strategic Crime Council.

I guess all the "task forces", "focus groups", and "summits" he's tried haven't done jackshit. So, clearly, the solution to the city's crime problem lies in the creation of a "council". And here's a shocker - the formation of this council will be accompanied by...wait for it...proposals for more gun control! How strategic of them.

This will really stick it to the Gangbangers Local 12.

The council is examining everything from ammunition sales regulation...

As opposed to the current system we have in Massachusetts that forbids the sale of ammunition to anyone not in possession of a valid Firearms Identification Card or License to Carry a Firearm, both of which require the holder to submit to a criminal background check and fingerprinting?

Tell me, Mumbles, oh wonderful wise one, will the DNA collections be performed by the gun shop proprietors at the point of purchase? Or will licensed gun owners have the option of submitting DNA samples to the Commonwealth ahead of time?

...and bullet micro-stamping...

Yep. That'll do it. Linking crackheads to their bullets by matching the serial numbers to the forms they filled out at the gun shop where they legally purchased their ammunition.

Yes, folks. Our mayor is this stupid.

...to stricter sentencing for illegal possession and trafficking.

[snip]

My second proposal states that any habitual offender, someone who has been convicted of two or more crimes within Massachusetts or another state, would receive the maximum sentence if convicted again...

Wait a minute?

Who are you? And what have you done with the mayor?

Reducing crime by reducing the criminal population? Now, that's a novel idea. Why hasn't anyone thought of that before?

[/rolleyes]

OK, kids, pop quiz time.

Which of these three proposals...

(A) Ammunition sales regulation
(B) Bullet micro-stamping
(C) Stricter sentencing for illegal possession and trafficking of firearms

...has the best chance of gaining ground in the progressive paradise of Massachusetts? And which will be summarily rejected as a violation of the rights of the people?

No, I will not be publishing an answer guide.

Cuffed!

From the Boston Globe:

Neil Entwistle was arrested this morning on charges of murdering his wife and infant daughter in their rented Hopkinton home.

They must've found something.

Entwistle, 27, was taken into custody at 7 a.m. EST in England on two counts of murder and charges of illegal possession of a handgun and illegal possession of ammunition, prosecutors said.

What? He didn't have a valid License to Carry a Firearm???

But...but...

UPDATE: Live blogging the DA's 10:00 press conference in the comments.

UPDATE: Via boston.com:

BREAKING NEWS: Neil Entwistle was planning a murder-suicide when he shot his wife and infant daughter with his father-in-law's gun in Hopkinton, according to Middlesex DA Martha Coakley, who is now holding a press conference on the matter. Coakley said police believe he had financial problems and killed his wife and child on Friday morning, Jan. 20, before abandoning the plan to kill himself. -- Developing

The Cartoon Jihad - Local Front

Jay Tea over at Wizbang brings us this story from today's Boston Globe out of Stoughton, Massachusetts, concerning Town Manager Mark Stankiewicz's decision to fly the Danish flag on town property in a show of solidarity with Denmark, and the objections of some local folks afraid of doing anything, apparently, that might be construed as acting in defense of freedom. Oh, the horror.

Who would object to such a gesture, you ask?

The Stoughton No Place for Hate Committee.

I'm not making this up.

Jay's post pretty much says it all.

Perhaps they ought to reconsider their name to the Stoughton No Place For Balls Committee. I have a symbol all ready for them -- they can take that Danish flag they forced taken down, bleach out the red, and proudly wave their white flag for any and all to see.

And Mr. Stankiewicz? You might be too good for Stoughton. Consider yourself invited to move to New Hampshire. We know how to properly appreciate folks like you, and we're always welcoming refugees from Taxachusetts who come to their senses.

Nothing more to add there.

Why the Left Is Losing (cont.)

mAss Backwards 1/31/06:

...after Senator Kennedy's little temper tantrum on the floor of the senate yesterday, I would not be surprised in the least to see his office issue a statement exploiting the passing of Mrs. King in a shameless, last-ditch attempt to torpedo the Alito confirmation...

OK, so it wasn't Ted Kennedy, it was Jimmy Carter (like there's an appreciable difference).

And, it wasn't a politically-motivated cheap shot against Alito, but against President Bush.

And, it didn't come from the floor of the Senate, but from the pulpit overlooking the open casket of Coretta Scott King at her funeral.

Former President Jimmy Carter later swung at Bush as well, not once but twice. As he talked about the Kings, he said: "It was difficult for them then personally with the civil liberties of both husband and wife violated as they became the target of secret government wiretaps."

After which Senator Ted Kennedy immediately took the pulpit and apologized to the crowd for the reprehensible actions of his brothers.

Oh, wait.

No, he didn't.

So you see, kids, there really ARE two Americas.

Now, how the Democrats expect to win back the hearts and minds of the larger of the two with disrespectful, shameless rhetoric like this is beyond me. But, keep it coming, folks.

Cowardly Noodle-spined Nutsacks

From the Lame-ass Excuse Department:

CNN is not showing the negative caricatures of the likeness of Prophet Mohammed because the network believes its role is to cover the events surrounding the publication of the cartoons while not unnecessarily adding fuel to the controversy itself.

By refusing to publish all (read: any of the) 12 cartoons in question, CNN is playing right into the hands of the radical Islamist thugs by leaving the uninformed public with little choice but to gage the offensiveness of the cartoons based solely on the violence being perptrated by these "protesters" throughout the Arab world (of which CNN is providing the uninformed masses with 24-hour TV coverage).

"Wow, look at the violence! Firebombing of embassies! Cries for beheadings of the infidel offenders! Burning police vehicles! Those cartoons must have been absolutely horrible! Shame on us for causing this uproar! Let's show a little sympathy for these poor, innocent victims of our dastardly western oppression."

Giving Credit Where Credit's Due

From the Boston Globe's Editorial & Opinion page:

Is there a Pulitzer category for Letters to the Editor?

No offense, but ...

February 8, 2006

I FIND all of your editorial cartoons deeply offensive, morally, religiously, philosophically, and spiritually. In fact, I don't like your editorials, either. And the editorializing in your news coverage is annoying as well.

In keeping with your cowardly policy not to offend anyone, kindly cease publication at once.

BOB FLAVELL
Duxbury

Perhaps, there should be.

And, Globe cartoonist, Dan Wasserman - whose steady stream of anti-Bush offerings is as predictable (and almost as funny) as seeing Garfield bitch and moan about not getting his morning cup of coffee - has proven the theory today that even a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while.

Back On the Local Front

I would have preferred to find out the little chickenshit had taken himself out of the game with the same hatchet he used on his victims in New Bedford. But hey, a happy ending is a happy ending. Can't complain too much.

Jacob D. Robida ended the crime spree that started in a New Bedford bar by shooting himself in the head on a rural Arkansas road when he was surrounded by police, officials said yesterday.

Authorities had initially reported that police in Norfork, Ark., shot Robida on Saturday after a 16-mile chase that started when he shot and killed a police officer in Gassville. But forensic tests found the fatal bullet came from the 9mm Ruger handgun that Robida also used to kill his female passenger, said Bristol District Attorney Paul F. Walsh Jr.

Whadda you know? The writers down on Morrisey Boulevard got the weapon designation correct. Quite the refreshing change from all the ".9-caliber" and "38mm" "handcannons" we've read about in the past.

Poliical Correcness Geing Way Ou of Hand

From Michelle Malkin (again):

School deems hot cross buns 'offensive'

IPSWICH, England, Feb. 6 (UPI) -- A school in England has decided that hot cross buns are religiously offensive, and demanded the supplier start making them as simply cross-less currant buns.

Traditionally served at Easter time, the buns have been around since 1361, when a monk reportedly made small spiced cakes stamped with the sign of the cross, to be distributed to the poor visiting the monastery at St. Albans on Good Friday.

Head teacher Tina Jackson of the Oaks Primary School in Ipswich says that might offend some religious minorities like Jehovah's Witnesses, who are not allowed to worship [they worship currant buns??? - ed.] things of a pagan nature.

Wha's he nex sep? Leers home o he sudens' parens leing hem know ha all fuure use of he lower-case will be prohibied, on accoun of is offensive, cross-shaped naure?

Wha a buncha reards.

Why the Left Is Losing

Michelle Malkin brings us (via The Colossus of Rhodey) this brilliant example of the application of moral equivalence we've seen all too often coming from the left side of the aisle. From political commentator Mara Liasson speaking on Fox News:

A case can be made that the Danish newspaper did this as a provocation, in poor taste, whatever--maybe they shouldn't have published them--but the reaction has been equally egregious.

Now, compare and contrast that dribbling bit of lunacy to this quote from Boston Globe columnist H.D.S. Greenway:

There is a lot of posturing on both sides, and a lot of political theater as well.

Uh-huh.

"Posturing"

"Theater"

And to think that such a "progressive", "reality-based" mentality has yet to win over the hearts and minds of Middle America.

Truly shocking.

UPDATE: Via the inimitable Sondra K. (emphasis hers mine ours):

If people looked at these cartoons and were to replace the images of the Holy Prophet with images of Jesus Christ or the Virgin Mary, they can see that, even in our culture, if they were directed at the Judeo-Christian traditions, there would be similar outrage[.]

- Jack Straw, British Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs

We're gonna need more rubber wallpaper.

UPDATE (2/8/06): This gem from the "(Almost) Too Stupid to Fisk" file comes to us from behind the sacred crystal walls of academia and intellect that surround the campus of Boston University, and protect those inside from potentially life-altering reality infections.

Muslim outrage appropriate

When I read yesterday's letters to the editor, I was astonished to find two letters supporting the Danish cartoons of Muhammad on the basis of free press ("Cartoon reaction symbolic of Muslim radicalism" and "Outrage toward cartoon is hypocritical," Feb. 7, p. 6).

What? Who let the writers of such hate-filled, subversive thought slip past the outer perimeter? Security!!!

Then the Muslims who are outraged by this are either labeled as extremists or are hypocrites on free press. Well, it is blasphemy to make any depictions of Allah and the Prophet.

That law is on the books in Denmark? I had no idea.

I cannot see how the Muslims should not be outraged when their holiest man is made a fool of, and it is against their religion. Also, I have no doubt that if a similar situation happened in America then conservative Christians would have protested as well.

I'm assuming that, as a Boston-area college student in the year 2006, you have some form of internet access at your disposal. Do yourself a favor, Hua, and disable the Stark Raving Loony Filter on your internet browser and take a few minutes to educate yourself as to the kind of "protest" taking place around the Arab world today.

Now about free press, it is a right, but there are also some responsibilities attached. A newspaper cannot just publish whatever it wants without some consideration of the consequences and the appropriateness of the subject. I mean, no one here would be trying to defend the New York Times if it published a racist cartoon on blacks...

Like certain Secretaries of State, for example?

...Latinos or Asians. The Danish cartoons fit into this category.

Hua Wen
CAS '09

Admissions standards at BU must have taken a beating recently if this moron is, in any way, representative of the mental capacity of this year's freshman class.

24 - The Morning After

Episode 7: 1:00 PM to 2:00 PM

Bruce's Five-Point Review

1. OK, this show is really starting to blow monkey nuts.

I'm asking all concerned parties to write a letter today to Fox demanding they fire Richard Gere from the show's writers staff. I mean, Come on! What the hell? Only TWO bad guy kills by CTU.

When a heavily-armed, highly trained counter-terrorism strike team only manages to score one more kill that a tattered 15-year-old girl, something is seriously wrong in the world.

I'm giving them ONE more chance (again) to make things right.

2. Um...Mike...how does a man in handcuffs hang himself?

3. THAT is why the hobbits never became much of a force to be reckoned with in Middle Earth - no street smarts, whatsoever.

4. Listen up, people, I'm only going to say this once!

If a carload of armed, shifty looking characters with heavy foreign accents barge into your machine shop and force you at gunpoint to assist them in cutting open up a bunch of suspicious looking metal cylinders, they will kill you when you're done, despite any assurances they may offer you to the contrary.

5. Am I the only one who thinks Edgar spends his weekends on his knees wearing a leather zip-up facemask, getting flogged by a badminton racket-wielding dominatrix?

Talk About Hate Crime

How sad is this?

Hamas leader Ismail Haniyeh holds a child during a rally
protesting against the publication of cartoons in European
newspapers depicting the Prophet Muhammad, in front of the
Palestinian parliament in Beit Lahiya in northen Gaza,
Friday, Feb, 3, 2006. (AP Photo / Hatem Moussa)

Captions, please.

Consider This a Tax Cut

Via boston.com:

BREAKING NEWS: Jacob B. Robida, 18, wanted in an attack on a New Bedford gay bar, has died of gunshot wounds he sustained in a shootout with police in Arkansas, according to broadcast reports.

Now, go buy yourself something nice.

UPDATE: More details here.

Good. Fucking. Riddance.

The citizens of Massachusetts are already getting sufficiently raped paying to patch up the leaks in the Big Dig, paying the salraies of no-show, cush-job hacks, and picking up the tab for our legislators who feel no obligation to "render unto Caesar", as is required, under pentalties of prosecution and imprisonment, of the steerage class (to name but a few shining examples).

The last thing we needed was to see this assmonkey and his attorney standing before a judge explaining to the people of Massachusets how he wasn't hugged enough as a child, and how society is to blame for his being such a fucking loser.

The joy I feel over this scumbag's imminent decension into Hell is tempered only by the sadness I feel over the innocent lives that were destroyed at his hands, and the utter disgust I feel over how preventable these deaths were and how our "leaders" are doing nothing to see that future victims of this kind of abject hatred and direspect for others might be able to defend themselves in the face of such evil.

"Cower and Pray" can never be the mantra of a free people.

But, then again, welcome to Massachusetts.

BREAKING NEWS

I've got some good news, and some bad news.

The good news: Jacob Robida, the worthless piece of subhuman fecal scrapings who brutally assaulted the patrons of Puzzles Lounge in New Bedford the other day has been apprehended. Well, to be more accurate, he's currently in critical condition in a hospital in Missouri after taking two in the hat in a shootout with the police.

The bad news (and it doesn't get much worse than this): The happy ending described above occurred only AFTER the aforementioned piece of subhuman fecal scrapings shot and killed a police officer in Gassville, Arkansas.

Story here: Teen wanted in gay bar rampage is caught

So, explain to me again, Senator Barrios (or Mayor Menino, or Representative Toomey, or Senator Kennedy, or John Rosenthal, or any one of you useless gun-grabbing tools) the benefit of having the patrons in that bar disarmed and unable to do anything to repel that horrifying attack and prevent this rabid piece of asscheese from running off into the night to continue his spree of violence and murder.

Then, explain to me again, if you would, the rationale behind our "common-sense" gun laws that serve only to assure violent, maniacal shitheads like Robida here that none of their intended victims will be in any position to offer up any form of resistance to their violent impulses.

Then, if you don't mind, please explain to the family of Officer Jim Sell how utterly f***ing ecstatic you must have felt when you heard on the morning news that not one customer in that bar was able to stop this scumbag from carrying out his brutal, hate-fueled rampage and assist him with the shedding of his mortal coil, thereby keeping him from his deadly roadside motel parking lot [update 02/05/06 - ed.] encounter with their loved one.

And then, after you've finished regurgitating some half-assed excuses, comprised mainly of cut n' pasted Sarah Brady talking points, in an attempt to justify your anti-liberty, pro-criminal ideology, kindly go f*** yourself.

Thank you.

One other note - I have to disagree with this assessment of the situation.

Jacob D. Robida, 18, was shot twice in the head and "it doesn't look good right now," said Massachusetts prosecutor Paul Walsh Jr.

That Would Make a Grown Man Cry

Kudos to ABC for making this call.

The Janet Jackson ripple effect (or should that be "rip" effect) has finally come around to the game that started it all. Sunday's Super Bowl will be on a five-second tape delay pregame, postgame and halftime.

I don't think I'd be able to keep my food down should I suddenly find myself looking at Keith Richards' nipples. Some things are not meant to be seen by the human eye.

Hey, I wonder if they'll play "Start Me Up".

Yaaaawwwwnnnnn....

What Not To Bring To a Hatchet Fight - Item #12

OK, last one.

I promise.

Maybe.

We're all just going to be more observant, walking each other to our cars with keys in our hands if we have to defend ourselves[.]

- Jeffrey Robbins, 33, of New Bedford, MA

I Could Use the Target Practice

Story here.

GAZA CITY, Gaza Strip - Tens of thousands of angry Muslims marched through Palestinian cities, burning the Danish flag and calling for vengeance Friday against European countries where caricatures of the Prophet Muhammad were published.

[snip]

Early Friday, Palestinian militants threw a bomb at a French cultural center in Gaza City, and many Palestinians began boycotting European goods, especially those from Denmark.

"Whoever defames our prophet should be executed," said Ismail Hassan, 37, a tailor who marched through the pouring rain along with hundreds of others in the West Bank city of Ramallah.

"Bin Laden our beloved, Denmark must be blown up," protesters in Ramallah chanted.

In mosques throughout Palestinian cities, clerics condemned the cartoons. An imam at the Omari Mosque in Gaza City told 9,000 worshippers that those behind the drawings should have their heads cut off.

"If they want a war of religions, we are ready," Hassan Sharaf, an imam in Nablus, said in his sermon.

About 10,000 demonstrators, including gunmen from the Islamic militant group Hamas firing in the air, marched through Gaza City to the Palestinian legislature, where they climbed on the roof, waving green Hamas banners.

"We are ready to redeem you with our souls and our blood our beloved prophet," they chanted. "Down, Down Denmark."

Ms. Malkin has pictures here.

UPDATE: Islamic Society of Denmark Channels Mary Mapes

Via Gateway Pundit:

THIS WHOLE DANISH CARTOON CONTROVERSY WAS MADE UP BY THE "ISLAMIC SOCIETY OF DENMARK" WHO SPREAD THE FAKE CARTOONS ON THEIR TRIP TO THE MIDDLE EAST!

The leader of the group is a radical Islamist known for supporting the Anti-Western Islamist struggle!

The organisation Islamic Society in Denmark toured the Middle-East to create awareness about the cartoons, bringing 3 additional images, which HAD NEVER been published in any media source. Evidently, the originals were not offensive enough for the trip so they had to add these three:

The added cartoons were, apparently, fake but accurate.

Bottom line, folks, these are fucking cartoons we're talking about! In what kind of sick, fucked-up world is it OK to chop off someone's head off over a friggin' cartoon?

UPDATE: Photochop of the Week (via LGF):


Yeah...and the horse donkey camel you rode in on too, dickcheese.