Thursday, September 30, 2004

From the No-Brainer Hall of Fame

From the Boston Herald:

We are considering not offering betting on reality shows that have been pre-taped.

    Stuart Doyle, wagering director for the offshore betting agency

More Mass. Mentality

Straight from the pages of the Tax-and-Spend Liberal Do-Nothing Feel-Good Political Handbook, comes the latest turd, disguised as a crime-fighting initiative, to roll down Beacon Hill:

Greater witness protection urged.

Suffolk District Attorney Daniel F. Conley urged state legislators yesterday to give more protection to victims and witnesses and to more harshly punish those who try to intimidate them.

The issue here isn't about our benevolent leaders giving protection to the victims, you assknob, it's about undoing the actions taken by the state legislators' in the past which have deprived these people of the means to effectively protect themselves from violent thugs.

Witnesses are intimidated in 90 percent of cases involving guns, gangs, and serious violence that pass through his office, Conley said. He recounted the story of one woman who worked up the courage to testify, only to turn around and flee when she saw friends of the defendant, a gang member, sitting in bench after bench in the courtroom.

"She cried to the Victim Witness advocate from my office that she might as well just put a bull's-eye on her back," Conley told members of the Joint Committee on Public Safety, who called the hearing to explore possible legislative solutions to surging gang violence throughout the state.

Legislative solutions? Who the hell do you think is responsible for creating this mess? What did you think the result would be after years of legislative efforts dedicated solely to disarming the law-abiding citizenry?

I've got your legislative solution right here, Mr. Conley. Allow me to introduce to you Senator Smith & Wesson...

...and Representative Remington.

And of course, no legislative solution would be complete with out the obligatory dip into the taxpayers' pockets.

Witnesses are especially critical to police when it comes to solving crimes committed by gang members, Conley said, so the Legislature must allocate funding so the district attorney's office can pay for emergency relocation and housing for witnesses.

Aaah yes, the tried and true Massachusetts solution - throw money at the problem until it goes away. Guess what, it hasn't worked before, and it's not going to work this time. But what do they care? It's not their money.

(State Senator, Jarrett) Barrios said he plans to pursue the matter. "I sincerely hope that the governor, who talks tough about preventing gang violence, will come through with the resources communities are going to need to combat gang violence," Barrios said in an interview.

Senator, can you tell me how much this latest "solution" will cost the taxpayers of the Commonwealth? And just how effective will this program be? Do you plan on permanently relocating these people (away from their friends and loved ones) or is this a temporary fix? Assuming you are able to keep these people safe from harm through the duration of their testimony in court - then what? How long will it be until it would be considered safe for them to return home?

These are questions that Mr. Conley and Senator Barrios won't ask, nor do they wish to answer. The only thing they're concerned with is the convincing the voters that they are doing something constructive to fight crime in their community.

You will not make the streets any safer by uprooting the law-abiding citizens and sending them away from their homes, depriving them of contact with their friends and neighbors from the neighborhood.

Here's a radical thought - uproot the criminals and send them to taxpayer-funded housing, the kind surrounded by high concrete walls and razor wire.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go break something.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Hostage Negotiations 101

This is a MUST-SEE post from Barking Moonbat Early Warning System demonstrating the Chinese solution to a hostage situation.

Two rounds of 9mm ammo...$0.40
16-foot piece of rope...$2.99
Happy endings...PRICELESS

We Have a Winner

Not as many entries as my previous 'Caption This', but here at mAss Backwards it's all about the quality, not the quantity.

Cronkitehu Akhbar!

Submitted by Cowboy Blob.

Flip-Flop Bureau of Investigation

No, this is not another post about John Kerry's numerous positions on the war in Iraq. Make of this what you will.

ROCHESTER, N.H. (AP) Authorities are investigating the case of a fake FBI agent who was nosing around Skyhaven Airport in Rochester, asking questions about security.

Police say a man wearing a jacket that said "FBI Anti-Terrorism" showed up at the airport last Wednesday and began asking about airport entrances and security. He took off when Skyhaven employees chased him away from hangars and called police.

Police said airport personnel were immediately suspicious of the man, who was wearing flip-flops and could not produce proper identification.

I can just picture this guy dancing around in his living room, getting so excited about his newly-acquired FBI jacket that he forgot to put on his friggin' shoes before heading out the door. No word on whether they double-checked the surveillance video to see if he was wearing his pajama pants with that outfit.

To quote John McClane...

Welcome to the party, pal!

WRKO morning guy, Scott Allen Miller, has made the plunge and entered the blogosphere. Scotto provides a much-needed voice of reason on the airwaves in Boston. Drop by and say hi at The Scotto Bloggo - his tagline:

This is the uncensored blog of Scott Allen Miller. Be warned: There are no FCC or corporate limitations on what I can blog. The following content is Rated R... for Real.

Monday, September 27, 2004

Note to Self

Dear Me,

This might have been your big birthday weekend, but what were you thinking Saturday? I hate to be the one to tell you this, but this ain't your 19th birthday...AGAIN. Did you honestly think you could drink non-stop from 2:30 in the afternoon to 2:30 in the morning without suffering the wrath of God on Sunday?

Apparently you did - you dumb-ass.

With love,


Friday, September 24, 2004

More Friday Fun

Wednesday's Top 10 List from the Late Show with David Letterman.

    Top Ten Ways CBS News Can Improve It's Reputation

    10. Stick to stories everyone can agree on, like cookies are delicious.

    9. Move nightly "happy hour" to after the broadcast.

    8. Stop hiring guys with crazy names like "Morley."

    7. Can't figure out if a news story is true? Let Judge Joe Brown decide.

    6. Every time Mike Wallace tells a lie he gets a life-threatening electrical shock.

    5. Newsroom patrolled by some kind of lovable but strict "truth monkey."

    4. If it turns out the story is wrong, give away 276 brand new cars.

    3. After delivering a report, correspondent must add, "or maybe not--who knows?"

    2. Newscast consists of Dan Rather sitting down to watch Tom Brokaw.

    1. Oh, I dunno, stop making up crap?

Have a good weekend, people. Posting will be light to non-existent over the next couple of days. I'll be celebrating my birthday (38) tomorrow afternoon with a bunch of friends, a couple cases of beer, and four Costco-sized racks of spareribs.

[homer]Mmmmm...maple bourbon barbecue sauce.[/homer]

p.s. Interesting that Blogger's spell-check offers "mushroom" as a replacement for "newsroom", at least I thought so.

Fun With Google

Welcome, Katie Elizabeth

Les Jones has been live blogging the birth of his daughter Katie. Drop by and say hi. And yes, she's beautiful.

Congratulations, Les!

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Creepy Metallic Snow Bunnies...and more.

Blurring the line between satire and reality, the City of Berkeley played host to the "How Berkeley Can You Be?" parade last Sunday. Great pics here (though not entirely workplace-safe).

Makes Boston look like the heart and soul of Reagan Country. And it's not every day you're asked:

Mommy, do I have to stand next to the creepy metallic snow bunny with the huge red vulva?

(link via Instapundit)

UPDATE: Looks like they took the page down. Should have grabbed some of the pics while I had a chance.

Caption This

Sorry I was unable to find a larger version. Have at it.

So, just a long forked stick, you say?

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

When Assclowns Speak

File this one under The Point is Moot.

Evangelist Jimmy Swaggart apologized Wednesday for saying in a televised worship service that he would kill any gay man who looked at him romantically.

Dude, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but NO ONE alive, let alone a gay man, is looking at you with the twinkle of love in his eyes.

May the Force Be Down Wit' Yo

Frank J. at IMAO has a decent round-up of some of the lesser-known changes made to the Star Wars trilogy for its DVD release yesterday. Must-read stuff.

To make the first movie more diverse, Snoop Dogg has been added as one of the pilots flying against the Death Star. After the Death Star is destroyed, Han Solo's line of, "That was one shot in a million, kid," has been replaced with Snoop Dogg saying, "That shot was the shiznit, honkey!"

Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad...

I believe Van Halen said it best:

I think of all the education that I missed.
But then my homework was never quite like this.

New Bedford homegirl Heather Casey, 22, is the "hottest teacher in America," according to the October issue of FHM. The editors of the lad rag moved Casey to the head of the class after grading some 150 photo submissions to their Hot for Teacher competition this summer.

Separated at Birth?

Gangsta Ethics

I could spend a few minutes this morning discussing the usual aspects of this story from today's Boston Globe, the latest instance of gun violence in the city with the strictest gun control ordinances in Massachusetts, the state with some of the strictest gun control laws in the country.

A 23-year-old father of three was gunned down yesterday, moments after buckling his children into their car seats upon picking up take-out food from the Backwoods Pizza restaurant in Roxbury, according to witnesses and a state official.

But I'm going to pass on the beating of the dead horse - this time. Not hard to do, given this gem by one resident interviewed at the scene by the Globe.

Another resident, who gave his name as Armando Montero, described the shooting as senseless.

"He was in the car with his kids," he said while standing near the scene last night. "If you're gonna pull that, do it when they're by themselves."

Taking the moral high ground while popping a cap in someone's ass. Priceless.

And the best response our mayor can muster up is to call on people in these neighborhoods to cooperate with the police to help combat the rising rate of violence in the inner city? Sorry, folks, but if enough people share Mr. Montero's attitude toward the situatuion, you might as well throw in the towel. The fight is over.

And who has won? Let's see, the criminals, drug dealers, and delinquent punks with no respect for the law or the lives of others, that's a given. They're free to continue following their chosen career path with little or no impunity.

The other big winners here are none other than our esteemed mayor and our elected local officials. They'll be re-elected by the mindless masses who are perfectly content with the status quo and have no desire (or ability) to stand up and defend their families or their neighborhoods. As long as they continue to convince the voters they have their best interests at heart, they'll keep their jobs.

Who has lost? Every man, woman, and child in Boston who doesn't fit into either of the aforementioned categories of "criminals" or "elected officials". File that one with the Redundant Department of Redundancy?

Monday, September 20, 2004

On the Lighter Side

Not that anyone necessarily cares, but this past weekend I cleaned my garage and baked oatmeal cookies with my two-year-old twin girls. Two items of note:

1. My garage is bigger than I remember it being from the last time it was clean - don't ask.

2. My kids have decided cookies taste better BEFORE you cook 'em.

File under "What did you expect?"

Another rollicking gun control success story, this time from the freedom loving bastion of liberty, Communist China.

BEIJING (AP) A man slashed 25 children with a kitchen knife Monday at a grade school in eastern China and held a 9-year-old girl hostage for an hour before police captured him, the government said.

It was the third time in six weeks that a knife attack has been reported at a Chinese school or day care center. The earlier attacks left one child dead, injured a total of 42 people and caused widespread concern about school safety.


Most gun ownership in China is illegal but explosives, knives and other weapons are readily available.

Nothing more to say here, folks - move along.

No Brainer?

From the Boston Herald:

Suspect wielding machete cuts cop

Boston police officers shot and wounded a machete-wielding man after he sliced one cop in the leg last night, police said.

Police said two officers were responding to a report of two brothers fighting at 214 Princeton St. in East Boston at 9:10 p.m. One of the brothers came out the door of the second-floor apartment brandishing a machete and swung at the cops, cutting one in the knee.


The shooting will be investigated by internal affairs officials to determine whether the use of force was appropriate, a police spokesman said.

God help us all if this investigation takes a second more than three minutes to open, conduct, and close. Maybe, just maybe, if this guy could have had some free ice cream, this situation could have been avoided.

Friday, September 17, 2004

Well-regulated Jackass

As the saying goes, it's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt. Someone should really pass that advice words on to the junior senator from Massachusetts.

Let's play "How Full of Crap am I?".

I'm honored to be here today at your 126th Convention. I can't tell you how proud I am to stand before you -- and how grateful I am to have the opportunity to talk with you today.

I came out here because I wanted to look you in the eye and say thank you. Thank you for your service; thank you for caring; thank you for the sacrifices you and your families make for our country.

Except, for your boss, the Commander-in-Chief. He's a disgrace to the Guard and the uniform. Shit, did I just say that out loud?
[Note: This paragraph is not in the transcript I linked to, but I have an authentic re-creation of the actual transcript, from an unimpeachable source, which, although it might be forged, is accurate.]

I come from a state with a great tradition of service and a great understanding of who you are. You can't live in the shadow of Bunker Hill, Lexington Green, the Bridge at Concord, and not know the meaning of Minutemen and citizen service to country.

Why not? You can, apparently.

For more than three centuries...

Huh??? you know better than anyone, our National Guard has stood on the frontlines of freedom. The Guard fought in that first great revolution, and has defended our country ever since, here in America and around the world.

So, by his own words from just two days ago, you have to enlist in the National Guard to be considered a member of a "well-regulated militia". Where have we heard that one before?

Memo to The Great White Hunter: Eat me.

Good Friggin' Grief

Clearly, it's time for an Assault Bookmark Ban.

Kathryn Harrington was flying home from vacation last month when screeners at the Tampa, Fla., airport found her bookmark. It's an 8.5-inch leather strip with small lead weights at each end.

Airport police said it resembled a weighted weapon that could be used to knock people unconscious. So the 52-year-old special education teacher was handcuffed, put into a police car, and charged with carrying a concealed weapon.

Got that? If an object could be used to inflict harm, it's a dangerous weapon, the possession of which will get you cuffed and stuffed. This is beyond ridiculous - hardly worth my time and energy typing this.

So, forget about wearing a belt when you travel by plane. You could strangle someone with that. Same rationale applies to shoelaces, panty hose, and dental floss. And as far as objects that "could be used to knock people unconscious" - no more laptops allowed. Ballpoint pen? Hell no, you could poke someone's eye out with that weapon.

Here's the deadly implement in question:

How can anyone honestly argue that these killing machines have a place in a civilized society? Think about the children, people!

More Local Loozahs

Lock 'em up...

A Sandwich High School football captain shouted "freshmen beatdown," inciting a brutal gang rush against the school's youngest players, gravely injuring one boy, officials said.

Nine football players were suspended as of yesterday and face possible criminal charges as 14-year-old Garrett Watterson recovered from extensive surgery to remove his ruptured spleen.

...throw away the key.

MILFORD -- Police plan to seek animal cruelty charges against a Rhode Island teen who allegedly shoved a stray dog 30 feet down a cliff into a water-filled quarry off Cedar Street yesterday.

How royally messed up do you have to be to say to yourself, "Man, I'm bored. Hey, look, a dog...and a 30-foot cliff. Hmmmm...I wonder."?

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Ahhh...The Future of Our Country

I'm at a loss for words...almost.

One of a group of evil-spirited teens who destroyed a Taunton family's home and tortured their pets is the son of a major at the Suffolk County sheriff's office, neighbors and officials said.

"They're dangerous kids. This is terrible. They destroyed everything I own. It keeps us awake at night," Bill Humphrey said yesterday while standing in his home, which has been unlivable since last month's ransacking.

The Humphreys said that while they were vacationing in Maine, the teens broke in through a basement window and killed their fish, shot one cat, egged another cat, plucked out their bird's feathers and covered their turtle and lizard with dishwasher detergent.

They also urinated on clothes, broke furniture, smashed electronic equipment and new kitchen appliances, dumped paint on new carpets and walls, destroyed kitchen cabinets and poured out food, officials allege.

The teens stole two guns, ammo, jewelry and Humphrey's correction officer badge, said officials, who estimate the damage at $110,000.

It gets worse. According to the news report last night, the kids did this to get back at the homeowner for telling them to stop cutting across his lawn. WTF? WTFF?

It will be interesting to see how this plays out. The two stolen guns should be enough to put them away for a while. I wouldn't be surprised to see county prosecutors pull out the old kid gloves and let them off easy (probation, no prison time, keeping it in juvenile system). If they even think of charging the homeowner with violating the safe storage laws for letting his guns get stolen, I'll go ballistic.

If someone could give me a reason why these kids shouldn't be incarcerated for a long, long time, I'm all ears.

Menino Serves Up Another Fluffer-nutter

Oh, THIS will help.

BOSTON -- Mayor Thomas M. Menino has ended the city's decades-old ban on night high school football, saying he wants to help heal communities scarred by a recent spike in crime.


"This is about building relationships between different kids from different neighborhoods," Menino told The Boston Globe. "Getting them to understand each other, work with each other, play against each other and become friends with one another."

Sorry, Tom, but this is about you trying to pass yourself off as an effective leader while doing nothing to address the very real and growing problem of urban youth violence. This is just what we DON'T need - another feel-good do-nothing policy, the likes of which have become all too familiar in these parts.

Night high school football was banned after a 1958 brawl broke out during a preseason exhibition involving all the teams in Boston. The fight spilled into the streets of Egleston Square and sparked outrage around the city.

Let me see if I understand this correctly. In an effort to curb youth violence in the community, the mayor wants to bring back nighttime football games, which were previously banned in an effort to curb youth violence in the community. Huh? Am I missing something here?

I'll give you one guess as to how much real impact any of this will have.

"Our city kind of had a tough summer, so sometimes it's good to bring in some good security, some free ice cream, have people come sit in the stands and just enjoy themselves," said Kenneth Still, athletic director of the Boston public schools.

Yeah, kids might be getting gunned down in our city parks by violent gun-wielding thugs, but hey, FREE ICE CREAM! Now, I feel safe.

Moving On

OK, enough of Dan Rather. He's been exposed for what he is, a partisan hack with a seething hatred of President Bush. He's finished. Barring any earth-shattering developments in this story, I will not be wasting any additional time and energy on future commentary.

It's not like there's a shortage of blogosphere coverage on this matter.

We now return to our regularly scheduled program.

Quote of the Week

Dan Rather, from yesterday's Washington Post:

If the documents are not what we were led to believe, I'd like to break that story.

To add to that, let me just say that I'd like to write the lyrics to "Abbey Road", date Marilyn Monroe, and put 100 grand down on New England to beat the Rams in Super Bowl XXXVI.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

For the Record

Misleading headline correction from the Boston Globe.

Correction: Because of an editing error...

Officer, I wasn't speeding, I merely made an acceleration error.

Detect a pattern here?

Keeping tabs on Drudge today, we get this series of updates on the big CBS statement supposedly due out at noon today.

First this:






Good plan, Dan. Only 387 more of these delays, one every three hours, and it will be November 3rd.

Taken With a Grain of (Pretzel) Salt

Beer in moderation could be good for you

TORONTO -- Beer, a health food? That's what some Canadian researchers report.

A study from the University of Western Ontario finds a brew could be good for you. The researchers say beer has antioxidant boosters that could help fight cancer, heart disease and diabetes.

But the key is moderation. The researchers found three beers would have the opposite effect.

The study was funded by beermakers Guinness and Labatt. But the university says the financial support had no influence on the outcome.

No real news here. Any beer drinker worth his salt has known this for years.

But now, if someone would only publish a similar study on the health benefits of Tostitos® Hint of Lime, THEN I'd be all set. Few things are as satisfying as finding that one chip with a grossly disproportionate amount of that fake green salty lime powder crud on it.

[homer]Mmmmm...fake green salty lime powder crud.[/homer]

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

It Was 20 Years Ago Today

They say you never forget your first time. [/geek]

From the Boston Sunday Globe

Back on Thursday, as Rathergate floodgates were breaking wide open, I said the following:

"As usual, I won't be holding my breath for a front page retraction from the Boston Globe. I mean it's not like this information can't be pulled up in a matter if minutes by any 12-year-old with an internet connection."

Well, in the interest of fair and balanced blogging, here is the Globe's front-page "retraction". (image "borrowed" from

Original story, page A1. Follow-up story stating that the original story MIGHT be full of crap, page A29. Can't say I'm surprised at the placement of the article, but I will give the Globe partial credit for even running it in the first place.

And with the Washington Post now joining the ranks of the media rats evacuating the S.S. Rather, things are looking pretty bleak for Captain Dan.

Monday, September 13, 2004

More Rather Funny Stuff

From Country Store comes this entertaining page from the CBS News website.

Just in case CBS fails to see the comedy value of this and takes it down in the near future, here's a screen shot.

What color wine goes with irony?

Just One Question

Does this come with naked lady mudflaps standard? More here.

Monday Fun

Lookin' good, Al.

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Fish in a Barrel

From the Letters to the Editor of the Boston Globe:

A window into his character

September 11, 2004

I APPRECIATE the recent Globe articles and the "60 minutes" segment Wednesday that include recent revelations about George W. Bush's record in the Texas Air National Guard. However, it's regrettable that this information did not come out sooner so that it could have been considered by people who voted for either George H.W. or his son.

Come out sooner? The documents, for all intents and purposes, were hot off the presses. It takes a while to Xerox four pages 20 times each to get that perfect "Antiques Roadshow" look. Be patient, will you?

We now know three things:

Can't argue that.

1. Dan Rather is, in fact, the morally-bereft leftist shill we all knew him to be.
2. The Boston Globe has the credibility of a Magic 8-Ball.
3. CBS News wishes it did.

Bush would not have made it into the Guard without his father's intervention. His father attempted to change or prevent negative reports about George W's performance. The elder Bush's influence made the honorable discharge happen, and prevented Bush's being sent to Vietnam for not fullfilling [sic] his duties in the guard.

Oh, THOSE three things (yawn).

The privileged young man who thumbed his nose at the system and then used his Guard service to aggrandize himself politically is now the arrogant president who believes, in his own words, "I don't have to explain anything. I'm the president."

And Bush using his military service to "aggrandize himself politically"? I think you just might have the wrong guy here.

The new information is a valuable window into his character.


It is indeed, Mr. Wheatley. However, to paraphrase your hero, President Clinton, that all depends on your definition of the word "his".

Saturday, September 11, 2004

Never Forget

Never again.

Friday, September 10, 2004

Funny Funny Stuff

Shamelessly lifted from Kevin at Wizbang!

Thursday, September 09, 2004

Mainstream Media Picks it Up

ABC News is on it.

Sept. 9, 2004 — Questions are being raised about the authenticity of newly discovered documents relating to George W. Bush's service in the National Guard during the Vietnam War.


Among the points Flynn and other experts noted:

The memos were written using a proportional typeface, where letters take up variable space according to their size, rather than fixed-pitch typeface used on typewriters, where each letter is allotted the same space. Proportional typefaces are available only on computers or on very high-end typewriters that were unlikely to be used by the National Guard.

The memos include superscript, i.e. the "th" in "187th" appears above the line in a smaller font. Superscript was not available on typewriters.

The memos included "curly" apostrophes rather than straight apostrophes found on typewriters.

The font used in the memos is Times Roman, which was in use for printing but not in typewriters. The Haas Atlas — the bible of fonts — does not list Times Roman as an available font for typewriters.

The vertical spacing used in the memos, measured at 13 points, was not available in typewriters, and only became possible with the advent of computers.

And this from the Department of the Bleeding Obvious:

Many Democrats are worried that if they are found to be forgeries, it will be a setback for Sen. John Kerry's campaign to defeat Bush in November. think?

There's a Rather Born Every Minute

So, CBS News and 60 Minutes run this big "smoking gun" story in an attempt once again to discredit President Bush by attacking his Air National Guard service (insert yawn here).

But previously unseen documents from Killian's personal file obtained by 60 Minutes include a memorandum from May 1972, where Killian writes that Lt. Bush called him to talk about "how he can get out of coming to drill from now through November."

Lt. Bush tells his commander "he is working on a campaign in Alabama…. and may not have time to take his physical." Killian adds that he thinks Lt. Bush has gone over his head, and is "talking to someone upstairs."

Naturally, the Boston Globe, purveyors of truth and fact-checking wizardry, who recently brought you The Abu Ghraib Pornfest, ran the story, claiming the timing of its publication had nothing to do with the tanking campaign of their favorite son, John Kerry.

In August 1973, President Bush's superior officer in the Texas Air National Guard wrote a memorandum complaining that the commanding general wanted him to ''sugar coat" an annual officer evaluation for First Lieutenant Bush, even though Bush had not been at the base for the year in question, according to new documents obtained and broadcast last night by CBS News.

Seems the Globe might not have realized just how new these documents were. Within hours of this story hitting the web, bloggers everywhere were raising a skeptical eyebrow over the authenticity of these new documents. The blue ribbon on the blogosphere's coverage of this matter has to go to Charles at Little Green Footballs.

Here is his screen shot of the alleged August 18, 1973 memo as posted in PDF format at

Memo allegedly typed in August 1973

Here's a screen shot of his version, typed word for word, using the default font, tab, and margin settings in MS Word. I'm fairly certain MS Word would not have been an option for the Air national Guard to use to type memos in 1973, but then again what do I know, I'm not a "journalist".

Word-for-word copy of same memo typed in September 2004

Here are the two superimposed:

Direct comparison of the two

Sorry, CBS, but if it looks like dogshit, smells like dogshit, and feels like dogshit, I don't need to taste it to eliminate all doubt as to its true identity. Either CBS was duped, or CBS is in on the duping and the longer it takes them to come clean, the more complicit in this matter they will appear to be.

As usual, I won't be holding my breath for a front page retraction from the Boston Globe. I mean it's not like this information can't be pulled up in a matter if minutes by any 12-year-old with an internet connection.

Pop Quiz Time

The Kerry/Edwards campaign today most closely resembles

a) the Genesis spacecraft capsule slamming into the desert.
b) the Stryper reunion tour.
c) dry white toast (apologies to Elwood Blues).
d) a retard running from bees.

Vote for my husband, you idiots!

Looks like someone left the beach house door open and Teresa got out (after falling off her rocker - again).

LANCASTER, Pa. (AP) Teresa Heinz Kerry says "only an idiot" would fail to support the health care plan proposed by her husband, Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry.


"Only an idiot wouldn't like this," Heinz Kerry told the Intelligencer Journal of Lancaster for a story in its Thursday editions. "Of course, there are idiots."

Remember, the eeevil Republicans are the party of hate. Can you even imagine Laura Bush saying something as moronic as this? But wait, there's more.

The common man doesn't look at me as some rich witch.

Color me uncommon, I suppose, but is a person who doesn't recognize a cup of chili when she sees it really qualified to be making statements on the perceptions of the "common man"?

Globe Bull Warning

Thomas Oliphant has a Boston Globe "web exclusive" column today making a truly pathetic last-minute argument for the renewal of the Assault Weapons ban scheduled to sunset on Monday after 10 years on the books. Nothing unusual really, just your typical misrepresentations of the facts and flawed reasoning we've come to expect from the proponents of nearly every piece of gun control legislation to come down the pike.

As any trained terrorist or criminal knows, Sept. 13 is a banner day this year, the moment when assault weapons will once again be legal after a decade of government controls on these weapons of choice.

So, when the ban expires, criminals and terrorists will be lining up at gun shops across the country to purchase these weapons? Sorry, Tom, that ain't gonna happen. The criminals and terrorists already have access to any kind of weaponry they desire and can afford.

The National Rifle Association, which hates government control above all, will also be celebrating the apparently inevitable expiration of a ban that has worked.

What the NRA is against is the government's trampling on the rights of American citizens as protected by the United States Constitution. But why let some pesky old piece of parchment get in the way of your political agenda? And to say the ban has worked? Can you offer something to substantiate that claim. An independent study commissioned by the National Institute of Justice (NIJ) had this to say on the matter:

We cannot clearly credit the ban with any of the nation's recent drop in gun violence. And, indeed, there has been no discernible reduction in the lethality and injuriousness of gun violence,

And then there's this piece on a recent review of gun control legislation by the darlings of the gun control movement, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention:

A sweeping federal review of the nation's gun control laws - including mandatory waiting periods and bans on certain weapons - found no proof such measures reduce firearm violence.

The citing of the nationwide decrease in crime, that the AWB supporters are so enamored of, took place over a period of time which also witnessed many states adopting "shall issue" concealed carry laws making it easier for law-abiding citizens to carry firearms for personal protection. You'll never hear Dianne Feinstein arguing that angle.

To claim the Assault Weapons Ban is directly responsible for any decrease in violent crime is akin to claiming FM radio waves cause cancer. Just look at the cancer rate in this country since the invention of FM radio. Scary, huh? Anyway, back to Mr. Oliphant's column.

Unlike desperate demagogues like Dick Cheney this week, I wouldn't dream of taking the obvious cheap shot of linking my ideological opponents to terrorists and criminals (as Cheney did by saying that the wrong vote in November could set the stage for another attack on the United States).

Way to misinterpret a partial quote, put it in print, and expect it to be eaten up by the commoners flocking outside your window just waiting for some table scraps of truth to be thrown their way. That is SO 1990. What Cheney said was that a vote for Kerry/Edwards would set the stage for a limp-wristed, Clintonesque, hand-holding, let's-all-express-our-inner-feelings response to the next terrorist attack on American soil. It's also the reason John Kerry will be my senator for another four years.

It's more accurate to say that the NRA's antigovernment ideology along with terrorists and criminals have a coincidental but identical hope where the 10-year-old assault weapons ban is concerned.

This is the biggest piece of nonsensical, misleading, flat-out untrue pile of crap I've read in a long time. Do you honestly believe, Mr. Oliphant, that terrorists and criminals are hoping that law-abiding citizens will have the ability to purchase these weapons to defend their homeland and families against their criminal intentions?

Hardened violent criminals are among the biggest supporters of all types of gun control. It significantly lowers the risk of bodily harm they might otherwise encounter while pursuing their craft. Check out the murder rates in Washington DC and Chicago - two gun-free utopias. End of argument. There isn't one piece of legislation that will prevent an individual intent on murder from carrying out his plan.

On the Senate floor this week, the mother of the ban, California Senator Dianne Feinstein, offered an example of what America can look forward to. A fellow appeared on the street in the small, northern Ohio town of Geneva this week with what is now an illegal 50-bullet clip on his gun and started shooting - less than 200 yards from an elementary school.

But wait a minute? Just four paragraphs ago you referred to the AWB as "a ban that has worked". How was this individual able to shoot up his neighborhood with a high-capacity magazine on his gun? I thought the ban worked. It couldn't be that people like this have absolutely no respect for the law or the lives of others, could it? As we have seen recently in Russia, there are people in this world to whom raping and killing children is of little moral consequence. These people can not be reasoned with, nor can their behavior be altered through legislation.

In addition, a well-known Illinois gun company, ArmaLite, is pushing consumers not only to order assault weapons now for shipment after the ban expires, but also to add bayonets and even flash suppressors to their weapons.

Again, don't let logical thought get in your way, Tom, you're on a roll, baby! Are you honestly afraid of bayonets flooding the streets. Can you cite ONE instance of a bayonet attack in recent history? I can go to Home Depot today and buy several tools with considerably more potential destructive capability than a bayonet.

I can't quite figure out how a flash suppressor helps a hunter just because the deer can't see where the shot is coming from, but it sure helps a crook, which is why they were previously banned.

Well, you missed the boat here too. Flash suppressors merely direct the muzzle flash horizontally out the sides of the muzzle opening and out of the line of sight of the shooter, preventing temporary blindness from the muzzle flash. Seems that would be a safety feature when using such a firearm for defensive purposes. Isn't the Brady Bunch supposed to be pro-gun safety now?

And nice move there trying to tie the 2nd Amendment to the "needs" of hunters. Too bad the right of the people to keep and bear arms, as protected by the Consitution, has nothing to do with hunting or with one's "needs" where a gun's cosmetic features are concerned.

OK, this is getting tiresome. Let's go to the closer. Mr. Oliphant really hits a home run here.

The ban, however, will expire. Bush will get his endorsement. And people are going to die.

Remember, though, it's the eeeevil Republicans who are the party of fear-mongering.

(some links "borrowed" from Say Uncle - thanks)

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Chucklehead of the Day

Two words: Mo. Ron.

BLOOMINGTON, Ind. -- Monroe County Coroner David Toumey was hospitalized with a leg wound after accidentally shooting himself while trying to demonstrate gun safety.

Toumey told The Herald-Times for a story published Saturday that he was demonstrating gun safety to some people at a Lake Monroe boat ramp about 11 p.m. Wednesday when he accidentally shot himself.

Hmmmm...11:00 at night at a boat ramp by a lake? Nope, nothing fishy here here. That's usually the time and place at which most gun safety demonstrations occur (roll eyes here). Does anyone else think that maybe, just maybe, this guy was out partying on the lake with his friends, irresponsibly showing off his gun, and negligently shot himself in the leg in the process? Are we getting the whole story? I suspect not.

He said that as he checked to make sure his weapon was unloaded, the gun discharged, and a bullet struck him in his left leg.

Translation: While screwing around, showing off my gun to my buddies, I inadvertantly pointed it at my leg, negligently placed my finger inside the trigger guard, and stupidly pulled said trigger, causing the firearm to discharge in the direction I was aiming it.

Clearly, the gun manufacturer is liable here for manufacturing a device that performed exactly it was designed to. I smell a cash settlement. Quick, someone get John "A Boy Named Sue" Edwards on the phone.

Kerry Campaign (mis)Fires Back

So, the Kerry campaign issued a press release to refute the charges discussed in the post below that John Kerry was given a shotgun as a gift that his co-sponsored legislation, Senate Bill S.1431, would have banned as an "assault weapon" had it become law.

Here's what John Kerry West Virginia Communications Director Amy Goodwin had to say:

The facts are clear. John Kerry opposes banning this gun and always will. John Kerry was proud to receive this union-made gun at the United Mine Workers Labor Day picnic in Racine, West Virginia.

Sorry, Amy, but that facts, as they exist in your head, are not clear. In fact they're quite murky, much like any typical piece of gun control legislation. If what you say is true, and that Senator Kerry currently opposes banning this firearm, perhaps what you meant to say was "The senator supported banning this gun BEFORE he opposed banning it".

Lets have a look now at those facts, shall we?

1. The firearm in question is a semi-automatic shotgun. FACT

2. Senate Bill S.1431 "Assault Weapons Ban and Law Enforcement Protection Act of 2003" was co-sponsored by Senator John Kerry (D-MA) and 13 other U.S. Senators. FACT

3. Senate Bill S.1431 classifies semiautomatic shotguns as "assault weapons" if they have one or more of the following features: a folding or telescoping stock, a pistol grip, the ability to accept a detachable magazine, or a fixed magazine capacity of more than 5 rounds. FACT

4. The language contained in Senate Bill S.1431 states that "The term `pistol grip' means a grip, a thumbhole stock, or any other characteristic that can function as a grip". FACT

There are your facts, Amy. They're clearer than you might care to realize. Either Kerry co-sponsored this bill because it reflects his true agenda as a legislator devoted to the erosion of individual firearms rights, or, as he claims is the case with his vote to authorize war against Saddam Hussein, he was misled into co-sponsoring it based on lies, mistruths and fabrications set forth by Dianne Feinstein, Chuck Schumer, et al.

So, which one is it, Ms. Goodwin? I gotta say, I'm leaning toward the former. Kerry wasn't just voting in favor of this bill, he felt strongly enough about it to allow his name to be listed as a co-sponsor. Telling, no?

Also, while reading through the text of S.1431, I came across one passage just oozing with Kerryspeak:

(30) The term `semiautomatic assault weapon' means any of the following:


(L) A semiautomatic rifle or shotgun originally designed for military or law enforcement use, or a firearm based on the design of such a firearm, that is not particularly suitable for sporting purposes, as determined by the Attorney General. In making the determination, there shall be a rebuttable presumption that a firearm procured for use by the United States military or any Federal law enforcement agency is not particularly suitable for sporting purposes, and a firearm shall not be determined to be particularly suitable for sporting purposes solely because the firearm is suitable for use in a sporting event.

How's THAT for nuance? This is what the esteemed senator from Massachusetts refers to as common-sense gun control legislation. Read that paragraph again. Then review the list of co-sponsors of S.1431. Now imagine which names from that list a President Kerry would consider for Attorney General. Yes, be afraid, be very afraid.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

The Great White Hunter - continued

John Kerry once again tries to convince people he's the pro-gun rights candidate.

In West Virginia, Cecil Roberts, president of the United Mine Workers of America, gave Kerry a rifle as a gift. Kerry, a self-described gun-owner and hunter, quipped: "I thank you for the gift, but I can't take it to the debate with me."

Leaving aside the "joke" about bringing a shotgun to the debate against Bush (more on that later, if I feel like it), it's a good thing for John Kerry that the gun control legislation he recently co-sponsored didn't become law. He nearly outlawed a perfectly good, albeit contrived and unconvincing, campaign photo-op.

From the Drudge Report:

Was Dem presidential hopeful John Kerry seen this weekend waving a gun which would have been banned if legislation he co-sponsored became law?

Kerry co-sponsored S. 1431 last year (“The Assault Weapons Ban and Law Enforcement Protection Act of 2003) which would have banned a "semiautomatic shotgun that has a pistol grip.”

Opponents of the bill successfully argued how nearly all guns have "pistol grips," inluding [sic] millions of Browning Auto-5 shotguns produced since 1903.

Photos show Kerry's hand resting on the "pistol grip," as loosely defined in the bill.

Kerry's bill would ban millions of semi-automatics, including those with "pistol grips." [Section SEC. 2; (H) (ii)]

So, how did the language of that bill define "pistol grip"?

(42) PISTOL GRIP- The term `pistol grip' means a grip, a thumbhole stock, or any other characteristic that can function as a grip.

You see? Kerry doesn't want to ban ALL semi-automatic guns, only those that you can hold with your hands. Well, THAT clears it up. Drudge then goes on...

But Kerry's gun bill would also banned [sic] any "gift" transaction!

It is not clear if Kerry submitted to a waiting period and completed the required paperwork (Form 4473) or Brady background check before he claimed the gun.

Also, since the Gun Control Act of 1968 was passed, it has been illegal for an unlicensed individual (a non-dealer, non-collector, non-manufacturer, etc.) to obtain a firearm in a state in which you are not a legal resident.

FWIW, this map from shows that Massachusetts Licenses to Carry and FID cards (which are required for possession of shotguns in Massachusetts) are not recognized in West Virginia.

[post edited to link to map and not display image]

Apparently, if you're a US Senator, Kerry would bestow on you special immunity from the laws that would otherwise be intended for only us commoners. Country Store has more on this, and says it's a Remington (1100 or 11-87 series), not the Browning Auto-5 referenced in the Drudge Report piece. Browning stopped producing the Auto-5 shotguns a few years back.

UPDATE: Instapundit has more (as if he needs the links).

UPDATE: Stark Truth says it's a Beretta Model A300. Seems the jury's undecided on this. Stay tuned.

UPDATE: Reader CDig points out that this map might only apply to concealed carry permits. I will have to see if the laws in West Virginia allow for non-residents to carry firearms without a permit.

UPDATE (last one too, as this story is now just a few hours away from officially being blogged to death): Say Uncle has more.

File under "Another Stupid Dead Kid"

Who would have thought? Daddy's BMW + 16 year-old kid + late night party = dead kid. I'm stunned.

Hingham High School is getting off to a sorrowful start today as students mourn the death of a standout lacrosse player killed in a high-speed car crash after an end-of-summer party, classmates and cops said.

Maybe we should file this under "Shitty Parenting 101".

(16-year-old Ted) Cochran was behind the wheel of his dad's BMW driving at least 100 mph when he lost control of the car and took out a utility pole before careening into the woods about 11:30 p.m. Sunday, police said. Neither teen was wearing a seat belt.

Cochran, who would have started his junior year today, got his driver's license in June and under state law wasn't permitted to be driving with another teen in the car.

Now is this incident a "tragedy" or merely the expected result of stupid, irresponsible behavior? I don't understand how anyone can be shocked or horrified by this. Kids die on our streets just like this every damn weekend, due in large part to reckless behavior and complete lack of personal responsibility, not to mention any kind of grasp on reality. But hey, maybe this was just some good kids who made a stupid mistake...or not. Yes, it gets worse.

In March, a Hingham High baseball player broke his ankle after he and another student were in a car accident after a party at Cochran's house, classmates said.

It was never a question of "if" Ted Cochran or one of his buddies would kill someone - it was a question of "when". Well, now that "when" is "now", do you think his death will have any impact on the future behavior of his peers? I'm not banking on it.

UPDATE (10/24/04): Well, this post certainly made the rounds - got people talking, I see. Good. Click HERE to read my final say on this matter. Then feel free to leave whatever poorly-spelled, invective-laden, homophobic death threats you deem necessary. Be warned, you may encounter comments from people less sympathetic than myself.


Monday, September 06, 2004

This Sounds Painfully Familiar

News Flash: Boston Mayor, Tom Menino still doesn't get it:

BOSTON- Mayor Thomas Menino on Monday called on members of the community to help stem a summer spate of violence that most recently claimed the lives of three men who were shot in Dorchester over the weekend.

"There has to be a sense of responsibility out there," Menino said. "The police can't do it alone. It has to be all of us working together to make this city safe."

With all due respect (not much), Mr. Mayor, after having successfully disarmed the law-abiding people who live in your city, what the hell did you think would happen? You've done absolutely nothing to address any realistic solution to this increase in gun violence - except to call for additional gun control, right out of the "Feel-Good Do-Nothing Liberal Politician Playbook". Yeah, like that'll help.

You're asking for a "sense of responsibility" from the people who live here, while at the same time supporting policies based on the assumption that these same people can't be trusted with the basic responsibility of defending their lives and protecting their loved ones. Sorry, Tom, but you simply can't have it both ways.

You then go on to say "the police can't do it alone"? Well, seeing as they're the only ones in the city that you'll allow to carry firearms to defend themselves, the cops had best get used to it. Why would a defenseless mother of four, living in the 'hood, risk her life to rat out the neighborhood crack dealer, when minding her own business and keeping her mouth shut gives her and her kids a much higher probability of survival. Do you ever visit these neighborhoods without your camera crew and police escort in tow? Have you ever walked down Blue Hill Avenue? on a Saturday night? in July? alone? Yeah, I didn't think so.

Here's a novel approach, for you - empower the people who are most at risk here. You've already admitted the police can't protect them from violent crime, but you are doing everything you can to keep them at the mercy of the street gangs and under the thumbs of the local politicians.

This is your mess, Mr. Mayor. You clean it up.


What a bunch of girlie-men.

NEW YORK (AP) The New York Yankees asked the commissioner's office to award them a forfeit over the Tampa Bay Devil Rays after they failed to arrive in time Monday because of travel problems due to Hurricane Frances.

New Contest Coming Soon

The Great Mullet Challenge will be closing on Wednesday to make room for the new contest here at mAss Backwards. Unless, someone comes up with a better mullet pic than Matt, he will be declared the winner - it was the tux.

OK, moving on now. I will be setting up a shop with merchandise featuring the soon-to-be completed mAss Backwards logo.

This is where you, my readers, come into play. I need a couple good slogans to describe the spirit of this blog. Entries should reflect the transition of Massachusetts from the Cradle of Liberty to the Land of Kennedy/Kerry (hey, whadda you know, there's my first entry) or just flat-out ridicule the Commonwealth and its elected officials. I'm already planning on using "Massachusetts: Live Free or Die Here" shown here, but would like a few more suggestions for some added variety.


Sunday, September 05, 2004

File under "AMGCSS"

Yes, it's Another Massachusetts Gun Control Success Story. Stop me if you've heard this one before.

Three men were shot to death in a vehicle parked on a Dorchester street last night and a fourth man was then critically wounded when he was shot while inside a vehicle on an adjacent street, police said.


"When individuals are sitting in a car and someone comes up and shoots them while they're in the car, its not a random act," Foley said. "It's obviously a planned act, and sometimes in those types of incidents police can't do much about it."

Translation: Massachusetts has the strictest gun control laws in the country, and they don't do jack shit. It still seems that criminals don't obey the law. Who knew?

Putin - 1, Boston Globe - 0

It seems that Russian President, Vladimir Putin has taken the midnight ramblings of the Kerry/Edwards campaign to heart. He is answering the "wake-up call" that has taken place in his country in the form of multiple terrorist attacks and mass casualties.

BESLAN, Russia - A shaken President Vladimir Putin made a rare and candid admission of Russian weakness yesterday in the face of an "all-out war" by terrorists after more than 340 people - nearly half of them children - were killed in a hostage-taking at a southern school.

Putin went on national television to tell Russians that they must mobilize against terrorism and promised wide-ranging reforms to toughen security forces and purge corruption.

Now, if we could just get the liberal left to understand that it's radical Islamic terrorism threatening our nation's survival and not our own President.

"We showed weakness, and weak people are beaten," he said in an address aimed at addressing the grief, shock and anger felt by many after a string of attacks that have killed some 450 people in the past two weeks, apparently in connection with the war in Chechnya.

Memo to Senator Kerry: Take your "sensitive war on terror" crap and heed your wife's advice - shove it.

Now if someone could just get this message out to the friendly folks at the Boston Globe. This editorial from yesterday starts out reflecting some of the same issues Putin was addressing in regards to the questionable actions of the Russian forces and the government's lack of preparedness for such terrorist hostilities.

Yesterday's horrific end of the hostage crisis in Russia's Republic of North Ossetia, with a death toll in three figures, illustrates above all the hostage-takers' pitiless cruelty. The chaos surrounding the unplanned rescue operation and the manner in which Russian special forces lost control of the situation also suggest a lack of competence that had tragic consequences.

But, by the end of the piece, their train of thought gets derailed and takes a sharp 180 from Putin's newly-discovered outlook on reality.

Nothing can be done now to bring back those lost lives. But if Putin were to admit the failure of his war policy in Chechnya and explore a political solution, he would have a chance to end the rationale for such outrages as the hostage-taking and save the lives of many Chechens and Russians.

The editors at the Globe apparently believe that these terrorist are capable of rational thought, and that all we need to do is sit down and discuss our feelings with one another. Well, screw that.

They and rest of the worlds' pacifists can hold hands with this murderous scum all they want, while discussing their societal woes over a spot of tea. If they knew what was good for them, they'd best get out of the way. While they're opening a box of crumpets, I hope Putin will be opening a big can of whup-ass, the likes of which these shitheads have never seen.

Friday, September 03, 2004

It's not the heat...'s the stupidity.

NEW YORK (AP) -- Kevin Brown's frustrating season finally reached a boiling point, and now his hot temper could cost the New York Yankees at the most important time.

Brown broke his non-pitching hand when he punched a wall in the clubhouse Friday night during a 3-1 loss to the Baltimore Orioles that cut New York's lead in the AL East to just 2 1/2 games over Boston.

"Stupidity," Brown said, choosing his words carefully.


Reason #481 to loathe CNN

More "sensitive" reporting on the terrorist activities in Russia, this time from CNN. If this is one phase of Kerry's "sensitive war on terror", I'll pass, thanks.

BESLAN, Russia (CNN) -- Hundreds of people held hostage at a school in southern Russia fled to safety Friday, but scores are reported dead as pitched battles continue between troops and hostage-takers.

Hostage takers? And if a guy shoots a bunch of kids while robbing a convenience store, what does that make him? a money-taker? Give me a break. These people (and I'm being very generous bestowing human qualities on them like that) are TERRORISTS. End of discussion. They use small children for shields, then shoot them in the back when things don't go down according to their deranged plan.

But, NOOOO...we don't want to portray these people as terrorists, that would only underscore the threat the world is facing from these animals (apologies to animals). And that might make George Bush look like a strong candidate by validating the "Bush Doctrine" of pre-emption as a useful means of ridding the world of this scum. And we certainly can't allow THAT to happen.

Here's the summary of the terms used in this article by CNN to describe these vermin:

Hostage Takers - 7 times
Rebels - 5 times
Militants - 3 times
Abductors - once

The only time they dared to use the word "terrorist", they made sure to put it in quotation marks AND use the word "quoted" alongside it. I guess that by attributing the use of the word to others, and over-emphasizing that fact, CNN won't need to worry about directly offending these nice people.

Interfax quoted a Defense official as saying that "the terrorists planted a lot of mines and booby-traps filled with metal bolts in the gym" where hostages were held.

Well, isn't that just charming? Nothing garners support for your "rebel" cause like metal bolts tearing through the flesh of children.

Kill 'em all. Now.

Bumpah Stickah

Slow day in the office, can you tell?

Kerry Looks to the Future

Just kidding.

NANTUCKET, Mass. (Reuters) - Democrat John Kerry hit back at Dick Cheney on Thursday by raising the Republican's failure to serve in the Vietnam War and asking voters to weigh his two tours of duty against the vice president's five

Z z z z z z z z z z . . . .

Vandals for Kerry

Seems our junior senator has picked up the endorsement of the local vandals in Roxbury. Nothing says "Vote for my guy" quite like a little illegal activity.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Take a Number...

...preferably 9 or 10.

OK, so after eight months, I finally figured out how to upload pictures from my cell phone to my computer. Better late then never, I guess. One thing's for sure, I'll definitely have a lot more pics to post in the future.

First up, since putting this up on the wall of my office, I find fewer people coming in to ask me stupid questions - go figure. Scares the liberal Massachusetts weenies around here too.

Here We Go Again

Another shooting in Boston last night. Another kid clinging to life. And, yes, another Massachusetts gun control success story.

"He thought it was over, and that's when he got shot," Santana said. "I was just a few feet away. He got hit in the head. . . . It was pretty bad."

Saladin, 20, who lived in the Dorchester development with his mother and brother, was clinging to life last night at Boston Medical Center, but his mother, speaking at times through a translator, said funeral arrangements were underway.

The irony here is that if our politicians, prosecutors, and judges were serious about fighting crime in the Commonwealth, instead of showing up in front of the TV cameras to offer a feel-good tough-on-crime soundbite every other week, this kid would be behind bars today instead of on life support with a bullet wound to the head.

In January 2000, according to press reports, Saladin was arrested at Dorchester's Jeremiah E. Burke High School for allegedly carrying a loaded gun in his school backpack.

This laissez-faire attitude toward crime control is literally killing the Commonwealth. This kid, like so many others these days, violates nearly every firearms law on the books, and is free to roam the streets while our legislators spend their days dreaming up new ways to restrict the constitutional rights of law-abiding citizens who choose to stand up and defend their families from violent crime.

I'd like to say that change is on the horizon, but that's an entirely foreign concept to our elected officials for whom the status quo has become a very comfortable way of life.

Friendly Neighborhood "Militants"

What's wrong with this picture?

BESLAN, Russia (AP) Russian officials negotiated fruitlessly through the night to end a standoff with militants who threatened to blow up a school they seized 24 hours before with about 350 hostages, including children, trapped inside.

Negotiations? What do they think they're doing over there? signing a book deal? buying a used car? These militants (aka: terrorists, for those of us to the right of Jim McDermott) have no desire for compromise. They lack anything that can be describes as a conscience. The concepts of compassion and logical thought are lost on them. They are animals with whom you simply cannot negotiate.

Not so, according to the Associated Press. Here is how the AP describes them, in just this article alone:

...militants who threatened to blow up a school...

The hostage-takers had demanded...

...had told the militants they would be promised...

The raiders reportedly have threatened...

...where separatist rebels have been fighting...

Suspicion in the raid fell on Chechen militants...

Heavily armed militants wearing masks...

...the militants placed a sniper on an upper floor...

...some of the militants had been identified...

...the militants sent out a list of demands...

...there were between 15 and 24 militants.

...the insurgents increasingly strike civilian targets...

Is ANYONE going to stand up here and call a spade a spade? Yes.

President Bush called Putin and "condemned the taking of hostages and the other terrorists attacks in Russia," White House spokeswoman Claire Buchan said. Bush offered "assistance" to Russia in dealing with the crisis if requested, but no request had been made so far, the White House said.

Thank you, Mr. President. Buy that man a Blue Ribbon! I would love to see the left's reaction if U.S. troops were sent in and were successful in freeing these innocent kids from these inhuman pieces of filth. The Leftist Spin Department (LSD) would have to start running three shifts a day to figure out how to portray that as a bad thing.

But, to be fair and balanced in my commentary on this, I should point out that Bush isn't the only one talking tough here:

After an emergency session called for by Russia, the United Nations Security Council condemned "the heinous terrorist act" and demanded the immediate and unconditional release of all hostages.

(waits for laughter to subside)

Boy, they must be just shakin' in their shoes now. Why didn't we think of this brilliant strategy and demand the unconditional surrender of Bin laden two years ago?

Further proof, as if you needed any, that you can't spell "pound sand" without "UN".

Jane has more, along with another example of AP reporting standards.

Zell's Bells

If you missed Zell Miller's speech last night at the RNC, the transcript is here. I particularly enjoyed this bit referring to the leaders of today's Democratic Party:

It is not their patriotism - it is their judgment that has been so sorely lacking. They claimed Carter's pacifism would lead to peace.

They were wrong.

They claimed Reagan's defense buildup would lead to war.

They were wrong.

And, no pair has been more wrong, more loudly, more often than the two Senators from Massachusetts, Ted Kennedy and John Kerry.

Funny, we haven't seen much of Uncle Ted out on the campaign trail since he helped sell Kerry to the dejected Deaniacs. I wonder why. Not.

UPDATE: Wizbang has the recap of Zell Miller's bitch-slapping of Chrissy Matthews on Hardball last night.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Thanks for nothing, Ted

Much to the chagrin of Senators Kerry and Kennedy, it seems that quite a few inner-city kids in DC are going to receive a quality education this year.

WASHINGTON - As the school year begins, more than 1,000 students are using a new voucher program to escape troubled public schools in the nation's capital.

So, how does John "Say Good-bye to Special Interest Groups" Kerry feel about this?

Critics, including Democratic presidential contender John Kerry, say vouchers strip money from teachers unions' campaign contribution coffers public schools and funnel it to private schools that have the audacity to spend that money on educating our youth face little accountability.

How the Kerry Kamp expects to make a campaign issue out of education is a mystery to me. We shall see.

The program provides up to $7,500 per child to cover tuition, fees and other educational expenses. While tuition rates range from $3,000 to $22,415 per year, participating institutions have waived costs exceeding the grant limit, or provided other financial aid.

Numerous problems in the D.C. Public Schools have fueled interest in the program. The system has its fifth permanent superintendent in nine years. In February, a student was shot dead inside a high school, allegedly by another student. Enrollment is down, including more than 10,000 students who departed for publicly funded charter schools.

So, the continuing support of the NEA and the AFT, and the maintenance of the status quo in the American public education system are worthy recipients of millions of dollars of taxpayers' money, but this dead kid wasn't worth the $7,500 that might have got him out of that school and into a safe learning environment. Throw the Brahmin Noodle at the wall, he'll definitely stick now.